|The Eldritch Mr. Shiny|
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A punk rock fable. Also a true story:
Once upon a time, in the far-off land of 2009, a band called The Andrea Doria was on tour, driving down the highway outside of Savannah, Georgia. Suddenly, the van lurched to a halt on the roadside, black smoke billowing from under the hood. The bass player, who was also a mechanic, deduced that a magician had made all of the engine oil disappear. The guitar player began dialing the venue to tell them that they were not going to make the gig. The singer attempted to flag down a car who could take them to a towing service. The drummer, who was the youngest of the bunch, began to panic. "What are we going to do? We're stranded a thousand miles from home, and our van is on fire," cried the drummer, "what are we going to do?" Shutting the hood of the van, the bass player turned to the drummer, laying a hand on the young man's shoulder. "Nothing," said the bass player. "We live here now."