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Shelyn

lynora's page

13,138 posts (36,119 including aliases). No reviews. No lists. 1 wishlist. 82 aliases.


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Congratulations, HD. :)


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Orthos wrote:
Drejk wrote:
Orthos wrote:

Nah, you're fine =) I know my sleeping patterns are unusual, so I'm kind of used to having to explain the situation a little. No offense taken.

My normal up-time is 7. This week however it's 5 - 6 is when I have to be at the office >_<

What is unusual about your sleep patterns?!
Apparently being unable to fall asleep until midnight or later is considered strange by the majority of the population. Who'd'a thunk?

See, I think they're weird for going to bed so early. But then I'm another night owl and have learned to function on very little sleep when I am forced to get up before the hideous light of the day star crosses the horizon. And I see nothing natural about this whole diurnal business...especially when it starts about the time I want to be going to bed. :)


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Pillbug Toenibbler wrote:
Drejk wrote:
How is that FAWTLies don't have their own jet yet? I could fly from Norwich directly to Kraków without bothering of getting ticket, going to London and all that crap...
Wonder Lynora had an invisible jet, but I forgot where I valet parked it.

This is the problem with invisible jets. Next time we put the lojack on the jet before we park it...er...not that there's going to be a next time...because I absolutely don't have an invisible jet or a super secret identity as a supervillian...er...hero....I meant hero....of course...heh heh.......... ;P


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Female awww, but that would be telling unknown

Besides, Abaddon doesn't want this either. Nobody wants Ephebe back in the realm of infernal/abyssal/daemonic politics. They just got rid of her! ;P


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Yuugasa, it's always good to know that you're not the only one to go through something. And sometimes it's nice to not have someone think I'm unnatural because I'm not close to my family. And glad you appreciated the snark. ^.^

Odraude, I love that quote. I definitely wish I had figured that out earlier in life. It would have saved me a lot of grief.


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Yuugasa wrote:

Has anyone else here grown up in a fundamentalist religious family? If so how do you deal with them? (assuming your beliefs are different and also assuming you haven't been kicked out or that you do actually deal with them at all)

At this point all I got is be polite and don't say anything that will start an argument unless it's actually important.

Yep. I'm not on the best of terms with most of them. I already spent too much of my life trying to be something I'm not and I'm done with that. (Because teaching someone to hate themself does not actually create a loophole in that whole love your neighbor as yourself thing. Really.) And they're not too willing to deal with that. Seriously, you'd have thought that I confessed to being a serial killer or something. Being bi isn't that bad. :/

And I know from how they've treated other family members in the past that they say all kinds of bad stuff about me behind my back. And I realized that not only did I not need the judgement that I didn't need the negativity. So I'm actually happier not being around them. Sometimes I have to be and on those occasions I try to be polite, but also keep my distance. There's no point in arguing with them. Unless they're being evil to my kid. I refuse to be non-confrontational about that.
That said, my sisters are actually cool about the whole thing. It's hard on the youngest because she gets caught in the middle cause she's the 'good' sister (still goes to church, doesn't drink, etc, etc), but she's actually never been anything but loving and accepting towards me. Even when they give her a hard time. So not all of my family sucks.


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Kidlet is being a little angel today. This is....unexpected. But not unappreciated.


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Happy Birthday, Icy. :)


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Bob_Loblaw wrote:
I have a friend who has a swimming pool and she wants me to visit as Cindy. I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to buying clothes and even less with swimsuits. This will be interesting.

Just remember, dressing room mirrors flatter no one. Says the girl whose ideal swimsuit is a long sleeve swim shirt and board shorts...I am way too white to be showing half as much skin as most swimsuits show. Pale skin + sunshine = Owowowowowowwww. :P

In all seriousness, don't let swimsuit shopping get you too down. And I recommend Walmart. They have a surprisingly good selection.


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*waves* Hello. It's been a while since I actually posted here. Time to fix that.

Kidlet had his belt promotion at karate today. He is now a gold belt. :)

And I went to the farmers market. Got lots of yummy produce.

And later today there will be gaming. All in all, a good day.


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Treisdan Achdarach wrote:
I haven't been acting out... I'm in a good mood and Miss Jones is stuck in the 1400's

On which calendar? I'm not sure if that is supposed to be old, current, or future....

#ImmortalProblems


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Image
Casseus Rex wrote:
"Can either one of you trace teleports?"

Jeran shifted back to humanoid and spat as much ichor out of his mouth as he could manage.

"Don't know much about magic. Do either of you know how to close those portals?" he asked before spitting again. "Gah. I don't suppose anyone has any mouthwash?"


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Squee! :D

This news pretty much makes my month. The kidlet is gonna be over the moon when I tell him. Pacific Rim is our favorite movie. :)


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Female awww, but that would be telling unknown

I am AFK for most of today, but real quick, a few things to be dealt with more in depth later.

Cap, gonna send you a PM later.

General: asking questions about a build is okay, but do try to keep the snark under control so as not to be mean please. Tact is always appreciated, thanks.

Iolth, there are so many things wrong with your last post I don't know where to start. Everyone, please ignore Iolths last post. Iolth, PM incoming later.

All, please pay attention to the game as much as you can and when uncertain of things like time, scenes in progress, and game history please ask.


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Adon Derro wrote:
narrator wrote:
"To be entirely fair, we all cheat. Blatantly." ~Fortunato, Patron of Luck
"Then how on earth did you decide that destruction and balance were bad enough that they needed to die? And even if it wouldn't do anything, pissing her off still seems like the right way to go."

"But, child, this is how the game is played. And we only dislike Destruction because if you let too much accumulate then the game ends and nobody wants that. Balance...well...there's no game at all if you have Balance. That's all there is to it. But with an attitude like your, you're sure to make a useful pawn for someone..."


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kitsune:

So the variant version lets you also have full fox form in addition to human and anthropomorphic fox.
Typically a kitsune will have only one tail for their first century of life. (Keme is kinda a freak in this regards since he's 17 and has five tails.) Tails are generally about age rather than hit dice here.
Base speed of 40 ft plus 100 ft fly.
DR 5/magic
Lowlight plus darkvision 120 ft, blindsense 60ft
immunity to sleep, paralysis, and electricity
+3 nat armor bonus
SR 16
Bite (1d4) and two claws (1d3) instead of just bite
Can communicate telepathically (the format for this is to use ::text:: instead of "text" as you would for speaking out loud)
Spider climb as a constant
SLA: Arcane mark, dimension door (3/day), obscuring mist, dispel magic, invisibility (at will); DC = 10+Cha mod+ spell level
Can cast illusion, enchantment, and divination spells as a 5th level sorcerer.
Immune to spells that can locate them (versus mortal magics), objects in their possession not immune.

Obviously this variant is significantly more powerful than the Pathfinder version. But this is what we've been using since before the PF version came out. So it's available for your use if you want, CK. If you don't then you'll just be considered really weak in comparison to the other native kitsune. Could make that part of his story if you wanted.


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Serrin Surya wrote:

Serrin barks a cruel laugh at Archena "Great, just great, my cousin appears to be one of those unfortunates that suffers from the dangerous mental condition, 'more than happy' She says suppressing a mock shudder.

"Look, he isn't worth being friends with. Anybody who homes in on a noble like some well trained pet, doesn't deserve to know me, let alone befriend me."

"Hey, now! That's just not right! I'm an equal opportunity flirt! Not my fault most of the girls in this group are noble," Etain said with a shrug, and a carefree smile.


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Iolth Taknith wrote:

The tiefling blinks for a moment, then abruptly kips up from the bed. "Ugh. Kaetar, my head pounds and I have a blank spot. So, care to fill me in? Last thing I remember, I was torching an orc army. Wait, no, let me guess-I lost control, blew the orcs and half a city block to smithereens, and some idiots decided to come after me with a vengeance and I refused to fight back. Is that about it? Because that's the formula that these incidents seem to follow..."

Kaetar shakes her head and sighs. "Yup, that's pretty much exactly what happened. This time, I 'ported you about halfway across the world. And, to this place for a very specific reason. It's called Avalon, a school for kids with... powers like yours."

Shaking his head, the tiefling turns the group gathered around him. "Well, since apparently Kaetar 'ported me to a school, I might as well make some introductions-and maybe even some friends. My name is Iolth, and, in case you haven't surmised that already, I'm a catastrophe waiting to happen. And this fine young lady-" Iolth turns around and quickly pecks Kaetar on the cheek-"is Kaetar, my girlfriend, and former celestial spirit. Out of curiosity, how structurally sound is this school? Simply, unless it can contain enough magical energy to blow apart a keep within a matter of hours... I probably shouldn't stay here." Iolth gives a sheepish smile and rubs his hair.

"Just a keep? Is that all? Yeah, you'll be fine," he said from the doorway. "So, what's your story?" he asked warily.

Spoiler:
What does Scent tell him about this new guy?


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Female awww, but that would be telling unknown
"Ace" wrote:

As I said to David, this whole situation with Wombat has really annoyed and seriously frustrated me. Not only did he kinda violate our privacy, by showing the whole school our duel, but then he randomly decided to end the fight, just because he personally didn't like what was going on.

Now, I get it, he's a teacher, its within his rights, but he completely refused to talk OOC with David and I about, thus pretty much forcing our PCs to do what he wanted, regardless of what we ourselves wanted.

Its kinda taken me out of having any desire to continue this entire scene at this point.

Sometimes when we plan out a scene things happen differently than we might expect. Other players don't react as we might expect. This can be upsetting. But it's also when the best story happens. You feel frustrated. So does your character. Use that. Write out how he feels. Have him walk away frustrated if that's what works for you.


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Female awww, but that would be telling unknown

Yay! Thanks, MG! This will definitely be helpful in building this not so usual character. :)

And now I have to get some sleep.


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Female awww, but that would be telling unknown

Holy crap. o.O

Teach me to spend my weekend grocery shopping and spending time with the kidlet...

Who I just introduced to the wonders of Babylon 5. He's seen two episodes and thinks it's fantastic. :)


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I have graduation in the morning...finally finished with my associate's degree. :)

To celebrate, we're going to see Godzilla afterwards....everything is better with kaiju. :D


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Hestia Svarog wrote:
narrator wrote:
"You alright, sis?" Solus asked quietly from where he had been silently observing what was going on.

"Yeah, I'm fine... Slept in too late, it seems. What's going on?"

hiesta cheers up a little, seeing a friendly face.

"He is offering to take anyone who wants to enroll in the school over to Avalon," he said, nodding towards Sorchan. "It's not a bad offer. They're going to get tired of having us all under foot sooner rather than later. Especially our family...there's so many of us. Lucas went to inquire what the proper procedure was for enrollment...apparently Lily is being a brat about the accommodations...predictable really."


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This was a pretty good day. Kidlet made a Mother's Day card for me, we had a monster movie marathon (Godzilla vs Mothra, Godzilla: King of All Monsters, a little bit of King Kong before we got bored and moved on, and Pacific Rim), and had dinner at my favorite restaurant. :)


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Female awww, but that would be telling unknown

Aaaaugh! This has just continued to steamroll into quite possibly most frustrating convo ever because every time I turn around there is yet another layer that has to be addressed/argued to death/nailed down and I really wasn't trying to write a whole freaking campaign setting book. :(

Re: Good/Evil
I don't go for absolutes. I don't really care for the alignment system in the first place. I've run afoul of it due to misunderstandings in the past and I find that it can act as a veritable straightjacket when it comes to character growth. As far as Outsiders with evil or good subtypes go, I consider them to have free will, but the deck is stacked one way or the other. Angels can make a choice that causes them to fall, but it would be very difficult for them to fight their nature in order to make that choice. Ditto but reversed for demons/devils. And somewhere around the time I made Hope a Big Bad y'all should have figured out that I like to play around with good and evil so that it's not all clear-cut and simple. That's just no fun. Not following normal expectations...that's way more fun.


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Image
Krays wrote:
Keme Tokala wrote:

Whoops. Missed the change in venue. Then yes, it happens in the classroom.

The five-tailed fox steps the rest of the way out of the shadows and changes into a teenage boy.

"I was hoping you'd be willing to share information," he said, leaning nonchalantly against a desk, hands in his pockets. "I've been investigating Kitty's murder and I've hit a dead end. I staked out the infirmary for hours in case this guy struck again. So I heard about the new victim. I just want as much information as I can get so I can find the bastard who did this," he ended with a slight growl, obviously taking the investigation very personally.

"Ahh, Keme. I'm glad to see you well. Now, would you be asking for the purposes of justice, or vengeance?"

There was a long pause as Keme thought about the answer to that question.

"Yes," he said.


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Female awww, but that would be telling unknown

The best lie is the truth. Just ask Nala. Fey in this setting can't actually lie. They have pretty well mastered the art of lying without lying. Growing up in the Winter Queen's court, Nala is pretty good at this too.


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GreyWolfLord, I think that you are now making huge assumptions about where people are coming from that don't really take into account their possible histories. I was raised in a Christian conservative family. I know I'm not the only one here who comes from a religious background. You talk about understanding, but sometimes what seems like flippant dismissal to you comes from a place of understanding. I understand where the fundamentalist Christian viewpoint is coming from. I've studied the Bible quite a lot (and came to some different conclusions regarding how certain words/phrases are translated and how literally things should be taken than I was taught). I understand what it's like to grow up hating yourself for something that you can't change no matter how hard you try. I understand what it's like to cause a family division just by being. I understand that there are some truly good, compassionate Christians in this world. I also understand that some of the most vicious, petty people I have ever met in my life also call themselves Christians. It would be easy to dismiss the latter as extremists. They're not. They're very, very ordinary and most people would call them moderates. Unless you happen to disagree with them about what color the carpet in the sanctuary should be. Then all bets are off.

Spoiler:
Actually the battle over the carpeting, while bitter, was nothing compared to the battle over the soap dispensers in the church bathroom. That one actually caused a church schism....I take two things away from this. 1. People are weird. 2. In hindsight taking life advice from people who take soap dispensers that seriously wasn't really my brightest moment.

It would be easy to dismiss everything I just said by saying that I'm an outlier or an exception. I'm not. There are plenty of other people with similar experiences. But I can't speak for everyone. I can only speak for me. And I'm tired of even the suggestion that there are reasons worth understanding why someone would hate me for existing. Some things are just wrong and that's enough to be said about it.


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Lavendar tea is actually lavendar. Tea is usually some shade of brown or yellow. Seeing purple tea in my mug is a little weird. I like it. :)


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Female awww, but that would be telling unknown

Dami, the rant was out of line. And not helping. There are several people it can apply to. The problem is that many of them are GMs. And it's mostly me. When I have the time I need for the game I can keep things running at a good pace. When I don't have time, I try to hand things off to FCD and DB3 so things can keep moving. But when they're busy too...well, such is life. This is the best we can do. Deal with it. We're down to the last few things for the game day and it'll be wrapped up soon.

I can understand a little being frustrated with people not keeping track of stuff. I get frustrated with this too when I'm expected to keep track of other people's characters when I can barely keep up with mine. But passive aggressive rants don't solve anything. I don't want to see one again.


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Good luck, Freehold. And glad you got some time to relax yesterday. :)


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Female awww, but that would be telling unknown
Vickory West wrote:

Im dissappointed at the phoenix ruling, I wanted to make a green one called Pyrelight, but stupidity would just be insulting to the original.

I cant play stupid very well anyway, so oh well.

Im curious if the stupity part came from a reference or was just an avalon thing?

Like the others said, these are not the mythical phoenix that would be referred to elsewhere. These are pets of the firebirds. So when I first introduced the firebird race I had a lot of people confusing them with phoenix so I joked that this was a terrible insult to a firebird since the phoenix were their stupid pets. (The firebirds were inspired by a Russian fairy tale in case anyone cares about origins of these ideas.) Anyways, there are mythical phoenix out there somewhere, but they would be quite confusing to people on Agartha who are used to phoenix being something really different. Sort of like meeting an intelligent, powerful alien parakeet.


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Ugh. Worst possible time for time change of course. I always end up in a cranky sleepy daze for like a month after spring time change....and I have an important and difficult final on Monday. >.<

But I knew it had to be coming soon cause I finally got myself fully adjusted from the last time change...that usually happens about two weeks before it changes back. :/

I did a presentation last year for speech class on why daylight savings time was a bad thing. It totally got the rant out of my system. Too bad for my family this year that they don't get a reprieve from the rant about why daylight savings time should be abolished. I have to vent my sleep-deprived rage somewhere. :P


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Thank you, Vivianne and Annabel. Scientific realism may not really be a part of the discussion at large, but understanding what it means and what you were referencing actually clears up a large part of what you were talking about in the first place. Context is very helpful. :)


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Thank you for explaining those terms, Annabel. It does make it easier to understand. I think the most difficult thing about 'jargon' is the times when familiar words are used in unfamiliar ways (like your example above with register). I often have the same problem with business speak. The classic "I know what all those words mean, but not when you use them in that way" response.

Out of curiosity, who/what is Foucalt? I am completely not familiar, so when you talked about something being a Foucaltian term I was curious what that actually meant.


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Okay, so, when it comes to discussions of transgender stuff I've mostly just been reading along and learning as much as I can. Trying to be respectful since I don't really understand, being a cisgender woman. However, at this point I feel like I really need to speak up on behalf of all of us who are just reading along....

Please for the love of whatever it is you find holy, write with clarity and stop it with the academic speak! It's not that your readers aren't bright enough to understand what you're saying. It's that the effort often isn't worth it. Especially when the jargon starts going in circles. At this point I've noticed several people starting to repeat points just to try and establish a point of common agreement or at least confirm that they correctly understood what was being said. What this means is that whatever the point (something about gender binaries being unnecessary in regards to medical terminology I think....my eyes kept glazing over as I tried to read it and I had too much homework to work on to spend that much brainpower on understanding a messageboard conversation) it is being completely lost on your readers. It would be really, really helpful if you would please try and rephrase your ideas to express them with more clarity, more brevity, and in such a way that people from many disparate walks of life can easily understand them. And just to make sure it's explicitly understood, I am using the plural you here. There are several people who are all communicating this same way, so this is not aimed at any one individual.


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In response to Rugg's second question, I've had a couple of trans* characters in my game, and in general I find it best to let the player decide how they want to describe their character's gender. Different players have different ways they're comfortable labeling their character. As in much of gaming, more options are better. :)


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Female awww, but that would be telling unknown
Master Dungeoneer wrote:
lynora wrote:
I still read bedtime stories to the kidlet...he loves it. We're almost through A Hat Full of Sky. Wintersmith comes next. I'm working on getting the kidlet hooked on Pratchett. :)
....will you adopt me?

LOL. Ummm....I think you're a bit old for that.... :D

Now I feel like I should be doing a podcast or something...bedtime stories with Lynora....;P


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Female awww, but that would be telling unknown

Capt, I'm sorry about the wait. I know it can be frustrating when the action stalls out a bit. I feel frustrated that you decided to bring it up in both the recruitment and discussion threads. It was kind of a crappy thing to do. Bring it up in discussion, fine. That's part of what discussion is here for. There's nothing wrong with raising a concern. And then we can discuss it. No problem. But there's no need to raise that concern across multiple threads. That just takes more mop-up time later.
Now, on to the actual concern. Yes, this weekend has taken an incredibly long time to play out. Part of the problem is that it started with a major campaign event. These are pretty rare, and days that they occur on or that directly follow them take a very long time to play, more so than others. Then add in that I had previously scheduled a couple of scenarios for that same time that different people had asked me to run for them, and then the 'crimes of opportunity' as they were, not to mention that the weekend ends with another campaign event....well, this would have taken a very long time to play out under the best of circumstances. When you take into account that a number of the players and the GM are in school and have limited time...well, it's been stretching things a bit, and I am sorry that we're having such a hard time wrapping things up. Once we're through it, we'll be back to our more usual hop-skip-jumping through time (cue the training montage!) between events like we normally do. At this point all I can do is apologize for how long it takes me to get through these scenarios at present. A large part of it is that I am taking a very heavy courseload this term so I can finish out my associates degree. And I'm also trying to figure out schools to apply to so I can get my bachelors degree after this. And find scholarships to apply for, etc. And I still have the mommy stuff to do. And yeah, I'm way short on time. I'm doing my best to keep things going rather than putting the game on hiatus. That's really all I can do. Look around the site and you'll find that this is something that happens to pretty much every PBP GM from time to time. Real life happens. Games slow down. The good ones get going again after real life backs down a little. Now, I can offer you one piece of good news. In about five weeks my courseload gets a lot lighter. My most work intensive class only goes for seven and a half weeks. So that's a little something to look forward to. In the meantime, I promise I am trying to get things moving as fast as I can. Some nights I'm just too tired to think straight and that definitely keeps me from posting. Some nights I'm so bad off I'm looking at my homework and can't figure out if I'm trying to do line commands, physics, or english. :/


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That was awesome Orthos. :)


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Freehold DM wrote:
lynora wrote:
Scintillae wrote:
If English is your first language, once you reach high school, there is absolutely no excuse for its/it's they're/their/there to/too/two, etc.
Well, I can think of one valid excuse. I used to be in a writers group with someone who was very dyslexic. Grammar and spelling escaped her. She wrote the most awesome stories, but no matter how many times I told her that all she focused on were the spelling and grammar corrections. It was so frustrating. And this is part of why I dropped out of that group. I got tired of being the meany editor. Also I discovered that I need a writing partner. Solo projects drive me a bit nutty. Since I didn't have anyone to work with me on stuff I just gave up....and then I discovered PBP. ^.^
for some, spelling and grammar are alien concepts. I've found these to be some of the most verbal people on the face of the earth and thought they would do well in a world where oral stories, not written ones, were the order of the day.

True that....and this is why advances in voice to text technology are a good thing for these people. :)


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Happy birthday, Freehold! :)


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Had my last exam yesterday. So now it's Christmas break. Yay!

Oh, wait....that means I have to tackle this enormous to-do list of things that have been waiting while I was dealing with exams....


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Scintillae wrote:
There will be a duet where one love interest dies, making the other promise to eat them...

...with a tearful reprise asking why they had to be so delicious....


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So many papers....so little time. Finals week sucks. But at least it means this particular term is almost over. :)


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Female awww, but that would be telling unknown

Regarding nanites, as I've said before, the nanites are programmed to the individual patient and the specific illness or injury. This can be a problem if the patient has no information on file about what they're supposed to be like when healthy. Guessing can and does lead to further damage to the patient. The alternative is to give the nanites a measure of intelligence which opens a whole different can of worms. Sometimes guessing is necessary and with known races carries a high degree of success which is often worth the risk. Mel isn't a known race and they've already been given orders not to use nanites on her for this reason.

Anything that contradicts this info can and will be retconned. As you said, Verris is good at his job and I see no reason to frak up the story because I was eating dinner.


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Female awww, but that would be telling unknown

Alright, boys, that's enough of that. In the immortal words of Bill & Ted "Be excellent to each other". ;P

And with that I have to go to class.


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homemade pasty. On the rare occasion that I make them, I always make a lot more than is needed so I can have leftovers for days.


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SnowJade wrote:


I use the one my sister-in-law gave me, and she's gone and taken classes in food chemistry(!). For a 2-crust pie: 2 c flour, 1 tsp salt, mix, add 3 cold tbsp shortening (she uses Crisco. I use Crisco), blend w/pastry blender until you get little pebbles. Add 3 more tbsp shortening, blend, blend, blend until it looks like cornmeal. Add 1 tbsp ice water at a time, using your hand to work the ingredients together until it all forms a ball. Roll out with plenty of flour on a silicone mat, and that gets my SIL fantastic results every time. I've watched her do it. I've done the same damned thing, and I still get cement. *Throws paws up* If you've got a better idea how I could propitiate the Pastry Gods, I'd be thrilled to hear it.

Okay, well, I may not have studied food chemistry, but I do know that flour and water makes great glue. And that recipe looks like too little fat, overworked dough, and too much water to me.

Pastry Recipe:

Basic All-Purpose Flaky Pastry Recipe
from "As Easy as Pie" by Susan G. Purdy, I've typed it out exactly as it appears in the book. OOC comments are mine.

I use one egg yolk plus lemon juice or vinegar as part of the measured liquid to guarantee a tender, easy-to-handle pastry. This is especially important if you have a tendency to overhandle the dough.

Quantity: For one 2-crust 8-or-9-inch pie (with some dough left over for trimming), or one 11-or-12-inch pie or tart shell, or nine 4-inch tartlets.

2 cups all-purpose flour, sifted skip the sifting, I do.
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup unsalted butter, chilled you can use salted butter, but I can't stress enough that it must be cold.
3 T shortening (lard, Crisco, or margarine), chilled can just add more butter, but it will make for difficult dough to roll out later....this is why I have a marble rolling pin.
5 to 6 T ice water, or use 1 T lemon juice or unflavored vinegar as part of the measured liquidAgain, temperature matters. Ice water, not just cold
Optional: Not really. Do this part. It's important. 1 large egg yolk (1 T) included as part of measured liquid (Note: to strengthen patry for use with moist fillings, use 1 whole large egg [3 T] instead of the yolk alone
Optional sweetener: 2-4 T granulated or confectioners' sugar The sugar really is optional, even for sweet pies. I've never had anyone complain when I left it out which is more often than not.

Basic Preparation Technique
1. Combine the dry ingredients (flour, sugar, salt) with the cut-up, chilled fat (butter, lard, Crisco, or margarine) in a large bowl. Working quickly and lightly, pinch and slide the lumps of dough between your fingertips until the mixture resembles dry rice. This process layers the shortening and flour together, creating "leaves" that will form flakes when baked. Fingertips are used instead of the warmer palm of your hand because warmth melts shortening, which can then be absorbed by the flour, causing the dough to toughen. The rule: Keep everything as cold as possible. Instead of using fingertips to mix dough, you can also use a pastry blender (wire loops attached to a handle), a fork, or tow cross-cutting table knives.
2. At this point, add liquid of your choice (ice water, lemon juice or vinegar, egg) plus flavorings. Take care not to overwork the dough lest you develop its elasticity. Lightly combine the dough until it just begins to cling together in clumps, but before it forms a ball. Sprinkle on a tiny bit more water if the dough looks too dry. Dough should feel pliable like clay, but not sticky. If you catch the dough at this point, you will not overwork the pastry.
3. Turn the dough out onto a sheet of wax paper. Lift the paper's opposite corners and press them together, squeezing the dough into a cohesive ball. Wrap the dough and refrigerate 20 to 30 minutes at least, but the longer the better, up to several hours or overnight. Chilling allows the glutenous, or elastic, properties of the flour to relax and helps prevent the dough from shrinking during baking. Wrapped dough can be refrigerated 3 to 4 days, or frozen for up to 6 months. (Note: Allow chilled dough to sit out at room temperature a few minutes to lose its extreme hardness before rolling it out.)


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Yay, I got points! ^.^

Also, I realized while I was writing it that your style of ranting is quite fun and a good outlet for the crazy. :)

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