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Red Dragon

Ventnor's page

2,220 posts. No reviews. No lists. No wishlists.


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TOTALLY John Kretzer died twenty years ago.


The Holy Ritual of the USD Insertion requires 3 full flips of the drive. These things are important!

The Paladin became the dictator of a small third world country.


3 people marked this as a favorite.

I'm Hiding In Your Closet, after being crowned King, now refers to himself as We're Hiding In Your Closet.


The problem with that is that casters can also take the Leadership feat. A Cleric could have the weight of his congregation behind him, or the Wizard an Arcane Society that he founded. And if those aren't helpful for the situation at hand, both Cleric and Wizard have skills and magic to fall back upon.


PhD. Okkam wrote:
What is Bad Touch Cleric?

What it sounds like. A cleric who fights primarily by debilitating enemies with touch spells.


All of Goofus's Occultist Implements are... shall we say... not work safe compliant? And he brandishes them whenever his character casts a spell, no matter how often the GM throws him out of the game.

Gallant tries his best to make sure that no one player has too much "spotlight" time per session.


Didn't Bleached Otyugh win Top Chef that one time?


Yoogest Trump Award, and the


the Nobel Chemistry prize, the


I shapeshift into a scientist who disproves the pseudofact with diligent research.


The Paladin did not give 2 weeks notice as is proper.

The Paladin defaced a magnificent work of art.


The Paladin, who was playing Macduff, got a little too into character and ended up actually killing and then decapitating the actor who played Macbeth. Though it will be said that he did get a standing ovation at the end.

The Paladin hosted a satirical television show.


3 people marked this as a favorite.

Avatar of Zon-Kuthon studied Ewokese in college. Now he can't remember more than "yub-yub."


KahnyaGnorc likes cows puns just a LITTLE more than is healthy.


2 people marked this as a favorite.

I'm Hiding In Your Closet got 2% of the vote in the Iowa Caucus.


What mechanical benefits do a parasol give a character, anyway?


Meanwhile, I am selling barf barrels. After all, is a bucket really big enough for a GoatToucher-induced yarf?


313.) The Remembered Realms


GM_Beernorg does not kiss people, preferring to show affection by hooking thumbs with his partner.


, which was a big hit


KahnyaGnorc can eat soup with fork and never spill one drop of broth.


"My Achey-Breaky Phalanges" and


GoatTouchet should not rule this city due to the fact that he has been observed changing the size of the Hat of Office on three separate occasions.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Due to fluctuations of subatomic particles at the quantum level, GoatToucher cannot perceive GM_Beernorg. It confuses him that so many people talk about a person who clearly doesn't exist.


Oh, you found Hank the Umbral Dragon! I was wondering where he went!


Goofus always drinks.

... That got dark.

Gallant doesn't tell jokes that make his players uncomfortable.


After a long hiatus, here I go again...

Shanky
STR: 3d6 ⇒ (3, 3, 2) = 8 - 2 = 6
DEX: 3d6 ⇒ (4, 3, 5) = 12 + 4 = 16
CON: 3d6 ⇒ (2, 2, 5) = 9
INT: 3d6 ⇒ (1, 2, 3) = 6
WIS: 3d6 ⇒ (3, 5, 4) = 12
CHA: 3d6 ⇒ (6, 5, 2) = 13 - 2 = 11

Shanky is a Goblin Unchained Rogue, who has learned how to gracefully wield his dogslicer to make up for his absolutely scrawny muscles. Really, he can't carry much beyond said dogslicer, his leather armor, and some thieves' tools.

Glass
STR: 3d6 ⇒ (5, 5, 2) = 12 + 2 = 14
DEX: 3d6 ⇒ (2, 2, 5) = 9
CON: 3d6 ⇒ (5, 1, 6) = 12
INT: 3d6 ⇒ (2, 3, 1) = 6
WIS: 3d6 ⇒ (1, 5, 5) = 11 + 2 = 13
CHA: 3d6 ⇒ (5, 2, 5) = 12 - 2 = 10

Glass is an Oread Invulnerable Rager Barbarian. She's not that good at dodging, so she does her best to cut through enemies before they can take her down.

Jimmy
STR: 3d6 ⇒ (5, 4, 5) = 14 + 2 = 16
DEX: 3d6 ⇒ (2, 2, 6) = 10
CON: 3d6 ⇒ (1, 6, 5) = 12
INT: 3d6 ⇒ (3, 1, 6) = 10
WIS: 3d6 ⇒ (1, 2, 3) = 6
CHA: 3d6 ⇒ (2, 2, 2) = 6

Jimmy is a human fighter. He's got some decent power behind his arms, and with some advanced weapon techniques he might actually end up going somewhere.

Lustria
STR: 3d6 ⇒ (2, 4, 3) = 9
DEX: 3d6 ⇒ (2, 4, 1) = 7
CON: 3d6 ⇒ (1, 5, 1) = 7
INT: 3d6 ⇒ (4, 5, 4) = 13
WIS: 3d6 ⇒ (5, 6, 5) = 16 + 2 = 18
CHA: 3d6 ⇒ (2, 1, 4) = 7

Lustria is a half-elf druid. With no physical stats to speak of, her main duty is to cast buffs on her allies and to make life difficult for her enemies. Her animal companion also provides some much-needed help on the front line. Her wild shape is mainly reserved for turning into a bird and flying away when enemies get too close.


The answer is "possibly." It depends on what you want out of the Alchemist.


307.) Forgetting to number the list.

308.) A dragonborn-again.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

A hug from GoatToucher has been deemed a cruel and unusual punishment by the United States' Attorney General's Office.


You should have thought of that before you got involved in this thread! We're in it for the long haul now!


equinoxmaster should not rule this city because his administration has passed policies that the citizens don't like.


Goofus ensures his towns all stick out from each other by giving each a different lynch mob that chases the PCs out of them.

Gallant's chips are never stale and his cola is never flat.


The Rantings of an Old Man is actually 12 years old.


*Uses a patented GoatToucher technique to induce vomiting*


Pulg wrote:

1: With Guiseppe in the gondola

2: With Hermann in the leiderhosen shop
3: With Boris, in a hole in the ice.

1.) Who did you purchase that floating pasta from?

2.) No, your legs aren't fat! Where did you hear someone say that?
3.) So you got frostbite in your head and had to have it amputated. Where did that happen?

Dear Poster,
You will find the answers to your next three questions below.

1.) It's no good. They just unleashed the Mecha-Trump.
2.) Astounding. Absolutely incredible! Well done!
3.) If you won't, then I will!


Fortunately for me, I used sleight of hand to switch the real win with a fake one. Because everyone knows that dragons are known for having nimble fingers.


*Jumps out of Bob Dole's closet, where I've been hiding for the past 5 hours.*

Haha! I knew you'd do that!


O! What a Stab!


1 person marked this as a favorite.

299.) Things that can change the nature of a man.

300.) Spartans


That show got canceled ages ago, you know.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Getting high on Draino and Windex is not very becoming of a paladin.

The Paladin won a rap battle against the Antipaladin.


There are no groceries. They are but a fabrication of a fevered mind.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

I'm Hiding In Your Closet lacks the necessary muscles in his face to wink his right eye.


Stumpy the Tree's Wonderful Vengeance Plot


1 person marked this as a favorite.

This was, of course, because Molten Dragon had the rights to the Barnyard Wars franchise and he wasn't about to let that cash cow get away.


Edwin McGee and the Nietzsche Mystery


3 dozen, actually! Don't forget the Grandmother's House Modifier!


GM_Beernorg enjoys the times when he gets to be PC_Beernorg immensely.


285.) Pretty American tourists.

286.) The number i.

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