I like Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson myself. All he wants is to be a good copper, and for others to embrace lawfulness and compassion for each other. He is so honest that it's at times unclear whether he understands what lying is.
I used to think of Commander Vimes as a paladin, but now I'm pretty sure he's a LG inquisitor (streetwise and fights dirty). Still, a good place to mine for ideas if you're looking for a grittier, grumpier paladin.
"Beating people up in little rooms…he knew where that led. And if you did it for a good reason, you’d do it for a bad one. You couldn’t say ‘We’re the good guys’ and do bad-guy things."
"People know about you, commander. Descendant of a watchman who believed that if a corrupted court will not behead an evil king, then the watchman should do it himself [...] Sam Vimes once arrested (his boss) for treason. And Sam Vimes once arrested a dragon. Sam Vimes stopped a war between nations by arresting two high commands. He's an arresting fellow, Sam Vimes. Sam Vimes killed a werewolf with his bare hands, and carries law with him like a lamp [...] Watchmen across half the continent will say that Sam Vimes is as straight as an arrow, can't be corrupted, won't be turned, never took a bribe..."
I've rarely seen people talk about non-male paladins when discussing paladins generally (although I have seen paladins talked about generally with a male assumption, and you can see that in some of the posts in this thread). And I've never seen any of these great paladin stories/examples with non-male paladins.
Let me tell you about Alejandra.
Alejandra started off as a simple fighter, but when her eldest son was sent to his death by an immoral commander, she turned to the church of Sarenrae and became a paladin. She gave up bloodletting and became a sacred shield for innocents and those doing good work in the world.
Her most dramatic act of heroism was dying not once but twice in combat with a demigod of necromancy trying to bring about the apocalypse. Gotta love Breath of Life. But for me her defining moment was when we were fighting a band of insane and bloodthirsty pirates, and they were escaping on their ship. Alejandra, having never dealt lethal damage to a living and thinking creature in the course of the game, used a magical ring to ignite the powder on the ship, killing all those on board. She fell to her knees in sorrow and begged my druid to take the ring from her, for she did not want a thing that could cause such destruction. I had to talk her out of it.