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Owl

stowcreek's page

23 posts. 1 review. No lists. No wishlists. 1 alias.


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Is it me, or has the bend towards NOT overusing the "of the" in a title sometimes NOT make sense? Now I am not a grammar master, but I have been around a literary block or two. I know what sounds good (to me of course).

This title would be better if it WERE called "The Tomb of the Forgotten King." I know this sounds a bit tired, but that is mainly b/c of the use of the words "Tomb" and "King" - many titles have something similar - "Tomb..." this and "King..." that, so maybe THAT is where the effort should have been spent to be creative. This way the editor/writer would not have had to (my guess) purposefully say, "Let's avoid the 'of the' in this title by. . . ."

I think that's silly. The focus of this adventure sounds like it is a TOMB, NOT the KING. Therefore the SUBJECT should be the TOMB and not the KING. And again, it just rolls more smoothly and sounds better as "The Tomb of the Forgotten King" than as "The Forgotten King's Tomb." You??

Besides, I think we need to watch our overuse of apostrophes in titles.

Fight the Title Police!!


Could anyone tell me how one would get in touch with michael fall - the artist who did the cover?


Thomas LeBlanc wrote:

I am currently in Afghanistan, living in a tent. The good part is I got upgraded from a cot to a bed for X-mas! Google docs site is blocked and the firewall prevents up/down loading. My wife is a blessing and sends me my subscription PDFs on a disk once a month. Not nearly as good as opening my white envelope from Paizo. But the disk comes in a box with peach rings and other goodies, so all is not lost...

Whoa! That's dedication.

Of course, I assume you are not on a camping trip. . .

Stay safe. I hope the only danger you experience is in Golarion while playing Pathfinder with some of your buddies (if you are able to).


Ian Eastmond wrote:

Wow Kenneth.T.Cole, major kudos to you for compiling all of that data, much appreciated and admired!

Contrary to what I wrote, I believe that the opinion of anyone who has the guts to share any personal idea in a public forum (especially this place, which has become something of a cyber-sanctuary to me), "professional" or not, is just as valuable as the opinion of any of the RPG Superstar judges or anyone else who I may have thought "matters". Implying that anyone else is less important than I am in any way is one of the...

Well. . . since you asked so nicely. . .

I am not sure if I am actually a good judge (some of the Items the real judges liked, I did not, and vice versa), but I'll give it a go.

I def like your idea.
But I agree with Seabyrn that your item is trying to do too much.
One of the things I have been picking up from the pros is that we need to make it tight and focused. I think they would use the work "unfocused" for this.

I think you should have gotten rid of 2 of the 4 abilities in the middle paragraph. Maybe focused on the breathing underwater and speaking a language. Not sure I like the gill slits for breathing tho. Maybe it should be done "magically" by needing to breath through the conch itself (same with speaking one of the languages) (???)

I like the chitonous growth idea as well. But I think it may lead to some questions. You say they they form all over the body but does that mean the clothing or armor, or only over the skin?

I also believe the pros may mention some grammatical errors. Make sure you use commas between more than one adjective. This happens several times. I would also have used the word "yet" or "but" instead of the word "and" before the "hard as steel".

Some of this is minor of course, but in this competition. . . .
I do think you have some creativity in you however. Don't give up.

Would you please let me know what you think of mine (as well as anyone else reading this and willing to do so), and be absolutely honest in your critique. Thanks!

The Book of Beast and Brute:
THE BOOK OF BEAST AND BRUTE
Aura ; CL th
Slot —; Price 25,000 gp; Weight
DESCRIPTION
This slight, leather-bound notebook, is the size of a small spellbook. Inside are 3d6 pages of thin and translucent paper. If one is removed, crumpled, and the command word spoken followed by the elvish name of a monster or beast of 1st level from the summon monster or natures ally charts, it grows and metamorphoses from that paper within one round. This can only be accomplished by the person who ripped out the page, and if within 60 feet of the paper. Neither the paper, nor the created creature, has to be within visual or aural range of the user. The creation has the appearance of parchment, yet retains all characteristics of its original type. It will obey the user as if summoned. Any fire related damage inflicted upon it is doubled. Removing more pages, crumpled together, allows for a higher level creature to be produced, one level per page. For each level the creature is over the user’s level, there is a 15% chance it will turn on the user. Each creature lasts for 14 rounds, or until “killed,” at which point it harmlessly explodes in a cloud of confetti. As long as a page is left, any creature(s) can be made permanent by folding the book’s covers backwards, breaking the binding, and thereby destroying it’s magical properties. If the paper is enclosed in a space smaller than the created creature, it applies 2d6 points of damage per level to the enclosure as it transforms. If this was unsuccessful, it returns to its paper form, now useless. Rippling and crumpling a page takes 1 round. A crumpled paper can be successfully thrown no more than 30 feet.
CONSTRUCTION
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, passwall, transmute metal to wood; Cost 12,500 gp


Neil Spicer wrote:
markofbane wrote:
Neil is still jumping in regularly to provide more feedback....In the meantime, I'm finding the feedback on the other items quite intriguing to read through.

Well done, Mark.

. . . .
Now, I've done all I can to be up front about this, but I want to reiterate one more time. I'm not going to make it through all the items posted here. I'm nuts for doing these long feedback responses anyway. Sean and Mark are right to show you what we discussed during the sorting. I'm just trying to pick and choose a few to serve up some additional lessons that we didn't have time to discuss or post while we were madly trying to sort things into the Keep or Reject pile.

--Neil

Neil, thanks for ALL this effort for those of us unsuccessful in this contest thus far. It is understandable that you are not able to critique all of our items this way. Is it possible for you (or other judges) to go through the list (maybe the one Ken Cole created) and only do the ones that were "kept" or even of those, the ones that were even closer? If not this, possibly simply copy his list and put an asterisk next to the ones that made the keep folder?

It is not a review, but it could at least tell those so marked that they "had the idea", and those not that they really must "pick up their game" for next year.

Whatever the case, thanks!


Kenneth.T.Cole wrote:
vash wrote:
does anybody happen to have a checklist of the items in this thread and which ones have been reviewed?
For your use. Following is a list of all items posted to date, and which Judge has responded. Please remember that Mark and Sean are posting for ALL judges comments from the judging booth.

Thanks for figuring and posting these Ken!


Steven T. Helt wrote:

I thought I had something really exciting this year. I need everyone's help learning why some of the successful items made it and I continue not to. Do I get magic items, or not?

Scabbard of the False Peace
Aura moderate conjuration; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 18,100 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
This handsome leather scabbard changes shape and size to accommodate any slashing melee weapon. Commonly, subtle decorations on the scabbard contain a command word, which activates the sheath's properties and reveals them to the new owner. The scabbard recognizes the last wearer to pronounce the command word as its current owner.
The scabbard of the false peace includes a thick, knotted thong for peace-bonding. A wearer who has spoken the command word at least once may draw any weapon contained within the scabbard as a free action, whether the peace-bond has been affixed or not. Anyone testing the peace bond by attempting to draw the weapon must succeed in a DC 25 Strength check. Untying the knotted thong without whispering the command word requires a DC 20 Disable Device check.
Once per day, the current owner of the scabbard may call the sheath (and any weapon contained within it) to his side from any location, so long as both owner and scabbard are on the same plane. Activating this ability is a swift action that requires use of the command word. The weapon may still be drawn as a free action in the same round it is summoned.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, arcane lock, teleport; Cost 9,050 gp

I think it is b/c you used the work "thong" in a wondrous item ....

just kidding.

I like the concept, but I had to read it several times to understand how it may work (that may be my own lack of knowledge however). For example, I do not know what "peace-bonding" means.
I was also not sure how it works in terms of sounding like it "stores" weapons in it, but at the same time takes the shape of any edged weapon placed in it. Again, I may just be obtuse. This item also seemed vaguely familiar, as if I read of another item similar to it over the competitions.

Anyway, sorry you didnt make it. I am sure that must be frustrating, even more so for you, since you have already proven that you are able to produce for Paizo.

Would you be willing to tell me what you think of my item? It is back on page 11 or so, but I will reproduce it here for you (hope you or no one else minds that). Even just a few words help. Thanks.

The Book of Beast and Brute
Aura; Moderate Transmutation CL 9
Price 25,000 gp Weight 1 lb.
Description
The book of beast and brute is a small, leather-bound book with nine blank, almost membranous pages. Removing and crumpling one, and speaking the command word, allows the character to select any creature from the 1st level summon monster or nature’s ally charts, which grows from the paper in one round. The character must speak the words within 24 hours and 45 feet of the paper, but is not required to be within visual or aural range. The creature is parchment, but retains all the characteristics of its normal type. It obeys the character’s simple commands. Any fire or water related attack does double damage to it. Removing more pages allows for the creation of creatures from the higher-level summoning lists, one level per page crumpled together. However, for each level over the character, there is a 15% chance it attacks her. If the paper is in an enclosed space that would not normally accommodate the creature, it breaks through anything with a Break DC of 23 or less. Not meeting this benchmark means it becomes worthless paper. Each creature lasts for 20 minutes before returning to its original crumpled-paper state, now useless. As long as there exists in the book a number of pages equal to the total levels of creatures already created, they can be made permanent by breaking the book’s binding, thereby destroying its magical properties. Killed creatures explode harmlessly into confetti. One page is removed and crumpled in one round, two to five pages together in two rounds, and more than six pages in three rounds. Balled-up paper has a range increment of 10 feet.
Construction Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, polymorph any object, permanency;
Cost 12,500 gp


I know there are many on this thread (whether posting or not - and I post very little) that are very appreciative of the time the judges (and others) take to critique our items. I personally do not understand how you are able, or why, you would do it. But thanks!


Please provide feedback for my item below. Thanks!

The Book of Beast and Brute
Aura; Moderate Transmutation CL 9
Price 25,000 gp Weight 1 lb.
Description
The book of beast and brute is a small, leather-bound book with nine blank, almost membranous pages. Removing and crumpling one, and speaking the command word, allows the character to select any creature from the 1st level summon monster or nature’s ally charts, which grows from the paper in one round. The character must speak the words within 24 hours and 45 feet of the paper, but is not required to be within visual or aural range. The creature is parchment, but retains all the characteristics of its normal type. It obeys the character’s simple commands. Any fire or water related attack does double damage to it. Removing more pages allows for the creation of creatures from the higher-level summoning lists, one level per page crumpled together. However, for each level over the character, there is a 15% chance it attacks her. If the paper is in an enclosed space that would not normally accommodate the creature, it breaks through anything with a Break DC of 23 or less. Not meeting this benchmark means it becomes worthless paper. Each creature lasts for 20 minutes before returning to its original crumpled-paper state, now useless. As long as there exists in the book a number of pages equal to the total levels of creatures already created, they can be made permanent by breaking the book’s binding, thereby destroying its magical properties. Killed creatures explode harmlessly into confetti. One page is removed and crumpled in one round, two to five pages together in two rounds, and more than six pages in three rounds. Balled-up paper has a range increment of 10 feet.
Construction Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, polymorph any object, permanency;
Cost 12,500 gp


Clark, please provide feedback for my item below (submitted here sans Codes). I would like it from anyone else as well. Thanks!

KEY OF OPPORTUNISTIC PASSAGE
Aura strong transmutation; CL 13th
Slot —; Price 25,000 gp; Weight —
DESCRIPTION
The Key of Opportunistic Passage is a deceptively simple, and miniature, silver key, which would appear suitable for unlocking some princess’s diary. However in truth, its original purpose and power was to enable her to slip secretly away from her family’s palace, and rendezvous with a forbidden love.
When the Key is placed (only) against a natural or creature-made wall, floor, or ceiling, and the command word spoken, it becomes connected to that surface. A Key so placed is removed with a DC 28 Strength check, or by again speaking the command.
Functionally, the Key is first turned to the right. Each rotation increases the height and width of an eventual passage by one foot. Secondly, the Key is turned leftwards. Each revolution hence enlarges the depth of the passage by two feet in plaster, one foot in wood, six inches in stone, and three inches in metal (with a new rotation needed when entering new material). Lastly, the Key is again spun rightwards. Each turn thusly results in the passageway enduring for one round. Speaking the command word again releases the Key and creates the passage (with the Key’s position the lower left corner).
As a princess may often be, the Key is likewise fickle and reticent in nature. Each of 6d6+4 turns per day (a number known only by the GM, and renewed at midnight) contribute to a passage. Any turn beyond that number is possible, but unrealized.
Anything within the corridor at the time of its conclusion is cast out the exit where the passage was created.
One can reasonably turn the Key three times per round.
CONSTRUCTION
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, passwall, transmute metal to wood; Cost 12,500 gp


I submitted The Key of Opportunistic Passage (shown below without Codes)for everyone's perusal and comment - please). Thanks!

KEY OF OPPORTUNISTIC PASSAGE
Aura strong transmutation; CL 13th
Slot —; Price 25,000 gp; Weight —
DESCRIPTION
The Key of Opportunistic Passage is a deceptively simple, and miniature, silver key, which would appear suitable for unlocking some princess’s diary. However in truth, its original purpose and power was to enable her to slip secretly away from her family’s palace, and rendezvous with a forbidden love.
When the Key is placed (only) against a natural or creature-made wall, floor, or ceiling, and the command word spoken, it becomes connected to that surface. A Key so placed is removed with a DC 28 Strength check, or by again speaking the command.
Functionally, the Key is first turned to the right. Each rotation increases the height and width of an eventual passage by one foot. Secondly, the Key is turned leftwards. Each revolution hence enlarges the depth of the passage by two feet in plaster, one foot in wood, six inches in stone, and three inches in metal (with a new rotation needed when entering new material). Lastly, the Key is again spun rightwards. Each turn thusly results in the passageway enduring for one round. Speaking the command word again releases the Key and creates the passage (with the Key’s position the lower left corner).
As a princess may often be, the Key is likewise fickle and reticent in nature. Each of 6d6+4 turns per day (a number known only by the GM, and renewed at midnight) contribute to a passage. Any turn beyond that number is possible, but unrealized.
Anything within the corridor at the time of its conclusion is cast out the exit where the passage was created.
One can reasonably turn the Key three times per round.
CONSTRUCTION
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, passwall, transmute metal to wood; Cost 12,500 gp


I do not comment a lot, but I do read much on these messageboards.
Neil is incredibly generous with his time, knowledge and help.
We would be a lot poorer without him. Thanks for helping us!


I have really enjoyed Paizo's Pathfinder products.

However, I have a slight concern with some Editorial issues with "Howl" particularly after reading just a little bit of it this far.

The two inconsistencies I have discovered thus far are nothing major, but something I would think should be "ferreted" out prior to publishing.

On p10 it describes Father Zastoran as a red-headed halfling, while he is distinctly not that as described on p12.

On p13, Almah's reaction to the death of her astrologer is described as showing "remarkably little concern.... as a loss of resources than a personal tragedy." Whereas interviewing her after the accident (p14) states that she is "distraght at [his] death".

These are inconsistencies I would prefer be dealt with through the intentions of the author and the editors, than by myself.

Again. That being said, I am still very much enjoying the reading of the adventure.


What fun this all has been. Thanks for those of you assisting me with my "angst."

After extensive ruminations and even a little re-chewing of cud, I am deciding to vote for Eric's "Mammoths."

All of them certainly have talent and I would take a close look at any of their modules.

However, I do indeed have a special place in my heart for Eric and Neil.

Thanks to Paizo and the judges for a great contest!


Thanks for your suggestions and observations.
I will ruminate between Eric and Neil over the weekend and vote on Monday.


I am in a serious dilemma. Eric's "Last Ride" is definately my favorite and I would normally simply vote for him. However, I can only judge his proposal on it's IDEAS, the imagery it creates, and the "coolness" of it. I am a poor judge when it comes to what would work well in a Pathfinder 32-page module or the (dry) "mechanics" of an adventure. I have to bow to the true judges experience for that. And they seem to agree that it should NOT be Eric. I do like Neil's "Realm" the next best (Eric's 9 out of 10 to Neil's 7). I am trying to decide if the Judges opinion should be worth enough to override Eric's lead in my mind. I have the tendency to think it should. Of the previous Lairs, I also far more enjoyed Eric's "Sanctum" than Neil's "Playhouse." Previous to that however, I did not like Eric's "Vashkar", but really enjoyed Neil's "Gulga."
I need some respectable's RPGers opinion on my ANGST.


I agree that "not voting for your favorite(s) because [insert reason here]" is actually inappropriate and clearly dangerous.

Add to that the danger (I believe) of these exit polls (although I still like them). For instance, someone sees that 22 Paper Street is clearly getting lots of votes and is heading for an easy first place, so, thinking it should certainly still make Top 4, they decide to take their vote out of Paper Street(and maybe not record doing so here in this thread) in order to give it to another of their favorites that is close to Top 4. This is obviously risky.

Now I do not know how many votes Paizo receives (nor how many folks record their votes here in this thread), but I would hazard a guess that the percentage lead that Paper Street shows in this thread will be greater than the actual lead it finally holds over the others (if it does).

My tarnished 2 cents anyway.


For some reason, I was not really into this one the initial round, and did not vote for him. However, I do quite like it now.

I also quite appreciate the simplicity of just a human wizard compared to all the this-that-theotherthing combinations of most of the others.
May get my vote this time.


Not really understanding stat blocks well, I have to base my opinions more on ideas, flavor, writing, interest, and judges comments. I really like the concept here. The previous incarnation did not get my vote, but this one may.


Thanks for doing this as well Sean!
This is mine as submitted.

Bard’s Army Sack

Moderate Transmutation, Illusion CL 11
Price: 19,000gp Weight: varies

This colorful, cloth sack is tightly cinched with a braided, leather cord. Jumbled inside are 2d4 (holds 10) beautiful, wooden marionettes (Tiny) with carved, sharp points for hands. Once/day when dumped out en masse they clatter upright and perform their master’s bidding (11 rounds). They follow one, specific verbal instruction at a time. Serving (any Class) like a “massed” Familiar, they stay together. No Intelligence. Improved Evasion. Share Spells (affects all puppets). Touch. Range: 210 feet. HD = master’s level. HP = ½ master’s divided among the puppets (5 hardness each). AC 16 +1/every 2 master’s levels (a Hit throws it 10 feet away). Attacks (+1) and Saving Throws = master’s base bonus (one roll/2 puppets). Damage: 1d4/2 puppets +1/2 master levels. Movement: 30ft. When the master wishes, his voice can eerily emanate from the opening mouths of all puppets. If out of range or “killed” it falls limp. Placed in the Sack, puppets are “mended” over 24 hours (irreparable if below -10). New puppets can be created (new characteristics?) with appropriate Craft Skill.

Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, Animate Objects, Haste, Ventriloquism, Mend, Craft 10,
Cost 9,500


I sadly admit that I was quite depressed by being unable to appreciate most of the villains. I would go from one to the next with a common, internal refrain being(as the saying goes) MEH.
There were really only 5 or 6 I considered.
A number of others DID get my anticipation going at first, but for one reason (or several) or the other, I was let down, saggin in my chair, by the end.

However, that being said (probably better in the "impressions" thread), I did enjoy more completely:

- Aelfric
- The Count
- Gulga and
- Bracht

On another note, I know many of us that entered with our wondrous items started our villain creation (I put many hours of thought, just in case. . .). Can we make a thread to post our "Not-Top-32 Villains" to be shared and critiqued by whomever?

I would be willing, even if I end up wanting to use it next year (who would steal something that is already spelled out in detail in a thread? AND it can help folks know if there is going to be something similar, so they can make appropriate adjustments. AND one can be helped into perfecting their villain for said future entry.) ???


Clark, other judges, and the great folks here, would any of you please provide any feedback/comments about my submitted item? Thanks so much for doing this for so many!

Bard’s Army Sack

Moderate Transmutation, Illusion CL 11
Price: 19,000gp Weight: varies

This colorful, cloth sack is tightly cinched with a braided, leather cord. Jumbled inside are 2d4 (holds 10) beautiful, wooden marionettes (Tiny) with carved, sharp points for hands. Once/day when dumped out en masse they clatter upright and perform their master’s bidding (11 rounds). They follow one, specific verbal instruction at a time. Serving (any Class) like a “massed” Familiar, they stay together. No Intelligence. Improved Evasion. Share Spells (affects all puppets). Touch. Range: 210 feet. HD = master’s level. HP = ½ master’s divided among the puppets (5 hardness each). AC 16 +1/every 2 master’s levels (a Hit throws it 10 feet away). Attacks (+1) and Saving Throws = master’s base bonus (one roll/2 puppets). Damage: 1d4/2 puppets +1/2 master levels. Movement: 30ft. When the master wishes, his voice can eerily emanate from the opening mouths of all puppets. If out of range or “killed” it falls limp. Placed in the Sack, puppets are “mended” over 24 hours (irreparable if below -10). New puppets can be created (new characteristics?) with appropriate Craft Skill.

Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, Animate Objects, Haste, Ventriloquism, Mend, Craft 10,
Cost 9,500


I also have not found it. Help!

Cainus wrote:

I'm looking in the magic item creation rules and table 17-2 is referenced but I'm not certain where it is.

It's also late and my brain is foggy, so I might've seen it twice and missed it.

Any help is appreciated, thanks.


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