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iaptus's page

15 posts. Alias of Hobert Lanham.


thatboomerkid wrote:
Sect wrote:
thatboomerkid wrote:

Then you're going to LOVE my country, "Krkkklankkkkakakkalinkkkkkksttienkk." Their language sounds like someone speaking bad German over a bad cell-phone connection in the rain.
Your next PSA needs to have someone actually try to pronounce that monstrosity.

Ummm . . . it's, uh, probably pronounced . . . phoenetically?

Oi. Me and my big mouth. Anyway: the next PSA goes live in a matter of hours and features video shot in May, so . . . I promise nothing, is I guess what I'm saying. The turn-around time on no-budget film-making is KILLER slow.

Still, always pleased to hear from a fan . . . and to get a free joke out of it.

/Yoink! Stolen!

I love the PSAs. Great stuff. I thought about one for Tordek. He was banished from his clan because of a trap he designed did't work. You know the one. It's the one where the ground/bridge/ceiling collapses just behind the person who stole/tresspassed/etc. as they are running away. :)

Thanks everyone. I guess the Wolf man must have not liked them too much. Maybe I should have called them "Teeth of the Sneaky Little Kobold that comes out four times a year" or something.:)

Thanks again guys and have fun reading those second round entries. I'm sure there will be some great ones.

SAbel wrote:

SO CLOSE! I am sure this must be the worst feeling, I would believe that you preped a country in hopes and it is to bad you did not get the nod but at least you made the alt list and for that hats off to you.

I love to know what your item was either way.

Here ya go:

Rogue Teeth

These rare and coveted items come as a pair in a variety of precious materials ranging from gold and silver to the much sought after ivory. They must be put in place of missing teeth directly above and below each other so that when the owner bites down, they will touch. This often times means the forced removal of at least one tooth to get the proper alignment. When placed in such a manner and used to gently bite an object, said object is removed to an extra dimensional space. This space will hold up to five cubic feet of material with weight not to exceed fifty pounds. Three times per day, items can be placed in or retrieved as a standard action, by exerting pressure on the teeth and concentrating on the desired item. Most commonly held items are; lock picks, daggers, potions, vials of acid etc. These teeth are attributed, by those who know of them, with the seemingly miraculous escapes of some of the most infamous rogues of all time.

Moderate Conjuration; CL 10th; Craft Wondrous Item, secret chest; Price 90,000 gp.

Clark Peterson wrote:

I'm going to be busy reading countries :)

But I really liked your item alot. It was on my list of top 32, but we didnt have consensus on it.

Thank you. I understand that you might be a little busy the next couple of days. :)

So is there any chance of me seeing what the judges thought of my item?

Just submitted mine. Good luck to all.

Playin' with the kids. :)

David Roulston wrote:

My players are finishing up Blackwall Keep and will therefore soon be heading to the Free City. As my campaign is set in FR, Waterdeep will be the Free City.

I picked up the Waterdeep sourcebook a couple of years back with this in mind. While the book has a series of very nice partial maps of the city, there is no overall city map. You know, something poster-sized that pulls all those partial maps together.

Yet I seem to recall that there was one, somewhere. Am I misremembering? Was it included in one of the mags?

Can anyone help me out?

Volo's Guide to Waterdeep has a small fold out of the city. Also, the City of Splendor boxed set has a ton of maps. Both are great resources.

You guys aren't improving so much as every where else is getting worse :)

My condolences also.

Balabanto wrote:

Wow, I didn't realize just how big the anal probe for 4th Edition really was until I saw James here turning purple.

Well, I sent James and Erik this some months ago, so now I'll try and cheer you all up by posting it here. I now present the Obox-Ob song.

Obox-Ob Cultist
(With Apologies to Larry Groce)

You know I love to be a hero,
I never refuse a quest.
And when my party saved the King from a demon
He said I was the best
My best friends are a Paladin/Cleric
And his brother, the Holy Priest
And the rest of my party trusts me
To take them wherever we can
To fight all manner of evil beasts
Oh, yes, they do….

Oh, but at night I sneak down to the basement
And I make sure the steps don’t creak
And I open the secret panel
By tracing the dead Vrock’s beak
I slide open the secret door quickly
As I reach out to turn the knob….
Then I pull out my twice-curved dagger,
And I worship Obox-Ob!

Yeah, in the daytime, I’m Mr. Righteous
As goody-twoshoes as I can be,
But at night I’m an Obox-Ob cultist
May the gods have pity on me…

Well you know that you can find me
On my knees in sacred prayer
With my hands on my knees before Heironeous
And my head tilted in the air…
And swearing to strike dishonor
In a manner just and fair
And when I raise my sword
On high for justice
It’s too beautiful to bear…
Oh, yeah…

Oh, but when the doomed clock strikes darkest
And I find myself alone
I slide out my hidden key
That I made from a Deva’s finger bone
And I open up my path to the temple
In the sewers filled with slime
And bathe in the glorious madness
Of the vermin in my shrine!

Yeah, in the daytime, I’m Mr. Righteous
As goody-twoshoes as I can be,
But at night I’m an Obox-Ob cultist
May the gods have pity on me…

My friends among the homeless
They all think I’m pretty straight
Because they know nothing crawls nearby
When I walk past their sewer grate
I’m a friend to the common man
I’ll grant the helpless any boon
And I’ll share my meals with anyone
Who comes to my...

That was Awesome!! :)

San Antonio, Texas

Questions whether any previous acronyms (adventure paths) will be converted to the aforementioned update to the venerable fantasy role playing game "acronym".

Interrogative statement pertaining to no particular post. Assumption that any further statement contrary to the current paradigm will meet with additional animosity there by relegating said posters comment mute.

Larry Elmore is way out in front for my favorite. That being said, I like just about everyone that you guys and gals have listed. I haven't seen too many of you list Jeff Easley though. His work is akin to Elmore's.

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