The Jade's page

Worth mentioning, I have dreamt story ideas, songs, melodies, riddles and jokes that did translate well after revisiting them soberly in the morning.

Special powers? Well, I've enjoying the power of astral projection and limited hop flight in some dreams and bird's flight in others (as in... I was a bird). I've been able to jump down from tall buildings and land softly.

But the thing about my dreams is that, of all I can recall, I was somehow able to escape all threat. When I was three and dreamt of Godzilla rampaging through my city by the bay, I'd just play dead and he'd pass.

Age fifteen and Billy Dee Williams is a police detective coming after me with a Colt .45 in hand (not the beverage). I was able to run backwards, down the street at about sixty miles per hour. He was so shocked he never even tried to take a shot.

I dreamt I was in a cabin styled house in the deep woods with a Jason Voorhees type, and when he came at me I convinced him I was his little sister (I'm a dude, but he never had a little brother so the role was what it was) and that it was all the other people I came with who had to die. Which they soon did. I practically skipped out of that horrorfest whistling The Fishin' Hole.

Finally, in one dream I was engaged in a scuffle on the back of a moving dumptruck driving downhill and lost my balance. Right as I was about to fall off I awoke in my dream and froze frame, then reset myself at the top. My first clearly lucid dream where I said, "Hey... I'm awake in my own dream... I could do anything." I don't recall having too many more.

Before this begins to sound like the dreams of an "I can't allow myself to die" powergamer...

Not every dream has seen me protected. At seventeen I had a dream where I lay dying in a closet and I imagined my vital signs going by as if on a machine. I watched them all flatline, then sat in a nothingness, thinking... oh man... is this just the last vestiges of oxygenated blood in my brain or will this be eternity? Cuz if this was eternity, I'm happy to not be nothingness, but this is going to become a curse of unending madness by the end of the day.

This is an ironic post for me, considering that one of my next two rants is going to be about the agony of having people regale me with their dreams. The specific window dressing in those dreams isn't representative of what I'm afraid of... daikaiju, black cops, not being allowed to be a little girl... but the not wanting to die thing, sure.

The Jade wrote:

Tensor wrote:

yellowdingo wrote:

OK lets put you to the test. Lets cough to the wierdest Dream you have ever had...

Back in High School daze, I used to do calculus problems in my dreams.

Neat. It's amazing when the dreaming mind can prove that kind of focus.

Had a buddy of mine who had vivid dreams all the time. He woke up one morning after having a dream of getting up going to work and working a full shift, only to wake up and realize he was running late to actually go to work.

It was a fun day. :)

That must have been so utterly depressing.

yellowdingo wrote:

OK lets put you to the test. Lets cough to the wierdest Dream you have ever had...

Back in High School daze, I used to do calculus problems in my dreams.

Neat. It's amazing when the dreaming mind can prove that kind of focus.

SGG Genius Guides appear on the RPG Countdown so often, we should probably just share a red phone with them for easier interviewing.

You missed us. :) And vice versa.

The blank white of an empty reply post somehow... wrinkles in the light. Then a thin black tear forms and a wolf head pokes out, saying, "I was buried in here for years! Thanks for blowing the door off and freeing me."

Whew... good to have company, but uh... you guys really supposed to be here?

Nathan Blackmander wrote:

Vagrant Sow wrote:

Oink?

Quit hamming it up!

Your just jealous because I'm so sexy and Jade loves me...

Oh you know I do... you and your porcine hobo ways.

Aberzombie wrote:

I just saw a question that I would dearly love to answer, but doing so would violate a sacred vow.

Sacred vows are fun to violate. I've seen so much in Las Vegas over the last 40 years....,

I took a vagrant sow once. S'bout as close as I ever got.

Aberzombie wrote:

I just saw a question that I would dearly love to answer, but doing so would violate a sacred vow.

Sacred vows are fun to violate. I've seen so much in Las Vegas over the last 40 years....,

I took a vagrant sow once.

Steven was telling me about this a couple of days. It sounds incredible.

Saw this a few hours ago... sad.

RIP

The Jade wrote:

For inspiration, check out these guns.

Totally safe for work (despite an adult content warning on the blog)... really is just guns.

Second gun is what I have. I have 2 of them to be exact both have been reworked even after that one was still considered unusable. The safe one fired 8 shots then cooked off.

Your experience with all barrels blazing unexpectedly does sound traumatic. But at least they're beautiful to look at. I don't have any guns save a Red Ryder pellet gun (I'm the scourge or beverage cans everywhere), but I could see collecting these works of art in a display case.

For inspiration, check out these guns.

Totally safe for work (despite an adult content warning on the blog)... really is just guns.

I'm a pimp and a king. I goes where I like and I does what I please.

Are we allowed to reply to this thread or not? So much confusion.

Your confusion confuses him. Look in the mirror and know pasta. Binky.

See, that's what I was thinking too.

I'd love to stay in this thread and talk, but the OP is pee-sopped and it makes me sad.

It's ruining the fun for some people.

But... how did the blanket get wet is all I can think about.

Geistlinger is banned for not being female.

Freehold DM wrote:

Madclaw wrote:

Patrick Curtin wrote:

Darth Knight wrote:

Just read HD's FB page, seems he may in fact been locked up for 18 months. Making him get out a full year after he was expecting to.

That sucks. On the sucky side of thIngs I am at the hospital with my daughter. Not sure yet what is wrong. Just playing the waiting game. :(

Hope she's alright and things get better.

One big +1, Patrick!

+1 to that as well.

Add my plus to this stack.

Small rant...

** spoiler omitted **

People who vandalize often don't have much of a personal agenda against their specific canvas de guerre, although they often choose a general group of things that represent their quarry, like authority, tradition, or beauty. So the specifics of the garden aren't likely a factor in the miscreant's thinking and I'm sure the rest of the community appreciates what you folks have done. Keep on giving, and keep on planting seeds, my friend.

Gary Teter wrote:

I think it's pretty clear the theme music is only in my head. And it sounds like this.

Sounds nothing like my Theme music..

Right on right on.

I think it's pretty clear the theme music is only in my head. And it sounds like this.

I picture you using the Bugs Bunny version set at a faster tempo.

The Jade wrote:

Darth Knight wrote:

The Jade wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

holy crap, we can smell like our characters now!

This greatly pleases me. Very well done.

However as a fan of Neutral Good, what am I supposed to do, buy both Neutral and Good scents and spritz the same area of neck meat, hoping it doesn't turn into a 1st edition potion miscibility table explosive 00 result?

I hate when I blow my head off.

Yes!! Damn I missed those rules.

As a young teenager wanting to min/max, I can't tell you how many explosions I wasted trying to attain effect permanence.

I have recently repurchased some of the old rules. And since I have the collection of old Dragon magazines and well as some select Dungeons of that ear on PDF, I am noticing a lot of things I miss from the old games.

Yes a cross classed human fighter magic user could not wear armor and cast spells, but an Elven Fighter-Thief-Magic User sure could. Elves were the gishiest of Gishes.

Weren't they though? There's still a fairly vibrant 1st movement out there. Tim Kask and Frank Mentzer are still out there making it happen at cons. OLD SCHOOL!

Is this why he is missing so much hair?

Egg-shaped-zactly!

Paizo and Atomic Array have a Special Edition show coming up soon. I promise to connect Gary's theme music to the show notes so everyone can hear, and I will give permission for all to use it in anyway they see fit so long as it is in a manner that brings glory to Gary.

So Gary, what are you looking for? Darth Vader imperiousness? Something symphonically swelling that brings the tears a'welling? Back in Black type guitar? Whotchu want?

Well said, Sir Wulf.

The Jade wrote:

Contest winners... thank you for the thoughtful way in which you so thoroughly and creatively destroyed Ed Healy's face. I can't tell you what this means to m... oh, I told myself I wasn't going to cry.

I must have missed something.

You didn't hear Madgael's bit about the caustic applesauce? And then the guy who... well it was complex and horrible and funny. If Ed endured both of their trials he'd have less of a face than the headless horseman.

The Jade wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

holy crap, we can smell like our characters now!

This greatly pleases me. Very well done.

However as a fan of Neutral Good, what am I supposed to do, buy both Neutral and Good scents and spritz the same area of neck meat, hoping it doesn't turn into a 1st edition potion miscibility table explosive 00 result?

I hate when I blow my head off.

Yes!! Damn I missed those rules.

As a young teenager wanting to min/max, I can't tell you how many explosions I wasted trying to attain effect permanence.

Patrick Curtin wrote:

Darth Knight wrote:

Just read HD's FB page, seems he may in fact been locked up for 18 months. Making him get out a full year after he was expecting to.

That sucks. On the sucky side of things I am at the hospital with my daughter. Not sure yet what is wrong. Just playing the waiting game. :(

Sorry to hear that Patrick, I hope all goes well.

Not good. :\

OK, this issue has been resolved.

For that, you get your own theme music.

While it's true that a truly gifted GM can work with any inspiration to run a great game for players, even the trite joke off the side of a Dixie Cup, it is perhaps demeaning to suggest that if someone finds a problem with an adventure, the problem is their absence of genius acumen.

That's setting a standard that makes daring to find a criticism in these written works a revelation of skill frailty, and creates an obstruction to a conversation about each adventure's relative value to GMs.

Either some adventures are better and worse than others for each individual GM or all are equal, right? Thumbs up and down is in the wrist of the beholder.

For instance, I have a fleet of different guitars, and one of them is just kindling posing as an instrument. Someone gave it to me. But I know some great guitar players, and where a player of my skill level reveals the inherent hard-to-work-with-ness of the thing and its terribly flawed tone, they can somehow make it sound passable by employing extraordinary technique. So when I say "This guitar sucks" and they play it decently, no one, as of yet, has said, "The guitar's fine... you suck." ;)

Personally, I haven't read a dud adventure yet in Pathfinder. But that's just like... my opinion, man.

holy crap, we can smell like our characters now!

This greatly pleases me. Very well done.

However as a fan of Neutral Good, what am I supposed to do, buy both Neutral and Good scents and spritz the same area of neck meat, hoping it doesn't turn into a 1st edition potion miscibility table explosive 00 result?

I hate when I blow my head off.

Contest winners... thank you for the thoughtful way in which you so thoroughly and creatively destroyed Ed Healy's face. I can't tell you what this means to m... oh, I told myself I wasn't going to cry.

That was kinda sorta great. :)

I'm trying to get some work done but I can't get that song with your lyrics out of my head. AGH! You're CR just went up by 1.

The Jade wrote:

I could always hook you up with this one ghoul. She's a ghast ghast ghast.

Was she raised, by a toothless painted hag?

Was she schooled, with a strap across her back?

Is it....<drum roll>....Jumping Jackie Flash?

She was drowned.
Washed up, left for dead.
She survived,
On the contents of sailors heads.

But it's aaaaall riiiight now,
In fact she's a ghast.
It's aaaaall riiiight now.
She's Jumping Jackie Flash, she's a ghast, ghast, ghast.

You're one sharp gorgon! Speaking of which, feel free to browse my wares. You may be interested in our latest recruit, a vampire sow named Bloody Bessie. Those midwest dames have a charm all their own, and Bessie can do things with her ice cold hooves that would make Pan himself blush.

Ah, heck. I actually forgot that I switched from the close-up of the owl with the quill to this one. Neither, sadly, have a little green cap.

No matter. Even without a cap, in the city or in the woods, you help keep forum boards... lookin' good. Hoot hoot!

I bet it's this one.

Good find... but I think his was more of a close-up. Hoo knew they were so many owlvatars available?

OH...the pain!

I like the sound of this Trey fella.

He's one good (owl) egg. The man would make a wise omelette.

Edit: This only makes sense if you recall his avatar.

Groan...

BTW, Iron GM up yet on iTunes???

Our site was taking a long time to sort out until Trey from the Paizo boards came to the rescue. Barring complications, we could have a real site up next week, and then the episodes will have a home and they'll appear on Itunes. The third episode of the Iron GM Podcast is ready to go, we're just timing its release for the new site launch.

As for that groan... sounds like you came down with a case of the lich itch. Penicillin from a holy font, injected shot directly into the source of the infection twice daily. Yeah... not pleasant. Sorry. But hey, not all my garden variety dirt caked hoes are diseased. I could always hook you up with this one ghoul. She's a ghast ghast ghast.

I hear that Pimp In Orange guy can kick the King In Yellow's ass with a properly placed pimp slap by his cane.

Cthu-Lou is indeed the Pimp In Orange, and the Old Ones best reckanize or get gorilla slapped across dey cephalopodenesses.

I used to run an undead escort service. Most pimps in my field were chasing fresh zombies around the cemetery, tryin' to charm 'em into their stables. But I always knew the real money was in peddlin' that higher CR necro-tail.

Thus my fiery warning... lich betta have my money!

I hate when we fight.

And for #54 it seems they've gone for a project started by some one-pathfinder module guy. Good to see you support upcoming talent guys. ;)

Internet-argument avoidance-spoiler:
** spoiler omitted **

[righteous fist shaking]

Monte isn't even on this show. Whaddya think about that, Kajehase?! So much for your big theory about how we're RPG starf@#$ers, huh?!
[/righteous fist shaking]

But actually... Monte will be on AA 55, along with other first timers like Ed Greenwood, Steve Schend, Brian Cortijo, Chris West and Louis Agresta.

Episode 54 of Atomic Array keeps the Dungeon A Day!]

“The staff of Super Genius Games are working on updating the dungeon to give you what you need to use everything on the site with Pathfinder, and many other Pathfinder fans offer advice and conversions as well.” – Dungeon A Day website (ENnie nominated for best website, that is)

Looking for new material for your game, but you’re more interested in bite-sized morsels of campaign goodness than in large tomes that take days or weeks to consume? Looking to capture the feel of products like Ruins of Undermountain, Castle Whiterock and/or Return to the Temple of Elemental Evil in your campaign? Look no further than this interview with Owen KC Stephens and Stan! from Dungeon A Day, the subscription site that presents a new encounter every single weekday that you can run together, or tear out and put in your own world.

Now a two-year-old project, with over 750 encounters available for use, Dungeon A Day is currently on level 17 of 20 in the first mega-dungeon - “Dragon’s Delve.” In addition to Stan! and Owen, we were also honored to speak to level 17’s designer, the astoundingly talented Charles M. Ryan.

Dungeon A Day: http://www.dungeonaday.com/
Super Genius Games: http://www.supergeniusgames.com/

Ed’s Pick: The Flight of Dragons
Rone’s Rant: “The Down Side of Being Tall”

The Jade wrote:

Crimson Jester wrote:

maybe we should cover the Jade in stripper glitter just to see the effect??

I approve of this experiment.

Only if The Jade does a strip tease with the stripper glitter though... 8)

Why the last time I pole danced, the Polish Traditional Dance Academy flunked me. I can’t… I can’t go through that again.

OOOOO....I like Madra Mire...very cool

Thanks. :)

Something about Iarwaeth put me in a Gaelic frame of mind.

Madra Mire, Irish Gaelic for mad dog and it sounds like a famous sword of old.

I should SUE! This is what the test said to me… I can’t believe this!

You sick son of a b@!*+. Your power comes from your willingness to take insipid tests where you object interpret things in the shapes of Pac Man and titties. You have a tendency to lure people off the internet into your bedroom where you force them to watch videos of you slapping a poster of Hasselhoff with your finger-painted dong. You’re about as sane as a flaming brick of s@$! thrown into the face of a weeping god. And because of your need to be liked, you sit gussied up corpses around you at a tea table each night and say, “This meeting shall come to order! Respect the Pubah!” in order to feel relaxed enough to fall asleep atop your stitched together bed of kidnapped, horrified “mattress slaves.” By all rights, your twisted life should end. That you’re even able to take this test means that police detectives, opportunistic infections and stray bullets have failed their greatest opportunity. Thanks for being born, a#!&@@$.

I got your theme song. It's punchy.

Nice!

There's a guy in comments who sees this band as somehow being symbolic of the decline and fall of western civ... the band's reply is perfection.