loimprevisto's page

Because it has living amenities

Hilarious!

This one takes some context, and I'm not sure if I'm telling it properly but it had us all laughing... Same character as above, the genetech game's overt bison moreau:

A cruise missile had experienced a malfunction in flight and failed to detonate. An unfriendly country had recovered it was gearing up to move it to an ultra-secure laboratory for reverse engineering. We hand once chance to recover it while it was still under guard at the military warehouse so we infiltrated the facility, took care of the guards, and left with the cruise missile (got to love the carrying capacity bonus for large creatures!).

The guards were fairly capable dog moreaus so we had to take them by complete surprise. My character had the stealth skills (I'd bought my Dex all the way up to 14, with the -4 racial penalty) so I got close, but was spotted at the last second. When I created the character, the GM had given me a fairly spiffy trait for my buffalo horns- he let them count as a natural weapon that I could use only during a charge to deal 1d20 subdual damage. I hadn't had a chance to use it yet but it seemed that this was the time. I rolled a critical, and the guard bounced three times before he came to rest.

We would often have little post-mission debriefings that were in the style of Ghost and the Shell's "Tachikomatic Days". In this one the forensics unit attempted to put together a sketch of the person who had infiltrated the facility. It was Merlin, on a hovercraft, with a bison's skull mounted to the grille.

Consciousness returns slowly, and with it come pain and dizziness and nausea and a host of other unpleasant sensations. Better to close her eyes and rest for a while. Dimly she realizes that Jin his here beside her and that makes it all alright.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Earlier, in the hold of the Anodyne

Alessandra surveys the wreckage with dismay. Much of the medical equipment and supplies are still intact along with some of the supplies in the hold, but the Baron's cannons had completely ruined the helm and engines. She looks to Jin and ventures, "I don't see any sign of the crew. I wonder if the Baron has abducted them, or if they managed to escape with the servants from the manor. Well, the foredeck looks safe enough, lets see if we can move some of the supplies up there before we check your dock. Perhaps the Cold Star escaped destruction? It was a much smaller target after all..." She loses her train of thought while looking into Jin's eyes. It was so strange and wonderful to see him unmasked and wearing his tattoos proudly in the daylight; but now's not the time for woolgathering. She collects herself and carefully steps forward to look up through the enormous hole in the deck that's exposing the medical bay to daylight, when a terrifying groaning/squealing/splintering sound drowns out Jin's reply and darkness falls.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She stirs again at the sound of a faint clicking and beeping. Through the dust and rubble she could just make out the forms of a few medical servbots beginning to explore the wreckage- apparently not all of the vessel's interior sensors had been disabled by the Baron's fusillade.

wheeze... *cough* *cough* *cough*

She tries to talk but her mouth is too dry and something is pinned across her back preventing her from drawing a proper breath. The corset she was wearing to ensure the gown fit properly wasn't helping things either. Minutes passed and she tried again.

*cough* get... taraz...

A light began blinking on the small bot. She considers saying more but it's entirely too much effort to stay awake- with a slight groan she drifts back into unconsciousness.

In a d20 Modern GeneTech game I was playing a genetically modified anthropomorphic buffalo with a charisma of 7. We were breaking into the facility of a Russian drug cartel and had cleared most of the bottom floor, my character (the language expert) went to scout ahead. He encountered one of the bad guys coming down the stairs and a brief battle ensued. I did everything I could to keep it quiet, but the ensuing grapple involved a string of bad rolls and a lot of crashing into things and loud swearing before I could kill the guy. The rest of the crew upstairs heard the ruckus and shouted out "Peyter, what was that? Are you OK?", without missing a beat I improvised "I broke my leg!" ...in my deep bass rumble of a voice, with an American accent (rolled a modified 0 on my bluff check).

With modifiers for distance and for not being particularly concerned about the missing man (he wasn't very popular), they rolled less than zero. Hilarity ensued.

I submit for you the following: back in 3.5 I played an insane gnome artificer who had a penchant for coming up with crazy devices without thinking them through. to this end I kept a notebook of ideas, and when the party provided inspiration I wrote them down, now matter how absurd. These are the best...

My group also had a thing about gnomish inventions. The two that I recall best were the voice-operated espresso machine... that the parrot familiar figured out. "*skwak* ESPRESSO-ESPRESSO-ESPRESSO!!! *skwak*" and The Boots. The Boots used to be a simple pair of sneakers but after years of meticulous testing and engineering, with dozens of odd components and exotic materials grafted on, they no longer squeak when you walk across a wet floor. Dry floors on the other hand...

::mutters blasphemous phrases of the foulest necromancy::

ARISE!

So I came across an interesting article on American facism and the rise of the surveillance state...

First instance: Party piles up gunpowder barrels to break through a wall. Realizes the only person who can light them is the party wizard with spark. Wizard gets singed... a bit.

Your players need to watch more black and white movies. The typical cinematic technique is to pour a trail of gunpowder a safe distance away then light your end of the gunpowder trail.

Noble fop's bodyguard: Sir, your language is offensive and I must ask you to retract your words, else I shall be forced to challenge you to a duel!

GM: The bodyguard has quite the reputation for defending his liege's honor and as a duelist. He wears a necklace of ears from those he's defeated.

PC: I can live without an ear! Let me take this guy!

((rest of party exchanges glaces))

GM: Um... he takes it after you're dead...

Is your campaign combat focused? Enchantments may be so-so in combat, but they can have a huge effect on the rest of the game...

Taco Bell Victim

Any monster that looks like it came out from outer space or from the Alien movie doesn't make it to my game.

I prefer Greek and Norse mythology types of creatures; even Cthulhu mythos creature are too "spacey" for the type of medieval-fantasy genre that I prefer.

Have you tried running Cthulhu styled ghouls? That can add a nice touch of horror to a game.

I've never encountered a Lich in any of my games, nor used one as a GM.

I'll just leave this here.

I'm readin' thread fool! Don't you ever interrupt me when I'm readin' a thread!

Alessandra takes a deep breath to control the rage that threatens to overwhelm her at Whitey's words. Things seemed hopeless, but reason and logic might yet win out. She throws caution to the winds and makes her final appeal.

"Painful? No, it's more akin to jumping into an icy stream and feeling yourself carried away. Truth be told, I feel no guilt for my actions. No blood would have been spilled at all if you fools weren't so cussedly stubborn about despoiling the Weirwood. The wolves were here first! I'm not sure how to explain it- I'm not sure it can be explained. Since I was bitten, the woods have sung to me, enthralled me with their sights and sounds and scents. This place is sacred and you all want to treat it as nothing more than a common patch of dirt."

The professor looks hopeful as she meets Whitey's accusing gaze, "Listen to me, no more people need to die here. You can do something to free yourself from your guilt- nobody needs to die tonight! Not tonight or any night! Come with me, join the pack! Just a quick nip and there will be nothing to fight over any more."

Doctor, as the baner you have demonstrated subtlety and wisdom. Simon, as a scryer you've shown reason and insight. Tristen you've shown yourself a true friend in dire straights, keeping your word to me no matter how great the temptation to break it. You've all proved yourselves worthy allies and cunning prey and I'd be proud to hunt beside any of you. As you've seen, the bite leaves no permanent mark or lasting injury. Come, stand with me under the moon and accept this gift- join the TRUE settlers of the Weirwood!"

Change vote to null

If only the situation is right, all feats/abilities can be defended, even Hold Breath.

Prone Shooter. I dare you.

Same for the E.E. "Doc" Smith's Lensman stuff.

Blasphemy!

Sure it's pulpy space opera, but it's good pulpy space opera!

FYI...

I found a website with some great pictures of abandoned factories in Detroit.

http://www.terrastories.com/bearings/

Fast-Talker: You had a knack at getting yourself into trouble as a child, and as a result developed a silver tongue at an early age.

Heh. I can just see Chess trying to pull this off :P

So, to get back on-topic about bad spells, here's my take on things. I'll start with 1st level- someone else can take other levels. Note that the utility of these spells can change a lot at higher levels, so I think we should just consider the level at which they first become available. That said:

Endure Elements: No mechanical benefits beyond benefits to survival/fortitude checks. This is a definite corner case... if your campaign is set in the arctic wastes then this might be a must-have, otherwise leave it to the druid.

Detect Undead: Detect undead auras for 1 min/level, seriously? This is a thematic choice at best, I can't see it being an everyday spell for any sorcerer.

Magic Aura: A potentially handy utility spell, this is very unlikely candidate for a sorcerer spell slot. Grab a scroll (or two) instead.

Ventriloquism: This is a bard spell. A thematically appropriate sorcerer with a spell slot to spare *might* get some use out of this, but since it allows a save just from hearing it, it is probably... suboptimal.

Animate Rope: Requires a touch attack and a reflex save to entangle someone? Might trip instead? Just get hydraulic push if manipulating the battlefield is your thing.

Erase: Seriously? A sorcerer might use this once per campaign.