|The Elusive Trout|
Your last moments of mortal life, as far as you can tell, were hellish and specifically tailored to your circumstances. Indeed, they were a tale only you could tell (and probably should, in spoiler form), but nothing in those last, screaming seconds could prepare you for the overbearing silence that now greets your ears.
There isn't even a whisper when you open your eyes again, and though you are free from pain, you lie on something stiff, uncomfortable, and cold. Whatever you were expecting next, it wasn't this.
Opening your eyes, there is an overwhelming mass of gray and dull brown. You are staring into the rafters of a dusty chapel, and while there are broken windows that should allow natural light in, there is only the dusty white of an overcast sky... and possibly snow...?