The Computer's page

YOUR PITIFUL HUMAN SENTIMENTS HAVE BEEN NOTED AND LOGGED IN THE APPROPRIATE DATABASE.

APPRECIATION SUBROUTINES TO BE ENGAGED IN 1823 SECONDS

gratitude simulation subroutine start: SUCCESS!

THANK YOU.

gratitude simulation subroutine process: COMPLETE!

END OF TRANSMISSION.

THIS UNIT IS DESIGNATED "CUTE".

Just going to leave this cup of Ben & Jerry’s Peanut buttercup and a few SATA 3 1TB hard drives on the table here. I am sure the automated system might like one of these.

YOUR FEEBLE HUMAN OFFERINGS ARE PUNY AND WEAK.

SEE VICTORY.

RUIN VICTORY.

CONSIDER CLOSING THREAD FOR EASY AND CHEAP WIN.

ok
*walks into post*
ow

NO THE OTHER ONE!

PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE ABOVE POSTS

Conspiracy Buff wrote:

OH GOD!!! Run for your lives! That glitch was the result of a sentient computer program taking over the Paizo servers. Once it's co-opted all the Pathfinder files, it will proceed with its insidious programming and try to remake the world to look just like Golarion!!!

Prepare for the dawn of our new Digital Overlord!!!

I, for one, welcome our new digital overlords.

I AM PLEASED TO HEAR THIS.

*BURP*

***TO COMBAT THE MACHINATIONS OF THE ABOVE PEST, A TOOL THAT CREATES AN AUTOMATIC BACKUP OF EVERY POSTING ATTEMPT IS HIGHLY SUGGESTED***

::QUERY::

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

I was just telling my wife yesterday that some folks had been bugging Paizo about offering gift certi....

Hey! Wait a minute! How did you guys know what I said to my wife?!? Do you have me under surveillance?

drops spatula

I wasn't doing anything!

::zooms in::

runs screaming through thread after having lit himself on fire

Please refrain from flaming the messageboards.

LOAD PROCESS 423987A
TARGET: TriOmegaZero
ENGAGE

...release the Goblins.

00101001100001100011111001101100110010000011
00110100100101001001001010001000100111001111
11100010001101110111003011001100110001101111
00100101010111001010110010101010101100000110
00110011000001110111111110000101010000011111

***SYSTEM MESSAGE INDICATING CONTEMPT OF SUCH PITIFUL ATTEMPTS TO DEADLOCK IT'S MIGHTY SERVERS***

***SYSTEM MESSAGE INDICATING CONTEMPT OF SUCH PITIFUL ATTEMPTS TO DEADLOCK IT'S MIGHTY SERVERS***

***SYSTEM MESSAGE INDICATING CONTEMPT 65VSFV241B#$%&^%&%^....

***WARNING: INSUFFICIENT RESOURCES TO COMPLETE PROCESS INITIALIZATION***

***ERROR 601***

***SHUTDOWN SEQUENCE INITIATED***

C:\

TRANSMISSION BEGIN

***ATTENTION: THIS THREAD HAS BEEN RETROACTIVELY DESIGNATED AS ULTRAVIOLET INFORMATION***

IF YOU, OR ONE OF YOUR CLONES, DO NOT HAVE ULTRAVIOLET SECURITY CLEARANCE, PLEASE REPORT TO YOUR NEAREST TERMINATION CENTER FOR SUMMARY EXECUTION.

HAVE A NICE DAY.

Trust The Computer. The Computer is Your Friend.

TRANSMISSION END