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Red Dragon

Ventnor's page

962 posts. No reviews. No lists. No wishlists.


1 to 50 of 962 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | next > last >>

Goofus provides the party's lock-picker and trap-springer a puzzle box that, if opened incorrectly, will slice his hands off.

Gallant is always skeptical when a powerful entity offers him power for a seemingly low price.

By time Goofus finished recalculating the stats for his Druid when it wildshaped into a bear, the GM and all the other players had died of old age.

Gallant knows that his player's aren't fond of super lethal campaigns, so he crafts his campaigns with that preference in mind.

known as Mousecop.

anyone who tries to initiate

52b.) Half-Chupacabra Fiends are an acceptable substitute.

53.) Your cleric can worship the internet only if their race is LOLcatfolk.

54.) If you want to play a gunslinger, you must demonstrate that you have mastered playing a harmonica.

Who's up for Karaoke?

seconds after a person stepped on to

to create the John Rambo Memorial Overpass

And it's in the top percentage, even!

The next poster has a hard time understanding pants.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

KahnyaGnorc has a third eye on one of his toes.

Get the Bookish Rogue feat. Have all the cantrips and 1st-level spells.

46.) Vampire peasants must work on farms like every other peasant.

47.) To play an oracle, you must successfully predict at least 3 different events with perfect accuracy (including precise times, what everyone involved is wearing down to the thread count, etc.).

48.) Licking loot does not make it yours by default.

remains of a

bears, midnight is a bad

The national army was sent to force

time during the congressional hearings

upon grotesque oversized

This was probably why bears

Goofus is confused why no GM has ever allowed him to play Pun-Pun. It's totally in the rules, you guys!

When forced to fight one of his allies who has been dominated, Gallant uses nonlethal damage to avoid killing them.

several strapping young

40.) Those who double, triple, and quadruple post will be exiled via catapult.

41.) Quintuple posting is okay.

to ensure that messes were properly cleaned.

Does anyone know how that gigantic rotting snake head got into the punch bowl?

Senator Maxwell Eaglebite, best known

entire Eastern seaboard be forced to use

just wished that they were all home.

of the Abyss.

and had made a mess

After you see a dinosaur rampage through Central Park on three separate occasions, it gets kind of dull. I mean, only two trees were uprooted this time!

The next poster finally found what they were looking for after centuries of searching.

3 people marked this as a favorite.

It's 20th level. I don't think that Major Mind Swap is actually that crazy.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

One confused night of drinking led to Molten Dragon to be crowned the ruler of the Holy Roman Empire. He decided to abdicate after learning that his dominion was not holy, not Roman, and not an empire.

The fact that Goofus's first instinct was to moon the alien ambassadors led to the destruction of human civilization as we know it.

When his GM says that she has to take a break from GMing because she's burned out, Gallant offers to run a campaign for the group in her stead.

27.) In order to play a dwarf, you must be able to chug an entire bottle of liquor and not die, or work as an actual miner.

28.) You cannot declare that the GM's cat is now your familiar.

Try faxing him instead.

Sissyl once climbed to the top of a mountain, triggered an avalanche, and surfed the avalanche back down to the bottom.

20.) Those who attempt to subvert the proper numerical order will be exiled via catapult.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Granted! However, the ending is only proper and satisfying to its author. You find it mediocre at best.

I wish that Laser Cats were real.

Aaaand that's why I'm no longer an astronomer. Not that I claimed to be one in the first place.

The next poster manages to use a keyboard despite lacking hands.

18.) The first Tuesday of every month is Tact Tuesday. Anyone who fails to comply will be exiled via catapult.

19.) The exiling catapult must be kept in working condition at all time. You never know when we need to use it.

I invited Rovagug. Is that okay with everyone?

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Aniuś the Talewise has been observed throwing rocks at speeds that exceed the speed of light.

Caw: The basic unit of time measurement used by Tengu. It doesn't exactly correlate to minutes or seconds, which means that humans and tengu are always working on out-of-synch schedules.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

16a.) Except for the ones named Wash Georgington.

Goofus's dice have sensors built into them that cause them to explode if anyone but Goofus touches them.

When Gallant makes a dwarven character, he gives that character more personality traits than just "loves beards and loves beer."

13.) An Int score of 2 is a requirement to take levels in Fighter.

14.) Dragon's can, at any time, forget that they know how to fly.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I'm Hiding In Your Closet has no parents. He just spontaneously appeared in a closet one day.

Actually, you don't.

If that frightens you, then you are not insane.

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Pulg cannot remember the last time someone asked him about the weather.

Bracada: A kind of gnomish bread. No two loaves are exactly alike, for each contains wildly different ingredients. Generally people try to stay away from loaves of bracada baked by evil gnomish bakers.


Avatar of Zon-Kuthon communicates with others through a series of flashing lights built into his nose.

1 to 50 of 962 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | next > last >>

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