Like the judges, I wasn't overly thrilled by the naming conventions (at first I thought it was an Asian-themed setting), but there's just enough unusual stuff hinted at here that it might make my top 5.
Nice stuff. I was expecting some more far-reaching DM secrets, but that's ok. This gets a vote from me, definitely. I like stuff that's run down, twisted, broken, and yet stil strangely beautiful.
Very interesting. A little more original than some of the other 'generic' fantasy entries, but I share the same concerns that others have voiced. So I'm waffling on this one.
If instead of thinking of it as a slingstone that grows and does extra damage (putting it in the weapon category), present it the other way. It a a stone that provides a 5' x 5' x 5' piece of cover upon command. In addition, it can also be fired from a sling or thrown as the command word is said, to grow in mid-flight and do the extra damage. That would probably move it to the wondrous item category.
In that case, I have a nice two-handed cheese slicer to show you. Sure, it's a wondrous item. *wink*
I suspect this may have been labelled a swiss army item...
I do detect a hint of theme to it, but it still seems like a bit of a grab bag to me, some (seemingly) random powers added to a (seemingly) random object.
So I guess I'd suggest focusing in on one really cool aspect? I dunno.
GB, I realized I didn't comment on this from many pages ago. Here's my take on it.
If I were designing it, maybe I'd drop the skill bonuses and the 1/day charm, and just make it a constant attitude shift by one level after 5 rounds of conversation. That would make it as clean and simple as the (winning) Lantern of Selective Perception. (Harder to price though.)
Wow, Clark, I just want to say what a friggin' awesome thing you are doing sharing your time commenting on the various submissions that ended up not being selected. Even the brutal honest commentaries are insightful.
(Yes, I'm sucking up so you might share your views on mine, too. Here it is...)
Spoiler:
Conundrum of the Secret Scribe, an enchanted notion
Enchanted Notions: More than mere thoughts, enchanted notions are the mental equivalents of magic items, residing in the psyches of their possessors, and are wielded with command words. They may be stored instantly in arcane marks; written down using the Scribe Scroll feat, which takes one hour per 1,000 gp in the base price; or taught directly, which is just as lengthy a process. Someone seeking to learn an enchanted notion must make a Decipher Script (if read) or Spellcraft (if taught) check to do so (DC 10 + notion’s caster level). Once a notion is written or taught successfully, it is wiped from its former owner’s mind. No one may know more than one enchanted notion at a time.
Conundrum of the Secret Scribe: This complex magic formula allows its ponderer once per day to see and hear the circumstances surrounding the origin of any writing touched, as if she were scrying on its author during its creation, regardless of the intervening distance or time. If the text is a copy, the copyist will be revealed instead of the author of the source work.
Moderate divination; CL 9th; Craft Wondrous Item, scrying; Price 32,000 gp.
I like it. If it were mine, I might want to focus more on shadowy, foreboding stuff rather than the mirrory/hiding stuff. Make it something a warlock or hexblade might use.
Maybe add some sort of very slow sapping of energy from the user... Perhaps each time the shadow reflection is conjured, you make a Fort save or 1 point of permanent Con drain as wisps of black essence drift off of your flesh and into the conjured shadow reflection, whose hit points would rise by a further 10%. (If going with this idea, I'd slash the requirements and price dramatically.) Just a thought.
Pretty neat, but auto damaging everyone adjacent seems pretty powerful. Maybe switch to the same fire-damage-by-touch effect that a fire elemental has? And tack on the +1d6 fire to melee damage the bbn deals. I dunno. The fireball is a great addition and really adds to the item for me.
This rectangular bullseye lantern has shuttered doors on opposite sides. One door sheds a reddish continual flame, the other a slightly bluish light. Once per day with the command word, the possessor can shine the lantern upon a person, place, or thing for 1d4 x 10 minutes scrying into the subject’s past, acting as a clairvoyance sensor. The lantern then projects from the other side a silent image. The image is a scene from an event that took place in the past involving the subject that is directly relevant to the user’s interest. The lantern can not answer questions, interpret, or depict indirect information. Divination spells and mystic senses can not be used with it. Natural darkness and lower level darkness spells will not hinder the lantern’s functioning; but anti-scrying magics that were active during a period in history will thwart it for the time that such spells were active. Individuals in the past can not usually detect this scrying by any means; as such attempts will not have actually happened yet.
Oo, neat item. My entry, Conundrum of the Secret Scribe, also scried into the past, so it's good to know I'm not alone in thinking those kinds of items are cool. I enjoyed reading your design notes, too. Thanks for sharing!
I agree the Lantern of Selective Perception is better written, but I do like that fact that yours has a drawback: the strong, tarry odour. This makes it seem more realistic and gives a reason not to use it in certain circumstances. I really wish more items made their owners actually think about when to use them, instead of making it a no-brainer. So I offer you a hearty "good job!"
I love the idea that its cracked. I think more magic items should be broken, tarnished, misused, short-circuited, have graffiti written on them, etc. It makes for a more realistic game. I also like the descriptive text about it being an unpleasant experience, and the drawbacks/cost of use. Always refreshing to see these elements!
However, I can see how the judges might not have liked the uniqueness of it (the whole artifact idea) and the arcane healing thing. Personally I say they're great and would happily yoink this for my game if the party wasn't already overrun with healing stuff.
Conundrum of the Secret Scribe, an enchanted notion
Spoiler:
Enchanted Notions: More than mere thoughts, enchanted notions are the mental equivalents of magic items, residing in the psyches of their possessors, and are wielded with command words. They may be stored instantly in arcane marks; written down using the Scribe Scroll feat, which takes one hour per 1,000 gp in the base price; or taught directly, which is just as lengthy a process. Someone seeking to learn an enchanted notion must make a Decipher Script (if read) or Spellcraft (if taught) check to do so (DC 10 + notion’s caster level). Once a notion is written or taught successfully, it is wiped from its former owner’s mind. No one may know more than one enchanted notion at a time.
Conundrum of the Secret Scribe: This complex magic formula allows its ponderer once per day to see and hear the circumstances surrounding the origin of any writing touched, as if she were scrying on its author during its creation, regardless of the intervening distance or time. If the text is a copy, the copyist will be revealed instead of the author of the source work.
Moderate divination; CL 9th; Craft Wondrous Item, scrying; Price 32,000 gp.
...it is still feeling more like a spell, or a spell on a scroll, than a wondrous item, on a purely gut level.
Ok, Roger, thanks for the feedback! I'll just chalk it up to a gut check on the part of the judges, too. Oh well.
...it is similiar to a vest... It doesn't take a slot because I doubled the cost to have it *not* take a slot.
I guess I was looking at it from a logic point of view. Having something that slips in between the vest and cloak slots, and takes up neither, just doesn't seem right to me. It just seems like an unnecessary exception to make. But then, I'm an advocate of low-magic campaigns, so my opinion might be skewed that way.
terraleon wrote:
...a series of powers I'd found through experience that every cleric in a fighter heavy party tends to wish he had... The protection from evil effect is meant to provide a combat bonus...
I suppose I just wasn't thinking as much in terms of game design as I was in terms of a cool theme, rather like what you point out here:
terraleon wrote:
...an item that I can see as the symbol of membership to a Prestige Class organization, or knightly order...
I definitely see this potential, and I realize why you made it generic and not specific to any particular group. I would just like to see you take the extra step and give them item more character, maybe how a particular group use them. Make one power a little more quirk. Or keep the powers but flavour them so they are themed.
Of course, then you'd get dinged on too much backstory and not enough usefulness, but there you go! ;-)
This probably wouldn't apply so well to an SRD-compliant item, but what if you built in teamwork benefits/synergies instead of individual-focused powers? Like the stuff from, what's that book, PH2? That would be really cool.
Conundrum of the Secret Scribe, an enchanted notion
It introduces new rules (requiring the explanation, which is a mistake), is a scrying "device" (which were dime-a-dozen), can't be taken or removed (as a GM and a player I hate those), and would break GM mysteries way too easily.
Ah, cool, more feedback. Thanks, Patrick!
Hmm, I didn't consider the enchanted notion stuff as "new rules," at least not much more than other items might have. Though perhaps I'm too close to it and can't be objective about that.
I thought it was a unique take on scrying. The Seer's Tea was praised for being a unique take on augury. So I'm still confused.
As for not being taken/removed, I can see your point. Due to space limitations, I cut text that indicated enchanted notions could be stolen via telepathy (sort of a mental disarm).
Perhaps your last point has merit in that there may be a bias (or at least hesitation) against divination items. Still, more powerful divinations do exist. Are they gamebreakers?
Conundrum of the Secret Scribe, an enchanted notion
Spoiler:
Enchanted Notions: More than mere thoughts, enchanted notions are the mental equivalents of magic items, residing in the psyches of their possessors, and are wielded with command words. They may be stored instantly in arcane marks; written down using the Scribe Scroll feat, which takes one hour per 1,000 gp in the base price; or taught directly, which is just as lengthy a process. Someone seeking to learn an enchanted notion must make a Decipher Script (if read) or Spellcraft (if taught) check to do so (DC 10 + notion’s caster level). Once a notion is written or taught successfully, it is wiped from its former owner’s mind. No one may know more than one enchanted notion at a time.
Conundrum of the Secret Scribe: This complex magic formula allows its ponderer once per day to see and hear the circumstances surrounding the origin of any writing touched, as if she were scrying on its author during its creation, regardless of the intervening distance or time. If the text is a copy, the copyist will be revealed instead of the author of the source work.
Moderate divination; CL 9th; Craft Wondrous Item, scrying; Price 32,000 gp.
Starglim wrote:
This is a nifty idea, though it stretches the concept of a wondrous item to its limit and beyond. I can see the question arising how one of these "items" differs from a spell or a feat.
Thanks, Starglim! Mechanically it is almost no different from any other wondrous item: it can be used by anyone (unlike spells), can be passed from one PC to another (unlike feats), and can even be "set down" and "picked up" in a manner of speaking.
I don't mean to sound full of myself, but honestly can't think of any reason for it not be included among the 32. I thought outside the box (the judges said they rewarded creativity), and I've not seen the effect before (so I don't think it suffers from common-item-syndrome). Perhaps the judges couldn't visualize how it would fit into a treasure trove? I'M AT A LOSS.
Dude, this is my kind of item, though I can definitely see it stereotyped as a plot device. Also perhaps some clarification of the spider stats would be in order. Awesome concept though! Excellent entry.
Matthew Shelton wrote:
Smirk’s Periapt of Inerrant Travel
Sounds like an ok item, though nothing about it stands out for me. I get the feeling there are several items out there that do these sorts of things.
chopswil wrote:
Boots of Stinking Retreat
Sounds useful, if inglorious. ;-)
Timault Azal-Darkwarren wrote:
Mask of the Sea-Reavers, Eagle
Solid idea, though it sounds like definitely too much backstory for what they wanted. Price seems a tad high; an arbitrary lowering might be in order.
Rookseye wrote:
Earhorn of Odd Ability (Audibility)
Clever pun in the name, but I'm not sure that earned you any points. I like the description of the item. The powers are themed together, but still seem slightly like a swiss army item to me, probably because it is truly a very multi-purpose item. Probably just needs more focus.
terraleon wrote:
Adventurer's Mark
Seems like it should fill a magic item slot. The second paragraph could be written more succinctly. I agree with a previous poster that Prot from Evil might be of limited use. My honest opinion is that it suffers from the swiss army item problem; a few (seemingly) random powers placed on a (seemingly) random item. No offense meant, but I'd like to see something more specific or themed better. The Mark of the Golden Griffon, or whatever, and have the powers somehow related to that description. The Kraken Helm in the Top 32 is a well-done example.
Dark wrote:
Bedroll of Bowered Dreams
Not exciting or groundbreaking maybe, but I do think it's useful. Are there any other items that do this? How does it compare in usefulness to something like a rope trick spell or other "hidey-hole" items?
Forged Goo wrote:
Wheels of the Vagabond
I think it's a good idea, though very specialized. I can see antiquarians and treasure hunters finding this item useful in some situations (and those are character types I enjoy...). I'd be curious about its speed, max load, etc.
RogerC wrote:
Scarab of Weal and Woe
I think the judges received a lot of luck-related items. Adjudication of what is an "inconsequential saving throw" might be difficult.
Someone's been reading the encyclopedia again, haven't they?
I like quirky stuff, and I REALLY like quirky stuff aimed at roleplaying encounters rather than combat bonuses.
I suspect one drawback might be the perception that the item deals with a lot of intangibles that are hard to define and quantify. What counts as a "controversial topic," for example?
Also some of the more action-oriented campaigns might not see a use for it very often (or at all).
I dunno. Just doesn't do it for me. Nothing about the item screams NEW! Sure its handy and all, but I just get the feeling theres a bunch of other items out there that replicate this grab bag of effects.
Good God, man, I love the description and fluff text. That part rocks. I'm just not sure the mechanics/effect of it do it justice. I'd like to see something cooler than just a penalty to some die rolls. Unfortunately I can't put my finger on what that something should be. Best I can come up with off the top of my head is a save or fascinated effect, but that doesn't quite solve the essential problem.
Very evocative. I definitely like the descriptive stuff in there. I think the actual utility of the item needs some interest added to it, rather than just a divination spell.
Just brainstorming here, but what if each bone on the string embodied the essence of one skill at which it's former owner excelled? The wearer may select one bone (i.e. one tortured spirit) to study (say, for 1 hour). For the remainder of that day, she gains a nice bonus to that skill at the cost of a (much lower) penalty to all others?
Again, not meaning to hijack your item... The cool description inspires me but the magical effect does not. That's all.
Headband of Momentary Defiance ...The wearer gains an additional, immediate saving throw with the same bonus and against the same DC as the original, failed saving throw...
I like this and don't have any insight on why it might have been axed. I really like the idea of being able to restore its power.
If it were mine, I might opt for less alignment-specific stuff, switching out the holy water for something weirder / more evocative like brain fluid from an intelligent creature or something. I'd replace the protection from evil requirement with resistance, and adjust the price accordingly. And just for kicks, I'd probably throw in some very minor drawback that fits the defiance theme, like a -2 circumstance penalty to Diplomacy checks while worn.
I like it, but it seems perhaps too limited in scope. What if it went ahead and granted the share spells ability to the wearer and his familiar/companion/mount, regardless of level or whatnot?
Also I think the name might be misleading. Perhaps Farlink Bracelet or something.
I particularly like the description of the item, and somehow want it to be important to its function, but I can't suggest anything off the top of my head. Perhaps something creepy in regards to its attunement to the animal? I dunno.
Neat item! I especially like some of the details and restrictions you worked in. I would've liked to see a minor drawback, such as, during the reverie, the sleeper is completely unaware of her immediate surroundings and cannot be aroused by sounds alone. Or whatever. Something to make players consider its use wisely instead of defaulting to always sleeping with it. But my opinion may not be widely shared.
A common ritual in barbaric lands, the heart of a defeated troll is magically prepared and eaten...
I think this is a cool item, utility and mechanics bedamned! Were it mine, I might have provided slightly more benefit and/or redirected the drawback to something more flavourful than a Fort save penalty. Maybe vulnerability to fire and acid? I dunno.
But I definitely like the fact that it (a) has a drawback and (b) is weird/disgusting. A winner in my book.
Ok, since the blessing has been given to post losing items, here's mine. Feedback is not only welcome, I'm begging for it.
Conundrum of the Secret Scribe, an enchanted notion
Enchanted Notions: More than mere thoughts, enchanted notions are the mental equivalents of magic items, residing in the psyches of their possessors, and are wielded with command words. They may be stored instantly in arcane marks; written down using the Scribe Scroll feat, which takes one hour per 1,000 gp in the base price; or taught directly, which is just as lengthy a process. Someone seeking to learn an enchanted notion must make a Decipher Script (if read) or Spellcraft (if taught) check to do so (DC 10 + notion’s caster level). Once a notion is written or taught successfully, it is wiped from its former owner’s mind. No one may know more than one enchanted notion at a time.
Conundrum of the Secret Scribe: This complex magic formula allows its ponderer once per day to see and hear the circumstances surrounding the origin of any writing touched, as if she were scrying on its author during its creation, regardless of the intervening distance or time. If the text is a copy, the copyist will be revealed instead of the author of the source work.
Moderate divination; CL 9th; Craft Wondrous Item, scrying; Price 32,000 gp.
During the posting process, I waffled about whether to describe how enchanted notions work first, then detail the particular notion I was submitting... or whether I should just fold the stuff about enchanted notions into the description of the one I was submitting.
I settled on the former option, not unlike the way Figurines of Wondrous Power are handled in the SRD.
Given a higher word limit, I would've added a few more enchanted notions to better illustrate the concept.
This one caught my eye right away, and I thought, "Yep, these *are* superstar items." Way to go!
I understand the reason behind the Sleight of Hand check and I think it fits the item description.
I also understand the use of spells as the powers (gives variety in very few words), but if the word limit were stripped away, I would like to see a few more shapes and for them all to have more unique/unusual effects.
I think the idea of a magical trepanation drill is VERY creative. This is one of my favourites on the list.
I'm very fond of positive items with negative side effects. (If it were up to me, every magic item would have some minor negative side to it, but there you go.)
Although it wouldn't have fit into 200 words, if I were introducing this into my campaign, I'd have it be adjustable, so that the drill could be repositioned to any part of the skull/brain. Tiny marked dials allow exact positioning of the latitude and longitude.
Furthermore, accompanying notes (written in the previous owner's feverishly scribbled handwriting, of course) would ascribe certain powers* to one or two positions, along with a cryptic reference to a lost tome that detailed the effects of its use at all settings.
That would give the item a little more utility than just divination, and it might be enough to provoke reckless PCs into experimenting on themselves.
(* Mean DMs might have the previous owner's marginalia be somewhat misleading or even totally wrong.)
It's just such a neat item that it really sparks my imagination!
All the little details make it an absolute winner. I especially like the fact that the author provided interesting flavour text rather than combat moves or whatever. I much prefer it this way.
...we definately wanted to see creativity. I mean, this was RPG Superstar...
Erik Mona wrote:
I greatly preferred highly imaginative items to boring seen-it-before submissions.
I want to thank everyone involved in running/judging this contest. Its absolutely great to see this level of interest and involvement from Clark, Erik, and Wolf.
My expectations were rather high for the top 32, and many of them no doubt deserve their place as paragons of creativity.
But I was suprised how many were... eh... mundane. Just not terribly creative at all. Malleus Maleficarum and Seer's Tea spring to mind, among others. I mean no offence to Mr. MacLeod and Mr. Byers--those are certainly USEFUL items--but how much creativity does it take to stat up something from the real world?
That's my main gripe, and mostly because I really tried to focus my entry away from mundane stuff and towards something creative that I had never seen before in any world, real or imaginary. Oh well. I've vented and feel better now. Thanks!
I would be highly interested in what the esteemed judges thought of my concept and how I could improve it... :-)
At this point, they are between Demonskar Legacy and Test of the Smoking Eye. Levels are lower than usual due to reduced ELs throughout.
Oberyn Tercival, son of the Seventh Arm (Human Hexblade 5 / Warlock 2)
Eclipse, servant of Pelor (Half-Ogre Barbarian 3)
Tarquin Aveluna Wingblade, Chord of Harsh Silence (Trumpet Archon 6)
Simon Filigree, gypsy (Human Rogue 6 / Wereape 1)
Various deceased:
Kaerion Galanidel of Bluecrater Academy (Grey Elf Wizard 5), killed by a summoned fire elemental
Tateland of Griffondale, priest of St. Cuthbert (Human Cleric 6), killed by Dugobras the fire giant
Monterey Jack (Human Swashbuckler 4), killed by Aushanna the erinyes
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