Origin: Menzoberranzan, and I absolutely refuse to believe I actually spelled that right on the first try.
Adventure: Battle of Bloodmarch Hill
Location: The caves just outside Trunau
What Done It: Party member absence, rules that don't really come up so much in Pathfinder
Last Time, on Dragon Ball Z: Our party's extremely racist dwarven druid discovered the definitions of karma and irony as he was killed by the party member that most represents his utter hatred of orcs, so we had to go meet his replacement.
Enter Xazz'rav, a drow rogue who combined Piranha Strike with the finest of elven weaponry, the
Colt M1911A1 elven curveblade. He proves how awesome he is (and how excellently he teams up with Waldo the halfling who occupies large opponents' fighting space) in the next fight.
And Exit Azure: Azure's player couldn't make it tonight, so Azure went... well, hell if I know. She just up and vanished. The four remaining party members go into the eeeeeeeeeeevil caves up outside Trunau anyway.
This proved to be a mistake; I blew all my Channel Energy uses trying to kill a swarm of ghost rats, the party thoroughly gets its ass kicked but we persevere.
CHAIN OF PAIN: Then we fight gryphs and spiders. We easily defeat them and move on, and then things get bad when we run into Our Villain, the tattooed half-orc who might or might not be leading the orc army.
.....And his two dire wolves.
.....And his flood troll pal.
.....And his alchemist buddy.
During this fight, we discover:
- No matter how high you can get your Armor Class with judicious arcanum use, a good roll on a d20 will ruin your day, as Rogen learned.
- The Healing hex actually does have a specific range (touch) as I learned.
- Halflings really shouldn't use Strength as a dump stat, as Waldo learned.
- Rogues aren't exactly the most durable character class, as Xazz learned.
Deep Hurting: Xazz'rav keeps going up and down like a Yo-Yo Ball as my feeble healing spells keep healing him back into consciousness (then the wolves knock him back into a coma, repeat until bored.) Rogen's holding his own against the troll, the orc escapes with the big-ass hammer we were trying to stop him from getting, and then Xazz goes down, his spirit grabbing my shaman and telling her "Do everything you can... to keep me alive," telling a messed up story about how "if [he] lives, my f%~*ing nephews will NEVER get my money, mwahahahahaha."
Me: (decides he's delirious from blood loss)
Like Russian History...: Things get worse. Xazz goes down for the fourth time. I go down (but stabilize on a natural 20; our DM refused to use the Fifth Edition "roll a 20 on your stabilize check, come back to life at 1 HP" rule like I wanted.) One of the wolves goes down. The alchemist... I honestly don't remember what happened to him; I think he's dead. The troll is eventually killed as Waldo too joins us in a time-out. The one potion we have in the party doesn't fully rouse me, so Rogen knows things are serious.
He takes my healer's kit and starts operating on me.
My Light spell ends, so he winds up having to light a torch (that he forgot he had...) to keep working on me.
The Obscure Rules Part Kicks In Here: Treat Deadly Wounds takes one hour in-game to do, unless you have certain ways to mitigate that that I'm too lazy to look up right now (it's 1:15 am and I really should be asleep...) If you're unconscious for an hour because you're in the red when it comes to HP, you need to make a DC 10 Con check. Succeed, and you're awake but can't do strenuous actions. Fail, and you lose 1 HP and need to make another check in an hour.
I regain enough HP from Rogen's (untrained!!) Heal check to perform surgery on me, and Waldo wakes up because he actually rolled good on that Con check. Unfortunately for Xazz'rav... he did not fare so well on his Con check.
He had 8 Constitution.
The three surviving party members, two of whom have massive Strength and Constitution injuries, get the hell out of Dodge to go regroup.
Cory, Rogen's Player: By the way, you know who's to blame for all this, right?
Me: We're not gonna blame the healer, are we? =(
Cory: What? No. This is all Damien's fault!
Mike, Xazz's Ex-Player: Huh?
Cory: He's a sorcerer! If he showed up today, then we would have had attack magic! Snorb wouldn't have blown all his channels on those g@&%*@n ghost rats!
Booke, Waldo's Player: All in favor of blaming Damien for Xazz dying?
All of Us: (raise hands) Aye!
Booke: All opposed?
Dead Silence: (nothing happens)