tallforadwarf's page

I was waiting to make this post until *all* the new classes were revealed for the Pathfinder Advanced Player's Guide. My overwhelming response to all of classes is "This is better suited as a variant." Time to take a quick look!

Alchemist - This is the most interesting and valid concept of the new classes Paizo are adding. Although, as it exists now, the skill of alchemy is open to all classes, so again, I think to myself, if you feel that there is not enough alchemy in games, then come up with some new funky uses for the skill - new alchemical items that anyone can make, possibly based on low level spell effects? Or again, work on a variant of the wizard class who brews potions instead of studying books and scrolls. In 2nd Edition, every wizard was also an alchemist by default. I'm interested to see how this is going to be pulled off, but it is going to have to be something special to convince me that more uses for the skill wouldn't have been better.

Cavalier - Ah! We all knew this relic of D&D was going to get resurrected! And, coincidentally, I just picked up the Green Ronin Cavalier class book for $2.00 in the Paizo sale. This is another idea that I love, the cavalier is a real classic archetype. However, they are already represented by the paladin in many ways, and it is perfectly possible to play a cavalier using a number of different options from the 3rd edition, any version you like, rule set. So why does this need to be a new class? I'm going to forgive this Paizo this one, like any eccentric writer, there are certain things they love and this is one of them. But I really don't feel the need for a whole new class.

Oracle - Spontaneous divine caster! Ooh! While there is a mechanical opening for such a class, and I welcome that opening to be filled, I really think that a variant sorcerer or a variant cleric would be the best way to present this idea. Also, there doesn't seem to be any logical connection between the divine and these casters - why do they get divine powers? I'm open to the idea, but I'm not sold on what I see. It looks messy in the preview, and not at all like what you would associate with the word "oracle".

Summoner - The summoning spells are awesome fun, but does this really need to be a new class? A wizard or a sorcerer (or a druid, or a cleric) can easily call themselves a summoner and there are a lot of options open to these characters regarding summoning already. Again I find myself wondering why this needs to be a whole new class. Some new, optional extra rules, like more feats to pick extra powers for your summoned creatures, for example, would be much more welcome than a whole new class. And much easier to integrate, too. My wife plays a summoner, a sorcerer who specializes in summoning spells. Some new and interesting spells would be 100x more welcome to existing players, I'm sure, than a whole new class. E.g. We've had a lot of fun with some 3rd party spells, including one that lets you summon siege weapons. A couple of intelligence boosting spells later and the summoned badgers are helping load them - it's great fun! Or perhaps something like Astral Construct for magic users?

Inquisitor - The description sounds like a ranger variant. In every sense of the word. This really flies in the face of what we were first told by Paizo - everyone of these classes was supposed to fill a niche that was wide open in terms of the core classes. Guy who hunts things down? Check one - Paladin, check two - ranger, check three - rogue, check four - assassin PrC. That is without going into the broadness of the concept, i.e. there is no reason why a wizard can't also be a hunter of X. Plus it is another slap in the face of the XPH fans who now have to rename the Inquisitor feat.... I'm taking that one very personally! ;p

Witch - I loved the witch kit, back in AD&D - awesome! Although this sounds less like that idea, which is a shame as, with no warlock in Pathfinder, the 'making pacts' angle is something that is wide open! Ah well. Plus with the focus on a beefier familiar, isn't the witch going to start stepping on the toes of the new summoner class and their touted "one big familiar" angle. And again, I think that a witch/warlock is already in the rules, just needs some additional options to bring them fully into the game, e.g. lower level versions of spells like planar ally.

In summary? I'm not impressed. These ideas do not really warrant separate classes, as promised, but would be better represented by class variants.

But I don't want to be totally negative. My doctors say that that is really bad for me right now, so I'm going to try to type a little more, giving some hints as to the things that might win me back, with regard to these archetypes standing on their own as classes.

Alchemist - I suppose the way to win me back with this one is to make it dynamic. I'm thinking that the more like McGuyver the class is, the less wizardly and more unique the class will come out as. I like the idea of brewing up some potions each day, but also have some tubes on stand-by, like open spell slots on the wizard, that just need a little of that dungeon-moss from over there.... That would be fun.

Cavalier - The more cultural neutral this class is, the more I'm going to be into it. Defined by having a code of honor of some kind, and fighting mounted somehow, are the ingredients. From there I want a gladiatorial charioteer (obey the rules of the games, please the crowd as a form of code) to be just as possible as a noble-knight. That would make for a good class. Plus any mount-related abilities would also be welcome, like being able to get more out of your horse (granting them temporary HP would be nice).

Oracle - To win me back here, all it needs is decent flavor. There is a gap in rules that this class will be filling, but I need to see that backed up with some solid "real world" reasons for the class to exist. None of the woolly divine-mind/ardent crap!

Summoner - I really don't know how to sell me on this concept as I don't see a vacancy here. Solid mechanics would be a good starting point. Some sort of exploration of the relationship between the summoner and the summoned would also be welcome - can the summoner exchange being summoned themselves for even more power? That'd be cool. I guess I'd also be on board with summoning things that aid the summoner indirectly - like summoning a spirit into their sword briefly, "self buffs", I think is the term.

Inquisitor - When is a ranger not a ranger? I would like to see something decidedly un-ranger like here, to be sold on it. A 6-level divine spell progression and lots of knowledge skills would be a good start. Divine bard? I guess I'd also like to see some sort of "wards" mechanic, I thinking more Van-Helsing from the novel as opposed to the terrible modern action movie. Yeah, the more I think about that, the more okay with the idea I'd be. Setting up wards that his/her foes cannot cross, or do so at their peril, that'd be fun. Also another niche of the rules not currently explored too deeply. And that would be a real nasty turn when the dark-elf inquisitor turns up hunting the party, all prepared!

Witch - Link this one to the warlock and the idea of "powers at a price" and I'm sold. Please refer back to the AD&D witch kit for reference. Maybe the familiar is sent by those powers to watch on the witch?

Long time ago Paizo, Nicolas Logue and Tim Hitchcock
were hitchhikin' down a long and lonesome road.
All of a sudden,
there shined a shiny type IV demon...
in the middle...
of the road.

And he said:
"Write the best adventure in the world,
or I'll eat your souls!"

Well they looked at each other,
and they each said...
"Okay."

And they wrote the first thing that came to their heads,
Just so happened to be,
The Best Adventure in the World,
it was The best Adventure in the World.

(SNIP)

This is not The Greatest Adventure in the World, No
This is just Carnival of Tears.
Couldn't remember The Greatest Adventure in the World, No.
No!
This is just Carnival of Tears, oh,
To The Greatest Adventure in the World,
All right!
It was The Greatest Adventure in the World,
All right!
And it was the best mother cluckin' module,
The Greatest Adventure in the world!

Badvok’s Blazing Basher - The legendary dwarf adventurer Badvok, used this magical warhammer throughout the Coiled Serpent campaign. The piece was thought to have been lost, only to turn up on a market stall in the Abyss many generations later.

Ithutt’s Bow - Ithutt still survives to this day, running a small pub in the gate-town of Ribcage. His bow, like most of his artefacts from his adventuring days, was sold off in an effort to finance the goblin’s tavern; Ithutt’s Hut.

Enchanted Arrow/Icy Arrow – The City has an abundance of magical arrows, often sold to adventurers who pass through. They all came from the famous elf Rathenai, who spent several months recovering from his injuries here. He was still under the Feathered Pharaoh’s curse at the time, compelling him to craft a fine arrow each hour lest his heart stop. He gifted all the arrows he had made during his stay to the city, when he left

Rythus’ Boomerang - Salamanders respect the boomerang – it was the weapon of our ancestors, the weapon that brought us into the modern age. Rythus knew this and obeyed the ancient customs, enchanting his boomerang before his spear. He met with success as a result, becoming known across the planes for his skill and bravery.

Ayelashou’s Cape of Deflection - None of the scholars I’ve talked to have ever heard of “Ayelshou”, but his or her name is still stitched to the inside of the cape’s collar. The protection it offers, however, is beyond questioning at such a bargain price!

Csaal’s Mail - Csaal wore this suit of chain mail, forged by her Dwarven husband, throughout most of her adventuring career. She retired after making a big enough score to buy a kingdom, supposedly stolen from an infernal green dragon. She sold off most of her adventuring gear at the request of her husband, as he was fearful that its presence would serve as a constant reminder of her adventuring days; either making her sad, or causing her come out of retirement.

Marionette Armour – This suit of armour was created a devil-smith who was fond of blasphemy. Having no fear of a god who he thought of as powerless, he invited Landanstruh, the god of puppetry, to do his worst. From that day, all weapons and armour he created were cursed, causing those who used his items to move like a puppet! However, in the case of this piece, there was an unexpected benefit – those who don this suit of armour find their feet barely touch the floor as they jerk along, making their steps almost silent.

Zontimax’s War Helm – Zontimax ceased progressing along the path of the wizard, just as he reached the peak of his power. A closely fought battle in a null-magic zone inspired Zontimax to begin training as a warrior. His final, formal act as a Wizard of the Red Robes, was the creation of this helm. It offers fantastic protection, doubly so if your attacker aims for your head!

Bag of Holding I – The workhorse of an adventurer’s magical gear, most of these items do not have a recorded history. However, the purple colour and light silky material of this piece, suggest it was made by Dark Elves.

Celestial Bonsai Tree – This bonsai tree was grown from cuttings taken from the gardens of Mount Celestia. The tiny berries that grow upon it have a healing effect and, when the tree is properly tended to, grow back extremely rapidly.

Elven Circlet - The problem we had identifying this circlet comes from the fact that Elven is not spoken amongst the (SELLER'S SPECIES). Once it was put on, however, we could not see the inscription to read it! The problem was finally solved with a set of mirrors. It turns out this piece belonged to a half-Elven prince called Annasure. As his dominion was over human lands, he ensured he would not forget the other half of his heritage by having it enchanted with the Elven language.

Garldex’s Glove of Storing – Garldex was an amazing and complex character, famous across the planes as both a thief and a holy man. This simple leather glove saved his life on numerous occasions, by virtue of his obsession with preparation.

Gauntlets of the Ogress Mage - These gauntlets were fashioned from star-metal by a powerful Ogress Mage. They have had numerous owners over the generations since, but they magically resist all attempts at re-branding or re-naming. The inscription inside each gauntlet reads “These gauntlets will survive me. Use them in battle. Use them in magic. But do not use them in cowardice! So says Teretight, Ogress Mage”.

Goni’s Gloves of Grabbing – Goni was a Lich who lost his life as an evil sorcerer to an arrow. In his undead state, he crafted these gloves so as to prevent a similar death again. Although one free hand is needed to use these magical gloves, this was not a problem for Goni, who always kept a hand free to cast his spells.

Leprechaun’s Pot - This magical pot used to belong to a Leprechaun, who would have used the treasure it contained to trick mortals. Although the treasure is long-gone, placing more treasure inside the pot makes it disappear, presumably vanishing to the Fae Realms and to the pot’s previous owner. As the treasure vanishes, it grants a little of the Leprechaun’s magic to whoever placed their gold inside.

Lung Mei’s Kama Beads - Lung Mei still lives today, working hard in his modest monastery-cum-workshop on the plane of Mechanus. Although his apprentices create all types of wondrous items, it is Lung Mei himself that produces the best pieces. These prayer beads, inscribed with tenets of order and modesty, are a powerful boon to any spell caster.

Milkmaid’s Revenge – (apron (belt) of Command) Sarah the Swift remembered her difficult early years, working as a milkmaid, before she was adopted by a group of adventurers and became a sorceress. When passing through a small village and seeing a young milkmaid being hassled in a way she was familiar with, Sarah could not help but intervene. It is said she created this magical apron in a single night, gifting it to the milkmaid the following morning. It is believed that the apron has worked its way across the planes, after it was stolen during an Orcish raid on that small village.

Milluet’s Ring of Counter Spelling – This magical ring of counter spelling is largely unremarkable, save for the fact that it is inscribed “to my lover”, for the adventuring monk Milluet. This is an interesting note in the history of the item as Milluet famously took a vow of chastity, to aid in warding off of succubi. The truth may now never be known, but the power of this item is beyond question! BONUS! “Name your arcane spell and I’ll have cast on the ring for free!”

Monkey Fur Bracers - Both the craftsmanship and origin of these bracers are amazing. Created from his own fur, the epic Celestial Ape adventurer Simous crafted these pieces before he gained the Keeper of the Orb’s powers. As such, he had yet to acquire the ability to regenerate; the scars of the bracer’s creation staying with him for the rest of his life.

Siren’s Slippers - These beautiful gold and green slippers lend their wearer the enchanting voice of the Siren who stitched them. Their story before Abaddamus, the famous possessed archer, discovered them in an old well, remains unknown.

Top hat of Toasting – This magical top hat was gifted to Lady Owlskull - by Baron Samedi himself! She later traded the top hat for a lost soul she was guiding as a part of her quest. It has since been owned by over a dozen adventurers, each one of them claiming that the hat told them when it wished to leave them and pass on to a new owner. It’s going cheap as Salamanders have little use for fire-based sorcery!

A Mysterious Psionatrix of Dromite Design - This Psionatrix was crafted by an unknown Dromite over 500’000 years ago, making it one of the oldest pieces currently on sale.

All that Remains of Summer’s End - These stylish white boots are all that remains of the White-Wyrm Summer’s End.

An Eye for a Bargain - This magic rapier was originally twinned with the magic dagger; ‘An Eye for the Ladies’. Both relics of Callahir Singollo, the Elvish bard, were thought lost, until this piece turned up for sale in one of the markets of Sigil.

Armour of the Ghost-faced Killer - The armour of Yashishino, the legendary Ghost-faced Killer, imparts some of the warrior’s skill at arms on the wearer, as well it’s protection.

Aughest’s Staff of the Holy Battlemage - Aughest worked as a troubleshooter of sorts for Celestia about 400 years ago.

Backerwick’s Bubbler - This Gnomish cauldron cooks up useful alchemy out of any liquid; water, wine, urine....

Briny Ball - This rare purple pearl was enchanted by a druid-diviner on some drowned material world.

Crikadel - This rare piece does have the effect of causing you to manifest scales when wearing it, but the protection it offers is second to none.

Doomed Lover’s Rings - These were hastily sold by a broken hearted adventurer. Their fine craftsmanship certainly not to blame for her misfortune.

Ei jholi shys cylol, Ei shaedyl shys cylol - This Elven halberd’s name translates as “A line worth holding, a weapon worth holding”. Although the tale of this weapon has been lost, the construction includes the use of various cockatrice-derived materials.

Encyclopaedia Daemonica, Complete set Encyclopaedia Daemonica 14 vol. - It is very rare to find a complete set of these ancient books.

Esthon’s Bracers - Used by the Centaur villain Esthon during the Riding Wars.

Frostflash - Without a doubt, one of the finest bows ever made by a non-Elf. This powerful relic has seen use on every side of the Blood Wars. Originally crafted as a commissioned piece from a Spellweaver by a long-forgotten hero, this longbow is almost 20’000 years old.

Haun’s Fork - This trident is a relic of the lost faith of Uryna. Members of this strange cult believed that truth was the ultimate weapon.

Hesper’s Cursed Armour - Tales of man-beasts and treachery accompany the demise of each previous owner of this cursed breastplate.

Holy Bread - The Paladin Billaux Faith-spreader of Hera, crafted this staff of her most common spells. Spells she called her ‘bread’.

Howling’s End - A very rare piece, this lance was crafted by a Slaad with the intention to slay ghosts.

Hungry for Orc - This scimitar was created by a sickly Elf who lived in constant fear of dropping from exhaustion in battle, and thus being outshone by his younger, doted on brother. Disease claimed him in the end.

Issaan’s Staff Magic Staff - This powerful staff is perfect for anyone following in Issaan Magebane’s footsteps.

Jontia’s Protection - Jontia swore this cloak offered her protection beyond that which she paid to have woven into it.

Joqua’s Gauntlet - Joqua created this gauntlet as a part of his scheme to get even with his sister.

Kick-Bite - This collar was crafted for an Elven watchdog belonging to a family by the name of Willow-Wise.

Mageslayer - This simply titled sword was created by a one-eyed Dwarf for a no-eyed knight who sought revenge against a three-eyed wizard.

Nashendagaro’s Bell - This huge bell was created by a group of wandering adventurers to protect a humble church that found itself under siege from a near-by magic school.

The following two pieces were actually named and given a story that fit a part of our ongoing campaign -
the PCs had previously decided not to investigate the desecrated barrows described. This is another good tool
you can use when giving some sense of realism to items and your game-world.

Older Brother’s Defense - One of two magical shields, found in a desecrated barrow on the Prison Plane.

Younger Brother’s Defense - One of two magical shields, found in a desecrated barrow on the Prison Plane.

P’endper’s Flaming Sheath - This psychoactive skin was created by a mysterious race of aquatic troglodytes for the hero P’endper, during his quest to foil an Aboleth scheme.

Pesarus’ Chainshirt - This chainshirt was crafted to protect the warrior-king Pesarus.

Plate of the Petitioned Praetorian - The golem this suit of armour can be used to form, is silent about their origins.

Pole of Eyes - Whilst the creator remains a mystery, the workmanship and function a beyond question – made with real Beholder eyes!

Pom of the Splintershields - This Dwarven pom drum is one of the few surviving relics of the Splintershield clan.

Pride’s Face - This full length dress mirror once belonged to an Elven princess, but has since been owned by more than a dozen mages.

Rallabams Ring of Rambunctious Rolling - Rallabam was a famous travelling entertainer over 1000 years ago, who spent a fortune to ensure he was the best.

Rational Ring - This magic ring is set with four jewels, each finely cut from a single large gem by master Gnomish gem-cutters.

Roll’s Aegis - This suit of armour belonged to the legendary thief-archer Roll. It saved him on numerous occasions over the course of his adventures.

Scale the Hail - This whip of climbing includes Storm Giant hair in it’s components and was once a royal heirloom. It’s over 8’000 years old.

Sovereign Glue and Universal Solvent - The secrets of it’s alchemical creation known only to a few, you’re lucky enough to find some on sale today!

Surdin Dragoncoin’s non- Smoking Jacket - Dragoncoin’s wife made this cloak for him to wear on his frequent trips to sell alchemist’s fire to the Dwarves.

Tailecus’ Retarius - This amazing retarius was gifted to the legendary gladiator Tailecus by his Emperor, the finest his craftspeople could create!

The Blown Bender - This Horn of Reverse Gravity was created by a succubus in an effort to liven up orgies.

The Cuffed Carousal - These Dimensional Shackles were created by a succubus in an effort to liven up orgies.

Tiara of Bast - This elegant piece was lovingly crafted by the virgin priestess Zai-Ghee of Bast.

Uri’s Urgency - Crafted by the mad-Orc Uri-Uri, this armour serves as a fine example of what an Orc is capable of, when they turn their mind to it.

Uskine’s Easel - Little is known about the beautiful artist Uskine. She vanished mysteriously, leaving only 3 portraits of herself, each from a different angle.

Voltaire’s Slippers - The mage Voltaire has long since been forgotten by everyone, except the small village where he was born. They still hold a fete every year in his honor.

What the Nymph Saw - Made famous by the adventuring Nymph Oawe, these goggles were originally intended to help the Dwarves in their battles against their Duergar cousins.

Withered Hand of Chezeraat - This is the genuine mummified hand of the half-Dragon Chezeraat the Despoiler.

Greg, man, your stuff is always the best!

I can't help but relate a tale of a CtD game we played through in response to the most-Matrix, nWoD world we currently live in. The public's imagination had been fired up and glamour was flowing pretty freely. But there was an unfortunate side effect of numerous chimera wandering around in dark glasses and leather coats trying to start bullet-ballets and kung-fu hustles.

My players wet themselves laughing when, during their first battle in the dreaming, this chimera started bending backward and slowly flailing his arms around in the middle of the fight. "Is he casting a spell?" "What's going on?" "I hide behind my shield!" *penny drops* *laughter for 10 minutes real time*

The troupe just walked off and left him to it, flailing away....

The Terminator movies have always had a strong role for the girls. Hell, Sarah Connor is almost single handedly responsible for kicking off strong action women (obviously along with Ellen Ripley from Alien). The sequels did a good job keeping this alive, with Sarah returning in full force for T2, and the character of Kate in T3, plus the new model of terminator being a woman too - women kicking ass on both sides of the conflict. However, watching the blatant sexism in Terminator Salvation (T4) was painful and made me embarrassed 1) as a man, 2) as a human being, 3) for the movie's writers, and 4) for chief offending actress, Moon Bloodgood.

Her character Blair Williams, is a tough no-nonsense, competent fighter pilot. That I'm on board with. But let's just take a look at what happens to her character. She almost gets raped, putting up enough of a fight for testosterone-fulled men to get just a little excited and to claim it's not sexism because she tries to fight back. Then she gets saved by a big strong man. Then she, out of nowhere, after a night in the wilderness, decides she loves this man. Proceeds to risk the entire human race to help him escape, only to be saved, once again, by the big strong man, after being shot. Then, captured, she is only capable of giving an emotional response as the reason for her actions (the pre-feminist woman is an emotional creature, as well we all know), before being saved by another big strong man, who lets her off the hook.

The character of John's wife, is exactly that - John's wife. The Kate Brewster/Connor character from T3 has been replaced by a stereotypical "woman in the home". She doesn't fight in the war, she stays safely back at the base, worrying about how her husband is doing. When she does get into the thick of the action, she helps a wounded soldier, before giving up on him at the first sight of her wounded husband.

To be blunt - this is *bleep* awful from a franchise that has always done a good job with it's female characters. The spin-off TV show was even called the "Sarah Connor Chronicles", not the "John Connor Chronicles". This is 2009, not 1989 - even Bonnie Bedelia in "Die Hard" has got more girl power!