The Now Flying Dire Lemmings's page

The Lemming take the opportunity. They grab Frogskin, who has been knocked unconscious, and flee. The Defectives chase after them, but not far. They don't bother going after what is left of the Lemmings.

The Lemmings struggle to fight back, but they have virtually no chance. They have been tricked. And now they are trapped.

"Too...strong...."
The image of the Lemming disappears.

"Can't get out!"

A Lemming flies in to help.
Smrf?

*Looks up while trying to chew anti-kobold device*
Huh?

LEMMINGS! Attack!

CourtFool wrote:

licks Kobold Cleaver

AIIIIII!! You shall pay for this, you and all of your poodles!!!

LEMMINGS, ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!

ROAR!!!

*Suddenly, millions of Lemmings charge from KC's Profile at the poodles. Growling and roaring, the Lemmings attack.

Lemmings, go. Away. Live. There is no need for you all to die. We shall cover your retreat. I fear that this shall be the Pigeons' last stand...alas, for my uncle, and for those whom I called friends...

CHARRRRRRRRGE!!!!

Very, well, leader.

*Suddenly, 5 Lemmings plod into teh thread. They are weak from hunger, and look exhausted*
Hi, Master. We back.

We are amused by your attempt at defiance. But it is futile.

*Sends ray of converting at Lemmings*

*Most Lemmings dodge, though a few are converted*

GRRRR!!!!! To war, LEMMINGS!!! TO ME!!!!

RARRR!!! YOU NOT CONVERT US WITHOUT A FIGHT!!!

The Now Flying Dire Lemmings wrote:

The Dire Pigeons of Doom wrote:

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

The Dire Pigeons of Doom wrote:

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

The Dire Pigeons of Doom wrote:

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

The Dire Pigeons of Doom wrote:

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

The Dire Pigeons of Doom wrote:

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

The Dire Pigeons of Doom wrote:

Kobold Cleaver. You have murdered Jay Frogskin. Explain yourself.

I don't need to explain myself to you Pigeons. Jay Frogskin was weak, and he had to be disposed of.

Heh, you're not as honorable as we thought, KC. To kill a fellow Paizonian--

He was not a 'fellow'. he was a servant. A slave. Worst still, a disloyal one.

He was not disloyal. You were simply too rash to imagine that there might be a better approach to your problem.

I AM AT WAR, PIGEONS!!! I DO NOT HAVE THE TIME TO WORRY TAHT MY SERVANT WILL BETRAY ME TO THE ENEMY!!!

And who is this 'enemy'? Please, for the benefit of your fellows.

You are. I know of your plans.

We are the 'enemy'? Then, let us FIGHT!!!!!

LEMMINGS, ATTACK!!!!

Pigeons, KILL!!!!

GRARRRR!!!! CHARRRRGE!!!

There are the Lemmings! Transform them All!

AUGH!!!! HELP US, KOBOLD CLEAVER!

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

The Dire Pigeons of Doom wrote:

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

The Dire Pigeons of Doom wrote:

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

The Dire Pigeons of Doom wrote:

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

The Dire Pigeons of Doom wrote:

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

The Dire Pigeons of Doom wrote:

Kobold Cleaver. You have murdered Jay Frogskin. Explain yourself.

I don't need to explain myself to you Pigeons. Jay Frogskin was weak, and he had to be disposed of.

Heh, you're not as honorable as we thought, KC. To kill a fellow Paizonian--

He was not a 'fellow'. he was a servant. A slave. Worst still, a disloyal one.

He was not disloyal. You were simply too rash to imagine that there might be a better approach to your problem.

I AM AT WAR, PIGEONS!!! I DO NOT HAVE THE TIME TO WORRY TAHT MY SERVANT WILL BETRAY ME TO THE ENEMY!!!

And who is this 'enemy'? Please, for the benefit of your fellows.

You are. I know of your plans.

We are the 'enemy'? Then, let us FIGHT!!!!!

LEMMINGS, ATTACK!!!!

Pigeons, KILL!!!!

GRARRRR!!!! CHARRRRGE!!!

Sir, I have the flamethrower ready...take cover behind JRHM and I will take care of these lemmings...

[BLASTS LEMMINGS TO ASHES]

You kill Lemming 1, 2, and...ummm...4?

Oh well. You die!

The Now Flying Dire Lemmings wrote:

The Dire Pigeons of Doom wrote:

Panama Jack wrote:

HAW! KC leaped into the false safe-room/anti-magic brig! Surrender and leave, minions, or your master will rot!

Minions?! HOW DARE YOU! WE SERVE NONE BUT OURSELVES!!!

And how much do you know about Lemmings?

Master in Saferoom?

We save him!! CHARRRGE!!!

[The vermin bounce harmlessly off the impenetrable titanium door to the brig]

We not charging Brigg. We charging you. That save Master.

Panama Jack wrote:

HAW! KC leaped into the false safe-room/anti-magic brig! Surrender and leave, minions, or your master will rot!

Minions?! HOW DARE YOU! WE SERVE NONE BUT OURSELVES!!!

And how much do you know about Lemmings?

Master in Saferoom?

We save him!! CHARRRGE!!!

The Now Flying Dire Lemmings wrote:

*Takes another step to make sure the Master isn't caught in a trap*

[Which brings him a step to close to the irresistibly slippery pool of oil around the ledge of the already sprung pit trap]

BLAM!
Ha ha! Down he goes!

*Flies up, over pit*

What that noise we hearing outside?

*Takes another step to make sure the Master isn't caught in a trap*

*wakes up from sleep* What the hell is all of that noise? *sees what's going on* Get out of our clubhouse! *gets his gun starts blasting the Dire Lemmings*

ROOOAR!!! FOR THE MASTER!!!! *Leaps at Jack's Right Hand Man*

Not with sunblock in your eyes!

[Squirt!]

*Puts on sunglasses*

*Bites off new wooden leg*

That was the umbrella stand! Ha! Ha!

BLAM!

*Yelps* *Bites off arm*

We can bite off every part of you.

[Hopping about] Well done Reggie! Behold, the lizard slips into the oily nethers!

Now, bring me my other wooden leg! [Steadies against wall to aim reloaded fouling piece at the dire lemming.]

RARRRRR!!! *Bites off other leg*

CHARRRRRRRRRRGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Bites off leg of Jack*

Jay Frogskin wrote:

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

Jay Frogskin wrote:

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

Panama Jack wrote:

Aims at gulls BLAM!

*Slashes at Panama Jack* WHAM!

Frogskin! You have to get its eyes! They are its only weakness!

I'M NOT GETTING PAID ENOUGH FOR THIS!!!!

YOU CAN HAVE A RAISE!!! JUST GET OUT OF HERE!!!

Finally, an order I can obey! *Teleports*

Son of a b*tch!! He stole my teleport scroll! Now how do I get out of here! *Slashes at Jacks* I NEED SOME HELP HERE!!!

You call, Boss?

We have 4 'A' cards, is that good?

Callous Jack wrote:

Dragonborn3 wrote:

The Lemmings are my little flying army.. So Says Froggy President!

Say wha...? Yer stole the lemmings from thuh kobold?

I prefer the term liberated...

What you people talking about?

The Now Flying Dire Lemmings wrote:

Primary Adjunct of paizomatix 0 wrote:

Rights are Irrelevant

You will be Assimilated
Resistance Is Futile

RARRRR!!!

*Chomp robots*

As soon as you bit into one of us, PaizoMatix nano-probes would enter your system and begin your assimilation.

Your attack is futile. It brings you closer to the collective.

Resistance is Futile!
You will be assimilated.

They not survive our stomach acids.

ROOOOAR!!!!!! ATTACK!!!!!

Rights are Irrelevant

You will be Assimilated
Resistance Is Futile

RARRRR!!!

*Chomp robots*

*jumps in air, spins around, nips at lemmings*

*Chomps ear*

Celebrate good tymes!

*Sniffs frog*

The Now Flying Dire Lemmings wrote:

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

The Now Flying Dire Lemmings wrote:

The Dire Pigeons of Doom wrote:

For Yugolo--Pigeions! DIE!!!

Ow......

*Collapses*

DAMMIT!!! You killed their leader!!!

Waaaa...

Bwahahahahaha!!! Face the wrath of 3rd edition! Yugo--Pigeons unite! DIE!!!

You never win!!! REVENGE!!!!

The Now Flying Dire Lemmings wrote:

The Dire Pigeons of Doom wrote:

For Yugolo--Pigeions! DIE!!!

Ow......

*Collapses*

DAMMIT!!! You killed their leader!!!

Waaaa...

For Yugolo--Pigeions! DIE!!!

Ow......

*Collapses*

CHARRRRGE!!!

Allhate Insurance wrote:

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

Allhate Insurance wrote:

Then you leave us no choice but to invoke the "Santa Clause". We will now take possession of all your worldly belongings, including your phylactery, and have the elves convert them to toys for all of the good little boys and girls of the world. As of Christmas, you will be left with nothing and cease to exist.

If you wish to continue coverage, please contact us before December 24.

Allhate Insurance wishes to thank you for your patronage.

Have a nice day.

Bleep! Bleep! Made Up Clause Alert! Made Up Clause Alert! This is not a drill! Lemmings, to arms!

This clause is not a made up clause. I direct you to the invisible ink section below the fine print on the hidden page of your insurance contract. In paragraph 6 of subsection FF, after deciphering the legal hieroglyphics and incantations, the Santa Clause is clearly spelled out in ancient elven. Thus, your possessions are forfeit upon cessation of your premium payments.

We will now commence with the collection of your assets.

Ah, but you seem top have forgotten that should it be written in elven, the clause is immediately ignored. Lemmings, get 'em!

...
...Lemmings?

Physical Assault! Physical Assault!

Allhate Insurance wrote:

Then you leave us no choice but to invoke the "Santa Clause". We will now take possession of all your worldly belongings, including your phylactery, and have the elves convert them to toys for all of the good little boys and girls of the world. As of Christmas, you will be left with nothing and cease to exist.

If you wish to continue coverage, please contact us before December 24.

Allhate Insurance wishes to thank you for your patronage.

Have a nice day.

Bleep! Bleep! Made Up Clause Alert! Made Up Clause Alert! This is not a drill! Lemmings, to arms!

Grrrr....

*Chomps off head*
*Converts to dog food in stomach*
*Feeds to poodles*

Pigeons is calling truce, so...
CHARRRRGE!!!

Huh?

Pigeons, why you doing this? We hear you plotting to get 'untitled' thread closed, but we not know why.

Big Pappy allus tol' me, "Never shoot no amm U nition what be smarter than yew." I allus go by what Big Pappy tol' me.

*Chomp off head*

Admiral Ackbar wrote:

It's a trap?

Yes, it is.

ATTTTAAAAAACK!!!!!!

Rhavin wrote:

Not that I can do anythign about it or influence the people who come onto these boards, but I need to know if I'm sugar-coating my memories when I think of the paizo boards pre 4-E announcement as a nicer and more polite environment.

I remember being stunned at the civility of the boards when I first started having come from the flaming troll-pool of the WoTC boards. Lately it's seemed to me that people are taking 4E and Pathfinder as excuses to be arrogant and rude for no reason other than that there are no real consequences. I remember being stunned at the literacy of the posters who treated these boards as what they are: a forum for the literate and civil discussion of a mutually enjoyed hobby.

So where are those glory days of yesteryear? Are they only in my memories or did they never actually exist?

'Re you suggestin' we ain't polite?

Time ta rouse up them lemmins.

Hahaha prepare to--

*Something splats on heads*

Kill all monkeys!!!!

We intimidated by big words.
Assumes pointing-to-dead-monkey-as-if-Lemmings-had-killed-it-themselves- post.

mwbeeler wrote:

BluePigeon wrote:

Where?

Bottom of page 9 (though it could be a monkey. I swear there is a second one in there too somewhere.

It is a monkey.

We know what monkey is. That is a monkey.

BluePigeon wrote:

But who's the secret squirrel. It can't be him. That furry little bastard has accomplices, I know it. They were up to something.

The secret squirrel is a myth. Ignore him. "Pay no attention to the squirrel behind the curtain."

*Pull curtain aside*

'Yap! Yap! Yap!'

Hey who set these flying gerbils on me? Shoo!

Die! Die! Die!

MONKEYS!!! DIE!!!