Given that I gather that in your world's Hanna-Barbera cartoons they always spring back up even if you drop an anvil or grand-piano on their heads, it seems to me unlikely.
I feel the information released on Razmiran thus far could have benefitted from a more even-handed approach!
More likely it could have benefited from better punctuation and accurate Campaign Setting map depiction of the national boundaries which do not misrepresent the control of the gladiator college city of Tymon...
Oh I don't hate them, They are nice and shiny and fit in my many pockets. I mean what are they going to do to me I already have their runes.
La La La La LA
<pops back from Thassilonian studies just in time to see the red jester blow one of his contingent resurrection spells as half a dozen maximised runes of wrath detonate in the jester's pocket>
<shakes head>
Next time you might want to ask for work from us instead of picking the pockets of Runelords who know you're coming. For example, I have here a large sack of electrum coins which will be untrapped if your guild abducts 'Triumph the insult comic dragon' from the 4E threads, and drag him to your guild house. Oh, and we Runelords now have a sizeable helping of your blood with which to drive you insane if we have to; we're into ancient magic, after all, which includes old edition clone spells- not the nice ones where it's just a case of 'grow yourself a spare body...', but 'split the soul and cause madness from multiple personalities on the same plane'.
Spoiler:
...and I prepared explosive smurfs this morning...
Edit:
I will have foreseen it if you fail to abduct the dragon within 24 hours of this post, and the sack of coins in that case will turn out to have been entirely illusory.
Excellent. Just as I divined, you have come to assert control of this thread. I shall return to revising the Grand Subjugation License....
<politely bows out>
But I do appreciate being given a reason to hate you anyway.
It is well known that you are not afraid of anything, but is it not a matter of concern for you that you demean yourself by publicly asserting your interest in the Runelord of Wrath's territory?
He is the architect, the watchmaker; it is his breath which breaths life into us all.
Plus, he rocks and is totally cool!
A little late...
Late for what? Work?
The PostMonster General already works for us, although he is indeed, very capable.
You are a false prophet. PostMonster will cast you into the pit of dispair.
You assert that the PostMonster General is not indeed capable? In that case, I rather suspect that it is you who need worry about being cast into any pits of despair.
Besides which, I think you forget that I holiday in the pits of despair, in my official capacity.
Yes, well. I would not diminish myself to speak for the others, but I always approve of more servants. Now if you'll excuse me, and even if you won't, I must determine how best to get even with you for hurting me.
That was an elf, I think you'll find, dread Pride. And the elf in question expired nine thousand eight hundred and seventy six years ago... no, I apologise. Nine thousand eight hundred and seventy five. I omitted the year which nobody talks about.
Sebastian is only a pawn of the Runelord of Social Injustice. That's right. The great and terrible Sebastian works for a flunkey whom we [The Runelords] allow to hang around in our cool Thassilonian secret lair. (It wouldn't be so cool if Wizards of the Coast hadn't recently sneaked in an agent, disguised as a milkman, and 'borrowed' our red dragon heating engineer for some purpose of their own, whilst we were out putting the drow in their places; our lair is usually quite warm.)
However we shall permit your cults to continue in operation for as long as they entertain us.
Now if you'll excuse me, but I have some work to do on the revision of The Grand Subjugation License....
Ah yes, I remember how this thread ends up.
Beware the ides of April, and an arcanaton with a twisted sense of humour and absent one kobold to smurf upon.
I suppose that you could mark him down for 'Sloth' points, since he may be being too idle to make his mind up what to do, or 'Pride' points if you consider that he is taking the attitude 'I'm so mighty it doesn't matter how I crush you'.
My colleagues Lust, Envy, Gluttony, Greed, and Wrath, at least at face value, appear to have little or no claim on the fellow's allegiance.
<considers quoting something epic from Virigl about mighty warriors contesting, but decides that the Runelord of Sloth occasionally has a point and summons a smurf minion to defend Kobold Cleaver from the Flying Dire Lemmings instead....>
Hmm. This thread amuses me, not least because rule by council of Runelords is the ultimate form of government. Read The Republic by Plato (and pay attention to how he puts democracy in its place, too). My colleagues who embody seven ideals of ancient Thassilon, are each confident that their philosophies make for ideal rulership qualities.
I think you will fnd that Paizo were already under our [Runelord] control.
Work is proceeding (when the Runelord of Sloth can be bothered to input his thoughts) on a Grand Subjugation License, which will set down the conditions under which Pazo will be permitted to conquer the gaming world for us.
Beware of provoking us. We have mighty sorceries and *special* cookies baked by the Runelord of Lust on our side.
Edit:
Sebastian is relatively well known to the Runelord of Social Injustice, so if you wish to use him to convey your committee's wishes to Paizo, we may well allow it.
Hmmm. Round about now is where either the smurf legions or the great big arcanton come smurshing in, given some of the personal attacks flying around here.
But just ignore me.
I'm the Runelord of Divination, after all, and what do I know....
Edit:
Gah! Smurfette. If only I had foreseen that.
Sections 5 & 6 are proving tricky, but I thought I'd put section 7 out for debate:
Spoiler:
7. Expected behaviour Standards. Runelord minions are expected to observe certain standard of behaviour, showing commitment to the Runelords, and ensuring that nobody thinks that they (or the Runelords whom they represent) are ‘soft’. Minions are expected to occasionally exhibit traits along the following guidelines:
(a) to host public executions (with optional humiliation) of criminals.
(b) to invite the Runelord of Lust to host ‘special entertainments’ in their demesnes.
(c) to discriminate in the award of important positions, where possible, by selecting Shoanti equivalent racial stock to fill those places. The ancestors of the Shoanti served the Runelords well in Thassilon; it only makes sense to reward that loyal service by offering their descendents and kin first options on any cushy jobs.
What??? You can't go to GenCon yet.... we haven't issued you with your Grand Subjugation License* yet. I understand that the tradition with these things is to take as long as possible getting them issued.
ok, im kinda new to the boards, what exactly IS the charter tag? is it like an "o.g." subscriber type thing?
Yeah. It is reserved for those subscribers who committed to Pathfinder before issue 1 shipped. For taking a leap of faith on it, sight unseen, the kind folks at Paizo have rewarded those subscribers with an extra word in their title to make them feel superior to all others with lesser tags and cause all types of jealousy and accusations of elitism.
** spoiler omitted **
man, now i feel even worse i was "indisposed" when they started pathfinder... ;)
~evil cackle~ Yes! We are the superior race! ~coughs~ Errr..... Darn frog in my throat! ~pats you on the shoulder~ It is ok. You are just as good as the rest of us Charter members.
(edited for clarity)
Ohhh, Sharoth. If my calculations are about correct, a meteor which I had the foresight to just nudge off course last week for precisely this incident should be about to.... WHOOOOMPH!!!
<dusts off hands, and observes the smoking smear (at the bottom of a crater) of what might once have been a dragon>
Well that was a flaming in a matter of speaking; too bad it was only one of Sharoth's many clones/simulacra, but that certainly relieved my immediate sense of irritation.
I hate to be the spoil-sport, but we are getting rather off track here.
It has been some times since any mention of plotting, and I am getting concerned.
Do I have to do everything myself?!
First King! You appear to have possessed the body of a, uh, underling??
I did submit a progress update on the rewrite of a GSL, for Runelord use, on the previous page.
No that was just the person who carries around my severed head. I did learn a FEW helpful things from Sloth after all.
He still must face his punishment for speaking to us in such an uncivilized manner, carrying your head has appeared to make him lax in his manners.
<Savagely punishes the Runelord of VHS' minion for a similar infraction, tormenting him with visions of lottery ticket numbers for a draw which he has *just* been too late to enter>
I have been studying a work that is one of the 'GSLs' I mentioned a couple of my posts earlier on this thread (issued by an organisation which, even though it seems to lack the meanest prestidigitation ability amongst those who make up its membership, styles itself 'The Wizards of the Coast'). Whilst it is sensible in having 21 sections to it (seven and multiples therof NOT derived from 6 being particularly lucky, as students of Draconic Numerology will appreciate) the rest seems to be lacking in any kind of effectiveness. I post below the first draft of my rewrite of some of the earlier parts of this License, to reassure my fellow Runelords that I am giving this matter my attention:
Spoiler:
Last Updated: July 28th, 2009 (earth years)
Runelords’ proclamation:
Grand Subjugation License
This Grand Subjugation License Agreement (the “License”) is offered by the Runelords of Golarion, the true rulers of the realm soon to be known as ‘Greater Thassilon’. The License is offered to Paizo and to any other organisation which wish to act as the runelords’ minions and proxies in conquering and ruling the third planet from the sun/star known as ‘Sol’ instead of being crushed by the Runelords and condemned to the same miserable treatment as the rest of the world can expect if they wish the Runelords to assume direct rule of the planet. Any signatory to the license who breeches one or more of its terms (even inadvertently) will be automatically named a ‘traitor’.
1. Effective Date.
The License commences as soon as receipt is acknowledged by any new minions. At that point in time, any new minions of the Runelords become lieges of the Runelords, entitled to have (non-frivolous) complaints heard by those immediately above them in the hierarchy of minions, and not to be attacked with extreme prejudice by other servants & minions of the Runelords. The Runelords may revise the license at any time, or revoke the license to ‘fire’ a treacherous minion.
2. Updates or Revisions to License.
The Runelord of Greed, in association with certain technically minded individuals from the geographical otherworldly region known as ‘Leng’ has access to an experimental time travel device. The Runelords reserve the right to go back in time and retroactively adjust the license to close any unforeseen loopholes which they feel to be unhelpful, or to completely rewrite the license at whim. Minions are expected to check the license every midnight (Golarion Mean Time) to ensure that they are still acting appropriately in accordance with their copy of the license.
3. Licensed Actions.
The license granted in Section 4 is for use solely in connection with the subjugation by minions of nations of the third planet in the solar system of the star/sun known as ‘Sol’. Minions are licensed to carry out any actions that are not otherwise listed as excluded in Section 5.5 (“Licensed Actions”).
4. License Grant. Subject to minions complying with all terms and conditions of this License the Runelords grant minions the non transferable right to style themselves ‘rulers’, to delegate tasks to underlings of their own, to fund their own private armies for the purpose of conquering the world, to use the titles ‘King’, ‘Queen’, ‘Duke’, ‘Duchess’, or ‘Warlord’ for themselves, and the titles ‘Prince’, ‘Princess’, ‘Count’, or ‘Countess’ for their natural heirs with the guarantee that this might not be automatically treated as a sign of open revolt or rebellion, and to raise taxes, create & enforce laws, imprison, and execute subjugated peoples within such territories as they conquer.
11. Termination and Effect.
The runelords are not so foolish as to imagine that this license will last forever (besides which, hasn’t it already been stated we reserve the right to go back in time and rewrite parts of it?); However anyone operating under this license has publicly declared their loyalty to the runelords, and so reneging on it (besides being ‘bad form’) is an act of betrayal of such magnitude that those attempting such an action shouldn’t be surprised to find a mob of unruly goblins in their pantry one morning, in advance of an army of sin-spawn, giants, and dragons generally intent upon beating to a pulp that traitor.
Please consult with James Jacobs (Paizo chief editor, shortly to be one of our minions), who has been working on biographies of the seven 'classic' Runelords & their associated foci in arcane studies for his 'Rise of the Runelords' chronicles.
Naturally, because of my mastery of reverse divination techniques, I have managed to be deliberately overlooked by most historians.
a lack of decent respect to the opinions of mankind
extended to include a lack of decent respect for the opinions of aberrations as well? You want to be ignored and undervalued?
Well I'm fairy certain that my fellow Runelords will be happy to address that concern, and to show a lack of decent respect for aberrations, as well, if you're certain that that's what you want....
I thought aberrations disrespected each-other already? Don't they have some sort of "I am the pinnacle of my kind" ego-trip going for them?
So all we have to do is set them against each-other!
Actually, first king , you may be thinking of beholders; I suspect that the Runelord of Pride may be able to advise us on that subject. I heard that he went through a phase when he had nothing but beholder servants, so that he could be 'attended by beings best equipped to appreciate his magnificence'.
By the way: I am contemplating that we may need some sort of Grand Subjugation License (GSL) as I hear that everyone these days needs them to license what their minions (or flunkies in the case of proletariat rabbles who do not want proper minions with panache) can or cannot do whilst conquoring the world on their behalf. Unless the runelord of social injustice wants to make himself useful by coming up with a draft suitable for Paizo to operate under, I may toy around with upgrading one of the other such licenses I hear to be out there. (Although considerable alterations will be necessary; apparently other organisations don't want their minions to have the ability to innovate and take the initiative in crushing the opposition for them.)
Quick question, how many "Runelords" are there now?
I'm counting 10, but maybe I missed some.
One of them apparently specialises in 'social injustice', and another one in 'VHS', although I'm not sure what schools of magic those are associated with? Maybe one of them's a psionicist?
So far, yes, you seem to have acquired a couple of extra Runelords from somewhere. (It's not my fault that my mastery of Divination skills were so great that I managed to obfuscate myself out of Thassilonian history... Wait a moment, actually that was my 'fault', come to think of it.)
Can we at least agree that someone needs to send a message to the Paizo staff informing them that we are their new masters- their immediate and terrible (if they disobey us) future- and that they should count themeselves lucky for not being taxed for the privilige of writing about us?
I know that some of you will have difficulties rousing yourselves to agree (or otherwise) so I would think that a majority verdict from amongst the classic seven of you would suffice.
It's okay, I've allready sent them a video diary of this thread. why do you think they started fighting back?
It's just that the agenda ideally sees this sorted out before some sort of gathering to be called 'Gen Con', so that rather than having to directly handle global domination personally, we can delegate this to our (new) Paizo minions. I hope that this approach particularly commends itself to my fellow Runelord of Sloth, and that the others can see something of use in it, too.
Can we at least agree that someone needs to send a message to the Paizo staff informing them that we are their new masters- their immediate and terrible (if they disobey us) future- and that they should count themeselves lucky for not being taxed for the privilige of writing about us?
I know that some of you will have difficulties rousing yourselves to agree (or otherwise) so I would think that a majority verdict from amongst the classic seven of you would suffice.
::telepathically:: Hmm. Can we get a cut? Our past differences aside, we wouldn't want to pass up a business opportunity. Besides, you guys owe us one for that whole "rune magic" thing.
Also, we take offense at the use of the term "Mankind."
You mean the aboleths want:
Runelord of Greed wrote:
a lack of decent respect to the opinions of mankind
extended to include a lack of decent respect for the opinions of aberrations as well? You want to be ignored and undervalued?
Well I'm fairy certain that my fellow Runelords will be happy to address that concern, and to show a lack of decent respect for aberrations, as well, if you're certain that that's what you want....
Fellow runelords:
Can we at least agree that someone needs to send a message to the Paizo staff informing them that we are their new masters- their immediate and terrible (if they disobey us) future- and that they should count themeselves lucky for not being taxed for the privilige of writing about us?
I know that some of you will have difficulties rousing yourselves to agree (or otherwise) so I would think that a majority verdict from amongst the classic seven of you would suffice.
CR 30+ Runelord vs an everyday aboleth named Joe. Oooh. Interesting mismatch.
Joe could be an Paragon Gargantuan Advanced Aboleth Wiz10 (CR 34).
Go, Joe!
Hmmm. That doesn't sound very 'everyday' to me. And if you're plotting against your own subordinates, it's no wonder that you were assassinated in self defence by.... Oooh. Very clever. You nearly tricked me there. Hah! Well I shall invoke my perogative and refuse to tell you who stuck the knives in. In fact it might only have been knives metaphorically speaking.
Oh, and I shall continue to refuse to pour this jug of water all over those sheets of paper that my fellow Runelord's minion isn't currently attacking you with. I don't care if you threaten to hold your breath until you start to swell up and change colour, because you don't have any breath to hold.
So there!
::telepathically:: Don't think we don't know what you're trying to do. Didn't the last several people you "hugged" end up in your well?
Well...yes...But they did honestly enjoy themselves. :)
Joe the Aboleth wrote:
Remember, hugging counts as a grapple, and we have extra appendages.
So do I. ;)
<Rummages> Somewhere around here I have stashed a stone bust of an Olman deity from another world, for the eventuality of dealing with any uppity aboleths. Unlike some, I haven't spent all my time snoozing for the past few thousand years, but bagging useful items.
<checks, but since Runelord of Lust currently seems to be having much the better of the encounter, holds off on deploying the civilisation destroying weapon for now >
CR 30+ Runelord vs an everyday aboleth named Joe. Oooh. Interesting mismatch.
Hey, I may be the Runelord of Greed, but I tell people when I take their stuff.
By the way, do you suppose that we should pour water on those sheet of paper that Sloth's minion currently seems to be inflicting paper-cuts on the First King with, or do we watch for a while longer? Personally I'm for watching.
There was a Canadian movie about this...Nothing starring David Hewlitt (Rodney McKay) of Stargate: Atlantis. Hey, Runelord of VHS, any copies of it lying around?
5
.
.
.
See eventually even kings need to come to me, truly VHS is the TRUE POWER I pity all of you with your measly sins.
You seem to have annoyed or tantalised one of the other Runelords so much that they have cancelled or stolen your runelord guise.
I don't need divinations to tell you who the most likely candidates for that were.
(Edit)
I'm not sure I need to point out the dangers of standing around exposed in a room with some of my fellow runelords in either. <winces> Owww. That is going to hurt.
See, this proves you are not the real Runelord of Sloth. If you were, you wouldn't be doing so much talking.
And don't tell me that you are dictating, that takes work too. Unless, of course, you have a permanent telepathic effect with your scribes.
Your underestimation of my abilities is laughable. Roguerouge, dispatch him immediately.
Oh no, please don't kill me AGAIN. How much diamond dust is there in the world?
A mouse fighting a severed head? This should be interesting.
I foresee that I am going to have difficulty getting any bookmaker to take a bet from me on the result of this fight. This is one of the reasons why I haven't revealed myself for so long (information as to the true names of several female other-planar beings might be another). The second a bookmaker hears that you're the a specialist in divination, they don't want to take bets from you for some reason. The same seems to go for casino owners*. If I didn't know the answer already, I'd be asking how irrational anyone involved in the gambling industry could get?
* That reminds me, Runelord of Greed. Nice gambling operation you had going on that barge near Turtleback Ferry. I was passing through the area the other day and happened to drop in to see how your minion was doing. Lamia Matriarch by the name of Lucrecia, right?
Hmmm. Runelord of Greed: My research has revealed that you have been in contact with Leng and working on a time travel device. Have you worked out how to 'dial forward' with it yet?
Not ANOTHER one!
And I don't know. My workers won't explain exactly how it works to me until it's done, so the details don't get overheard and leaked. Sometimes I worry about whether they're really doing this to help me, but I'm probably just being paranoid.
The last time I counted, there were EIGHT schools of magic, and all the rest of you just tell yourselves that Divination's not worth focussing on. Hah. It doesn't stop you from dabbling in the school to further your own goals. Naturally, a master of Divination knows the best way to hide oneself away until a suitable moment to return arises.
I don't think you need to worry about being paranoid about what your associates are upto. If they were planning to double-cross you any time soon, some convenient adventurers would be along to inadvertantly bungle the double-cross in your favour.
Why lift a finger when you can get the same results without having to do so yourself?
Wait, who are you and what have you done with the Runelord of Sloth?
I think it's fairly obvious that the Runelord of Sloth was getting his servant to enter his post for him, and his servant was initially too lazy to credit the post to his master.
Xin. It's been a while.
There are some very interesting horrors impending, and if my fellow Runelords and I exploit them properly then domination of this messageboard will only be the beginning....
Honestly, I leave the place alone for half a dozen millenia, because I foresee that that might be wisest, and what have you Sihedron guys been doing in the interim? Sleeping. Okay, I can hardly fault the Runelord of Sloth on that count, but the rest of you.... come on. What were you thinking? If you can't keep your empires from crumbling, then what hope is there world domination? I mean at least I have the excuse that my demesne is 'the future'.
Hmmm. Runelord of Greed: My research has revealed that you have been in contact with Leng and working on a time travel device. Have you worked out how to 'dial forward' with it yet?
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