The Jade's page

Leave the broom at home
We're shopping vacuum cleaners!
Happy Valentines!

A guy who follows our company on Twitter listened to the Bulmahn interview and Tweeted that it changed his attitude about Pathfinder.

You are welcome for the good work we do here on the Iron GM Podcast.

"Give us your tired, your poor... Your huddled masses yearning to learn more about Paizo..."

Yeah, that was kind of...yeah...

I knew I wanted to say that line about the minuets but then the sound fx were a last minute addition. I might just edit that out and upload a new version to iTunes so long as it doesn't screw things up.

This was our first ever episode to feature equine bloat. I'll just apologize for that here and now, I guess.

Now if that isn't an ideal segue assist, I don't know what is...

In episode 60 of Atomic Array, we #occupypodcast and don’t leave until the police decide to shoo us after about an hour and a half. But for ninety minutes we really made a statement about Lamentations of the Flame Princess with author James Edward Raggi IV. If Osric or Labyrinth Lord intrigues you, but you have yet to take the OSR plunge, James beckons you to follow him into his provocative game that puts the R-rating in RPG, and its new face... the Grindhouse Edition.

Lamentations of the Flame Princess: http://www.lotfp.com/

Ed’s Pick: The Complete Poems of Stephen Crane
Rone’s Rant: “Restaurant Rudeness”

Sponsors:
* d20Pro
* Hero Lab

I'm glad I didn't
Tape badgers to my body
Then jump in the pool

is your only choice
In this life to pen haikus?
Why not try knock-knocks?

Deep into phone poles
I lodge my trusty black ax
Cell phones forever!

We're registering lots of downloads and site listens thus far. Thanks all!

Ha!

Post no bills? As if
I could stop nailing Williams
Deep into phone poles

Many thanks for the listens and for all of the feedback, folks. Keep it coming.

Dale, the episode can be downloaded from iTunes for now.

I found a download option (that doesn't seem to work just yet... good looking out) on the Iron GM site by going to the podcastery page, then to the top box featuring episode 5, and then to "download" written in a tiny font. But when I hit it I just go to a white page. Lou programmed the site so I'll pass this on. Thanks!

Thanks, taig!

The show was just submitted to iTunes, and the upload still seems to be processing. But for now, everyone can find the episode at our website.

Jason and I enjoyed an informative chat on the fifth episode of the Iron GM podcast.

Find it here: LINK

You can also subscribe to us on iTunes.

Although our show pushes our Iron GM tournament, a nationally touring show that tests GMing skill and rewards our winners with big prizes, the occasional wad o’ cash, and free trips to Gen Con, we always have a GM luminary grace us with their perspective on game mastery.

Past guests: Chris Perkins, Monte Cook, Bruce Cordell, Pete Adkison, and now… the titan of smitin’... the king of +5 bling... the viscount of body count… Jaaaaaaa-son Bulllllll-mahn!

We just switched over to a new site template so a couple of links are temporarily missing, but you can still access almost everything. Please, check out the latest show and give us your impressions.

KMF DM
Kills Mo Fool players than most
He runs a tough game

"O-oh did you say SLAY?"
First line from the Hobgoblin's
National anthem

BTW, Paizo's own Liz Courts penned this campaign's final adventure.

There's less fowl cracklings
When the phoenix rests ashen
Otherwise... FLAME ON!

Now it wants my feet?!
My stupid personals ad:
Calling All Ghouls

I edited Mario's main game, Venture, and this, his expansion.

The rules are substantial for a board game, yet easy to grasp. I'd say it takes you about a half-hour of play to become proficient. Despite the ease of play, I've seen strategists far greater than me treat this game like chess.

"Man... I'll just play over here with the thirteen year olds."

My two adventures with Lou Agresta will be repackaged, giving me a free new credit for my RPG writing resume. If only everything were this easy.

I look forward to seeing the many adventures altogether in one work.

Full contact Bingo!
"B9? No, mutha! B-smacked!"
Blood drenches the church

Your teeth crack and break
Your skin pulls Skeletor tight
Meth: hell of a drug

Im telling you, from a distance, you look a lot like the bass player from Testament, Greg Christian. But he knew your name, so that throws that theory out the window. Hm. Maybe that guy was psychic...or you just looked like you knew what the volume levels should be in a club? He probably saw you fiddling with knobs on the soundboard.

But I never touched the soundboard is the thing. It was just... odd.

Well I looked up Greg Christian and I don't see a resemblance, but one is always fascinated to find one's dopplewhosit so it was a fun image search. A drummer stopped jogging once to tell me I looked like a shorter -not nine foot tall- Pete Steele, but I don't have a barrel shaped super skull. And there was even a time when people were thinking I looked like Nuno Bettencourt because of my long straight hair. But I look more like Aretha Franklin on fire than I do that guy.

When I first saw you walk into a game room back in 2007, I sincerely thought, "Who's that pimpin' rock star?"

Right now I swear I'm listening to a friend working outside my house listening to Pandora on his phone while he sings Air Supply in falsetto. He mostly plays with signed metal and hip hop acts... so this is hilarious.

This!

The Jade wrote:

The construction thing nails it. I recall George Lynch may have worked as a house painter for a time after Dokken's/Lynch Mob's success faded.

I've watched waaaaay too many "VH1 Behind the Music"s and read too many musician's biographies. I love that kind of stuff.

Poor George. That dude was ripped. I bet he could paint an entire house in an afternoon if he put his mind to it.

I remember someone interviewing Tom the lead singer from Cinderella after their long cold fall from the top of the hair metal heap. He was showing the interviewer a mid-priced telescope and telling how that was his whole life then.

Its kind of sobering to see what people do 'after'...

Have you seen either of the "The Decline of Civilization" movies? The interviews with all those young people thinking if they could just get on MTV, they would have it made.

I sure did see those films. Forgive my urge to share some odd personal stories about some of this. You brought back some memories.

I used to date an artist/singer/musician girl named Patti who'd eventually go on to get signed at EMI. Patti's cousin, Angela Adams I think was her name, was one of four LA models paid to sit around Paul Stanley in those Paul Surrounded By Babes shots in Decline of Western Civilization: The Metal Years. Don't know why they bothered with such fakery. Anyway, Angela was in a long term relationship with an actor on TV at the time, Sean Six (I think), who played the turtleheaded son on the Alien Nation TV series. Though bright as a whip, Patti had a insecurity problem whereby she always wanted people to think she knew what they were talking about. So when her cousin tells her over lunch that she's with Sean Six, who's on TV, Patti explodes with enthusiasm, "Oh yeah! He's cute."

Silence.

"You've... seen him without the make-up?"

BUSTED.

That Tom and his telescope scene sounds sad. A band I was in opened for Cinderella once and Tom stopped me in the hallway after the show while I was just trying to get by without bugging the guy, "Great show, Rone." Hearing him use my name so casually stunned me because considering how many bands were onstage that night and the fact we were never introduced, it came across like he was psychic.

It happened a second time. Some little know signed act had this pop metal hit with a song that went, "I'm not... part of... the rat race... I'm not... part of... the real world." I walked into the club during the middle of the show and the singer kept talking to me from the stage during songs... asking me how the sound was coming across out in the audience as if I was in his crew. I gave thumbs up and nods of approval to his questions. What else was I going to do? After the show I saw him talking to a young lady outside and I paid him a polite compliment. He replied, "That's a huge compliment coming from you, Rone."

Silence.

What?

Either I was a part of a conspiratorial hoax hosted by Kerrang magazine that month called "Let's blow this longhaired schmuck's mind" or I looked like some other Rone people actually knew.

Or... there's always the possibility I just had terrible hearing.

The Jade wrote:

Torquemademan - Fake Song

Each in a different genre... here we go.

Torquemademan toured the Pacific NW and was based just outside Portland Oregon. Although they had the low-slung and de-tuned guitar noise (and half of the four-piece were hooked on heroin), they unfortunately broke in late 1990 before it was 'cool' to be grunge. Ben Stiller had them play on the outro to his self-titled show. They still tour local clubs when they aren't working construction.

I've never seen this talent of yours for faux band bios before, but it is a talent.

The construction thing nails it. I recall George Lynch may have worked as a house painter for a time after Dokken's/Lynch Mob's success faded.

the Jade wrote:

Juggahurgle - Oh Now You're Just Making This $#@% Up!

Each in a different genre... here we go.

Juggahurgle is a very early 'supergroup'. Joan Baez, Bob Dylan, a young Robby Krieger, and the ghost of Arthur Rimbaud on drums. It all came together on the eve of Christmas Eve in a tiny converted warehouse on Bleecker Street in 1962. Only a single recording of the quartet exists today in a vault in Paris, France. An ivory-colored 7 inch 45 floated around on the bootleg market for years, but those in the know say it is obviously a fraud.

Vivid, my friend... how compelling an idea, start to finish... this ivory colored 45 alleged counterfeit and all.

My first character was a dwarf. If he became Snow White's eighth dwarf, he'd have been named Slaughtery.

Hulk's not! Hulk's not green!
He's more... combat emerald
Get up close and see

Sneezing makes me mean
You wouldn't like me angry
HULK SNOT! HULK SNOT GREEN!

The Jade wrote:

The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:

The Jade wrote:

Finnin Skimbrees - March Sucks

The Calico Scats - Lootin' the Groove Box
Banner of Rust - Cave-in Slaving
Torquemademan - Fake Song
Grampy's Got Wood - Not Believing This List
Juggahurgle - Oh Now You're Just Making This $#@% Up!

I could see you actually writing all of these songs...

Each in a different genre... here we go.

OK. Calico Scats are a side project of Bootsie Collins (with or without the Gap Band helping out). Came out in 1980 in Germany and Japan on a small label. Released in Australia and Austria in 82, and only recently uncovered in the US and UK. Bootsie doesnt even remember the recording sessions.

Did not know that. Good find! Now if they actually recorded a track called Lootin' the Groove Box I'll know I've gone deep bananas and that none of you are real.

Which is funny, because that's what I'm listening to right now.

Deep Bananas - None of You are Real

The Jade wrote:

Finnin Skimbrees - March Sucks

The Calico Scats - Lootin' the Groove Box
Banner of Rust - Cave-in Slaving
Torquemademan - Fake Song
Grampy's Got Wood - Not Believing This List
Juggahurgle - Oh Now You're Just Making This $#@% Up!

I could see you actually writing all of these songs...

Each in a different genre... here we go.

"Now he's porcupine!"
Said Evil Russian Genius
"Gene splicing is fun!"

Finnin Skimbrees - March Sucks
The Calico Scats - Lootin' the Groove Box
Banner of Rust - Cave-in Slaving
Torquemademan - Fake Song
Grampy's Got Wood - Not Believing This List
Juggahurgle - Oh Now You're Just Making This $#@% Up!

At NYC clubs in the early 90's, such as the Limelight, there was a well muscled dude who wore no shirt, but did wear a custom made leather saddle, and he'd ride girls around on his back. Craziest thing. You walk into the club and this dude is galloping around with a bit in his mouth and some giggling video model atop him.

His game may have been a strange one, but the man definitely had game.

One fast stone-slinger
Versus an Old Test giant
Dog said, "Aw, Davey..."

Bigger ships had passed
But none were more majestic
Than blingy dingy

Salt did drown in beer
Sailor forgot hurtful words
About his wee boat

I win yet again. :P

Oh did someone actually tell us to be mature? Wow he must not come to this game often. Anyways I win.

Children, children please... don't make me call your parents. The last post is locked in my desk where it will stay until I choose to give it back, if I choose to give it back. Until then, class silence!

Look, we're all being a bit ridiculous here. Clearly this honor was left behind by somebody, and before we fight over it like it's ours we need to put it in lost and found... so I'll just take the last post and place it here in this safe. Okay? Good. No more posts. Thank you for your maturity.

Peter had enough ear
To hear jeers from distant piers
Salt did drown in beer

Thank you for letting me be the winner again.

You held my place! You are a dear.

Half dragon octopus.

I saw sexy videotape from the night of that thing's conception... YUCHHH, man. YUCHHH! Some things you just can't ever unsee.

Short, but good episode.

Thanks, Mairky Mairk! Okay, I'll never say that again. Sorry.

Ed's long pick was actually last about as long as my short rant. That's never happened before.

My kids game now, but, wow, I really wish I had some of these games when they were younger.

I got them hooked with Pokémon Emergency!

I tried to look it up but the site was participating in the SOPA blackout.

A spot of light to illumine the dark labyrinths of politics for the masses? I'm for.

Worth adding: One thing we've heard about the latest episode... it's a game people are really looking forward to playing with their kids.

As long as it is USD I am good.

$2011, US dollars, baby.

ohhhhh ahhhhhh.

Right? Duz we know how to take care of gamers or what?

Dollah dollah billz, y'all. <-- whatever the hell that means.

Humor is allowed to go as far as a particular audience will allow. It can of course go further, but tomatoes hurled at one's face really start to ache after the first 20.