Urizen's page

Why do you hate me, Taig?

3,140 new posts?

Also, would be nice if some budding artists would contribute to this project ... just because ...

:)

Mike frightens me with his beasties.

Even the cute ones? They're furballs of hate. Just waiting to take my hit points.

Mike also likes to (in)directly kill my PCs in real life.

I owe him a TPK.

This is how I may have to pay bills after 3 years w/o stable employment.

<takes off clothes>

Good Morning FawtL's! So I see Kirk told you guys about our big summer move. :) Im very excited. Its a whole new ball game for me. No more retail. Ill be doing payables and apprentice accounting.

My new boss is very agreeable and laid back. So much so that I am to write my two year contact myself and he will tweak it if he feels it needs it. I was hoping you could help me Sebastian.. if you have some time. I have no idea how to even begin. This request for advice is not limited to the pony.. in case any of you other professionals have a few spare minutes :)

Just hopped in briefly to read / skim about the FAWESOME news. :D

You may resume chaos & disorder.

Urizen wrote:

Given what you do for a living, someone will be drawing disability prematurely and I'll cause a bio-hazard. You don't want me anywhere near that stuff. :D

Aw c'mon. I've done this for ten years and I'm fine... you've met me. ;)

Why do you think we're not allowed to occupy the same state again? They're worried we'll set something off.

#drowdiscrimination

I want some job interviews. I'm a lot smarter than I am deaf.

Seriously.

I'll even take an eight hour course to learn how to kick ass in the workplace.

Urizen sighting!!!

It's clearly your fault. You must've had a high level summoning spell tucked under your plumage.

EDIT: While I'm checking what's under your plumage ... nekkid.

BigNorseWolf wrote:

Hug the lightweight and fall over.

Forget 8 hour courses. My elementary school had a battledome.

haha that was actually something taught in those 9 years of middle-high school wrestling: If your opponent is 8 in or more shorter than you, do that. It works. I know, I was only 5'4 until I hit 19. 8/

Imagine if you had that 8 hour training course tucked into that nine years of grade school wrestling? You'd have gone to Iowa on a full-ride scholarship. Dan Gable would have given you the red carpet treatment. He'd even show you an unsanctioned reach around.

I wonder if there's a three hour version. I need to squeeze in some snacks.

I dunno. Nerd rage is serious business.

Don't touch my dice, bro.

#makesthreateninggestures

Forget eight-hours. What can I learn in four hours? I need a nap.

I'll bite.

1) Where's this 8 hour class I can sign up for to make me Chuck Norris indestructible?

2) Why are you unable to join the military or the police? With an 8 hour course that would make a 19 year old have some serious combat training, you'd think we'd be whipping ass overseas and would want to have more of those types on the front lines. Right?

Crap. I'm procrastinating from doing my homework AND sitting naked, too.

And this jar of peanut butter isn't going to eat itself. Nor will that energy drink consume itself, either.

It's also 19 degrees outside.

I should throw a party and involve blackjack and hookers.

On second thought, forget the party.

Urizen wrote:

It means you should schedule a visit to see a psychiatrist, immerse yourself into a new hobby to fill up your free time, watch reruns of the 700 Club, or cease and desist OTD trolling?

.

Why does it mean that?

** spoiler omitted **

.

It means you should schedule a visit to see a psychiatrist, immerse yourself into a new hobby to fill up your free time, watch reruns of the 700 Club, or cease and desist OTD trolling?

Aberzombie wrote:

Justin Franklin wrote:

Uh oh the little one is awake.

I said the same thing earlier this morning around 0500.

*Channeling Urizen*

Did your wife take care of it?

Rawr.

Keep this up and you're about due for your own Urizen simulacrum.

soon I will outnumber the jacks ... and then the path toward the dark side to rule the Internet's thirty-fours shall commence ...

I prefer to think I'm simply talking to myself and anyone who decides to respond is a figment of my overactive imagination.

What the hell? I just got word about this, so I stumbled over into this thread.

This is a trap. You're trying to wrestle me from my atheism to follow the one true god.

The Frog God.

How amphibimalevolent of you.

I don't know if that's romantic, per se, but my wife and I have non-traditional notions of romance.

I applaud you for attempting to participate in BDSM at a restaurant. But I admit that 'check please' as the safe word is a nice touch.

Best conversation ever with my roommate:

Me: "You know, I just realized that I know four openly schizophrenic people, and they all have extensive record collections. You think there's any sort of correlation between the two?"

Roommate: Long pause. "Well... don't date a chick who collects records?"

That would be a snippet which would make into a status update I'd post if I was involved. Awesome!

At some point you have to ask yourself: would you rather have a bff who will always be well-behaved and polite at the dinner table or would you rather have a bff who would tackle a cop in riot gear to save your ass.

I have no regrets.

Especially if tackle is a euphemism.

Your Highness

I loved this when I saw it in the theaters and I loved it when I watched it on DVD.

I've seen people on here talk shiznit about it, but I think it's the best D&D movie evah! A+.

I saw it in the theater, too.

NEEDS MOAR GRATUITOUS NATALIE PORTMAN ASS SCENES

I AM DISAPPOINT

That sounds lovely, Drejk. I could go for a long ***k right now...

You need to roll with FHDM during his evening job. I'm sure he knows all the long ***k spots.

Aberzombie wrote:

I keep telling you people those little bastards are evil, but does anyone listen to me...?

Anyone heard anything? I think that the wind started blowing...

It was the sound of a WIS drain reading some of the latest posts in OTD.

I have not had fried cameltoe. It looks fantastic.

It behooves me to try this, but I don't live in NYC; I must defer to the Nubian Ninjaneer. Which of the five boroughs can FHDM sample some?

[stops] stroking black manliness

o.O

Let me explain it in two words that you'll understand, Comrade:

Greek Fire.

So simple, a goblin can get it.

And burn it.

Vive le Galt!

Down with Salt!

Feiern, indem sie trinkt Bier und hört Metal-Musik!

> . >

< . <

o.O

Jail? No.

Hell via Syracuse?

Certainly.

I was in the pub yesterday because gaming was canceled

had a couple of ciders and played Scat with teo friends

does anyone know Scat?

I don't think I'll do anything involving scat with myself or with friends. All you, buddy. ALL YOU.

Freehold DM wrote:

Urizen wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

Urizen wrote:

Aberzombie wrote:

I refuse to click on a link that's labeled German Sparkle Party - it just sounds too.....Urizen.

Then you should totally check out Lemon Party.

I only know of Cream Lemon.

You've obviously visited one before by that remark. I'll bet it's during your second job.

No, I knew of it before the second job - - its one of the first hentai I know of. The Wikipedia entry gives it a VERY bad introduction, but check it out.

He was referring to Lemon Party.

** spoiler omitted **

Your angelic visage is anything but. You are but cake. A beefcake full of yummy lies.

Emperor7 wrote:

~This job would be better with beer. Lots and lots of beer.~

This is my work song.

I think that goes for many blow jobs.

Sounds glorious to me.

I refuse to click on a link that's labeled German Sparkle Party - it just sounds too.....Urizen.

Then you should totally check out Lemon Party.

Get with the times, you Green Loving Red-Bearded Bolshevik Luddite. ;-)

Sharoth wrote:

I love my job. ~bang~ I love my job. ~bang~ I love my job. ~bang~ I love my job. ~bang~ I love my job. ~bang~ I love my job. ~bang~ I love my job. ~bang~ I love my job. ~bang~ I love my job. ~bang~ I love my job. ~bang~ I love my job. ~bang~ I love my job. ~bang~ I love my job. ~bang~ I love my job. ~bang~ I love my job. ~bang~

I wish I got to spend that much time banging at my workplace.

I wish I had a work place to spend that much time banging.

So. I saw another good show last night. I was ready to leave and then I saw a box of Popeye's. It belonged to the promoter's adoptive son, so as I was handing it to him, he said he was going to toss it.

There were five perfectly intact breast pieces in there.

ONE DOES NOT TOSS OUT POPEYES'!

So I've been grazing on it for the past several hours.

Frak! I have to [redacted] receptionists. Like I have time for that. Or to make sure the replacement is [redacted] properly. :/

You look like you could use some help, there. If there wasn't this blasted mortgage, I think I'm an excellent candidate for the position to [redacted] receptionists. Don't want to get your wife on your bad side as it is.

And crunchy.

ERMAHGERD! GIVE US NUMERIA ALREADY!

It's not a matter of if or when. It's a matter of WANT NOW, JJ.

<tapping fingers>

I'll be waiting.

:)

I've already been a fan on Facebook.

But ... something's missing on the list of selections. Looks pretty bleak. ;-)

Kind of like the spurious topic starters in OTD by the OP.

THIS IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN SAYING ALL ALONG!

DUH! ALIENS!

3.5 Loyalist wrote:

So if someone was transgendered, I'd have no problem with them being whatever, but if they try to bullsh*t me, I am going to look into their eyes and ask, "really? Is that so... Jimmy?" Because there is seizing your own identity, and saying you are this, but there is also bullshi**ing other people, and claiming/trying to be what you feel is right for you, but which isn't entirely correct.

So is a 400-pound person who lost 250 pounds after gastroplasty really just a fat person lying to you about their weight? "I'm sorry—you're trying to pass as skinny, but I detect a looseness in your skin that says otherwise, tubby."

3.5 Loyalist wrote:

Ah but they get to choose. They choose it every day as they try to re-make themselves and approach what seems more natural for them. Moving away from how they were raised, departing from old gender zones for greener pastures is indeed choice and agency. You can try the they are victims argument, and I am partially sympathetic, but that they exist as a group and engage in transformations, long processes of change, learning and operations, more puts them like many other moderns for me. Groping about desperately, to garb ourselves in comforting costumes. In this case, the fixation is on gender, and on righting what is seen as wrong. I'm a he, a man in a woman's body, I'm a she, a woman in a man's body.

The bad news is, we are all confused, angry and make our choices. The good news is we can gain comfort by re-fashioning ourselves. Good on them!

So take the 400-pound person who's trying to get down to 150 by dieting, and is halfway there. You can choose to treat them as the person they want to become, or you can choose to treat them as the person they don't want to be anymore. I think one of those choices makes you a decent person, and the other one makes you a jerk.

Excellent point, Vic. I say that in all sympathy because I am individual #1 (surgery) in this example after struggling time and time again being individual #2 (dieting). In light of the first method, I've no longer have to deal with weight yo-yo'ing and managed to knock out a number of other health problems that have not reoccurred.

LazarX wrote:

The folks who tried to flood Tokyo's subways with Saran nerve gas were members of a Buddhist cult.

I think there is an operative word in that sentence that weighs pretty heavily.

I was trying to figure out when Saran™ Plastic Wrap came out with a nerve gas.

Probably just as suffocating.

Can you see how excited I was for you?

Awkward. <covers groin>

I think it might be a Tensor gone bad, but I have not the means to figure out which one.

Judging solely by appearances ...

All of them.

I'm waiting for one of the Thorns to be named Damien.

<insert ominous music>

There's only one way to stop this madness.

Massive social networking shares of memes to get it into public awareness to call forth for a plan to be put into action.

Just like Kony.

Urizen wrote:

The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:

Urizen wrote:

The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:

Possible girl #3. This is getting really confusing.

** spoiler omitted **

** spoiler omitted **

** spoiler omitted **

** spoiler omitted **

I'll stop bugging you guys.

DARTH HANK FINDS YOUR LEVEL OF EMO DISTURBING.

DO NOT ANGER DARTH HANK.

in the meantime, I will be waiting to see the gallery for contestants 3 through 12.

Urizen wrote:

The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:

Possible girl #3. This is getting really confusing.

** spoiler omitted **

** spoiler omitted **

** spoiler omitted **