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Liz Courts:” HULK MAKE PEACE WITH INNER CHILD!!"

Liz Courts: "HULK EXPRESS TRUTH CONSTRUCTIVELY."

Liz Courts: "HULK ONLY INCREDIBLE AFTER HULK SMASH DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS!!"

Liz Courts: "HULK SMILE!"

Cosmo: "HULK MAKE TIME FOR HULK!"

Cosmo: HULK CRY IT OUT!

CS Erik: HULK DO STRETCHES BEFORE EXERCISE!

Robot Chris: HULK DO YOGA EVERYDAY FOR HULK BALANCE

Sara Marie: IT NOT FAT IT HULK MUSCLE

Cosmo: HULK MAKING HULK BE OK WITH HULK!!!!

Robot Chris: HULK WATCH NOTEBOOK, DO NOT JUDGE

Blue Chris: HULK LOVE SELF BEFORE LOVING OTHERS

Cosmo: HULK WORK THROUGH PUNY BANNER'S ANGER ISSUES!!!!

Robot Chris: Sorry, but if you want information, you're gonna need words.

Erik Keith: when I'm really laughing but trying to be quiet about it, I sound like a Guinea Pig

Vic: ok, this next change will either make everything work as intended and we'll be done, or it will screw up any number of things, most likely in big obvious ways...

I once rolled a crit so awesome that Chuck Norris called to congratulate me out of respect.

This thread reveals the importance of sending holiday cards to your customers. Wizards, please pay attention.

I remember I had a question once. Lis goes "Bampf" and she appears. She says some stuff and suddenly my question is gone. I'm still not sure if she answered my question and killed it or just scared it away. Either way, Liz is awesome.

Note: I wrote this really late at night and I've been up since too early.

I hear that when Liz wants to create art, she simply stares at the paper and drawing tools and they form the picture out of fear.

Liz's cookies are so awesome, Nabisco tried to steal her recipe once. Once.

Liz can feed garbage into a computer and not get garbage out.

And now she's making pancakes. What a gninja.

Thanks to you Joseph, another two baby unicorns suffer horribly - huzzah!

I just want to point out how much that Dwarf Shaman looks like me, win!

Yup! The Midgard setting definitely has a strong Eastern European flavor and draws a lot of inspiration from related sources. You can read more about it over at Kobold Quarterly- and you can check out Open Design projects here at Paizo and over there at the KQ store for a lot of really great stuff from Midgard.

Liz Courts: Shake your moneymaker! :P

Chris Self: ...the building is awfully large

Liz Courts: Tesla says you just need to find the right resonating frequency.

Liz Courts: So get on it!

Gary Hey, what I do with my badgers is my own business!

Ross Byers: There's a certain amount of attrition and on-the-job training for death-defying adventurers of dubious morality.

Sean K Reynolds: We'll change it to space monkeys.

Crystal: I've been surreptitiously tasting all my co-workers and compiling a database around their flavor, diet, and work habits.

Robot Chris: and then boom!

Robot Chris: human interferance!

Robot Chris: but he's all "NUUU POPCOOOORN I LUVS UUU"

It lies in wait for the unsuspecting once again...

Soda Machine

XP 9,600

NE Large construct
Init –5; Senses darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision; Perception +2
Aura fear aura (5 ft., DC 10), frightful presence (5 ft., DC 25),
Defense
AC 26, touch 6, flat-footed 26 (+20 armor, +2 deflection, –5 Dex, –1 size)
hp 130 (+30)
Fort +13, Ref +9, Will +12
; Immune acid, cold, electricity, fire, poison, sonic, construct traits
Offense
Speed 0 ft.
Melee fall 24 (3d20+4/18–20)
Space 10 ft.; Reach 0 ft.
Special Attacks Dispense Soda, poison, rock throwing (0 ft.)
Tactics
Before Combat
Once filled, the Soda Machione lies in wait for unsuspecting Paizo employees
During Combat
Soda Machine uses its Dispense Soda attack whenever a Paizo employee puts a quarter in the slot and presses a button.
Morale
When bereft of all soda, Soda Machine will stop using its Dispense Soda attack.
Statistics
Str 16, Dex 1, Con 18, Int 1, Wis 14, Cha 1
Base Atk +0; CMB +4; CMD 11 (can't be tripped)
SQ compression, no breath
Special Abilities
Poison (Ex) Soda; save Fort DC 14; frequency 1/round for 6 rounds; effect 1d4 Con; cure 2 consecutive saves.

I am done with my development pass....

Jason

Soda Machine CR 10
XP 9,600
NE Large construct
Init –5; Senses darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision; Perception +2
Aura frightful presence (5 ft., DC 25),
DEFENSE
AC 26, touch 6, flat-footed 26 (+20 armor, +2 deflection, –5 Dex, –1 size)
hp 101 (13d10+30)
Fort +4, Ref –1, Will +6
Immune acid, cold, electricity, poison, sonic, construct traits
OFFENSE
Speed 0 ft. (can't move)
Melee fall +20 (3d10+12 plus poison/x3)
Space 10 ft.; Reach 10 ft.
Special Attacks Dispense Soda, poison, soda throwing (20 ft., as rock throwing, but only soda)
TACTICS
Before Combat Once filled, the Soda Machione lies in wait for unsuspecting Paizo employees
During Combat Soda Machine uses its Dispense Soda attack whenever a Paizo employee puts a quarter in the slot and presses a button.
Morale When bereft of all soda, Soda Machine will stop using its Dispense Soda attack.
STATISTICS
Str 26, Dex 1, Con —, Int —, Wis 14, Cha 1
Base Atk +13; CMB +22; CMD 27 (can't be tripped)
SQ compression, no breath
SPECIAL ABILITIES
Poison (Ex) Soda; save Fort DC 14; frequency 1/round for 6 rounds; effect 1d4 Con; cure 2 consecutive saves.

DEVELOPER NOTES
- This stat block was really sloppy with numerous math and formatting errors. I am not even sure I caught them all in my brief pass.
- Send not to author asking what the intent was of the dispense soda special attack. As a note, I am not sure the compression ability is doing what the author intends. I mean, it has a compressor and all.. but thats not really the same thing.
- I do not recommend that we use this author again...

James Jacobs: DAMNIT! I missed Erik. Now I have to GET UP FROM MY CHAIR and walk around the corner to chat with him about Skyrim.

Call of Cthulhu

Low-light vision: 1 Race Point.

Natural weapon: 1 Race Point.

Swordtrained: 3 Race Points.

Playing a tengu in a party of Paizo iconics: Priceless.

There are some things standard racial packages can by.
For everything else, there's Advanced Race Guide.

Advanced Race Guide: See the tengu, be the tengu.

"Who the hell knew they were actually Justin Bieber fans? I mean- come on!! That joke was funny!!"

Well this worked for the last caption constest I'm aware of. (Not mine by the way)

"Dear Pathfinder Letters . . . "

You have 7 people in your group and one is reading the adventure and then complaining that you are running it wrong?

Kick him out. There is no reason to accept someone who is effectivly cheating. Even if you couldn't replace him you would have 6 people left.

Regarding your experiences. I ran some games in game shops recently and some of these kids had huge three ring binders of crap they downloaded off torrent. None of them actually bought the rules while we sat in our local game store! So I required that you had to own or have physical possession of any rule books you wanted to use. Oh how they complained. But relented after I lectured them on not supporting the game store they were playing in.

They hated all my house rules but I refused to take any crap about it. I can ran my game how I saw fit. Once they played about a dozen sessions they mostly fell in line.

So my advice is to stick to your guns. Run the game you want to play. Eventually, the players will conform.

Adam and I have been getting into trouble together at shows and rolling dice at the gaming table since we were too young to buy beer legally. Some of the best times of my life have been had with Daigle at my side, and I wouldn't even be writing in the biz if it wasn't for his relentless insistence that I get into the freelance game. Going to be tough not having him a mile up the road or next to me at our weekly game sessions, but I'm unbelievably excited that he's going to be doing what we love as a full-time job.

Here's to you, Adam. Wind in your sails and all that. Paizo's getting the best of us, and it is good to know that my future work will be in the hands of my best friend. Don't you dare change a word of it! Hahaha.

Sail away, and find your way to Mariana, my friend.

Don't trust people that review stuff. their weird and crazy, just saying. Don't invite them into your home ever, or feed them after dark and never every get them wet... books get soggy.

gary: i still think you should shuffle the critical hit and fumble decks together

crystal: Church of Lamashtu... Reformed

crystal: We're not like those weirdo orthodox Lamashtuans

crystal: My designer's soul is a twisted, malformed beast with no sense of right or wrong

sara: can i post that in the overheard thread?

sara: because i like it when everyone here makes great comments and then i take favorites for everyone's comments

gary: is it wrong that i use the overheard at paizo thread as my employee handbook?

Mark: They're the most broken brokenness of all time, according to the latest nerdrage. And that's not a double negative; it's a super truth.

I hereby declare that I would like to see the phrase "edition war" die a quiet, lonely death.

Another thread like this. Yay. *yawn*

It's a freaking fantasy game about avatars of our imagination doing heroic things at a level reality cannot hope to emulate. It's why we play, to recreate the legends of our past and our literary favorites.

Insisting on reality in a fantasy game is absolutely ludicrous. Seriously, there are other systems that try to emulate the mundane, D&D and its derivatives have never been those games.

Meh.