gran rey de los disclaimer's page

78 posts. Alias of gran rey de los mono.


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Sharoth wrote:
gran rey de los disclaimer wrote:
I just wish it paid better. Or at all.
So you(dis)claim.

Disclaim, exclaim, proclaim, reclaim, and acclaim.


I just wish it paid better. Or at all.


The previous post is intended to be humorous, and is not intended to assert, imply, exply, 2-ply, or otherwise be taken as an assault on anyone's appearance.


Vidmaster7 wrote:
gran rey de los mono wrote:
Interesting twist to the laundry tonight. Manager worked 2nd shift, so of course he didn't touch it. But as the first load was finishing up in the wash, the automatic detergent/bleach/softener dispenser started pissing water on the floor. So I contained the water with rags, let the load finish washing, and then shut off the water to the machine. So now I have an undeniably legitimate reason to not wash any more laundry tonight. So I just have to finish up what was in the wash when I came in, and then dry and fold what I just washed, and I'll be done.
All this time I have been suggesting fire but turns out water was the way to go.

Just more evidence to support the conclusion that you are usually wrong.

(Joking. I hope you would know that, but I want to be clear.)


The preceding post may not be 100% accurate. For instance, they likely did more than just cocaine workshopping before they came up with the plot.

Also, they may or may not have stolen my pants.


I just feel like I need to jump in here and say something, but I'm not sure what.


To be clear, that is intended as a light-hearted joke. After all, I'm in a very similar boat as you.


Disclaimer: The above statement is only valid for certain values of "proven", "scientific", and "fact".


Don't get used to it.

Prices and participation may vary. Offer void where prohibited. Side effects include: nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea (Hey! Pepto-Bismol!), erectile dysfunction, erectile function, a reptile malfunction, strep-tile disjunction, conjunction junction (what's you're function?), consumption, money coming out the wazoo, permanent blindness, permanent deafness, a permanent wave, Jheri curls, cheese curls, curling, furlonging, and temporary death.


(I want to be clear: This was a joke. I literally chose Woran as the antagonist because she was the person who had posted prior to Mort. I am glad to hear you are well. Or at least, as well as can be expected given the circumstances.)


Very_Simple_Commoner wrote:
gran rey de los rural wrote:
Very_Simple_Commoner wrote:
Silly city slicker don't know how to whittle.
All ya'll's gots ta do is put yer lips together and blow.

*looks around nervously* ... My cousin didn't tell ya bout that one did she?

(Too far? please address all complaints to gran rey de los disclaimer )

gran rey de los disclaimer is not responsible for anyone's comments, including his own.


Just a Mort wrote:

Kung Fu Panda despite it being an animated film supposedly targeted at kids, actually has quite a number of deep zen-like lessons. The second one is that revenge never turns out well and only when you detach yourself from your past can you be truly free.

The third one is that no one lives on an island - we're all connected to each other. You don't have to face everything alone.

Disclaimer: In reality, many people live on islands.


Vidmaster7 wrote:
gran rey de los mono wrote:
Vidmaster7 wrote:
gran rey de los mono wrote:
I was visiting a friend in Boston, and suggested we walk to the store. She said "Avocado", so we drove instead.
Subtle I like but the set up might have needed more.
Should I have mentioned her really thick accent?
Darn it gran I'm a night auditor not a joke creation specialist!

Disclaimer: Vidmaster7 is not a joke creation specialist.

And at least one of us is not wearing pants.


I'm getting paid?


Vidmaster7 wrote:
gran rey de los mono wrote:
I accidentally swallowed some live ammunition yesterday, but didn't want to go the hospital. So I just farted a round at home.
I feel like we need disclaimer to let people know if they do swallow live ammo maybe hit up the hospital. Also stop eating live ammo.

Disclaimer: What he said.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

That was a joke. Not getting political. Stopping now.


Vidmaster7 wrote:
gran rey de los mono wrote:
Vidmaster7 wrote:
gran rey de los mono wrote:
Vidmaster7 wrote:
gran rey de los mono wrote:
Corn is made into a wide variety of foods, as well as plastics and fuel. It seems like the other vegetables (except soy beans) aren't even trying.
Maybe we are just not trying as hard with other vegetables. Also I feel you are not giving potatoes enough credit.
Can you make plastics out of taters?
You can save a country with them!

Yeah, but only if that country is Ireland. So, really, are they that good?

(That's a joke, you know. I have no problem with the Irish.)

Hmm I feel you should of used the disclaimer alias for that one.

Dislaimer: Vidmaster7 asked for this.

Well, crap. Should I switch this to the nekkid alias, or keep it on Disclaimer. Ummm.....

Nekkid Disclaimer: Vidmaster7 asked for me to get nekkid?


1 person marked this as a favorite.

OH COME ON MAN!!!!


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Aw, crap. I was enjoying my vacation.


Woah, woah, woah! I thought I said time out!


Ok, time out.

Just a joke. No offense meant. Move along. Nothing to see here.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

No need for me yet.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Oh, for f!*$'s sake.

No offense, just more jokes. Nothing to get mad about here.

I gotta get a better job.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

*spits out drink*

Jesus Christ, man!

No offense intended. It's just a joke. Please don't hurt us!


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Vidmaster7 wrote:
gran rey de los mono wrote:
It's hard for stores in Afghanistan to take inventory because of the tally ban.
Where gonna need disclaimer man here STAT!

*looks around*

Nope. We're all good.


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Don't trust that advice, he is an idiot and doesn't know what he's talking about.


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Meh.


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No offense.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Those are jokes, people. Just jokes.


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Okay. Here we go, again.

Please don't be offended by any of the jokes posted above.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

I'm gonna put this here just in case:

Please don't take offense at any of the jokes. They are meant in good fun.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

As always, please don't take offense. Or a fence.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Let's just hope no-one was offended by any of those.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Oh, boy.

Please don't take offense at any of the previous jokes. Like always, the poster is a moron.


2 people marked this as a favorite.

Some of the above jokes may have been in poor taste. Read at your own peril.

There. That ought to cover it.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

*shakes head, sighs*


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Once again I am needed.

Please don't take offense at anything said above (I'm looking at you, Amy Winehouse joke).


1 person marked this as a favorite.

No offense intended to anyone in those last few posts.

Also, I haven't used this alias in a while, and no offense was intended by that disuse.


2 people marked this as a favorite.

For those who don't follow, quarks come in 6 types: up, down, top, bottom, charm, and strange.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Obviously, the previous were jokes. Please don't be offended.


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Again, those were jokes. No offense intended.


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Oh, crap.

That was just a joke. As will likely be what follows. Please don't be offended.


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And just to be clear, those were all meant as jokes. No offense intended to anyone.

Except maybe Hitler.


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No offense intended in any of the previous posts.


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Joke. No offense intended. Just a joke.


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Joke. That was a joke. No offense.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

That was intended as a joke. Please don't be offended.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Again, no offense.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Here we go again.

Please take no offense to anything posted above.


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NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE!!

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