Because I can't bear to leave such a masterpiece unfinished. Now with footnotes!
The complete "I'm in a Barn" rap
Oh s**t! Get your trowels ready
Everybody in the place hit the f****n' hay
But stay on your motherf*****g toes
We running this, let's go
I'm in a barn (in a barn)
I'm in a barn (in a barn)
Everybody look at me
'Cause I'm waiting in a barn
I'm in a barn (in a barn)
I'm in a barn (in a barn)
Take a good hard look
At the motherf*****g barn
I'm in a barn, motherf****r; and I need to boast
Straight waitin' in this barn in this trading post
'Ll be bustin' some skulls, sis whippin' out their throats
You can't stop me motherf****r 'cause I'm next to goats
Write a ballad, bard! I'm in a barn, b***h!
Drinkin' water from a catfish though it makes me sick.
Got my longspear, and my eidolon,
Preppin' violence; you in the courtyard
Straight sittin' on the lawn.
I'm next to the horses, there are some cows too
The horses whinny, and the cows go "moo"
But I ain't Old MacDonald; I'm as real as it gets
I'm in a barn motherf****r, don't you ever forget.
I'm in a barn and, it's really big and
I'm waiting for the signal to start the plan
I'm the king of the world, in a barn like Jesus
If you in the courtyard then you sure not me, yes.(1)
GET THE F**K UP, THIS BARN IS REAL!
F**k outside, I'm in a barn, motherf****r
F**k sky, I look at rafters, motherf****r
I'm in the barn with some sheep, motherf****r
Most of the sheep are asleep, motherf****r
Hey ma, if you could see me now
Holdin' my longspear next to this cow
I'm gonna turn this barn into a golem somehow
Like a Rank 0 diety,(2) anything is possible
Yeah, never thought I'd be in a barn
It's is really quite large
Erastil,(3) look at me
Never thought I'd see the day
With a big barn all full of hay
Believe me when I say... I f****d a mermaid!(4)
I'm in a barn (in a barn)
I'm in a barn (in a barn)
Everybody look at me
'Cause I'm waiting in a barn
I'm in a barn (in a barn)
I'm in a barn (in a barn)
Take a good hard look
At the motherf*****g barn
(1)Probably the worst rhyme in here.
(2)Rank 0 is the lowest tier of dieties, but still possessed of the ability to alter reality.
(3)God of farming
(4)Yeah, still a mermaid. Doesn't matter that they're not in barns, because Klinn's that awesome.