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Red Dragon

Ventnor's page

727 posts. No reviews. No lists. No wishlists.


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Believe me, having eyes on the back of your head isn't everything it's cracked up to be,

The next poster has witnessed the end-times at least 5 different times.


Zombieneighbours wrote:
Casual Viking wrote:
Cavall wrote:
Leading townspeople to repair a dam IS a solution. I can't think of a reason it isn't.
Think harder, then. I even pointed out one of the relevant spells by name.

No, those are ALSO solutions. One does not preclude the other from being.

Casual Viking wrote:


How many man-days of work does it take to replicate "This spell creates a wall of rock that merges into adjoining rock surfaces. A wall of stone is 2 inches thick and composed of up to nine 5-foot squares"?

You and your wizard appear to have failed their Knowledge engineering check.

A couple of inchs of stone can be punched through with sledges in minutes. The stresses involved in a failing dam exceed that, by a significant amount, and also tend to be forces that attack strengths which the stone is even less able to take, such as shearing.

But lets assume that our 11th level wizard uses one of his most powerful spells in the day to help in the most effective way he can with it(of the top of my head, that would mean making a strut rather than a sheet) we are talking about something that the community, with leadership can do multiple of in an hour. The wizard substantially reduces his combat effectiveness doing it while the example fighter is still ready to go.

Edit: the more I think about it, about the only thing your example is any good for in this, is providing a temporary rest bite on a serious failure.

I suppose on a relatively small dam, it could be used to "weld" a single crack, but that assumes that the wizard knows the exact shape of the crack and that that crack is the only failure.

Since wizards are going to pretty much always have more intelligence then fighters, isn't it more likely that the wizard is going to be the one who makes Knowledge (Engineering) checks?


I wouldn't know. I am, of course, only a bill.


I got stuck in traffic, and when I finally got there the Tarrasque had fallen asleep for his thousand-year-long hibernation. It was a real let-down, let me tell you.

Zon-Kuthon, god of pain and misery, owes the next poster an as-of-yet undecided favor.


KahnyaGnorc is a leading scientist in the field of dropping people and objects to discover what sounds they make when they hit the ground.


Right! It appears that you need a lesson about how to defend yourself against people who attack you with fresh fruit!


You may laugh, but my new scaly boss provides a great dental plan!

The next poster is pathologically incapable of typing vowels.


Bah! I care not for cheese!

What we really need is to learn how to defend ourselves if a mugger comes at us with a raspberry!


Goofus insists that the GM roleplay the very graphic sex his character has with prostitutes that his character hires. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

When one of Gallant's players finds a way to solve a problem that he didn't anticipate, he lets it work (occasionally asking for a 5-10 minute break if the solution is so off-the-wall that he needs some time to figure out how to continue the game).


Dread master, I bring the most famous mutant of all!

Jinn, Jinn, I implore,
Bring me a mighty dinosaur!


This entire thread is one giant delusion that I'm Hiding In Your Closet had after eating a stale potato.


Burning Explosion: The Legend Begins


Next topic!


Grave Fire II: Return of the Fire's Zombie's Ghost


Schudorn: The goblin god of knowledge, reasoned debate, and sobriety. At the best of times, he can have as many as two or three priests dedicated to him.

Bendorium


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Wish granted! The quality of the axes is such that over half the actors end up losing at least one limb during a historical re-enactment of a viking battle.

I wish I knew what time it was.


Unfortunately, they're so dedicated to supporting local businesses that the last Wal-Mart that opened there went out of business within a month.

I hear that there is an unlikely band of rag-tag heroes that are questing nearby. Have we tried reaching out to them?


But of course, my lord! I hope an arctic fox will suffice?

Jinn, Jinn, by the sun's rays,
Bring me a most unusual maze!


I'm Hiding In Your Closet was the drummer in a hair metal band in the 80's.


I'm Hiding In Your Closet should not rule this city because their name is too long. It won't fit on the official "I want to run this city" application.


Goofus arrives late and leaves even later because he fell asleep halfway through the session.

After noticing that his players have become interested in an NPC that he intended to be a minor throw-away character, Gallant makes said NPC a more important part of the campaign.


They call me the man with no left side because I'm ALL RIGHT!!!

The next poster is an actual murderhobo.


Galactus's herald determined that the fortress was too high in sodium and might give the planet eater diabetes.

Did that insurance fraud plan end up working?


Indeedily do.


Pulg is the most successful used car salesperson in the world.


That's a real scientific fact, you know!


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Aniuś the Talewise wrote:
Lies, I never get tired of middle ages folk music. It is like 80% of what I listen to. (Unless by 'neo-medieval' you mean every Dick Tom and Harry doing to middle ages folk music what Vanilla Ice does to rap)

Let's just say that the chart topper ended up being "Ye Olde Ice Ice Babye."


Aniuś the Talewise wrote:

Granted. You have pie to share with everyone. It's laced with peanuts and it kills people with severe peanut allergies. You are accused of murder.

I wish they played music like this at clubs.

Granted. While good to listen to at first, neo-medieval music becomes so played out that you wish you had never heard it in the first place.

I wish I made the perfect wish.


Granted. You make illusions so well that you become unable to determine what is real and what are the figments that you have created.

I wish that I had enough pie to share with everyone.


In the year 2015, I set out to create a force of ultimate destruction... and I succeeded. LET MY FOLLY BE A LESSON TO YOU ALL!!!

The next poster will rescue me from the giant man-eating pizza.


Remember, you can only start getting racial FCB once you gain the feature. So you couldn't take the human "get 1/6 of a combat feat" until the Warpriest got its first bonus combat feat at 3rd level. Which means you get the FCB feat at 8th level, not 6th.


All I want to know is, why cotton candy? The buttered petri dish, that I could understand. But why in the name of the gods would you involve cotton candy?

The next poster stole forty cakes. That's as many as four tens. And that's terrible.


But I like paying attention to the man behind the curtain!


Southern Darflinger: An inhabitant of the country of South Darfling. It and North Darfling have an intense rivalry which results in one of the most intense bake-offs in the world. The kind where chefs have been known the murder each other.

Tranganumb


Sorendam: A elvish word used to describe a tree that has all of its lower branches cut off.

Merstemulous


Booooooooooo.


How about the Eldritch Scrapper Sorcerer? How about we give a character with the worst BAB and the worst HP a bunch of combat feats instead of bloodline powers? That will work real well.


Luxus: A demon prince of greed. The people who worship him tent to be the kind that want to swim Scrooge McDuck-style in a giant pool full of gold coins.

Megaxcalibur


Shoringaldorf: A hooked pole used by halfling sailors to maneuver riverboats into and away from docks.

Boronk


Truth has a well-known liberal bias.


If I'm remembering my official rulebook correctly, all exponential scores must be expressed in the form of an interpretive dance. Let's see it.


Nightskies wrote:

Granted. Check the toilet, you should find the shredded delivery there ready to be flushed.

I wish my skin to taste like caramel and chocolate so that... ** spoiler omitted **

Wish granted. Your skin was turned into caramel and chocolate and proceeded to melt.

I wish for a delicious fish.


We tried that yesterday. They asked us to stop so nicely that we just felt terrible and left.

Have we tried luring them out of their fortress with the world's largest pie?


Unfortunately, the falling stars guild was forced to sign a non-compete clause with the Efreeti wish-granting union.

I remember that we released the Kraken. Has that done anything for us?


lucky7 wrote:

They've got winged Tyrannosaurus treats out the wazoo.

We could use the Murdersaurus instead.

Unfortunately, they just happen to have a mosasaur-filled moat around the entire building.

Have we tried the oversized can opener yet?


Unfortunately, the enemy's fortress was built with atmosphere-proof crumple zones. It would take more air than exists in the elemental plain of air to crush it.

Is the winged tyrannosaurus breeding program finished yet? We might take the fortress with those...


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Arbiter, without a doubt. I like having hands because they're pretty useful!

Would you rather be able to taste spirits or smell them?


Granted. A week after allowing said characters, Paizo releases an errata document that makes gestalt and mythic builds effectively worthless.

I wish that public discourse would become more rational.


I can confirm at least one troll bit. Maybe as many as five; I don't think troll flesh is supposed to be puce.


Ftang-ftang: The name of Cthulhu's beloved pet dog. Whether the creature actually qualifies as a dog is a debate among many scholars of occult lore.

Brablespurrious

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