d13's page

I hate threads that try to tackle moral questions when everyone posting on them apparently has little to no concept of what they are talking about. ...

Whoa!

I would love to know what was so offensive. . . it slipped past me.

Rant some more, oh Progenitor of the Rant Thread

This thread also pulled to the surface a vague memory of a story from Ashkenazi Jewish tradition (IIRC) about a golem that a rabbi made to defend the Jewish people of Prague. (I may be getting this quite wrong--if someone else knows the story better, please tell). Anyhow, I don't remember the details, but IIRC there was this interesting moral conflict--the rabbi was doing good by protecting the community, but was usurping God's prerogative in creating animate beings. I think the berserk element also comes from this story, but the details escape me.

You are correct. I am Reading "The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Klay" right now and the beginning of the book deals with this old Jewish legend. I'm still at the beginning of the book, so I dont know how the legend ends.

I think the idea is that a golem is mindless (except when the elemental breaks free and goes Berserk) only because the creator's enchantment holds the elemental's mind/spirit dormant. At least that's the best way I can rationalize a golem's 0 Int with the fact that an elemental is supposed to power the thing.

Then I would have to say, "YES" this is an evil act. To subjugate the will of a sentient being into nothing more than a tool -- That is an evil act.

Like the Jade said, I'm assuming that a regular old 10 Int earth elemental is meant by the golem's description.

I had always thought that it was some sort of pure elemental force, without thoughts, desires, etc as opposed to the MM "Earth Elemental". Granted, I am not exactly an expert on elementals, but I had always kind of figured that "Elemental" was a pretty wide ranging term - something that perhaps extended beyond the simple entry in the MM.

I was having thoughts a while back about a similar subject, and I do not want to threadjack this subject (its a good one TS) but I was wondering why exactly the force needs to be an EARTH Elemental. It was the center of one of the many queries that I will probably never submit. Why cant you power your golem with alternative sources: Fire, water, air, bio-diesel, etc.?

Constructs are supposed to be "mindless" creations right?

Dont you need to have a mind in order to have a will?

Even the most simple minded creature has an instinct of self-preservation. Golems lack even this basic function of will, do they not?

The berserk quality seems to be an opening for some morally ambiguous turns during the game. I have run Flesh Golems that have lost control and run amok, and I always justified this as a function of their natural pieces (a little trace of a soul) regaining a sort of "insane sentience".

I did not know that Clay Golems also had this quality though. Thats a little harder to justify in my mind.

Fatespinner wrote:

Sebastian wrote:

Fatespinner/Peruhain - are you guys both Michigan expatriots as well? From where in the state? I grew up in a small town outside of GR.

Err... no. What made you think I might be from Michigan?

Oops. I meant d13. Sorry.

I grew up a liitle in GR, a little bit in Kalamazoo (where I also went to college), a little in Livonia, a little in Dearborn, I graduated high school from an abyssmal little town just south of Lansing. Now I live in New York City.

I hate it when you see a movie that you thought was the most profound piece of filmmaking at age eight, only to find out it was utter tripe in adulthood. I call it "The Land of the Lost" effect.

I have encountered the "Land of the Lost Effect" often. Remember "The Sword and the Sorceror"? Little d13 thought that it was one of the most brilliant films in the history of cinema. Nowadays if I catch a bit of it on TV I nearly wet myself (like a hobo) as I laugh in shame and disgust. Thats got to be one of the worst films ever made.

but its got guys with swords whose blades shoot out and demons with fingers that glow with evil "E.T." like power, and women wearing bikinis made of chain and gold coin. The three basic elements that made 8 year old d13 deem it a 5 star classic.

And has anyone ever noticed that at the end of the movie it says something like "LOOK FOR MORE ADVENTURES OF PRINCE TALON IN THE NEXT MOVIE: RETURN TO THE BLACK CITADEL"

yeah, somehow that sequel never got made. I couldn't figure out why. After such a great opener why would they ever stop making these movies? Ah yes. Many things were a mystery to young d13. and a mystery they shall remain.

d13 wrote:

The Jade wrote:

Love that 'sweet succulent hobo' line.

You have a band right? Sounds like a good song title to me. Hmmm?

. . .
OK, maybe not.

You saw Wolfen, right?

It was on TV three nights ago. I watched the last 10 minutes. I remember loving that movie as a little kid but I have to admit shaking my head in disbelief more than once the other night.

Love that 'sweet succulent hobo' line.

You have a band right? Sounds like a good song title to me. Hmmm?

I live an hour north of you and have similar issues with the city. I visit sparingly. It has so much to offer almost anyone, but the sun baked aroma of fresh wafting pee (the official scent of NYC) has a way of turning me green.

Every once in a while (more frequently in the summertime) you will be walking down the street in NYC and suddenly get a mouthfull of air that tastes like it has been filtered through the crotch of some hobo's sweatpants.

Mmmmm. Sweet succulent hobo.

I hate it when the summer hits New York City and the garbage and detritus from the 8 million crowded denizens begins to turn and stink under the oppressively reflected sunshine and the humidity level hits some unnatural number like 106% and you have to wait in the dank subway tunnel with thick, unmoving air only to pile and crowd into a subway car during rush hour where everyone is forced about 7 inches past what normal people refer to as "personal space" and they have to reach over their heads to grab the bar to keep themselves steady in the jiggling human herd thus exposing you to a ripe workday's ammount of under arm stench.

New York City has ONE nice season. Its hard to beat New York City in the fall. Other than that, there are just too many people in too small of an area with too much crappy weather.

No wonder Travis Bickle went curr-azy.

We need more avatars!!!!!

Perhaps one day the Pai-sanos will have enough time to change the website features so that we may upload our own avatars. Until that time I shall remain, as it is, brazenly au naturel.

I DM two groups. I am 30.

NYC Campaign is one woman 31, and one man 34

Kalamazoo Campaign (unfortunately this one only meets about once a year for serious marathon gaming) 3 men: 27, 31, 34

I like small groups

There was an old 1E module, "Dwellers of the Forbidden City" that was set in pseudo-Mesoamerican ruins. Of course I could be remembering that TOTALLY wrong. If I am remembering rightly though it did introduce the Tasoli (Tasloi, Tas-ah-oh screw it I cant spell it)
They are like little mischevious goblinoids that live in the trees and throw nets and shoot blow guns.

I've always wanted to use a couatl but my PCs have never been in the right area.

Giant Frogs, Yuan-Ti, all sorts of carnivorous/poisonous plants.

I once read that some native tribes in South America used to have a scale that measured a poisons toxicity by the number of hops a frog could take after being intoxicated. I've always wanted to use that in a game. "oooh. one hop. verrrry deadly."

anyway, just some ideas.

One enemy could keep all the souls in clocks. Another could trap them all in jars, or any number of odd items that could add an interesting flare to the creature.

I don't see it as a can of worms. I see it as an opportunity for creativity.

What if you trap the souls in a Can Of Worms? Then you are being literal, figurative and creative all at the same time!?

By now, I will have a Mind Flayer community whose Elder Brain is steered by Asmodeus in setting up a competition of four teams of four individuals each. The best four are planned to lead an invasion of the surface world to crush a good country. One team (that of my PCs) will consist of only three individuals

Realize that right here you have fertile ground for creating a very memorable recurring character. If the PCs are working as a group of three and the MFs master plan includes 4 members, you can introduce the fourth character early on as a nemesis and all around pain-in-the-ass. Perhaps the 4th character's group is foiling the PCs missions, or accomplishing their tasks ahead of them, getting their just rewards, etc.

As the PCs are evil, they will no doubt want revenge, but to eventually have it all turn on its head when they are forced to work with the S.O.B. they've come to love to hate - that can be the stuff that campaign dreams are made on.

I am probably one of the most closeted gamers that you will ever meet. There are certainly a lot of people out there that know that I game, I just dont wear it on my sleeve - or on my chest with a silk print that says, "I'm with Cthulu".

I have had long meaningful relationships with women who NEVER knew that I gamed. Relationships that lasted years. In fact, I have had many constructive and wonderful friendships with other people where D&D was never remotely mentioned.

Its not that I dont love it. Its just that I know some people aren't going to get it. And if they dont show any interest in it, then I am perfectly willing to let things be where they are. I also love quantum physics. But if someone doesn't show any interest in it, I am not going to start talking to them in what is ostensibly a different language.

It is possible to have a good, healthy relationship without your hobby coming into play.

Now, that being said, about a year into my current relationship (now going on 3) my girlfriend, completly on her own, mentioned that she had never played, but always had a strange fascination with D&D and roleplaying games. There was no hint dropping from me previously - she said this almost out of the blue. I replied, "yeah? cuz I've been playing for about 23 years."

Its too late to make a long story short, but this revelation completly blew her away, she's now a regular player, and has been frequently outing me and my gaming habits to all of our friends. Its hands down the best relationship I have ever had.

Its possible to keep your hobby a secret from your significant other and still have a healthy relationship. Secrecy does not necessarily connote dishonesty. But there really is no substitute for finding someone that you can share your hobby with.

and also, if it did come out, and she did drop your for it,
then that flake was just a cheap piece a tail anyway.

How about
"I'm OK, you're a Roper"
"The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Gelatinous Cubes"
"The Svirfneblin Manifesto"

Dont forget the undead section

this reminds me, in the original Ravenloft module there is a book with a really funny title in Strahd's library. Something about "learning to cope"

anyone remember the exact title?

If you are requiring them to provide an at least one page outline of their character's backgrounds and motivations, just make sure you get all of them before you sit down to play the first time. Encourage them to work with you on their outlines, so that you can tweak them all a little to create a reasonably sound premise for their initial forays. A little collaboration and compromise beforehand can help take you away from some of the old standby "meeting up in tavern" type beginnings.

Also, if you've never run an antihero campaign, I would recommend that you steer anyone away from playing a character with an "I work alone" attitude. This personality type tends to create more problems in a group of antiheros and you definitely want try to avoid that. Contrary to what people might initially think, evil characters can work well together and even have friends.

Just look at Vice-President Dick Cheney. He has friends. Of course he shoots his friends in the face, but thats just what makes him an intriguing evil character.

Some more book ideas:

"Rediscovering Thac0"

"Lets convert it to Electrum!"

"Learn to Draw Jubilex"

"Barmaids and Barbarians: A Sourcebook for Seducing your PCs in D&D"

Mind Flayers are super intelligent, insidious creatures. Seeing as you haven't hammered out each PCs initial motivations for adventuring, you could easily make the Illithid the puppet masters. You said each PC would be an outcast of some sort. Perhaps the Illithid were somehow responsible for this. Maybe one of the PCs is sent away from his homeland on a quest by an elder or family member - later on the PC finds out that the elder had been motivated by Illithid the whole time. Or the Illithid had psionically motivated a leader from the PCs community to banish them. Having the mind flayers play a more indirect (yet still substantial) role in getting the campaign started would feel a lot less like railroading than the straight up "brainwashing the PCs" idea. In addition, it makes for memorable and possibly creepy moments ahead when the PCs discover the truth. Or as much of the truth as the Illithid know. . .

If you went this route, I think it would be a good idea to have concrete reasons why the mind flayers chose each specific PC for their plot. Mind Flayers are smart enough to have picked them for a reason. What is it about these characters that makes them suited as a unit to help cover the world in darkness?

and please post this as a campaign journal, I've run an evil campaign (sadly not nearly as frequently anymore) since about '97 and I am always curious to hear how other people do it.

4th Edition. Okay, maybe not 'never' but not for quite a while.

Ugh.

What are you going to plunk down on the table as a mini to represent tarrasque leavings?

Jack Link's Peppered Beef Steak.

I wonder if he ever *blew up his death star?

Well it was already wrapped in foil, why not just throw it in the oven?

When I was a kid, I had to make a Death Star out of a potato and some aluminum foil.

OH MY GOD! Sometimes you read a post that just strikes the right nerve at the right time. THIS IS HILARIOUS!

This is killing me! I cant help but see a 6 year old Heathansson (a werewolf in a beanie)wrapping a potato in aluminum foil and pretending to shoot lazers with it. Right after he finishes his snack of lead-based paint chips.

Dude, its supposed to be spherical! Why didn't you just use a softball or something! You totally failed 'shape' in preschool didn't you?

A potato?! I guess the Empire really went bargain basement in hiring out its contractors back. I can just see Darth Vader force-choking the life out of some stoned guy wearing a hardhat.

Thank You Heathansson. Thank you. This post totally made my day. Oh, thank you.

~raises and lowers hand quickly so as to not attract the attention of the cubicleschtapo~

Lamb: The Gospel according to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal
BY Christopher Moore

recently finished
Aint Nobody's Business if you Do
By Peter McWilliams
This book is fantastic! Even if you dont agree with all of it (and I sure as heck dont) it should be on everyone's shelf.

What I find truly distressing about the trailer for the new movie is that it looks NOTHING like the original. The only things I saw that it had in common were an island and a burning wicker man.

Whats with the bees? And where is Christopher Lee? And why are there car accidents and ghosts and . . . why didn't they just change the name altogether?

Now granted, sometimes when a movie is completely different it can still be a good movie. John Carpenter's "The Thing" is hardly a remake of the original. They are completely different (but still very entertaining) movies.

oh and also . . .
---SPOILER----

Maybe this detail has also changed in the remake but. . .

----SPOILER----

I just dont buy that Nicholas Cage is a virgin. that dude has seen more tail than a toilet seat

d13, please check the left-hand column page 294 of the 3.5 MM for an official explanation.

Marc, thanks for the kind words! :-D
Shame I can't quote you on my CV though. ;D

thanks for your help Mr. Thecleric.

It's CR x, because:

plague blight (CR 6)
Swarm-Shifter template (CR +1)
6 non-associated cleric levels (CR +3)
4 associated cleric levels (CR +4)
= total CR 14

Of course, you could advance the plague blight by 4 HD, giving it 10 HD. The CR then becomes:
10-HD plague blight (CR 6+1= 7)
Swarm-Shifter template (CR +1)
10 non-associated cleric levels (CR +5)
= total CR 13; slightly lower CR, tougher encounter. :-)

what exactly does "non-associated" mean in regards to the cleric levels? and why are they only good for 1/2 CR apiece?

The orcs will be Pepto pink, and drink that fluid in place of ale. You can start as a zombie, but only if you accept not leveling up until everyone else reaches third level because of the adjustment. I'm using OotS pantheons, so that's why the days have the same names. The first campaign will be about the rise of the cult of Banjo! And elves still fly on Teusdays. God, you guys are cramping all my artistic stylismishnessically. :)

I like this world! Its very creative and multi-faceted. Could I please play a surly fighter who doesn't talk much and has a mysterious past? if not I'd like to play a cunning, sneaky thief who picks his friend's pockets and gets first crack at all the loot. if not then I'd like to play a drow elf outcast who is throwing of the evil ways of his kind and wields two scimitars with deadly skill. if not - oop. excuse me. time for tellytubbies.

I would like to propose:

SusanDey
GladysDay
OtisDay
BillieHolliday
and DanielDay
Lewis

This seems as good a thread to ask this question as any.
As you read this, please take into account that my comprehension of CR and EL is pretty rudimentary at best.

When you are creating a monstrous baddie with class levels, and a template thrown in, how do you calculate their exact CR? Do you simply add everything together?

I am interested in creating a Plague Blight, Swarm Shifter (undead rats) with levels of cleric.

A Plague Blight has a CR of 6, Swarm Shifter adds 1 to this number (I am pretty sure I just read this from Libris Mortis) and I was thinking somewhere around 10 levels of cleric. Is that a total CR of 17? That seems a little high to me. I definitely want this bad guy to go up against my party but a CR of 17 is a teeny bit much.

Help me Team Paizo!

Whoops.
I totally misread your first post.
You obviously already have a game running, you are talking about using another side-campaign to fill in some story blanks.

I think this is a cool idea as well, just as long as the characters are rewarded with some revelation about the BBEG or the current state of affairs. Something nice and juicy that will help to balance out the fact that they are playing losers.

Perhaps you could even spark the side adventure by having someone relate a revealing story to the current PCs - only to then flashback to the storyteller as one of the side adventure PCs and his group.

Is that confusing?

This is a great idea. You may get a little crap from your players if they feel like their characters were doomed from the start, but since you are developing it as a sort of prologue to the actual campaign, I think its cool. Just make sure you keep the prologue short and sweet. The more attached they get to their prologue characters, the more they are going to fuss about their demise. This is also a cool way to introduce ideas, characters, items, etc. that will impact the actual campaign further down the road. Hell, you may even be able to come up with a good answer for the dreaded first adventure question:
Why the heck are these people together in the first place?

all these tie-ins... the way they spiral back to the tuber itself, are getting kind of creepy in a Lovecraftian sort of way. I think in we just may be decoding some kind of Spudonomicon.

"...there did writhe a mass of withered tentacles, too numerous for mortal comprehension, and from behind this phantasmagorical tumult watched a thousand eyes, peering beyond the abyssmal darkness to the limits of imagination"

from H.P. Lovecraft's "The Whisper from the Pantry"

I hear that after "The Wicker Man" Nick Cage is going to star in a film version of "The Equalizer"

All hail Edward Woodward!

Dont laugh. It could happen. . .

You are wise as I am foolish, teacher.

Beyond the senses are the objects,

from the Potato Upanishad

I believe it's clearly occulty enough to warrant a Time/Life book series.

If you open one of those books you will find that we are on the same page.

Back in the late eighties I was frontman for a hard rock group and I wore pants so tight that people called the resultant bulge The Potato.

Next time you front a rock band remember:

the Potato goes in the front.

The post that can be described
is not the untitled post.
The name that can be spoken
is not the untitled Name.

from the Post te Ching

I've known womenzizz who didn't care much for the potato.

Hemmingway's advice to women from "For Whom the Bell Tolls"

"Beware the Potato"

Menu/Horoscope advice to my girlfriend from my favorite Chinese Restaurant:

"Beware the Monkey"

Coincidence?
or evidence of the occult?

So... on the Seinfeldian subject of nothing in particular I offer a resoundingly hearty POTATOES CAN BE VERY TASTY.

That's my two cents.

Here's to wondering what the post was intended to discuss. I think it was to be about potatos.

POTATOES or potatos?

I just want to be clear before we hash this out.

Catacombs and Caverns Guide from 2e was pretty good.

is this the real title?

Pirates of the Fallen Stars (I think thats the title)was a 2nd edition FR book and has got lots of good pirate/seafaring tidbits.

I find the Paladin's handbook to be useful, but only because I have a Paladin in my current campaign. The details about atonement and revoking a Paladin's powers are nice.

I hate having to decide where to go on a honeymoon. Any suggestions?

I had a great time due to having AN ALL INCLUSIVE PACKAGE INCLUDING DRINKS. I can't emphasize that enough. Wherever you go, get an all inclusive package including alcohol. I was never drunk but always had some type of tropical drink in hand probably would've cost 4-5 hundred to cover my bar tab.

Fake Healer speaks wise words. All inclusive takes a lot of worries away.

Suggestions:
I've always wanted to go to Prague because of its great architecture, but I think honeymoons should be spent somewhere tropical.

My old roommates just took their honeymoon in Spain and France. They basically went through both countries hitting as many vineyards as they could. Sounded nice and romantic. and also drunk. very drunk.

I hate to say it, but sometimes you have to upset people. You can say "Hey, she had something bad happen to her" and go on respecting her feelings and stuff, but is she respecting anyone else's? Is it making Kahoolin happy having to talk her off the ledge every few weeks? Two years is a long time. And with all the "I'm going to die" stuff? C'mon, the girl needs to grow up. She doesn't sound very old (if her mother would be 42 today) and she is obviously immature. And it is clear to me, if not you, that she uses it as a way of controlling Kahoolin. That is sick, and extremely disrespectful of him and her mother's memory.

I cant really disagree with a lot of this. Depression is a wicked disease. Sometimes it can translate into an attempt by the depressed individual to control those around them. It's probably not a conscious effort on their part, but when you are struggling to come back to the surface, somtimes you drag others down with you. I certainly dont condone that behaivour, but it happens. And if that IS the case then it IS disrespectful to Kahoolin. Its an unhealthy relationship and he should try to find a way to get out.

But there are things you can say to help out the depressed individual and there are things you can say that wont help anything. "Snap out of it. Quit being a wet blanket" is not going to help her. Especially if, as we both agree on, this girl is immature. If she has spent two years being depressed, she isn't going to be snapped out of it with a quick dose of tough love. Two years is not a long time when you are trying to deal with the sudden death of a loved one. Two years is nothing. But two years does show enough of a pattern to warrant going to someone else to help - counsellors, psychologists, etc. Forcing all of those problems on Kahoolin is only going to cause deeper problems on BOTH sides.

But, I don't know the girl even if I reckon I know the type. And I don't know Kahoolin, and maybe it isn't appropriate to "discuss"...

If Kahoolin doesn't want us to discuss it, he needs only say the word and I will edit and delete all my posts. If that was the case, however, I dont think he would have posted anything on the boards to begin with.

Most of all I hate that my girlfreind is under a huge amount of stress at university and has been suffering a recurring depression ever since her mother suddenly died of an embolism(at age 40)two years ago. She is terrified of death, and after a particularly bad few months she had just gotten into a good mood again like two days ago.

And now this happened and I'll have to spend the next few months telling her it's OK, she's not going to die and I'm not going to die, and then getting the "you don't know that!" answer in return, to which there isn't much you can honestly say but "well, no..."

You can blame your girlfriend though. Jeez, tell her to lighten up and stop being such a wet blanket. All this morbid stuff strikes as attention-seeking. Tell her to snap out - it will upset her for a while, but she will be better for it

No. I'm sorry. This is terrible advice. Do NOT tell someone whose mother died suddenly of an embolism 2 years ago to "snap out of it". If it was my mother and you said that to me, I would strike you down where you stood.

Death comes knocking on all our doors in the end. Who isn't terrified of it?

This is very true. There are plenty of cliches that you can throw at someone, "no one is promised tomorrow, live each day like your last, etc." but standing on the other side of that chasm, the crippling, fearful, insanely debilitating depressing side - it can look like an impossibly huge leap to make. Ideally she will come to realize that all the cliches are true and that there is incredible freedom in "living for today" but you are not going to help her any by saying "snap out of it - quit being such a wet blanket"

But she's making you feel bad, and you don't have to put up with that.

Also true. Ask yourself how you fit into the situation and be honest with yourself. Maybe its not worth it to you. Maybe her depression is making you depressed too. If this is true it can descend rapidly into an ugly relationship. This girl is damaged goods. If my mother died unexpectedly of an ebolism, I would be damgaged too. Do you feel like you are helping her grow out of the situation? Or are you sinking with the ship? Sometimes you can help the person on their way to recovery. Other times you need to make a break for it so they can make the journey themselves.

Last time I checked, faith was believing in something - is your faith so weak that you can't listen to what someone has to say and make your own conclusions and reason things out for yourself? Does it threaten your faith that badly? Is it faith, or blinding yourself to anything you don't want to hear?

Reminds me of the clamor when "The Da Vinci Code" movie came out this year. I had to laugh at all those religious groups who saw it as a threat to Christianity and demanded people boycott the movie. Supposedly, many of these groups thought that people who saw the movie would believe that the details contained therein were TRUE.

They didn't want people to get suckered into believing a fictional story.

Is that irony or just coincidence?

I hate the way that the editorial is becoming the main platform for the media. Perhaps it has always been this way but it seems more pronounced today than ever. The news is no longer about reporting the facts and letting the reader/viewer form their own decisions - it is about a personality telling you how they feel and why you should feel the same way. Thats fine if I am purposefully reading an op-ed piece in the Times or tuning to the O'Reilly Factor to see how quickly I can disagree with the man - but the recent editorial deluge has become more popular than ACTUAL NEWS.

Bill O'Reilly, Hannity & Colmes, Glenn Beck, Nancy Grace, Keith Ohlberman, Donny Deutsch, Geraldo & Moustache, etc., dont we have enough of this tripe?

Freedom of Speach is one of the cornerstones of the American foundation, we must never lose sight of the depth of the power and beauty of this right - but I feel like the media has taken a serious MTV turn lately. MTV used to be a channel that showed music videos. It was a channel about music (yes about marketing too, but just listen) that somewhere along the way stopped. . .playing music? wtf? Its now about just about every other aspect of garbage pop culture and the videos are few and far between. Its a silly metaphor, but I feel like the American Media is doing the same thing. There has become increasingly less room for fact because opinion is such a hot selling ratings boost. Wasn't it about the truth at some point?

Heaven forbid that the viewers get interested enough in the facts to form their own opinion. No! Instead the media is going to filter it through someone else's opinion and boy oh boy - we just cant seem to get enough of the great tasting h@*@%*@#$. MMMmmmmmMMMMM!
Tastes just like the truth!
WAKE THE F@#K UP YOU MORONS!

Also. . .

I hate things that beep at me. Alarm clocks, copy machines, and that annoying beep at the gas pump that reminds me to "please pay cashier". You think I'm just going to drive off? Oh why can't Artifical Intelligence hurry up so I can tell these machines to back the F@#K off?

I used to live in a National Forest for awhile and played a lot of D&D outdoors. My group played in an open air tent that over the course of the summer became known as "Leomund's Tiny Hut".
All of the above posts are great suggestions.
The wind is your enemy. Clipboards and paperweights are a very good idea.

When you are picking your spot, try and find someplace that can easily accomodate a light source. If you guys are going to use a lantern, its better to have it resting securely in a tree then having it sit on the table and take up valuable space. A general light source shining on the table from on high will be a boon to everyone.

For the more general camping needs I would only add this -
bring one more pair of socks than you think you will need.

'cuz wet feet suck.

Quint's (Robert Shaw's)U.S.S. Indianapolis Monologue from Jaws
It has been mentioned before, but it is my favorite all time movie moment.

Other notables:

The monologue at the beginning of PATTON.

The final scene in DR. STRANGELOVE
"we'll meet agaaaaaaaain. . .!"

The "Mr. Video" scene from SPACEBALLS
"when will THEN be NOW?"
"SOON"

The long tracking shot that covers all of the carnage that Travis Bickle just caused at the end of TAXI DRIVER. The picture of the mohawked Robert De Niro putting his finger to his head and mock-blowing his brains out. Watch the long drip of blood run off his finger. Thats a messed up image!

Smeagol saying "What did you call me?" to Frodo in the Two Towers.

Lando asking Princess Leia if she'd like to join him outside for some "refreshment".
refreshment.
lol.
make a note of it people - when Billy Dee Williams asks you to join him for some "refreshment", he aint talkin' about coca-cola! or Colt .45 for that matter. . .
is that Barry White in the background?

just about every scene from Monty Python's MEANING OF LIFE.

there are so many more. . .