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Bloodless Vessel

Zombie Pizza Delivery Girl's page

147 posts. Alias of Slaad-Barr.


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1 to 50 of 147 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | next > last >>

Ah ain't had no baf in sew long ah kant a'member win. {climbs into cauldron} Ya dun gots da water awl toasty warm fur meh too.


Ya maight wanna use sum smoked paprika two, Mammeh. Ah'll hep ya chop uhp sum garlik and teh Trinity fuh da gumbo.


Wut?


Ah-yup.


Ayup.


Two by two, pigeons of blue


Wut?


Wut


Wut.


Ah thunk dey dun went lookun fer dey pitchforks uhn torches. Sumpin bout lynchun trolls dey spotted lurken in duh neighburrhood.

Ahm still keepin ah lookout on dat barn fur dat wiley hippeh pigeon.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Ever since I joined the ranks of the heartbeat challenged, I find I need a little more fiber.


The Crimson Jester, Rogue Lord wrote:
Maybe I can buy a few votes this time. Steal the election!

{picks up shovel} I'm headed out to the cemetery to dig-, er, round up some more voters. Wanna come?

Did anyone ever tell you your head looks like a ripe juicy melon? Mmmmmm, melon brainnnnnnnnnns...


Aim for his bong!


Rekkin


Ah think Darth iz weighten on thet hippeh George Lucas ta dub in his "Noooooooo!" line


I used to like this guy. What'd we ever do to him?


You watcha you mouth, Harpo. Dis'a family thread; you donna wan a lil' zombie to overhear dat kinda language.


Kavren Stark is banned for preaching Otherness against brain-eaters. And I think Zylphryx prefers the more racially-sensitive term, "Facehugger"... doesn't that sound more friendly? He just wants to hug your face. :)


Hmmm, now I want a module that involves resolves settling an undead farmworkers' strike in Geb, who are striking for union representation and better working conditions.


Callous Jack wrote:
Does this thread necromancy mean you're now a zombie thieves guild?

Does that mean their membership consists only of undead thieves, or do they only steal the undead?


Treppa wrote:
I thought the title of this thread was "Wisconson Undead Farm Kids..."

{shambles in looking for Aberzombie} "Cheeeeeeeeeeeeze..." {pauses to readjust orange triangular foam wedge hat}


Vic Wertz wrote:

Keep an eye out.

Maybe on the Paizo Blog. Or the news page. Or both.

Oooo, I tried that but my eye wouldn't stick to the LCD screen, and fell off. It rolled off the table, and onto the floor, and now my dried-out eyeball, rolled out the door...

I'm also now oddly hungry for pah'skitty.


Hudax wrote:
Needs more cowbell.

AUGH! It's one of the Walken Dead! {aims shotgun} <BLAM!>


Spanky the Leprechaun wrote:
Did we win yet? I want a shower.
Spanky the Leprechaun wrote:

I want to go to Starbuck's and take a sink shower.

They support us, right? Kinda like Hot Topic?

With your obsession with cleanliness, I'm starting to suspect Comrade Spanky isn't an actual dirty hippeh!

-10 points to House Heathendore!


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Janinny Garofailo wrote:

"Hulks are probably well liked by some of the Republicans because it hides the anti-munchkin elements of the Republican party. Conservative movement and tea party movement, one in the same.

"People like Karl Rove liked to keep the anti-munchkinism very covert. And so Hulks provide this great opportunity say you can say 'Look, this is not a anti-munchkin, anti-immigrant, anti-female, anti-gay movement. Look we have a munchkin race.'"

Bah! I've seen your so-called optimizing efforts, and they iz weak!

If you're not optimizing your race for a syntheist summoner uber-build, you're clearly deficient in your RDA of tiger blood and WINNING! Also, Ben Stiller is waaaaaaaaaaay overrated as a comedic actor.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Janinny Garofailo wrote:
RRRAAAAAAAAAACISSSSSSSTS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Actually, you're in the wrong forum. The racists (they're Advanced, btw) are over here.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Snark the Sloblin wrote:

And I'm going to make an even MORE obscure post to show I am hipper and know more than YOU!

1 vv177 3v3n vvr1t3 1n 1337 5p341< 50 1t5 3v3n 1<3vv73r!

AUGH! Durn hippeh! Ya senden out sekrit messidges lek sum durn Commie numb3rs station!!! Wurs CH and his trusty shotgun win we all needs him?


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Aberzombie wrote:

Damn you people! Tormenting me with your dog ownership!

shakes fist

But you have a little zombie to play with. Hmmm, maybe this'll help?


Sara Marie wrote:
Jess Door wrote:
It's practically a crime there's not a single mite avatar! You have so much art that could go there!

Does this one not count?

That's a mite? I thought that was just a Yoda who hadn't had his morning coffee(s) yet. Or eaten any morning heads yet.

Brainnnnnnnnnnnnns?


Zombie Guy wrote:

[zombie]People are not getting the point.[/zombie]

BRAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!

Hi, I'm Sally Smothers. As you can see, poor zombies are starving in this thread. Nothing to eat anywhere in sight. Won't you help? Please, donate a brain today.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Tibibe Nanba wrote:

omg yes! love it haha.

needs zombie abs. & overpriced torn denim. & an overbearing scent of FIERCE.

Now all we need is a Zombie Tim Gunn.


Messageboard Troll wrote:
Zombie Pizza Delivery Girl wrote:

...Is this true?

Does that mean we should use chainsaws to deal with babies, too?

I don't know, but I'm not going near a diaper without a flamethrower and a hazmat suit.


Dear President Aberzombie,

Now I'm even more confused about where babies come from. Is this true?

Sincerely,
ZPDG


Aberzombie wrote:

overheard sometime in the future

Paizo Employee #1: Hey, we got this big box from someone named Aberzombie.

Paizo Employee #5: What's in it?

Paizo Employee #1: Not sure. But I swear I can hear some scratching sound from the inside.

Paizo Employee #5: Let's open it?

sounds of box being opened

Aberzombie: Brainnnnnnsssss......

Paizo Employee #5: OH GOD! MY FACE!!! HE'S EATING MY FACE!!!!

Walking Dead, season 3?

Why isn't it August 4th yet? The wait... Arrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!


Burbles wrote:
floats belly up at the surface of the bowl

{nibbles on his fishy noggin for brainnnnnnnnnnns}

Can fishies become zombies? That sounds like a SyFy movie: Zombie Piranhas.


He's got my vote, and Chicago-style, all of my aliases too.


Crimson Jester wrote:

Charges, you want charges!!!

~ZAP~

How was that?!?!
~ZAP~

I see you've been playing with trolls in your spare time, so you clearly aren't using your brain. Would you care to donate it to Feeding the Heartbeat-Challenged? {drools a little}


Samnell wrote:
Thelemic_Noun wrote:
Zombie outbreaks make no sense. Remember that time a dog got rabies and then a few weeks later every dog in the city had rabies? Biting is a horrible way to spread an epidemic, even when it doesn't make you retarded. They don't even need to figure out how it's being spread; it's the guy biting people. Shoot him in the head.
This seems apt.

YES! Cracked is easily the pinnacle of investigative scientific reporting. You should trust them 100%. We poor, nearly harmless heartbeat-challenged clearly pose no danger to any of you 98.6 degree-conformists. No threat, just ignore us.


Crimson Jester wrote:

...Now hold still.

~ZAP~

{shuffles feet across the carpet, touches the Jester} ~~~~~ZAP!~~~~~


Casper the Brain-Eating Ghost wrote:
ulgulanoth wrote:
brains, souls!
If you an catch the souls before they escape, they're all yours.

Oooo, PokeSoul! Gotta soul trap them all!


{casts Reanimate Thread}

Ya know, I kinda expect the pro-hearbeat propagandist bias in the media, but now they aren't even trying to appear fair. Just look at this libelous bile:

Hippeh Blogger with Undeadist Agenda wrote:

The Zombie Disorder

Consciousness Deficit Hypoactivity Disorder (CDHD): The loss of rational, voluntary, and conscious behavior replaced by delusional/impulsive aggression, stimulus-driven attention, the inability to coordinate motor linguistic behaviors, and an insatiable appetite for human flesh.

That's the definition of a TROLL, you insensitive clod. We undead are the Heatbeat-Challenged.


{stomach rumbles} All this talk is making me hungry.

{shuffles off to kitchen} Rats, all I have is a piece of Mom's pumpkin pie.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

{looks in bag, sighs} "I got a rock." [/Charlie Brown]


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Meh, I'm only a minor deific servitor. When I'm summoned, I make pizza and soft drinks appear. Also, I can travel much faster (and much more recklessly) than most mortals... at least between here and the store.


Mairkurion {tm} wrote:
Zombie Pizza Delivery Girl wrote:
Samnell wrote:
I learned the hard way that much bad comes of worrying too much about the approval of others.

Brave Hobbitses.

What's taters, precious? What's taters, eh?

Honey, he ain't no hobbit. I damn well guarantee it. (Unless...Sackville-Bagginses?)

Yes. <gollum> But perhaps we sits here and chats with it a bitsy, my precious. It likes riddles?


Samnell wrote:
I learned the hard way that much bad comes of worrying too much about the approval of others.

Brave Hobbitses.

What's taters, precious? What's taters, eh?


It's dusty in here... I like it.

Oooo, a kitty! {drools} Mmmm, kitties... (NSFSqueamish)

Edit: Added NSFS warning. Sorry, CJ.


Didja sees a wombat roun dese parts? Ah hur dey eats dingos.


Leafar the Lost wrote:
Do not be confused, Aberzombie, for I will place my mark on you, and you the Life of Leafar! You will command my undead legions, and lead them on an attack of all the other lands. They will know the Law of Leafar, and they will see the Light of Leafar! I will take away your confusion once and for all...

but:

Leafar the Lost wrote:

...This is a spell I created and named after myself, and I am going to cast it on everyone who has posted on this thread...

THE LIGHT OF LEAFAR
Evocation [Light]...

The Light of Leafar causes a globe of searing radiance to explode silently from a point you select...

An undead creature caught within the globe takes 1d6 points of damage per caster level (maximum 25d6), or half damage if a Reflex save is successful. In addition, the light results in the destruction of any undead creature specifically harmed by bright light if it fail its save.

Why are you threatening the innocent heartbeat challenged?


Chubbs McGee wrote:

Doing the killing: fine!

Being killed: sucks!

Once you get over the initial trauma, being killed isn't so bad. Plus, if you're lucky, you might even join the ranks of the heartbeat-challenged.

{nibbles on Chubb's noggin}

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