Tensor's page

Hmm, I thought this was the offical Cthulhu song

Tensor rises with frustrated annoyance and says, "These idiots cannot even pronounce Cthulhu's name correctly. They are fail, and are not gamers."

Do not forget:

Jail House Rock (American style) - a sport version named "The 52 Blocks" has become popular (see this >NYTimes link<).

Also, check out >this 52 Blocks< video. @1:30 you can see a guy fighting in hand-cuffs.

Below is a synopsis of "Jail House Rock", because I’m sure most of you have not heard of it:
Jail House Rock is the art of fighting while
shackled and in small confined spaces.
It is said >Jail House Rock< has it roots in Africa.
Slaves in slave ships first formulated it
as they crossed the ocean. Remember these
captives had been warriors and their Martial Arts
were high-tech.

Whited Sepulcher wrote:

Wait till all the films are finally out and some theaters do some sort of harry potter film fest where you get to sit through all the films till your eyes bleed out. Enjoy!

I think the chances of Warner Brothers releasing show prints of anything but the most recent version are pretty slim. If they do something like this, it would most likely be a staggered rerelease like Fox did with the remastered Star Wars trilogy.

I actually interpreted "some theaters" as college-town movie emporiums. Some student organization will rent all the DVDs and show them in an auditorium, or large class room, back-to-back.

I always thought it was fun bringing blankets and pillows to the auditoriums in college to watch some bizarre spectacle or movie. I saw Galaxyquest that way.

It is a new Han Solo movie... I mean Harrison Ford movie, but

I see it as a Firefly rip-off.

> obligatory link <

Yes but he did that one thing really, really well.

I believe what you said is the secret to life.

Albert Einstein did one thing, and he is considered a genius.

I do one thing every day.

Godzilla got defeated by a large butterfly.

> Butterfly? <

Godzilla heard a commotion coming from over the next hill. He turned his head to look in that direction and burped. Then spit out the toothpick he was chewing on.

He began walking, wondering what was going on over here in this thread, and in the mood for a fight.

Feel your fear.

> Now is the time when we dance. <

Charles Babbage plays a game of chess against the amazing, mechanical chess playing machine named The Mechanical Turk. So, amazed, and thoroughly enthralled by the notion a machine can carry out "thinking" by mechanical means, Charles Babbage goes on to invent the Difference Engine. In doing so, he becomes the father of computing.

Now... the Mechanical Turk was a hoax. There was a midget, grandmaster chess player carefully tucked away inside the box.

If Charles Babbage had known there was a little man inside, he may have become a pastry chef instead. And none of us would now have a cell phone.

> Head Hunting: The Shaur Clan <

What is in the water in Ecuador?

A shrunken head is a severed and specially prepared human head that is used for trophy, ritual, or trade purposes. The skull is taken out, and the skin turned inside out.

bu... bu... bu... but why?

C O N A N !

C O N A N !

"Sad news for fans of classic anime, as Yoshinobu Nishizaki, the producer of Space Battleship Yamato, fell to his death from a boat this past Sunday..."

>Space Battleship Yamato< on Wiki

>misc images<

Apparently my whole workplace is 'overweight' - fittest bunch of overweight people on Earth.

I sincerely hope there are no Gravity Whores .

Using up more than their fair share of gravity. ;-)

The main problem with BMI is it does not take your body composition into account.

I think a better question to ask is, "What is the best percent body fat?"

Followed quickly by the question, "What is your cholesterol level?"

We all know muscle weighs more than fat, and BMI maps a highly muscular person, even with low percent body fat, as being overweight.

So, What is the best percent body fat for man, and for a woman?

From >this page< . (NSFW)

.

---------------

Stupid Inbred Stack of Meat -- BUN tyen-shung duh ee-DWAY-RO

Cow Sucking -- Shee-niou

A Baboon's A@@~*!+ -- FAY-FAY duh PEE-yen

Extraordinarily Impatient Buddha -- Jen mei NAI-shing duh FWO-tzoo

Dog F%~*ing -- Go tsao de

Panda Piss -- Shiong mao niao

Frog-Humping Son of a B%@#* -- Ching-wah TSAO duh liou mahng

Stupid Son of a Drooling Whore and a Monkey -- Liou coe shway duh biao-tze huh hoe-tze duh ur-tze

Have a S#&+-Throwing Contest with a Monkey -- Gun HOE-tze bee DIO-se

Filthy Fornicators of Livestock -- Huh choo-shung tza-jiao duh tzang-huo

Motherless Goats of All Motherless Goats -- Gao yang jong duh goo yang

Holy Mother of God and All Her Wacky Nephews -- Wuh duh ma huh tah duh fong kwong duh wai shung

Shove All the Planets in the Universe Up my Ass -- Tai-kong suo-yo duh shing-chiou sai-jin wuh duh pee-goo

The Explosive Diarrhea of an Elephant -- Da-shiang bao-tza shr duh lah doo-tze

Holy Testicle Tuesday -- Shun-SHENG duh gao-WAHN

Tensor wrote:

The best martial arts movie I have ever seen.

Then you need to see Five Deadly Venoms.

I have. In fact, I have it >on VHS< .

Why? What's wrong with the old way?

You can do partial products in your head waaay faster than the old way. But the old way still works.

I can do most 3 digit * 3 digit in my head in about 10 seconds.

Investment Banker -- they are making a come back.

Being killed by a fully autonomous robot would suck.

GO !!

"The goal is to write a 175-page (50,000-word) novel by midnight, November 30."

I voted. But I don't live in NY state, so I couldn't vote for the squirrel.

I just watched them all. Feynman is pure awesomeness.

if a wizard is really that desperate, there is always this thing called enchantment spells. a single casting of charm person is all it takes. he could get the most appealing young woman in the area to approach his library and do the deed atop his desk.

What bothers me most is talk about seeing an attractive female, and then "stealing" her by spell, or binding, to essentially allow the wizard to masturbate into her, not make love to her. This attitude surprises me (but at the same time kinda demonstrates why wizard types don't get regular action.)

Um, yay... what about love? What about getting to know another person, developing a relationship, and building a life?

As a good friend said, if you want them to scream your name in passion they have to know it first.

Benoit Mandelbrot, Father of Fractals, Dies at 85

"His work on fractals has become a foundation of Chaos theory and is critical to many applications and systems, ranging from digital compression on computers, modeling turbulence on aircraft wing designs, and texturing medical images."

. . . . . . . . . . . > LINK <

wow. Lilith is one of the cooliest people I have ever met.

If you want to go the pseudo-scientific route, I have one word for you: Tesla.

Tesla for the win.

That dude, without a doubt, had a high mythos score -- and the accompanying SAN damage. Parts of his life read as if they are taken from HPL's work:

"Soon thereafter, Tesla was awakened from a dream in which his mother had died, "And I knew that this was so". After her death, Tesla fell ill. He spent two to three weeks recuperating in Gospic; and the village of Tomingaj near Gracac, his mother's birthplace."

I now understand what Tesla's work was all about! He was trying to open the Gate.

Wasn't he murdered in the end?

Yes, that works wonderfully. woot!

I'm listening to the > Jason Bulmahn interview <

My players have discovered “shadow people” in their 1950's town. These shadows are the lower dimensional projections of beings living in a parallel and/or higher dimensional realm.

I want a player to find a tome with instructions how to open a portal between these worlds.

However, I am out of ideas as to what the instructions should be? I know there should be some blood, some technology, and some magical chanting… but do you have any ideas you can suggest of playable game-elements that I can make my players do to open the portal??

22. Ignore him and start your own game on the side.

23. Make fun of his fat body.

EDIT: Don't forget about the Emergency Chat Deprivation Shelter! :D

The Chat Room and Bar, with pool patio around back.. is down..

David Fryer wrote:

Today Germany made the final reperations payment Thus offically ending the First World War.

Technically it was the final interest payment on the loans they took out to make the reparations payment. They'd made the actual payments before World War II.

Also, after Germany was divided and West Germany was paying all the bills, it was decided that the interest on the loans would only be paid by a united Germany, which is another reason it's taken a while to get done.

Interest on a debt is as much a part of a debt as the principle. So technically David Fryer is correct.

Wasn't this last year's prize?

This may be the eternal prize.

Ha! Yay.

Also, I have to wonder what kind of a world do we live in, or does that woman live in, where such things are even necessary.

"The work is based on the Peter Principle, which suggests that people will keep getting promoted until they end up in a position that is beyond their abilities. The work has a pretty big assumption: a hierarchical organization where performance at a higher position doesn't depend on performance in the positions below it. But, given that assumption, agent-based modeling shows that the Peter Principle holds, and the most efficient promotion strategies involve a degree of randomness. "

Get this, > the paper is in a Physics Journal <

Seriously. She designed and patented a bra that can be quickly converted into a pair of gas masks, one for the brassiere wearer and one to be given to some needy bystander.

> (safe) LINK <

We'll play nice at first, but let's be ready to kick some alien butt.

>video link< *****

Tonight on the CBS news, the broadcaster said, "This just in, a planet assumed to be capable of supporting life has been discovered. I guess this means if we wreck this planet we can always go there."

STUPID IDIOT!!!

What if someone is there already, and they have already wrecked that planet, and once they see our planet they will come here!!! And wreck our planet.

We'll play nice at first, but let's be ready to kick some alien butt.

>video link< *****

My Cleric Order is going to offer a new service to raise revenue. We call it the iCleric app. For a monthly subscription fee of 50gp you get an app installed on your Gem of Communication. If you find yourself in need of healing, and the coast is clear, safe, and un-dangerous (as defined by the terms of you iCleric subscription contract) a member of our Clerical Order will teleport to you and heal all to the best of his or her abilities. What a savings...

You don't need a corvette to drive off a cliff, these days you can do it with a segway.

Accidentally.

My very first time as DM was a lot like that...but Due to lack of Experience. I picked up speed in the years that followed and am the awesome DM with insane Campaign Ideas you enjoy today.

Did you pick up speed because your dad got you a Corvette? And today do your insane ideas involve driving off a cliff?

tight little yarn, that.

nice line- "This must be what the official after-school game is like—gifted children dreaming up splendors, not middle-trackers squirming beneath a nutso’s moods."

Didn't Erik Mona play in the after-school game?

I found this image in the paizo section of wayne reynolds website.

http://www.waynereynolds.com/Magazine%20Art/MagazineArt/N.jpg
Does anyone know who's that guy?

That dude be > The Snow Miser < !!!

> This exoskeleton < is a good beginning step. It will be good for close up in-fighting with the alien attackers. Kinda like how >Ripley battled the alien< b!~$! queen..

I just realized that Harry Potter can draw upon Time Travel. Maybe he could go back to when Luke was a boy and kill his parents. Now that would be a story.

Edit: Notice the position of his step-father is on >this chart< .

You learn the rules for the CCG early.

Tensor wrote:

Täîg wrote:

...why can't he cast fireball at 1st level?

For the same reason he can't cast teleport.

So you're saying he's underpowered?

I'm saying all anyone really needs is Wish™.

Tensor wrote:

Spanky the Leprechaun wrote:

Is that evil?

Or does he gotta go squirtles in there?

Throwing it in is technically littering, and he will have to do penance for forgiveness.

Doing the squirtle thing, unless it is symptom bowel disorder, will immediately open a portal through witch 13 Type IV Deamons will rush forth and attack.

How could a paladin have a bowel disorder?

I'm thinking too many spicy potatoes in the dinner cooked by his succubus wife.