Velcro Zipper's page

That's the fingerblade Name's talking about. It's more of a long spike at the end of an angled handle (like the handle of Count Dooku's lightsaber in the Star Wars movies.) Sword and Fist from 3.0 had the blade gauntlet. I don't have my copy with me, but I remember it basically being Wolverine's claws attached to an iron fist. I think it does 1d6 slashing damage with a 19-20 x2 crit. There's an infamous typo in the book that actually lists the weapon with a 17-20 crit range, but that was cleared up by some errata that came out later.

The same book also has something called Panther Claws or something like that, and they're kind of like nekode except they're worn on the outside of the hand rather than in the palm. I could post the stats for both later when I have a chance to look at my books.

There's also the pata, which is in Adventurer's Armory. That's the blade mounted to end of a gauntlet. It does 1d6, x3.

Hope that didn't come off too smarmy, Ævux. I live in a small town with a smaller gaming community. I think the group I GM might be the only group in town, and most of them have known each other longer than I've lived here.

what he wrote

It sounds like she actually put some story-based thought into making her character and that's swell. I'm bored with players telling me their fighter uses weapon X because it does Y+Z points of damage with a crit range of 2-20 and not because it makes sense. I don't want to have to kibosh certain exotic weapons, but it gets to the point I don't see any reason they're exotic.

what he wrote

That's nifty and I would love to play in your game, but I don't live in a magical dream world of chocolate unicorn fountains and candy-coated caramel owlbears. I sure wish I did though.

I don't discount the fact that it's a deadly combination, but there's nothing written that says a creature has to stop using a freely maintained supernatural ability to perform a full-round action. As a GM who doesn't like to TPK my players, I would likely give the party another saving throw after witnessing the horrible murder (or attempted murder) of their companion if the entire group was charmed. There's nothing in the rules that says I can't do that either.

For a group of harpies, the way I play it, every harpy involved in the combat would need to charm every member of the party if they all wanted to coup every party member. A party member may fall victim to one harpy's song but not the songs of any others meaning that character would not be helpless against the other harpies. A TPK is still possible but, like I said, I'd probably give my players a fair shot at getting out of it.

I agree, mdt. Once the harpy's used a Standard to get going, she can keep singing for free each round with no need to concentrate, giving her the ability double move, attack, coup de grace, etc.

Between Multi-Man and Mr. Immortal, an actual fight between these teams could go on forever so it's better to determine the winner by who sucks the most.

Squirrel Girl, who happens to be one of my all-time favorite characters of all time, is no longer with the GLA (even if she is still on their speed dial) so that puts the team back in the running for biggest losers and I'd like to give them the title, but I actually remember them somehow winning some important world-saving fights.

I don't remember JLAnt ever doing anything important or world-saving, but half of their team did have the decency to die before they could suck anymore than they already did.

This is a tough call, but I'm going to have to agree with you, Aberzombie. JLAnt is definitely a bigger group of losers on paper, but their disbandment and the deaths of half their team means they're unable to continue their long legacy of losery lameness. GLA is still around and quite capable of sucking for years to come. Of course, that's why we love them.

Hooray Marvel! Another win for Team Spidey! Kind of. I guess.

To answer your question, Deluge, I haven't seen one falcata/buckler combo since the weapon was introduced to the campaign I'm running. I have, however, seen four dual-falcata-wielding rogues and fighters and not one of them was Taldan. The players of those characters chose the weapon for purely mechanical reasons and that kind of saddens me.

It's been too long since I saw a fighter who just uses a trusty longsword or a stout battle axe.

From the Rules:

Supernatural Abilities (Su)
Using a supernatural ability is usually a standard action (unless defined otherwise by the ability's description). Its use cannot be disrupted, does not require concentration, and does not provoke attacks of opportunity.

A harpy song is a supernatural abililty so, yeah, standard action and all the good stuff being supernatural means.

Here's my take on the whole coup thing. This is kind of a big issue for me right now because the party I'm DMing just ran into a murder of harpies. A harpy-charmed creature is helpless to the harpy who has charmed that creature. It will defend itself from anything attempting to prevent it from reaching said harpy, but will not defend itself from attacks made by that harpy. It will try to circumvent dangerous terrain but, if it cannot safely bypass a dangerous area, it gets a second save before it begins to trudge through that tar pit or acid bath or whatever. The charmed creature can be struck dead by the charming harpy at her leisure so long as the creature remains charmed, but I allow the creature to defend itself from the attacks of other creatures even while at the feet of the charming harpy.

And where he has got that "so accurate" information?

From cartoons like this (maybe NSFW) I suspect.

That's really beside the point. He constantly uses the "'X' says it's okay" excuse or otherwise attempts to evade accountability for his characters' actions.

I've got one player who never writes an alignment onto his sheet. I've told him this doesn't bother me because I'll just gauge his alignment based on his actions and he'll be affected by alignment-based effects accordingly. This player also likes to claim every one of his actions is Good and for the benefit of the party. Any time he performs an action he can't BS as Good, he uses the excuse that another PC told him he should do it so it must be a Good act. Basically, he flies a big middle finger to the alignment system so, based on the way he typically acts, I usually decide his characters are evil, chaotic neutral at best.

Case in point (and more appropriate to the thread,) yesterday he told me there was nothing evil about his half-orc beating women unconscious and having his way with them because he was raised to believe it was acceptable behavior. He then said cavemen used to rape women all the time so that was all the proof he needed that rape isn't evil. I'm considering asking him to never show up to my table again.

Anyway, here's a spoiler-tagged example of play from my campaign that might apply to the topic of this thread if anyone is interested...

I hope that was clear enough to understand, and I wonder if anyone has opinions on the actions taken by the party or their NPC leader.

And I pity anyone who has to suffer Lord Antagonis' company. Also, his odor...and his ugly face.

The party began a massive battle during the last session that wasn't over by the time we called it a night so lovers of cliffhangers should really enjoy this week's installment. Creepy weirdos with pervy fetishes might also find something to like, but I'm not here to judge...

DAYS 132-133 A MURDER OF HARPIES

featuring: The World's Largest Adventuring Party

Roch - Dwarf Mystic Theurge
Janus - Aasimar Fighter/Barbarian/Swashbuckler/Dervish
Chum'lee - Human Transmuter
Cul'tharic - NPC Lizardfolk Fighter/Scaled Horror
Shi - Human Cleric of Pharasma
Traxxus - Halfling Rogue
Durthuunicar - Human Ranger
Grackle - Goblin Savage Skald

Grackle stood before the throne of Argliss with the minotaur Vornmik towering above him feeling every bit a tiny fish in a very big pond. The goblin emperor had agreed to meet with the minotaur bard to discuss her chieftain’s offer of military aid in exchange for goods and services and the emperor’s hobgoblin guards listened nervously as they maintained their vigil. Earlier in the day, the minotaur warriors accompanying Vornmik had performed a drill exhibition to the delight of the goblin crowd and, while the hobgoblins had answered in kind, the idea that they might soon be replaced weighed heavily on their minds.

“Your warriors put on a nice show,” smiled the goblin king. “I’m sure they’re very formidable.”

“And your hobgoblin fighters certainly live up to their reputation,” replied the minotaur. “Our peoples would have very little to fear if you accept my chieftain’s offer.”

“What do you think, Rudenoise?” Argliss suddenly turned his attention to the goblin skald. “You’ve been among Markuli’s people. Were you treated well? Should we count the minotaurs among the friends of the Stoneshaper Empire?”

Grackle gulped a mighty gulp and replied, “Uhm, yes? I mean, they treated me fair and they’ve got lots of gold and gems and other shiny things. Oh, and they’re real strong.”

Argliss gave a little laugh at Grackle’s answer before turning back to the minotaur.

“A ringing endorsement if I ever heard one,” grinned the king. “Tell your chieftain your people are welcome to trade with the Stoneshaper Empire, but we respectfully decline his offer of warriors. Furthermore, I’m making Grackle here our ambassador to your tribe. In the future, you can send any requests from your chieftain through him.”

Argliss’ hobgoblin guards sighed with relief and so too did the halfling rogue, Traxxus, who’d managed to sneak invisibly into the meeting after meeting Grackle and his monstrous companions near the Celestial Garrison. For one, he hadn’t been spotted but, just as important, it didn’t sound like Argliss was going to invite a bunch of heavily armed minotaurs to make themselves comfortable in the tunnels the goblins shared with the prisoners of the commune.

Traxxus quickly slipped from the throne room to meet with Grackle and Vornmik once again. The minotaurs had one more stop. The only safe route from the Broken Axe territory went right through the commune’s tunnels and that meant Vornmik would have to convince the prisoners to allow them the use of the roads.

Many of the commune’s residents turned out to witness the meeting between the minotaurs and the Council of Four Waters. Minotaurs, of course, were monsters and legendary for their hunger for human flesh so there was plenty of reason to be concerned and many loudly voiced their opinions. Among the dissenters were Thomas Rose, a military officer and engineer who had fought minotaurs in the past, and the lantern archon Ariel who was strongly against allowing any more evil creatures to roam the halls of the commune. However, Vormik skillfully made her case, even offering a toll the minotaurs would pay, and it was decided the minotaurs would be allowed to use the tunnels in small groups and only for official business. Satisfied with the results of the meeting, Grackle, Vornmik and the rest of the minotaurs retuned to the Broken Axe territory with Traxxus as a guest. Along the way, the halfling had a stop to make at the Celestial Garrison.

During his time off from adventuring, Traxxus had slipped somewhat in his duties as a Garrison member and, with the coming of the minotaurs, the celestials offered the rogue a chance to make up for his dalliances.

“As you know, the Garrison has stepped away from interaction with the people of your commune and the goblins,” chimed the lantern archon Ember. “Our agents among The Redeemers will continue to lend their assistance and advice when necessary, but the advent of peaceful communities forming within the confines of the dungeon is not something we were prepared for and it has been decided we will take our traditional stance of non-interference toward mortals where it regards your peoples. The minotaurs, however, concern us. Region F has contained them for ten years and we were content knowing their evil was confined. You are to gather information about the minotaurs and keep us informed of anything that might prove too great an evil for the commune or the goblins to handle. We’ve come to accept the presence of your people within our halls and we’ll let you make your own mistakes, but know that the Garrison will be swift to act and great in our capacity for violence toward any creature that threatens our mission or the good of the world beyond these walls.”

With orders in hand, Traxxus returned to Grackle and Vornmik and, together, they headed for Region F.

***

Chum’lee, Cul’tharic and Janus rested within the halls of the Broken Axe tribe. Shi and Roch had retured to the commune to secure the chests of gold and jewels awarded to the party by Grauki and the alchemist, Patreus had, mysteriously, left with a curt farewell and no promise of ever returning. Given his supposed connection to the imprisoned halfling, Riswan, his sudden departure struck Janus as somewhat strange since the party had decided freeing the halfling would be their next goal.

To that end, the three did what they could to gather information about Darvil the Thief, Riswan’s supposed accomplice, and they eventually learned that the harpies south of the Red Horn tribe were known for abducting creatures, which were seldom seen again. The trio decided to question Vornmik about the harpies before venturing into their lair and, the next day, were introduced to the goblin skald, Grackle, when the minotaur returned.

“I just w-w-want it to be known that I d-d-don’t feel comfortable going into this without our priests,” whined Chum’lee.

“That’s why I’ve decided to join you,” piped Grackle. “Vornmik doesn’t need me around for awhile so I’ve got some time to kill and, after all I’ve heard, I know you guys are bound to get into some trouble worth singing about. Don’t worry, pig-nose. The Stoneshaper will protect us.”

Traxxus, meanwhile, had some snooping to do and told the party he’d catch up with them later.

Janus, Cul’tharic, Grackle and Chum’lee moved quietly down a bone-littered tunnel when they spotted a filthy, winged hag perched within a high alcove at the end of the hall. The creature had nocked an arrow into her shortbow but hadn’t drawn back the string.

“What brings you to the lair of Mortgul’s Murder, my lovelies?” rasped the harpy in a voice that could sand brick. According to Vornmik, the harpies of the region were just as vile as others of their kind but, since they’d reached a neutral agreement with the minotaurs, they might be willing to talk to the adventurers before attacking.

“I’ve got this,” smiled Janus to his companions. “Fair one, we’ve come in search of a missing dwarf. Perhaps your shimmering eyes have fallen upon him here of late?”

“Laying it on a little thick, don’t you think?” whispered Grackle.

“Huh? What are you talking about?” replied the aasimar with the creepy monster fetish.

“F-f-freak,” remarked Chum’lee under his breath before addressing the harpy. “So, have you seen the dwarf or not?”

“I’ve seen no dwarves this way in a long time, but the mistress might know more,” replied the harpy. “ I see your escorts have arrived. Be careful with these boys, my sisters. The shiny one there and I have a date later tonight.”

A pair of harpies armed with bows had quietly flown in behind the party as they spoke with the hag in the alcove but they held their fire and only directed the party through a tunnel to the west as Grackle began to nervously pump his concertina in an effort to ward off the magic of their voices.

The party was taken through a series of twisting, high-ceilinged passages eventually leading to what appeared to be a rift torn through the wall of the dungeon into a large candle-lit chamber. A blood-stained altar and hanging chain curtains along the walls marked the room as a temple to Zon-Kuthon, the god of darkness, pain and suffering.

A pair of harpies followed the party into the room while the adventurers caught sight of three others clustered near the entrance to the rift. These harpies only seemed curious to hear what was being said in the temple, but their presence didn’t comfort the adventurers. Within the temple, another trio of harpies appeared to be in the midst of preparing the chamber for some ritual. An especially horrid specimen among them hovered toward the party demanding Grackle cease his playing, claiming his music was an affront to their god.

“I am Avertgul, sister of Mortgul and Cardinal of Sorrow here in the temple of The Midnight Lord,” screeched the harpy. “I demand to know why are you here.”

“We’re l-l-looking for someone,” replied Chum’lee. “A d-dwarf.”

“Many have come to us seeking loved ones, friends…enemies. Few have left,” Avertgul hissed through broken, rot-blackened teeth. “I do not remember any dwarves visiting us but, if he is here, you will find him among the bones of the dead or within the blood upon our walls. Dwarves are of no use to us and we do not suffer their company for long.”

“We’d like to l-l-look for him all the same,” said the wizard. “He stole from the Broken Axe tribe and they want him captured.”

“I see. Well, in that case, I wouldn’t tell you where this dwarf is even if I did know,” cackled Avertgul. “If it causes them grief, I hope Markuli and his herd of cud-chewing fools never find their thief.”

“Screw it,” thought Chum’lee who suddenly uttered a syllable of arcane power as he reached into his spell component pouch.

“He’s casting!” shrieked one of Avertgul’s acolytes who had kept a close eye on the adventurers. “We’re under attack!”

Strands of thick, sticky webbing suddenly filled the rift leading into the temple as the acolytes loaded their crossbows.

“Keep them busy, my sisters!” shrieked Avertgul as she winged for the temple’s exit in the south wall. “These fools will regret their mistake! Mortgul will see to that!”

Two of the harpies at the rift entrance quickly flew for reinforcements while the third began to sing seductively from beyond the webs. Janus felt his heart skip at the sound of the siren call of the harpy and pushed carefully through the entangling strands to stand idly at her taloned feet before Grackle could resume his performance. Trapped within the temple with Janus a slave to the song of the hags, the party could now only fight and hope to survive the inbound murder of harpies.

“Weren’t you the guy complaining about not having a cleric?” chastised Grackle to Chum’lee. “Because it sure seems like we’re going to need one now, no thanks to you!”

“I was bored,” was the wizard’s only response.

Cul’tharic, who hadn’t understood a word of the exchange that led to this fight, could only do his best to keep the harpies in the temple from reaching his companions. The lizardman stabbed at a pair of the creatures flanking the party as Chum’lee fired bolts of flame from his fingers while his elemental familiar struck at a low-flying acolyte and Grackle assisted by giving the reptile a burst of speed.

Grackle’s spell helped Cul’tharic to quickly dispatch the harpies he was fighting and, after checking to make sure his companions could handle the acolytes, the lizard rushed off to save Janus who had been lured far away from the battle. Unfortunately, a gang of harpies cut the lizardman off from the assimar and blocked up the end of the rift, shrieking and clawing as they swung their spike-adorned clubs.

Traxxus had finished spying on the minotaurs and stealthily made his way toward the lair of the harpies after getting directions from Vornmik. Wisely choosing not to try and fight every harpy he came across, the halfling managed to slip into a large chamber containing the nests of a dozen or more of the monsters. He could hear the sounds of shrieking and battle not far away, but stopped when he spotted Janus cornered by one of the hags against a wall.

The aasimar seemed to be enjoying the attention of the harpy who sang to him as she cut away at his clothing and the straps holding up his armor and Traxxus managed to resist the harpy’s song and sneak toward the pair for a closer look. Janus didn’t seem to be in any immediate danger but the halfling couldn’t bear to leave a comrade in arms to the ministrations of such a triple-bagger. Quietly, Traxxus crept up behind the harpy as she ran a hooked claw down the assimar’s chest. She seemed to be pressing the haft of her morningstar into Janus’ throat with her other hand and, when Traxxus’s blade met the harpy’s back, the startled, furious creature quickly jerked the spikes of her weapon across the aasimar’s neck tearing loose chunks of flesh.

“Look what you made me do!” howled the harpy as Janus fell to the floor, his deviant dreams of scoring disgusting monster tang dying with him as a geyser of blood sprayed from his neck onto the bosom of his murderer.

“That is so hot,” is probably what Janus would have said if he still had functioning vocal chords but, since he didn’t, he just died after making a few gurgling sounds. Traxxus suddenly felt very bad and a little grossed out, but not so grossed out that he couldn’t finish off the harpy who had just turned his friend into a PEZ dispenser.

Back in the temple, Grackle, Chum’lee and Cul’tharic were dealing with a whole new set of problems.

Avertgul had returned with help. A new pair of harpy warriors replaced the acolytes as Chum’lee managed to burn them out of the air and the harpy priestess had conjured up a spiked chain of pure force to lash at the wizard’s familiar, Gravel. Meanwhile, Cul’tharic continued to suffer under the talons and blows of the six harpies now clustered in the north tunnel. Within moments, Gravel was unconscious and Chum’lee was shot from the shadows with a pair of poisoned arrows.

“Mourn, wizard!” came a shriek from the darkened ceiling of the temple. “Zon-Kuthon has sent me a vision and your suffering on this world is about to come to an end!”

A ghastly harpy descended from the ceiling, her body a road map of stitches and scars, filth falling from her beating wings.

“I am Mortgul, Cardinal of Loss!” cackled the harpy. “It’s okay to scream.”

The harpy warriors quickly charged the wizard and tore into his flesh with their morningstars. The wizard countered with a powerful spell of invisibility in order to hide from the barrage of attacks and moved quickly to a new position. Grackle had become invisible earlier in the battle and sang nervously to fend off the song of the harpies, but his tired lungs were no match for the song of Mortgul. While Chum’lee’s mind was too sharp to be ensnared by the harpy’s song, the goblin suddenly went silent and walked invisibly toward the harpy queen. Having evaded the harpy warriors, Chum’lee conjured a sphere of acid that struck Mortgul causing her to change tactics. The harpy fighters quickly placed themselves between their queen and the origin point of the acid ball while Mortgul stopped singing and landed near the corpses of the two slain acolytes as Grackle shook off the effects of the harpy’s charm. With a few dark words, the harpy queen placed her blackened talons upon the bodies of the dead harpies. Suddenly, both harpies sat up, their eyes milky and staring. The power of Mortgul’s prayer had reanimated them as zombies.

“Find him!” screamed Mortgul. “I want his head on a f_____g plate!”

While the zombies and harpy fighters played a deadly game of Marco Polo with Chum’lee, Grackle moved into position, hoping to get the drop on the harpy queen. Animating his enchanted rope, the goblin attempted to entangle Mortgul by throwing the rope onto her. However, the harpy’s senses were too sharp and she evaded the now-visible goblin’s attack with ease.

By now, Traxxus had emerged from the nest chamber of the harpies and come to Cul’tharic’s aid. The pair of adventurers flanked the harpies and slowly cut away at their numbers, but they could hear the sounds of more harpies approaching from the north.

By feeling about the air, the harpies and zombies had managed to strike Chum’lee a few times, but the wizard was still loose and detonated a fireball among the monsters hoping to even the odds. Hearing Chum’lee’s warning, Grackle retreated to the safety of a far corner and flames erupted across the chamber. However, when the flames died down, the zombies and harpies still beat their wings against the air. Mortgul seemed to dance away from the flames entirely, and called out to Chum’lee.

“Fine, wizard. Try to hide from this.”

Mortgul’s living followers fled away from her as ripples of darkness suddenly burst out from the harpy queen. The room was flooded with negative energy and Chum’lee winced from the pain. Mortgul’s zombies, unaffected by the dark energy, continued to search for the wizard who dropped to his knees hoping to crawl to safety. However, he couldn’t crawl fast enough or far enough to escape the second burst of energy that came only moments later. Still invisible, Chum’lee fell limp upon the floor.

Viewing the goblin as a minor threat, Mortgul had let Grackle escape after his botched attempt at entangling her. Now, the once-more invisible goblin attempted to turn the tide of battle again.

“Get up, little guy! You’re boss needs you!” squeaked the goblin as he placed a healing hand upon Gravel, the earth elemental. Then, as loudly as his shrill, goblin voice could sing, Grackle pumped his concertina and called to Cul’tharic.

“Call upon your savage kin,
Feel the cold blood deep within,
Strike a blow for wondrous grace,
and kill the filthy, winged race!”

Over the shrieking of harpy voices and beating of harpy wings, Cul’tharic heard the goblin’s song and his cold blood boiled. The lizardman’s trident plunged deep into the hearts of the harpies with renewed vigor and, for a moment, the day looked like it was about to be saved.

And then Grackle lost the beat and his right eye to a thunderstone and the viper-like grace of Mortgul’s rapier.

Nope. Sorry, but all you need for the ultimate superhero is a tyranosaur in mechanized power armor.

2) You will have the same problem if you have any combination of two companions. It got to a point I sent them all away and played solo.

3) you can only upgrade their armor, their weapon load-outs can't be changed.

I totally agree with you on 2. The companions will attack anything within range that is even remotely hostile to the player. You've either got to get used to it, ask them to wait for you somewhere else or play without them.

You can upgrade the companion weapons. You just have to give them something better than their starting gear. Since their unique equipment is pretty good, this is sometimes hard to do. Here's a short list of weapons I remember convincing the companions to use.

Cass - Anti-Materiel Rifle, Brush Gun
Lily - Oh Baby!, Annabelle, Minigun
Boone - Anti-Materiel Rifle, Machete Gladius, Gobi Desert Campaign Rifle
Veronica - Pushy, Pew Pew, Oh Baby!
Arcade - Pew Pew, Multiplas Rifle
Raul - Brush Gun, Mysterious Magnum, Liberator

I think the trick is to start with weapons that are close to fully repaired, if not completely repaired and then find a weapon that probably outclasses the weapon the companion uses. Raul's pipe and Cass's shotgun are good examples of low-end weapons that are easily uprgraded.

1. I only ever store garbage in the Novac safe. As far as I know, I've never lost anything from it. If I have, it was beneath notice since it was probably only some dishes or a pack of cigarettes. I organize my gear by container and I've never lost anything from the footlocker (weapons,) wardrobe or dresser (armor,) fridge (food & campfire items,) or desk (workbench items.)

2. Far as I can tell, your companions never affect your gained XP. You get the same amount per kill no matter who kills what. It might have more to do with what you're killing. XP doesn't scale with level so a 10xp raider is always going to be worth 10xp. Also, there are slight variations of some creatures so two geckos that look alike might actually be a 25xp gecko hunter and an 10xp ordinary gecko. If you're actually hurting for XP, snipe bighorners south of Novac. The bulls are worth 50 points alone and their a total cinch to kill.

If you're really concerned with picking up every piece of loot, ditch ED-E for Rex. Rex's sensors highlight containers (including corpses) when you focus your aim. Otherwise, switch Boone to passive and/or pay attention to the direction you're facing after the kill-cam stops. The game will reposition you so you're facing the direction Boone was shooting and give you a clue where to look. Overall, I wouldn't let Boone's itchy trigger finger get to you. Most of the people worth looting are usually at arm's length when the shooting starts because they've been monologuing.

3. If you can't see your companions' weapons and armor in the list of gear, you probably haven't given them any. Companions each have unique weapons and armor you cannot take. Boone doesn't actually acquire his unique armor until after you finish his side quest so he starts with a Merc Grunt outfit you can take if you upgrade his armor. Even if you give the companion better gear, their unique items won't appear in their equipment list. You can, however, view their unique weapon's names on the companion wheel if you scroll to the option to switch from ranged to close combat. Lily, for instance has Lily's Vertibird Sword and Lily's Assault Rifle. You can only see these items if they haven't been replaced. There's no way to view the unique armors, but your companion will automatically switch to something better if you provide them with new threads.

I believe the true victor of this battle will be determined by the findings of the resulting lawsuit after Quesada annd Johns sue and countersue each other for injuries sustained during what is sure to boil down to a slapboxing match. That said and without any knowledge of the details of the suit, I predict the case will eventually be settled out of court favoring Quesada based solely on Disney's resources. DC's lawyers have a storied history of ruthless and impressive wins, but Time Warner can't match the spending power Disney can muster. If The House of Mouse has to borrow from Scrooge McDuck's money vault, they'll draw Time Warner into a legal war of attrition they won't be able to win without significant losses purely out of spite.

Of course, the real losers will be us after both companies raise the price of their comics to cover the legal fees, and we owe it all to Aberzombie for orchestrating this whole plot to pit Quesada and Johns against each other in mortal combat. Thanks alot, jerk.

Sorry Leafar. Calming Karate Kid down only makes him more dangerous. As demonstrated by Mon El's reaction to being sambooed into another solar system.

Also, he has your belt.

The Spirit was bad but, ultimately, forgettable. I remember some of the costumes and I vaguely recall the whole thing carrying the over-the-top, chest-thumping, macho posturing I've come to expect from anything Frank Miller touches.

I'll likely forget much about Sucker Punch within the next four months as well, but I expect it will be a long time before I can discuss its flaws without my brain hulking out as it buckles under the pressure of having to decide what it hates most about this movie.

So, basically, yeah. Worse than The Spirit.

My opinion of this movie has nothing to do with my expectations. I didn't expect this movie to suck. I expected Sucker Punch to be bad but entertaining. If I expect a movie to suck, I just don't pay to watch it.

Sucker Punch was beyond suck. It would be one thing if this movie was just forgettable, but Sucker Punch is a movie that actually makes me angry when I try to think of where to start when describing how absolutely it fails as a film.

Detective Chimp shows Howard his own miserable bomb of a movie, kicks the duck while he is reeling in horror, and wins.

It'll take more than a bad movie that keep the duck grounded.

a silly stripper with daddy issues

Those are only two of the special abilities that enable Lady Death to win this fight.

*badass heavy metal theme music blares from the entry ramp, pyrotechnics engulf the arena setting fire to the maddened, fist-pumping fight fans and a new challenger enters the fray!*

Unlike those Marvel and DC failures, when this lady kills somebody, they stay dead. Also, she's way hotter than that Bauhaus-listening, Hot Topic salesgirl. Chaos Comics for the win!

So, I'm working in Portland for a few days and I'm walking up 10th Ave when I see a poster for "I Saw The Devil" on the side of a building that looks like a bar. Turns out, I'd found Living Room Theaters and they were playing the movie. I was already too late to watch the one screening they were showing per night, but I went back the next night and managed to be the first person into the auditorium.

What an awesome film. It had a brilliant and compelling story, phenomenal acting, engaging characters with depth who actually develop as the story progresses and it was fun to watch. Basically, it was everything Sucker Punch wasn't. After the slouching, groaning and eye-rolling induced by that infuriatingly awful piece of celluloid butt-wipe, I really needed a film like this to restore my hope in the medium (what I'm saying is Sucker Punch is a really bad movie.)

Ugh. Hello readers. My job as a magical journalist and media beast has made keeping up with these journals exceedingly difficult over the last three months. This session is pretty short in comparison to the last few, but it still took me two weeks to finish due to my schedule. Anyway, it's late and I'm tired so here's some adventure for ya. Enjoy.

DAYS 129-131 THE TRAITOR REVEALED

featuring: The World's Largest Adventuring Party

Roch - Dwarf Mystic Theurge
Janus - Aasimar Fighter/Barbarian/Swashbuckler/Dervish
Chum'lee - Human Transmuter
Cul'tharic - NPC Lizardfolk Fighter/Scaled Horror
Shi - Human Cleric of Pharasma
Patreus - Elf Alchemist
Durthannicarr - Human Ranger
Grackle - Goblin Savage Skald

The victorious survivors of the battle with Rashmarik and Saria took a moment to bind their wounds and collect the weapons of the fallen medusa before searching the chamber for any sign of their missing companion, Shi. In a long chamber to the north, Janus discovered what appeared to be a nest of twisted branches, scraps of cloth and small gemstones and coins hanging from bits of string. Near what was determined to be the bed of Saria, the party found a pile of equipment bearing a resemblance to the gear carried by the cleric prompting them to search the small prison cells near the medusa’s lair. There, upon the floor of one of the cells near the skeleton of a long dead minotaur, was Shi, unconscious but alive and non-petrified. It had been Saria’s intent to let the priest stumble around in the dark of the cell until he located the tindertwigs she’d left near his prostrate form. Then, out of the darkness, she would greet him as the fatal flicker of light revealed her horrible beauty to his eyes. Luckily for Shi, his companions had arrived to foil the monster’s evil plot and the priest was saved from the fate that befell Rags and Reg. Restoring Shi to consciousness, the party quickly departed to catch up with Chum’lee’s familiar, Gravel, who had sent its master an empathic pang of fear.

A Red Horn minotaur outside the lair of Rashmarik caught sight of the party as they rounded the corner in response to the earth elemental and quickly shouted to his companions. The elemental had been sent by Chum’lee to search for the golden crossbow bolt the party had received from Gartuk, but the four minotaurs arrived before Gravel could escape with the weapon. Now, the four beastmen were throwing themselves at the party seemingly intent on their destruction but never giving a reason for their sudden enmity toward the group. Though weakened from their fight with the rakshasa and her mate, the adventurers were still able to use their size to their advantage in the narrow passage and they quickly defeated the minotaurs. With the creatures defeated, the party moved into the rakshasa’s lair to search for Gravel and the enchanted bolt and to make a new attempt to enter the monster’s former living quarters.

Entering Rashmarik’s living quarters proved to be quite easy and safe once the party discovered the tentacle trap had not reset and the door was still unlocked from Reg’s previous attempt to access the chamber. Inside, the party found a pair of adjoining rooms. A large four-poster bed curtained with silks dominated the larger of the two rooms and, there, the party discovered the skeleton of a feline-headed humanoid. An impression upon the bed near the skeleton betrayed the morbid sleeping habits of Rashmarik and hinted at even darker practices. The party took a small silver ring from the corpse, but otherwise left the dead thing in peace. The true prize of Rashmarik’s defeat waited in the smaller bedchamber to the south. A sturdy, locked chest greeted the eyes of the adventurers as they entered the room, but it’s impressive lock foiled all their attempts to reveal its contents. It was decided the party would rest within the chamber until they were strong enough to confront Grauki and get to the bottom of their apparent betrayal. Chum’lee conjured up a small shelter large enough to wall off the entrances to the rakshasa’s chamber and the party settled in for the next two days.

***

Grackle Rudenoise was still young when Argliss discovered the statue of Norendithas the Stoneshaper. The goblin, like many of his kin, saw the coming of The Stoneshaper and the rise of Argliss as a sign of prosperity to come and Grackle quickly made a name for himself as a storyteller and historian of the revolt against the Stone Spirit Goblins. It wasn’t long before Argliss took notice of Grackle’s abilities and shortly after the adventurers arrived, the emperor sent a message to the skald.

It was the hobgoblin, Hammerfist, himself who arrived to inform Grackle of his new assignment to carry the tales of the Stoneshaper Tribe to all corners of the dungeon. Grackle spent the next few weeks preparing for his journey and then headed off to Four Waters to find a proper adventuring companion…who promptly disappeared and was discovered shortly after petrified by the magic of the warp gates as the dazed goblin was carried past the warrior in the arms of a minotaur guard.

Grackle was thrown into a cell to await his doom, or so he thought. Shortly after his incarceration, however, another minotaur entered the jail and carried the goblin to the throne room of Markuli, Chieftain of the Broken Axe. The goblin’s gear was returned to him and he was asked to tell the minotaur chief a story about the goblin tribe to the south. Grackle complied and sang two songs about his people before being asked to stop. A kind, female minotaur claiming to be the chief’s primary advisor and diplomat informed Grackle that Markuli would like for him to lead a small contingent of his warriors to meet with Argliss to discuss trade relations. The gleam of jewels caught the goblin’s eyes and he quickly agreed to serve as the minotaurs’ guide. The next day, Grackle led Vornmik and eight minotaur guards into the Goblin Empire.

***

Durthannicarr was a ranger hunting monsters near the borders of Lord Antagonis’ kingdom when he heard rumors of the immense dungeon hidden within the nearby mountains. Excitedly rushing off to find the dungeon, he was soon met by a group of soldiers who promised to show him the way into the dungeon and, after beating and robbing the ranger of most of his belongings, they threw him in to join the rest of the prisoners. Not one to let this get to him, “Carr” quickly went to work with the commune’s hunters and earned enough equipment for a monster hunt. Outfitted with his new gear, the ranger promptly ran off alone and wound up passing through a warp gate into a silent hallway lined with what appeared to be prison cells.

One by one, Carr peered into each of the cells. Many were empty, but a few contained the remains of humanoid creatures too strange to identify. Some had the skulls of dogs while others were horned or winged. The ranger didn’t like what he was seeing, but didn’t want to risk the danger of returning through the warp gate and so he pressed on. Before long, Carr heard the sound of wings beating around a corner and a strange, hoarse cackle. Peeking around the corner, the ranger spotted a pair of horrid, winged women. Bones and scraps of flesh seemed to be twisted into their filthy hair and they spoke to one another in smoke-scorched, rasping voices. “Finally,” thought the ranger. “A chance to kill some real monsters.” Durthannicarr knew the creatures must be harpies and nocked an arrow into his bow as he stepped around the corner.

The first of the creatures fell quickly to Carr’s volley, but the second was only slightly wounded and returned Carr’s gaze with a grin on her lips before opening her grime-encrusted mouth and belting out a series of notes in a sultry tone. Durthannicarr stood dumbfounded. He suddenly couldn’t remember where he was or why he had been trying to kill the beautiful angel before him. He knew only that he must follow her wherever she led.

***

Two days had passed since the adventurers set up camp in Rashmarik’s former lair. A knock on the wall of the enchanted shelter had alerted the party to creatures in the hallway beyond a day before but they chose to ignore it. Later the same day, Janus managed to squeeze his ghost-like form through the lock of the rakshasa’s treasure chest thanks to a potion provided by Patreus but then opted not to scout the tunnels into the Red Horn lair alone despite the protection of his temporary incorporeality. While all this stalling did allow the party to discover they could smash the chest open without risk to its contents, it also resulted in the adventurers missing out on the chance to pick a side in the battle the minotaurs were fighting only a short distance away.

The wall of the magical shelter came down to reveal a contingent of Red Horn barbarians waiting on the other side. Hrumi pushed his way to the front of the group as the adventurers began to make their way out of the tunnel.

“Give me one good reason I shouldn’t kill you right now!” shouted Chum’lee.

“I’ll give you thirty good reasons,” Hrumi replied as he motioned at his warriors. The minotaur couldn’t actually count as high as 30, but he was confident he had enough backup to support his challenge. “Chief Grauki sent us to either find you or kill the rakshasa if you had failed in your mission. We weren’t sent here to fight you, but we’ll defend ourselves if you and your friend are looking for trouble.”

“Somebody told Rashmarik we were coming and now two of our companions are dead! I want to know who it was!” demanded the wizard.

“Your questions will be answered if you follow us,” answered the minotaur.

Cautiously, the party followed Hrumi back to the Red Horn lair where they found Grauki waiting for them among a group of armed warriors and several shackled minotaurs while other minotaurs removed the bodies of the slain from the tunnels. Among the captives was the chief’s own half-sister, Gartuk.

“Here’s your traitor,” spoke Grauki. “Gartuk launched her attack shortly after you left with that useless crossbow bolt.”

True enough, the golden bolt was a fake, its magical aura a fraud created by the rakshasa to trick the party. Gartuk was present when the party was hired to kill the sorceress and her medusa lover and secretly informed the monsters of the plot. Gartuk herself explained how the three had been planning to overthrow Grauki for months, but the adventurers’ arrival had spurred them to move up their plans.

“For all his talk of the purity of battle, Grauki is no different from Markuli!” roared Gartuk. “He’s leading us to ruin and betraying our ancestors! I wanted to take control of the tribe and trick Markuli into reforming the Golden Axe. Then I’d seduce him and convince him to make me his queen by claiming Rashmarik and Saria had organized the revolt and killed Grauki. The rakshasa and the medusa would then fake their deaths during a mock retaliatory strike using my loyal soldiers so they could direct the future of the tribe from the comfort of the shadows.”

“My own husband would need to die during the revolt, but it was worth it for the future of the tribe. Now my husband is dead, my allies are scattered or destroyed and our tribe is doomed.”

“Yes, yes, and you would have gotten away with it, too, were it not for these meddling adventurers and their lizardman. We get it,” replied Grauki.

“What the hell, your chief-ness? You told us we could trust everyone who was in on the plan to kill Rashmarik and Saria!” exclaimed Chum’lee.

“You and your friends have heard the history of my people, you’ve spent the last several days within our borders and witnessing our culture, and somehow you’re surprised I’d be betrayed by a member of my own family?” countered the minotaur.

“So what happens to her now?” asked Janus.

“I leave that up to you and your companions,” replied Grauki. “Normally I’d just kill her for treason and be done with it, but I’ve decided to give her to you to make up for your losses.”

Janus thought of some things he’d like to do with the sturdy, buxom minotaur woman, but then thought better of it.

The adventurers debated various ways to kill Gartuk, but then turned to Cul’tharic who hadn’t understood Grauki’s words.

“Enough have died as a result of her betrayal,” hissed the lizardman. “If she is concerned for her tribe, she should work to make up for her actions.”

“Our new leader would like Gartuk to be put to work,” Chum’lee informed Grauki to the surprise of the party.

“What?” Chum’lee asked his companions. “With Rags gone, we’ve lost our moral anchor and the lizard seems to be the only one of us with the wisdom to do what’s right.”

“I’d rather just kill her, but I’ll see that Gartuk is put to good use,” replied Grauki.

With Rashmarik and Saria dead and Gartuk dealt with, the adventurers collected their reward from Grauki and bid farewell to the Red Horn tribe. Though many of them wanted to be done with the minotaurs and the warp gates of the region, there was still the matter of the imprisoned halfling, Riswan. Uncomfortable with the idea of leaving the halfling behind, the party turned back toward the territory of the Broken Axe.

I really enjoyed exploring the main NV game map and I still like roaming the desert, but the environment of Dead Money makes it difficult to safely explore the area around the Sierra Madre. Chris Avellone said in his blog that they were shooting for a horror experience when they put Dead Money together, but he admits they didn't capture that element as well as he would have liked.

The trick to exploring the villa safely is taking it slow. Between The Cloud, the traps and the Ghost People, there's enough reason not to rush and, given the lack of resources, you'll want to move slowly enough to spot all the loose items stashed around the ruins. Dog/God is the easiest team member to find since he's the closest to where you start. The next time you try Dead Money, select the mission to get him on your Pipboy. Your compass should lead you to the Villa Police Station in the southwest corner of the map. Once you're inside, Dog is locked in the cell right in front of you. You'll have to explore the police station basement to get him out of the cell.

It might also be useful to not use Hardcore mode the first time through Dead Money. The Cloud isn't a constant drain on your life that way and you don't have to worry about companions dying.

Out of curiosity, how did you go from solely GMing to controlling three characters? The word "control" makes it sound more like you were forced to drone a group of DMPCs because some players didn't show up to game. I never get to play one PC, let alone three.

I haven't noticed any difference with the lighting since the patch, but I'm playing on PS3 so maybe it was unaffected. I actually like the brighter wasteland of the Mojave. The area around Vegas wasn't hit nearly as hard as D.C., and it's been over 200 years since the war so it makes sense to me that the Mojave would be less devastated.

Of course, if you prefer things dark and obfuscated, you'll probably enjoy The Cloud. The Sierra Madre is cloaked in perpetual, unnatural night thanks to the mineral-rich haze that hangs over it.

The Iron Duck armor hasn't been forgotten, John. It just wasn't mentioned because it's irrelevant. Power Armor will prove of little use against Detective Chimp's ability to communicate with all forms of animal life. I don't think I need to remind anyone here of Squirrel Girl v. Dr. Doom. Were Bobo to use a similar tactic, I'm afraid we'd still have a stalemate.

You. Will. Be. Underwhelmed.

Watching Sucker Punch is basically like watching a Shojo Mary Sue fanfic brought to life. The grrls all have interchangeable stripper names and pretty much every character is essentially well-dressed cardboard and just as disposable.

The sad part is that early on there is a scene where one of the support hos makes a comment that borders on self-awareness but then Snyder immediately drops any pretense that the rest of the movie is going to be any fun. There really isn't a story here. There's an idea that was probably scrawled onto a napkin at some point, but there isn't a story. The payoff to all this is an ending that perfectly sums up how hollow this film and its characters are.

If that's your thing, knock yourself out.

Given that whole Dark Avengers hullabaloo featuring Daken in Wolverine's garb, that may very well be true and perfectly within the realm of possibility. Of course, certain existentialist philosophers along with their absurdist contemporaries have questioned the veracity of Daken's existence at all or, in the case of the absurdists, postulated his creation was inevitable as a sign that the Marvel universe had not yet reached its quota of insufferable D-Bags or titles featuring the aforementioned D-bags, as is the case for Deadpool.

Of course, I don't need to remind you the Wolverine depicted in the Bayeux Tapestry could very well have been Albert.

Uh, me!

I've already got goblin costumes prepared for the mariachi band.

Did somebody mention Nextwave?

Monica Rambeau dropped the name and her Avenger's affiliation, and is now known as NextWave, leader of H.A.T.E, Highest Anti-Terrorism Effort.

Oh, there it is. I loved Nextwave. Nextwave was actually the team Monica led, not her codename. During her time with the team, she never used a codename. Neither did Aaron Stack (Machine Man,) Tabitha Smith (Boom Boom) or Elsa Bloodstone (Elsa Bloodstone.) The only person who used a codename was The Captain, and that's because he was too drunk to remember his actual name. The team was orginally assembled by H.A.T.E. but jumped ship when they found out the organization was actually a front for The Beyond Corporation, a terrorist megacorporation using the team to field test Ultimate Weapons of Mass Destruction including a clone of Fin Fang Foom and a giant, parasitic, transforming robot samurai. Sadly, Nextwave was cancelled and the exploits of the team were written off as alternate universe hijinks.

So far as I know, Monica has gone back to using the Photon moniker.

The Silent City by Erez Yakin, published by Kitchen Sink Press.

Oh, nevermind. This book doesn't have any words so I guess you can't actually read it. Forget I said anything.

You bring up a valid point, VM. Bobo's traditional attire does evoke Sherlock Holmes and he does cut a fine figure in such apparel. However, we must keep in mind Howard is not a detective or even a private investigator. He's just an average duck dressed in a manner befitting a middle-aged male of Duckworld at the time of his forceful extraction from that universe. In a our own world, a fedora, jacket and tie were once considered quite in vogue and to this day many men sport the look. To further legitimize the badassness of Howard's ensemble, I would like to submit the following image into evidence. Now, it seems a declaration of victory based on fashion would be a matter of personal taste and I won't argue your predilection toward the classic finery of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's most famous creation. However, methinks you are selling the mallard short when you state his outfit is incomplete.

Also, Aberzombie, while we are on the topic of anomalies seemingly depicting famous funny book characters, I understand there is a section of the Bayeux Tapestry, which clearly depicts Groo the Wanderer slicing Wolverine in twain. I can only surmise this battle took place during one of the X-Men's many migraine-inducing time travel arcs.

Thanks for the rock! I'll just put it over here on this shelf next to my potato chip shaped liked the Virgin Mary that kind of looks like Moon Knight sambooing Deadpool through a coffee table.

He can harness the powers of Order itself, which is typically blue in color.

Waitaminnit!? Dr. Fate has Blue Magic?! Sorry man, but I don't think Strange can counter the groove-inducing power of 70's R&B. I'm gonna have to go with Dr. Fate on this one.

I was once nibbled to death by a duck. It was possibly the most adorable end I've ever met.

Aberzombie, I find your argument that Detective Chimp would win this match based solely on your dislike for Howard the Duck to be difficult to refute. Obviously, you've done some research on this matter and, for that, I salute you. Bravo!

Who let a serious discussion get in here and when did I agree with anyone about Howard defeating Bobo? All I wrote is that if the two were betting on a boxing match, it would be the duck's misfortune to owe his winnings to the bartender after the chimp sneaks off without paying his tab. That's an anti-victory in classic Howard fashion. The only winner there is life itself, proving once again Howard just can't catch a break.

At least he's got a hot girlfriend.

As both Dragonsong and Mac pointed out, both Detective Chimp and Howard have access to dimension-b@$&&$$#-tearing artifacts of mystical power and the knowledge of what to do with them. I, as always, remain impartial in this matter and stand by my assertion that any real fight between these two goliaths would result in the destruction of at least 17 universes and one bagel stand. Thus, a true winner would likely never be determined as everyone within the closest 17 universes and one bagel stand owner would be dead and unable to declare a victor.

Edit:
Really? They censored b@~+&%~&?

I don't really see this fight ending as a result of fisticuffs, but let's examine our fighters' martial capabilities for a moment.

Howard is a master of Quack Fu. That, combined with his irritability makes him more than the equal of Batman.

Detective Chimp, on the other hand, is a chimp and, therefore, what he lacks in martial ability, he makes up for in crazy chimp strength and durability. Given that and his keen intellect and strategic genius, I think we can agree that Detective Chimp would easily trounce Captain America.

Being so evenly matched, any physical contest between these two titans would likely devolve into a comical brawl pitting Howard's angst-filled rage against Bobo's poo-flinging, primal savagery, quite possibly illustrated as a small dust cloud with onomatopoeia flying out of it. Lest the cosmos itself be torn asunder, an altercation of such magnitude could only end with both parties calling a truce and settling their differences over a bottle of bourbon, a smoke and a friendly wager on heavyweight boxing. Afterall, why should these two gods wage bloody carnage on one another when they can watch a pair of dumb humans beat on each other for their amusement?

My money is on Howard's fighter coming out on top while Bobo sneaks out leaving the duck to pay the bar tab with the money he just won.

Also, Leafar, thanks for having the sense of humor to post in this obvious tongue-in-cheek response to your recent vs threads. At least, I hope you have a sense of humor and you aren't taking any of this seriously because, wow, I mean, just, wow.

Ah, yes. The classic ringside-floozy maneuver. It could work. However, I'll see your Beverly and raise you one Rex the Wonder Dog. With Rex in Bobo's corner, the chimp and the duck are back on an even playing field. This game is going into extra innings!

I'm interested enough that I'd watch this. The trailer makes it seem like this could easily devolve into stereotypical gamer-bashing or some kind of rehab-for-gamers story but, hopefully, there is more to it than that.

You can keep your tired, old, Vs. arguments. This is the fight that really matters. The Vs. match to end all Vs. matches! This is where we separate the mallards from the bonobos!

Howard the Duck is a duck! He's trapped in a world he never made! He smokes cigars and wears a little fedora!

Detective Chimp is a detective and a chimp! He likes to get drunk! He smokes cigarettes and wears a deerstalker!

That's all you need to know! Will it be Bedtime for Bobo or will Howard receive a butt-kicking he never asked for?! More importantly, why are you still reading this?! Go outside and get some sun! Spring is here! Go and out and meet a nice girl! Maybe build a squirrel feeder together!

I'm sure it's awesome, but I can wait. The comic store in town rents indy and cult movies so I usually have to wait for them to get movies like this. The theater here finally screened Black Swan once it was a lock for a nomination, and me and the comic shop owner were the only people in the auditorium. So sad.

Being from the Southwest, I intend to hire undocumented laborers from Meh-hee-koh to handle all my GMing duties. For a case of beer and about $100, I can even replace all my players.

I wonder what it would cost to replace my minis with illegal immigrants armed with boffers and dressed as orcs?

I'm really looking forward to renting this when it comes out on DVD/Netflix next year.

Ha ha! You live in a cinematic wasteland!

*sigh*

How good a movie is has little to do with whether or not a sequel is made. I submit Leprechauns 2-6 as evidence.

If the jury will allow, I would also like to submit that Jason Momoa, as Conan, resembles an angry, neanderthal, failed gender-reassignment patient.

Laserbeard. That's it. Just Laserbeard.

Anybody here download Dead Money? I have it, but I was wondering what the general opinion of the DLC is.

Personally, I thought it was kind of a chore. I thought I'd like it more, but the poison fog and head-erupting radio signals take some of the fun out of exploring the map. Some of the new equipment is neat and the history of the Sierra Madre is interesting, but I kind of felt rushed to finish the adventure and get back to the Mojave. Maybe it's because I had a bomb around my neck.

For our most recent bi-weekly gaming session...

Something similar just happened in the World's Largest Dungeon game I'm running. The players were hired by a minotaur chief to assassinate his allies, a medusa and a rakshasa. The medusa and rakshasa had spies within the minotaur's tribe who informed them the players were coming for them and moved up their own plans to turn on the minotaur chief. The medusa and rakshasa lured the players into a trap and planned to kill them while their minotaur spies carried out a coup on the tribe's chief. The party barely survived the encounter with the monsters and decided to take a break not knowing the minotaurs were, at that same moment, involved in a civil war. After three days resting in a Secure Shelter, they come out to find they missed the entire battle I had prepared for them to take part in.

At one point, I had a small group of minotaurs come by and knock on the wall of the shelter to get the players' attention (the wizard had positioned the wall of the shelter to block off a hallway so they couldn't look outside.) One of the players actually told me he was going to knock back and tell whoever it was to go away because he was trying to sleep. On the second day, another player had 14 minutes in Gaseous Form to explore the tunnels outside the shelter (and possibly discover a group of minotaurs fighting one another) but decided he'd rather play it safe and stay put with the rest of the party. By the end of the session, the party had only killed four of the traitor minotaurs and one of the players (the wizard, coincidentally) wondered aloud why they hadn't had more encounters.

Vital Strike isn't a standard action the way I read it.

Standard Actions

Most of the common actions characters take, aside from movement, fall into the realm of standard actions.

Attack
Making an attack is a standard action.

Vital Strike = Attack Action = Standard Action

Vital Strike uses a Standard Action meaning the creature makes only one attack that round. A creature may not make one Vital Strike and then continue making additional attacks that deal normal damage. That's why it won't work with Flurry, Full Attack, Whirlwind, etc. You're giving up your additonal attacks in exchange for putting all your umph behind one dedicated strike.

Think of VS as a "charged attack" similar to what you might see in a video game. You can tap your attack button quickly, hoping all your attacks connect for big damage or hold the attack button down for a few seconds timing your strike to deliver a single, powerful blow. The time you lose during the round giving up your additional attacks is the power you gain behind your vital strike.

The hood looks awesome and it fits from a design perspective (cobras being "hooded" afterall,) but it isn't very practical. I imagine the commander has to hold that thing on with both hands any time a wind kicks up or it will either blow off or leave him temporarily blinded. The reflective helmet, on the other hand, looks pretty cool and it's practical and intimidating but it doesn't really say "cobra" to me. It just makes him look like he's a higher-ranking viper or Cobra infantryman. Vipers wore the same reflective mask making them ideal faceless minions and the infantry had the same helmet, but I think Cobra Commander would want to stand out from his troops. Ultimately, I'm split on the hood/helmet look. Both are equally good and much better than the battle armor, the awful live-action version or this.

Dr. Venom was a hack who never even got an action figure and died like a punk. Dr. Mindbender was a monocle-wearing psycho with an awesome moustache who experimented on himself and plundered the tombs of history's greatest jerks. This is no contest.