Xaaon of Xen'Drik's page

And I think we are done here.

Nothing else of any interest is being added and the discussion is wandering about, looking for fights to pick. Lets just close this one down and move on.

Thanks for the opinions folks. They have been noted.

Jason Bulmahn
Lead Designer
Paizo Publishing

As a GM i had a healbot cleric with the freedom or liberty domain in a group once, combined with a barbarian and a psion. It was cruel. The cleric didnt hit anything, but he destroyed the gameplay effectively. I had to change the whole adventure module because of him and his stupid freedom of movement aura and healing. The barbarian didnt care about anything because the cleric just healed any damage, he could concentrate on pure mayhem, what he did of course very well, also buffed by cleric a little and a lot by the psion. I had to triple the amount of foes to let them feel something. Also the cleric player got really bored because he didnt get much playtime and started roleplaying his characters sausage addiction a little too much. I abused it to make him sickened and nauseated a lot.

Resume for me: I would never ever allow such a character at one of my tables again. It´s boring for the player. It takes out many potentially thrilling moments, especially the aura. So it gets kind of boring for the other players too. And its not so good for the GM, because you always have to think about situations. Ok you do that anyway, but it really gets different. And if there are only a handfull of conditions left at level 7 or 8 that can touch your players, it gets redundant a lot. What is boring too.

The XP costs in the old system topped out at about 4,000xp for a 200,000gp item, which is pretty paltry to a high level character that needs 500,000xp to get their next level (especially considering the time requirements). We did, at one point in time, consider a complicated scaling system to keep the xp costs and keep them relevant, but it was just more trouble than its worth. The MIC system is already convoluted and open to abuse without careful monitoring by an active GM.

In the end, we decided that the sort of "fake" cost paid to make items and cast spells was simply not worth the design space for the payout it was supposed to simulate.

XP costs for spells and magic items will not be coming back. If you feel you need them for your game, by all means, add them back in, but they will not be returning to the core mechanics.

Jason Bulmahn
Lead Designer
Paizo Publishing

There is a well established ethical doctrine that it is always wrong to negotiate with terrorists. If you don't like your players making you uncomfortable don't put them in moral dilemmas where a common school of real world ethics gives an answer you're not comfortable with.

It is very easy to argue that they did the least bad thing they could. In the context surrender would be evil and the good of rescuing the children would not be guaranteed. Indeed, if RD'd been going with the illusion plan in the first place surrender would have been completely futile.

It's one thing to refuse to negotiate with terrorists. It's another thing entirely to shoot the hostages yourself. :P

You keep attacking my position like you want me to think fighting back is impossible. I don't get your motivation. I'm not claiming I know how to win that fight consistently. Just that I think it can be.

Fighting back is certainly possible. I just don't get your motivation for insisting you do it bare handed. My motivation, as far as i have one, would be to get you to realize that if your life is on the line taking out your own knife, grabbing an improvised weapon, or better yet the ancient art of Run-Fu are better ideas. The confluence of circumstances where you can't run away, the person is actively trying to kill rather than rob you , and you can't be armed seems so rare that driving back and forth to the dojo would be more hazardous to your health.

If you're expecting to be mugged, carry two wallets. One has your real money in it, the other has about 10 bucks. You use that wallet when you pay for soda etc. Someone robs you, you hand them that wallet.

Dresden Files

Traveller

I love that archetypes are (on average) weaker but more specific than base classes. It's the only sane design to avoid power creep.

Entered all 5 years, last year my item went to the keep folder. I've got a thread showcasing the progress I've hopefully made, you can find it under the rpgsuperstar general discussion.

Anyway, my advice would be to not limit yourself to RPG Superstar, I love the competition and chance that Paizo is offering but there are other freelancing opportunities available - if that is what you seek.

I just want a spiffy Paizo tag behind my name, be it RPG superstar or contributor ;>

My goodness. I hope not. I just left WoTC to go to Pathfinder as I was tired of the instability that D&D had to offer these days. I'm tired of new editions and I'm also tired of buying books that become obsolete within a month of owning.

I actually enjoyed 4th edition, although I never considered it superior to 3.5...just different. I think the last straw was seeing the game wasn't going to be supported much anymore as they plan on putting all their efforts into a new edition., plus the fact that I am fed up with the whole notion that I am left outside if I cannot log onto to the internet one day or my printer is acting up.

I want pencils and paper again. I want to roll dice for my character stats again. Hence, a week ago a decided to move toward Pathfinder.

SO far, what I've read has been awesome. I have spent over $200 on Pathfinder material, and I have liked what I've read and can't wait to get re-aquainted with 3.5 and try out the new stuff from Paizo. The last thing I want to read now is a new edition.

I think pathfinder 2.0 should have fighters who can only swing a sword a certain way once per day and who cannot be made into top notch archers.

and lets dump craft skills, and profession skills and a social interaction skills.

In fact why don't we make PF 2.0 all about tactical combat and narrowly define the half dozen types of action you can make and claim it opens up new vistas.

and lets not forget to use a bunch of ads that shame people who stick with pathfinder 1.0

So you think the best time to alienate customers by requiring them to purchase a whole new set of expensive books is when your biggest competitor is alienating theirs as well? Bad, bad idea.

In this thread, I will be presenting one-hundred new archetypes (five archetypes per PC base class, presented in alphabetical order by class name, followed by an appendix of one archetype per NPC class). I encourage posters to let me know what they want to see as I move forward. I won't be taking specific requests for archetype concepts and mechanics, but I will be taking other poster's likes, dislikes, and critiques into consideration when choosing and designing future archetypes.

Given the fact that archetypes are drawn from popular fantasy tropes, and that large numbers of archetypes have already been published by numerous parties, I suspect that many of the archetype concepts I will post in this thread are ones that already exist in one form or another. I will, however, try my best to create archetypes that do things in new and interesting ways. I won't intentionally copy or take inspiration any existing archetype, aside from those in the PRD which I look to as examples.

Feel free to follow along and let me know what you think of my archetypes. My one request is that you please not post your own archetypes (or revisions of my archetypes) in this thread. Anything you can do to keep feedback in this thread short and succinct will help me track other posters comments and allow me to better tailor my archetypes to the needs of the community as a whole. Thanks.

Now, on to some archetypes...

Monks suffer from a unique affliction that is quite obvious when you observe all the threads about them.

Almost everyone sees the monk and tries to compare it to a fighter.

This weird sort of view is a result of everyone holding onto the ideal of the Advanced D&D monkl, which WAs a match for the fighter. After 3.0 they were seriously dropped in power, and no one ever bothered to correct this viewpoint. Pathfinder did, but they didn't make it obvious enough.

Monks are not a full melee class - the only class you should be comparing a monk to is a rogue, not a fighter.
-3/4 BAB.
-Skills centered on movement and dealing with people.
-A conditional attack that does atypical amounts of damage: the Flurry of Blows (this is the one that fools everyone into thinking they're some kind of fighter class, when it should be looked at like the rogues sneak attack and treated as such).
-A host of abilities designed to help deliver singular attacks backed by save-or-suck and save-or-lose abilities OR to help them get to where allies can be helped to do the most effective attacks possible (repositioning enemies for spells to take effect, flanking with rogues, getting the potion of healing to a badly injured ally, etc.).
-medium AC (similar to the bard, summoner, alchemist, and other 3/4 combatants who are not full casters).
-Abilities and saves that make them less likely to be affected by powers and abilities that would render other characters helpless or out of the fight.

This is touched upon by their role explanation in the Core book:
Monks excel at overcoming even the most daunting perils, striking where it's least expected, and taking advantage of enemy vulnerabilities. Fleet of foot and skilled in combat, monks can navigate any battlefield with ease, aiding allies wherever they are needed most.

Yet everyone tries to play monks like they are fighters, rather than what they are designed to be played as - a 3/4 BAB non-full-caster who has a set of abilities designed to hinder enemies and make it easier for other people to kill them, rather than directly killing enemies themselves. The problem with monks tends to be the player's mindsets, more than anything mechanical.

I took the liberty of combining the entries into a single listing, and the list wound up with 105 items, due to duplicate numbers. Certain themes were used repeatedly [i.e. dancing], so I grouped those together by type, and added a few new items.

Let me apologize in advance for anyone's work I've altered in order to fit in the list. I hope no one gets too upset that I edited their entry.

And now, the list:

What are the goblins up to?

1. Making rope out of human hair. A coil 1d100 feet long is already complete.

2. Boiling up a pot of mud and gravel stew.

3. Singing. Roll 1d6:
1. A group of goblins sing songs about hidden treasure.
2. Several goblins sing annoying and gross children's songs, such as:
"Great big gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts,
mutilated monkey meat, little birdies’ bloody feet
all piled up with purple opossum pus,
tatses real good with a spoon, but I got a straw."
3. A goblin mother teaches her sons and daughters how to sing. The sound comes directly from hell.
4. Goblin choir practice. A group of goblins sings hymns to fire while the choir director kicks members in the groin for mistakes.
5. Goblin Scream Orchestra. Is any explanation really needed?
6. As above, but screaming captives are ‘played’ as instruments (String? Bow? Percussion?)

4. Playing poker with blank cards. The printing on the cards is visible only to creatures with darkvision.

5. Dancing. Roll 1d6:
1. Goblins havin a hootenanny! Complete with jug and washboard...
2. Goblin strippers are dancing lasciviously (grotesquely) in front of a crowd of cheering males who are throwing copper pieces at them and hooting.
3. Goblin wedding dance, featuring a fiddle and a concertina that one goblin seems to know how to play, almost anyway. Well-wishers throw tindertwigs (unlit) at the horrible – er, happy – couple.
4. Dance of tribal ferocity. Warriors cavort to awe a visitor from another tribe with their martial prowess. Everyone in the room is fully armed and ready to fight.
5. Jam session. In a spontaneous, if peculiar, display of musical talent, a group of goblin music lovers are improvising a tune with a kazoo, some bagpipes, an upturned kettle played by one goblin pounding his head against it, and one goblin making rude noises using his armpit.
6. Goblin mosh pit. As a goblin bard performs onstage, drunken fangoblins bounce around with frenzied abandon. As the PCs arrive, fisticuffs have broken out, transforming the concert into an all-out melee. All goblins suffer 1d2 subdual damage. There is a 50% chance that the stage has been set on fire.

6. Playing tenpins with a skull and some legbones.

7. Interrogating a rat tied to a tiny chair. "I'm gonna ask you one last time: Where is the cheese?"

8. Building a house of cards with the deck #4 above.

9. Discussing the pros and cons of sexual congress with a wide variety of other monsters and races.

10. Eating meat pie. The pie might be stirge, or it might be pixie. The goblins can't remember what they put in it.

11. Debating the crisis of succession that would arise from the untimely demise of the current goblin king.

12. Shining shoes of various sizes (kobold to ogre). They all radiate faintly under detect magic but have no known powers.

13. Three words: bunny eating contest.

14. Sewing filthy rags into patchwork tunics. If a completed tunic is worn it protects as +1 padded armour. If the garment is cleaned the magic fades. 1d3 tunics have been completed.

15. Drawing obscene graffiti on the dungeon walls. Roll 1d12 for their chosen medium.
1. Chalk in assorted colours.
2. A wild mix of paints stolen from a nearby town.
3. Fecal matter, assorted types.
4. Blood, using the still-bleeding bodies of small animals as paintbrushes.
5. Mud and grass.
6. A paste made of various berries and leaves, mashed together.
7. Insect guts.
8. Eggs.
9. Alchemist’s fire, which is subsequently ignited.
10. Fire pit ash and burned bits of wood.
11. The horrid, sludgy bits from the bottom of the cook pot.
12. Some substance that defies identification, even magical.

16.Arguing vehemently over the proposition that cannibalism should be kept strictly in the family.

17. Strip chess tournament. There's a 1 in 6 chance at least some of the goblins are already in the all-together. Not a sight for the faint of heart.

18. Pickling sliced shrieker. 1d20 jars are done.

19. Dress up. The goblins are… (roll 1d4):
1. …trying on pretty pink dresses.
2. …dressing up in children's clothing.
3. …dressed up in human clothing, shrieking in garbled Common (or maybe just saying "Bah, bah, bah, bah.") and hitting each other with sticks.
4. …standing on each others’ shoulders, sporting a dress and high heels. One goblin keeps saying, "I am a lady," over and over.

20. Throwing trash at a tied up dog.

21. Having a fermented urine drinking contest.

22. Cooking a horseleg on an open fire.

23 Playing swords with broken chairlegs.

24. Having a fight over a straw-doll. The doll ripped, and now one of the goblins is drawing his dogchopper to kill the one who ripped it.

25. Goblins are gathered around, eating another goblin’s corpse.

26. Goblins play hide and seek. One is counting, "3...4...7...2...10!"

27. Goblins playing with blocks...made from feces and mud.

28. Throwing cards from #4 above into a helmet. None are going in since they forgot to remove the head...

29. Fighting each other, just a mass of legs and arms and weapons, half-concealed by kicked-up dust, with a few bodies lying around. If interrupted, they don't even remember how it started...

30. Playing 'pin the tail on the donkey' with a tied up halfling. Drunken or just dizzy goblins are staggering around blindfolded, poking randomly with knives. The winner is the one who stabs the halfling and not one of the other goblins.

31. Having an arrow-catching contest to determine who gets to be leader. Things aren't going well.

32. Listening to a rousing speech that has them on the verge of changing their entire culture.

33. Seeing who can dribble snot or saliva out of their mouth, make the longest string, and then suck it back up without breaking. One goblin is cheating.

34. Playing "Keep Away" with knives.

35. Fighting over a broken spyglass, each arguing that only he knows how to fix it.

36. Peeing contest. Roll 1d4 to determine what type of competition:
1. Distance
2. Quantity
3. Duration
4. Aim - the DM should determine an appropriate target.
5. Height
6. Who can stay the driest during the contest - details are best left to the imagination.

37. Taking turns making up dirty limericks that don't rhyme.

38. Poking a fire with a stick.

39. Throwing small animals against a wall, and screaming with glee.

40. One goblin has somehow managed to dye his head purple, and the others are trying to make him tell how. The purple-headed goblin doesn't remember, but claims it has something to do with the latrine.

41. Throwing dogslicers at a crude target made of a human or dog torso.

42. "Troll on a board" is being devoured by goblins, regenerating while the goblins attempt to eat until they pop...

43. Goblin juggling three rats. The show ends with the three rats going "plop, plop, plop," into its toothy maw. The juggler grins, with 2 tails and a rat head hanging out of its teeth.

44. Goblin doing a pantomime of a local king, it's crown made of rat bones, the other goblins are throwing rotten food at him...a sign of great respect amongst goblins.

45. Goblins trying to catch a giggling goblin child running around in the buff.

46. Goblins playing ball with the head of a goblin dog lover.

47. Blood-soaked goblins playing jump rope with horse intestines...

48. Hungry goblins wait for the goblin chef to serve the freshly roasted puppy.

49. Goblin juggling knives. The show ends with the three knives going "plop, plop, plop" into the juggler’s toothy maw...as it falls over dead.

50. There were some goblins who lived in a shoe...of a storm giant.

51. Goblins playing catch the kitty cat. The goblins are covered in scratches, the cat is beyond insane...

52. Goblin Hard Head Contest! Goblins are taking turns running full-tilt into a stone wall, head first. The current players are surrounded by the unconscious forms and corpses of previous players.

53. Goblins viewing the paintings in their fecal finger paiting museum. The goblins are gesticulating and making additions to the art.

54. Goblins making a sculpture of a dog out of a barrel of lard they stole during their last raid.

55. Having an Otyugh-feces eating contest. PCs must make a DC 20 Fort save or be sickened.

56. Playing 'Wish Chicken'. Two goblins grab a live chicken by a leg (traditionally, they grab different legs but sometimes there is confusion on this part). The goblins then pull the chicken until the chicken tears in two parts. The winner is the one that has the biggest piece. The prize is (duh) the biggest piece; the goblin got his wish. Variants include ‘Wish Frog’, ‘Wish Cat’, and the goblins’ favourite: 'Wish Dog’.

57. Goblin stew. goblins are "taking a bath" in a large cauldron, while others slowly add wood to the fire.

58. Slip ‘n’ slide. goblins run across the room and slide on a pile of offal and refuse.

59. Cataloguing. One goblin is trying to inventory everything they got in their last raid, so she's having other goblins break open the wine casks, food bags and other boxes to see what's inside. The mess created is ruining everything.

60. Goblin martial training. A group of goblins are trying unsuccessfully to hit a fake human in the distance, with half a dozen spears broken around the target. Onlookers are laughing and taunting the poor aim of their fellows. The catch: whoever actually hits the fake human target has to retrieve all the spears, becoming a live target for the others to throw more spears at.

61. Goblin darts. The goblins take turns sitting on a ballista while their teammates aim and shoot them at a target on the wall.

62. Exploring the uses of sovereign glue. Roll d12 to see what gets stuck:
1. Goblin stuck to wall (trying to use the glue to spider climb).
2. Goblin's mouth glued shut (thought he could eat it).
3. Two goblins stuck together are trying to kill a third goblin with glue bottle.
4. Goblin glued to goblin dog (got tired of falling off).
5. Goblin stuck to the floor.
6. 500 gold pieces glued to a goblin.
7. Goblins glued an ogre to the floor right next to the doorway.
8. Human prisoner stuck to the ceiling (live or dead).
9. Halfling prisoner glued hand and foot to 2 boards and forced to walk around, carrying heavy loads.
10. Goblin's hands stuck to his head.
11. A goblin has been glued into a dog skin as a practical joke.
12. Goblin’s hand is stuck to the glue jar. He’s trying to extricate himself with his dogchopper.

63. Goblins jumping rope...with razor wire.

64. Big "who-can-shout-Lamashtu-the-most-often-the-fastest" contest

65. Anatomy Bingo with prisoners.

66. Blindfolded fencing.

67. Insult contest (PCs are asked to join).

68. Goblins dancing around a hole chanting, “SEVEN! SEVEN! SEVEN!” If anyone approaches to ask what they're doing, the goblins rush the guy, toss him into the hole, and start chanting, “EIGHT! EIGHT! EIGHT!”

69. Playing ‘pin the ears on the elf,’ with real elves.

70. Napalm sticks to kids. A horrible accident involving a barrel of alchemist's fire has just occurred in this chamber. 1d6 goblins are running in random directions, on fire. They are shrieking in pain between bouts of laughter and squeals of delight at the fire. Any goblin moving toward the PCs may make an overrun attempt against the PCs in an attempt to escape, provoking an attack of opportunity. The goblins have a +2 circumstance bonus to their Combat Maneouvre Bonus (Pathfinder beta rules, pg. 150). If successful, any PC who is overrun must make a DC 12 Reflex save to avoid catching on fire. Failure results in the PC suffering 1d6 fire damage per round until the flames are extinguished. DC +2 for each goblin that makes such a bull rush attempt. The DM may opt to just have the goblins run around, and not endanger the PCs, if she feels the party might not be ready for such a potentially dangerous encounter.

71. Know thy enemy. 1d6 goblins are attending a seminar on human, elven, canine, and equine anatomy. Crude figures are drawn on the wall as a visual aid, with the speaker providing tips as he points to the drawings:
Eyes: "Stick finger here."
Ears: "Elf ear pointy. Worth more than hooman."
Groin: "Hit hard. Much funny."
Hoof: "Don’t get stepped on. Big ouch."
Dog's tail: "Grab, spin ‘round twice, release."

72. Mortuary Science. A goblin shaman is teaching her apprentices the fine art of making shrunken heads. There are 1d10 heads of varying creatures in various stages of being prepared [de-boned, sewn shut, being stuffed with hot sand, being smoked over a fire]. For extra horror, have one of the PCs recognize a head! Perhaps there's a functioning Hand of Glory somewhere in the room.

73. An idea so clever, your foot falls off. Two goblins are in the room. One sits on the floor with a foot propped up on a rock. The second goblin is about to trim the first goblin's toenails...with a scythe.

74. Chicken fight. Six goblins are in the room. Three of the goblins are mounted on the shoulders of the other three. Each pair is trying to knock the others over by kicking, punching, biting, and pelting each other with live poultry. Each goblin has 1d3 subdual damage from fighting.

75. Two goblins are scraping a goblin dog with backscratchers and collecting the flaky dandruff in bowls. Over to the side, two goblin "chefs" are mixing the bowls of flakes with some form of rancid, cottage cheesy substance, whipping the mixture into a batter, and using it for breading chicken, fish, rat-on-a-stick, and crust for goblin meat pies.

76. Body art. One goblin is being tattooed, pierced, or branded by his peers, either willingly or otherwise. Anatomical specifics are for the DM to determine.

77. Medical treatment. One goblin is being restrained forcibly, while another goblin performs a dubious medical procedure. Suggestions: tongue splitting, tooth sharpening, reattaching a severed limb, or my personal favourite: trepanning.

78. Firestarters. The goblins in this room are making torches for their next raid. They have several stout pieces of wood, a barrel of pitch, and strips of cloth. Another pair in the corner have flints, iron nails, bits of fur and dried grass for use in tinder kits. These goblins are singing as they work:
"Torches burn the little children,
all the children of the world.
Goblins, we creep in at night,
throws a torch, and kids ignite.
'cuz torches burn the little children of the world."

79. Pull my finger. The goblins are engaging in a flatulence contest by various methods (roll 1d4):
1. Joining the blue flame club
2. Putting out candles
3. Playing covered wagon
4. The 5-point system.
Treat the area as being under the effects of a stinking cloud spell.

80. Getting ahead. A guillotine is in the centre of the room, its blade is in position to be dropped. There is a goblin face up in the tray, positioned perfectly beneath the blade. He has one hand raised, a finger pointing to the release mechanism above, and is shouting triumphantly: "Boog sees the problem!"

81. Worth their salt. A group of goblins stare, drooling, at an enormous salt lick stolen from a nearby farm.

82. Lunch. A goblin sits in the room, pulling a long, gooey booger from his nose. Upon seeing the PCs, he devours the nose nugget greedily.

83. Hair club for goblins. A grizzled veteran goblin is giving pointers on scalping technique. Several members of the audience have fresh head wounds from the speaker's demonstrations.

84. The daily grind. There is a grinding wheel and several dogslicers and horsechoppers in the room in varying degrees of completion. The goblins are using the wheel to put edges on their weapons.

85. Just hanging around. One goblin has been caught in another's trap and is suspended from the ceiling with a rope by one foot. If the PCs free the hapless goblin, he will lead them safely to where they can help him exact revenge on his captors.

86. Bobbing for sewer rats. A group of goblins are standing around a large kettle filled with drowning rats and are trying to catch the rats with their teeth. 50% chance the fire under the kettle is lit.

87. Deep in his cups. One goblin has fallen into a large vat or barrel of wine, ale, or moonshine and is drowning. He fights off the other goblins as they attempt to rescue him.

88. Goblin dentistry. Two goblins hold a third while a fourth ties a string from the restrained goblin’s lower left canine to a door. The door is slammed, and now the poor subject has a dislocated jaw.

89. Orcish for Beginners. A group of goblins are having a language lesson, comparing Orcish swear words.

90. Archery contest. 5 goblins are taking turns shooting at a target, held by another goblin...who is quite dead. The other goblins are roaring in laughter.

91. Goblin cocktail party. The goblins are all dressed up in their best clothing, drinking moonshine out of high-stemmed glasses and snacking on beetles in tomato sauce. Much hillarity results as the beetles try to escape, leaving sauce stains everywhere.

92. Pinata Party. Similar to ‘Just hanging around’ above, except the goblin suspended from the ceiling is being beaten by club-wielding goblins all wanting to break him open.

93. Catching bats, butterfly net optional.

94. Goblins worshipping… (roll 1d8)
1. …an animal (suggestions: rat, giant centipede, weasel, bat, etc.).
2. …a creepy-looking stalagmite.
3. …a small fire.
4. …a particularly impressive mushroom.
5. …lichen on the wall that glows.
6. …a stain on the floor that cannot be removed by any means.
7. …a dense spider web that fills an entire corner of the room. May or may not be inhabited.
8. …a killer pile of rocks that has ‘eaten’ (that is, collapsed on top of) one of the goblins.

95. Goblin fireworks. The goblins are burning pinecones, ‘oooh’-ing and ‘ahhh’-ing at the pretty colours.

96. Daycare. Goblins prod a caged goblin child with a stick. Other caged goblin young are stacked nearby.

97. Workshop. The goblins are assembling various traps they intend to place around their camp. They have scavenged and repaired a surprising number of bear traps, crossbows, and other items for use.

98. Smoking room. Several goblins, impressed by the human custom, try to get the hang of smoking a pipe. Lacking tobacco, they are trying to smoke anything that will burn (or at least smoulder a bit). Suggestions: leaves, pine needles, fungus, toenail cuttings, animal fur, dung. Treat everyone in the room as having Concealment (20% miss chance) until the smoke clears (2d6 rounds normally, less with some sort of assistance).

99. Distillery. A would-be goblin brewer is trying his grubby, little hand at making beer or moonshine. At the DM’s discretion, the goblin may have succeeded, or might have made a batch of poison.

00. All of the above!

Wow, that survived cut-n-paste better than I'd imagined.

Hope everyone likes it.

From Jeff Rient's wonderful gameblog, comes this handy chart for when your adventurers suddenly burst in on the stupid little freaks. Just roll 1d20 and rock out.

What are the goblins up to?

1. Making rope out of human hair. A coil 1-100' long is already complete.
2. Boiling up a pot of mud and gravel stew.
3. Singing songs about hidden treasure.
4. Playing poker with blank cards. The printing on both sides is visible only to creatures with infravision
5. Dancing. At least one goblin will be playing an instrument, probably a fiddle or a concertina.
6. Playing tenpins with a skull and some legbones.
7. Interrogating a rat tied to a tiny chair. "I'm gonna ask you one last time: Where is the cheese?"
8. Building a house of cards with the deck from item 4.
9. Discussing the pros and cons of sexual congress with a wide variety of other monsters and races.
10. Eating meat pie. The pie might be stirge or it might be pixie. The goblins can't remember what they put in it.
11. Debating the crisis of succession that would arise from the untimely demise of the current goblin king.
12. Shining shoes of various sizes (kobold to ogre). They all radiate faintly under detect magic but have no known powers.
13. Three words: bunny eating contest.
14. Reading aloud someone else's love letters, preferably detailed notes to or from one of the PCs.
15. Sewing filthy rags into patchwork tunics. If a completed tunic is worn it protects as platemail+1. If the garment is cleaned the magic fades. 1-3 tunics have been completed.
16. Drawing obscene grafitti on the dungeon walls. Each goblin has d4 pieces of chalk in various colors.
17. Arguing vehemently over the proposition that cannibalism should be kept strictly in the family.
18. Strip chess tournament. There's a 1 in 6 chance at least some of the goblins are already in the all-together. Not a sight for the faint of heart.
19. Pickling sliced shrieker. 1-20 jars are done.
20. Trying on pretty pink dresses.

Buff [INSERT YOUR FAVOURITE CLASS HERE*], because it's weak, Pathfinder almost crippled it, devs please, look at it!

Nerf [INSERT MY LEAST FAVOURITE CLASS HERE**], it's far too powerful, imbalanced and overbearing, my GM/friend/sister is making 100 damage per round, this is bad.

And remove [PICK TWO FROM: GUNSLINGER,NINJA,SAMURAI] from the game, they don't fit in my cherished vision of prisitne, Western Medieval fantasy.

* - bonus points if it's Cleric or Druid
** - bonus points if it's Fighter or Rogue

And anyway, pineapples go on a Hawaiian, not a California pizza. California pizza tends toward even weirder stuff. ;)

Like avacado and facelift coupons.

WoTC will release AD&D 5th Edition as a 3rd person ´fighter´ video game (ala Mortal Kombat).
There will be a secret unlock code to fight the ´Bulmahn´ uber-boss.
One faction will be ´3rd Edition Grognards´. Another faction will be ´True Roleplayers´.

Paizo will respond with... Choose Your Own Adventure Pathfinder Novels.

That god wizards, or spellcasters built like god wizards, are the only valid spellcasters.

That builds aren't optimal unless optimized for combat.

That human fighters should dump their INT.

Relatedly, that a fighter taking Combat Expertise and related feats is inherently sub-optimal.