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Cayden Cailean

Snorb's page

FullStar Pathfinder Society GM. 550 posts (562 including aliases). No reviews. No lists. No wishlists. 2 Pathfinder Society characters. 2 aliases.


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Liberty's Edge

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Circus Minimus
Win a chariot race in a campaign by being the only remaining competitor.

The End of the Millennium
Your adventuring party is a human fighter/paladin, an elf fighter/cleric, a human sorcerer, and an android gunslinger.

The Fellowship of the... oh, Whatever
Your adventuring party is four halfling rogues, one human wizard, two human fighters, one dwarf fighter, and one elf ranger.

Generations of Doom
Have a campaign go on so long that your characters retire/die and their children take up the campaign.

Hang In There, Baby!
Win a chariot race in a campaign by getting dragged across the finish line by your horses.

Look At Me. Look At Me. I Am the Dungeon Master Now
Usurp the position of Dungeon Master.

Old-School Throwback
Your adventuring party is a human fighter, human rogue, human wizard, human cleric, dwarf fighter, elf magus, and halfling rogue.

Successors of Time
Have a campaign go on for so long that you wind up playing the child of the character you played as in the Generations of Doom achievement.

Liberty's Edge

It's like Classic Traveller all over again! ^_^x

Liberty's Edge

Purple Dragon Knight wrote:
Snorb wrote:

In this DM's admittedly very slim defense, plate mail did grant an AC bonus against slashing weapons.

Back in 1989.

And as a DM back then, I loved to ignore that annoying and stupid table. AC was a suitable abstraction back then, and it still is.

Tell your DM you're no longer interested in the type of game he runs, and that you respectfully bow out. Then spend all your energies finding a new group.

Hell, I don't blame you. I looked at my copy of the 2e PHB and I still don't know how to make heads or tails of that chart.

Liberty's Edge

All perfectly valid points- I kinda dashed this out in like five minutes before I had to help my dad put out Halloween decorations. =p

Set wrote:
That last line seems to have ended early. Do the missiles directed at that target do double damage or something? Explode? Ricochet to affect other targets?

Yeah, it was supposed to end "does double damage." I kinda messed that one up.

Set wrote:
Magic Missile Master

Guess what was the inspiration for these? (Besides 13th Age. =p)

Ross Byers wrote:
Improved Magic Missile looks a lot like the effect of Spell Specialization(magic missile).

You know, I have never seen the Spell Specialization feat before. x_X

Greater Magic Missile should just be a higher-level spell, not a feat. (It's very similar to casting Maximized Magic Missile.)

Perhaps, but to be fair, there are better spells at higher spell levels than outright damaging spells.

Not getting critical hits is one of the balancing features of spells without attack rolls. Not sure it's worth a feat to get more damage 5% of the time, instead of just getting a metamagic feat with guaranteed damage.

Then again, I was never particularly good at game balance...

Stay on Target should required Greater Spell Penetration, and would be more interesting if it applied to all Spell Focused spells, not just magic missile.


DM_Blake wrote:
Super Genius games has a 2-page PDF with 7 feats for Magic Missiles. Part of their Bullet Points product line.



Yours are pretty good, but I'm not fond a feat that has limits per day based on character ability scores.

Besides, very few Wizards will be limited by this (how often does a wizard cast Magic Missile more times than his INT mod per day?). The feat is worthless for sorcerers.

Int limitation removed!

Also, the feat that gives criticals is not worth a feat. Make it more interesting, like a to-hit roll with each missile and let it crit as 19-20/x3 and maybe I'd spend a feat slot on it.

Critical Missile now does 19-20/x3 criticals. (You can still only target one unlucky bastard at a time with it though, but nothing's STOPPING you from tossing six magic missiles at him... =p)

Thanks for the feedback so far! ^_^

Liberty's Edge

I like Magic Missile. I made feats to improve/break the spell.

Enjoy! Critique! Concern! Praise! Scorn!

Liberty's Edge

In this DM's admittedly very slim defense, plate mail did grant an AC bonus against slashing weapons.

Back in 1989.

Three and a half editions* of Dungeons & Dragons ago.

If you're using a greatsword (which might or might not be taller than your character) against a guy in plate armor, respectfully remind your DM that Armor Class is an abstraction and representative of the total modified d20 roll you need to successfully hit and injure a man-sized target wearing plate armor. Also remind him that because you're really strong, even if you roll high enough to hit your target and he rules your sword smashes into his plate mail, tell him, "Dude, I've got 20 Strength and I hit him four times as hard as a normal human should**. He's at least getting a really big discolored bruise under all that armor because of me."

If your DM insists that slashing weapons don't work against armored opponents, sit back and tell him, "Horizontal slash, neck level. YOU guess the result." Or tell him how much of a f$#~ing idiot he is.

Just don't attempt to use the Core Rulebook as a bludgeoning weapon. That -4 penalty for improvised weaponry is a real drawback. =p

*I'm counting Second -> Third -> 3.5e -> Fourth -> Fifth. You might count Second -> Third/3.5e -> Fourth -> Essentials -> Fifth, which is valid but kinda louses up my metaphor.

**I wish I could find the source for it, but Sean Reynolds said the intent of the d20 System, 3e in particular, was that going up +5 points in an ability score means you're twice as good as you were before. If you look at the carry capacity table, it's really obvious.

Liberty's Edge

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See, this is where you have the players just run Cheers d20.

Have the bard make a Perform (Percussion) check to play the first few notes of "Where Everybody Knows Your Name," the alchemist, fighter, rogue, cleric, and magus sing the lyrics/harmonize as appropriate.

Sit back, let the players run their tavern. You the DM act as the regulars. Call for checks as needed.

And then, about twenty minutes in, have one of the regulars sink a knife into Norm But If He Were A Dwarf's back. Have Dwarf Norm's friends get pissed at this guy. Have the friends fight the assassin's friends while Urist McNorm bleeds to death all over his barstool. (This is about where the players should jump in, provided they take this broadly worded hint.)

Once they're going through the pockets of all the guys they killed, that's where you put the plot hook.

Liberty's Edge

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Arakhor wrote:
Snorb wrote:

Holy Crap Your Not Serious Are You (2016 Edition)

Take one level each of the alchemist, arcanist, barbarian, bard, bloodrager, brawler, cavalier, cleric, druid, fighter, gunslinger, hunter, investigator, inquisitor, kineticist, magus, medium, mesmerist, monk, occultist, oracle, paladin, psychic, ranger, rogue, shaman, skald, slayer, spiritualist, sorcerer, summoner, swashbuckler, vigilante, warpriest, witch, and wizard classes.

Given that (a) it's spelt you're and (b) you'd need to be 36th-level to qualify for this, I'd suggest this instead:

Reach 10th-level by having a single level in ten different base classes.

The misspelling is intentional; the reference was the response someone got from the creator of I Wanna Be the Guy after saying they beat the game on Impossible mode.

(The original version of this achievement was made when the newest true class was the gunslinger, which would put you at nineteenth level. =p)

Liberty's Edge

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Orthos wrote:
Given I'm just about to start LoF, I will triple-read that section to avoid throwing that kind of nonsense at my players >_>


Liberty's Edge

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Some background: The introduction to the sixth book of Legacy of Fire has the author basically saying "Yeah, we actually considered letting the bad guy win this one." You have a randomized amount of days to go kill the end guy before he uses the world's greatest Wish spell to take over the world. There is, legitimately, a great chance the party will be horribly killed.

For whatever reason that just completely baffles the human mind, the friend who ran Legacy of Fire for our group somehow managed to interpret this as "The party has 1d6 rounds to beat the final boss."
Now, our party has no way of knowing this when we get to the final boss. (Nor did we know that every single enemy we would run into for the last book and a half had resistance to cold damage for some reason, despite the entire AP taking place in a f!&&ing desert in not-Arabia, but whatever. We have other ways of putting the hurt on things.) We begin to fight the final boss, we roll for initiative, confident that we're going to kill a jackass genie and save our campaign setting.

Four rounds later, the DM says "You guys lose." No circumstance, no flavor text, no explanation. Just "You lose."

We respond with a precise blend of confusion, anger, implications of DM fiat, and open questioning of what the hell actually happened. The DM tells us that we had 1d6 rounds to kill the end guy, and he rolled a 4.

My best friend replies, "What!?" and takes the book. I've never seen anybody openly rebel against a DM before, but there's a first time for everything, I guess. Combat screeched to a complete halt for thirty-five minutes as my friend and the DM argue about the very existence of "I swear to God, it's in the flavor text, d6 rounds to win."

Now, myself, I have no horse in this race; my elf alchemist got incinerated two rounds into the fight. But eventually, the DM allowed the survivors to finish a (mysteriously difficult) fight against the boss.

Liberty's Edge

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Can't You Play an Elf Like a Normal Human Being?
Replace one race's entire set of default racial traits with alternate racial traits.

Didn't Think This Through
Take on an enemy with a CR at least three higher than your character level by yourself and lose.

Golf Bag Full of Weapons
Become proficient with every simple and martial weapon, and five exotic weapons.

Holy Crap Your Not Serious Are You (2016 Edition)
Take one level each of the alchemist, arcanist, barbarian, bard, bloodrager, brawler, cavalier, cleric, druid, fighter, gunslinger, hunter, investigator, inquisitor, kineticist, magus, medium, mesmerist, monk, occultist, oracle, paladin, psychic, ranger, rogue, shaman, skald, slayer, spiritualist, sorcerer, summoner, swashbuckler, vigilante, warpriest, witch, and wizard classes.

How Hard Can CR 1 Creatures Be?
Get killed by an encounter at least three CR lower than your character level.

Liberty's Edge

Diffan wrote:
• remove/modify Gate and Wish. Make both spells require a week to cast and negatively effect the caster.

Here we go, adapted from Fifth Edition:

  • Every time you cast a spell until you get eight hours' worth of sleep, you take 1d10 damage/spell level. (This damage, similar to Smite Evil and similar effects, bypasses DR and cannot be reduced or prevented in any way.)
  • You take enough Constitution* damage to leave you with 3 Constitution, if it isn't there already. Lesser Restoration, Restoration, Greater Restoration, and similar effects can't reduce this damage; you have to recover naturally (long-term care can help here.)
  • There is a 33% chance that you will never be able to cast Wish again.

    *In 5e, this is Strength and it's reduced to 3 for 2d4 days. Targeting Constitution instead hits casters where it hurts.

  • Liberty's Edge

    Sir Reginald von Milquetoast, He of the Battle-Yellowed Pantaloons: (in his vigilante getup) Behold, heroes, look at the justice that RONALLLLLLLLLLLLD JUSTICE~!! has wrought upon these evildoer trolls!

    Freddy the Fighter: Reggie, what the actual hell is wrong with you!?

    Rita the Rogue: Did you seriously just pull a Head of Vecna on these two trolls!? D:

    Sir Reginald: Nonsense! Everybody knows Vecna only has one eye!

    Amy the Alchemist: Please, Reggie. I'm on my knees in a five-electrum piece pair of pants. Seek. Professional. Help. (stage whisper) Did you save some of their blood?

    Sir Reginald: (makes "call me" gesture to Amy; never mind that Iron Age Finland has a distinct lack of telephones and neither one of these characters can cast Message)

    Liberty's Edge

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    In the early playtests for Dungeons & Dragons Fifth Edition, the mage wizard had a sidebar about his spellbook that said "It doesn't have to be a book, per se. It could be a series of glass disks etched with arcane runes, it can be Braille-like writing on the back of a shield, it could be a set of adamantine sheets you tote around, it could be a massive scroll with what looks like musical notation, it can even be tattoos you put on the rogue's back. Just remember that you can always be separated from your spellbook (the DM is free to interpret what happens to the unfortunate rogue in that last example.)"

    Then it became "Nope, the class feature is called 'Wizard Spellbook,' it has to be a book, lolz good game sris."

    I see no reason why the former can't be a thing in Pathfinder (with no mechanical benefit/penalty.)

    Liberty's Edge

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    In the setting I'm working on, female dwarves most decidedly do not have beards. Ever. (To serve as the equivalent of "the braiding and decorations in my beard tell the story of my family's past few generations," dwarven women braid their hair and/or wear dreadlocks.)

    Then again, popular names for dwarves include Di (diminutive of Diamond,) Emerald, Flint, Jade (diminutive of Jadeite,) Jasper, Malachite, Mica, Onyx, Quartz, Ruby, Slate, and Urist (or Urissa if you are a woman.)

    (Edited to grammar gooder.)

    Liberty's Edge

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    How to Speak Dwarven: A Primer By Snorb

    "Hello!" - "Ach!"
    "Let us make haste." - "Get yer arses in gear, lads/lassies!!"
    "Hello, friend elf." - "What in th' blue hells are *YOU* lookin' at, knife-ears!?"
    "Orcs are foul creatures." - "ORCS!! Semi-sentient vermin! Let's skin 'em, lads!!"
    "I'll have a drink, please." - "Oi! My pals 'n I demand th' finest liquors available t' dwarvenkind, we want them here, an' we want them now!"
    "I believe this drink is watered down." - "I did nae ask fer th' swill ye serve elves!"
    "This is the finest of dwarven weaponry, the dwarven urgrosh." - "(FRANTIC HACKING WITH AXE END OF URGROSH IN BETWEEN STABBING PEOPLE WITH THE SPEAR END)"
    "You may wish to recant what you just said about my honor." - "(UNINTELLIGIBLE OBSCENITY-LACED ANGRY GRUNT THAT BARELY COUNTS AS LANGUAGE)"
    "I am a wizard." - "I made th' WRONG career choice, lads."
    "My name is John Smith." - "They call me Urist McFlinthammer."

    (this goes on for another hundred pages...)

    Liberty's Edge

    I've been collecting a _lot_ of PDFs of the Buck Rogers XXVc game. I love that game, mostly because I loved the Sega Genesis version of it when I was younger.

    That said, I've also got on my shelf of Things I'll Probably Never Play:

  • Dungeons & Dragons: Oriental Adventures (3e, the one with Rokugan, and pretty much my favorite Third Edition book ever)
  • Legend of the Five Rings: Third Edition
  • Buck Rogers: High Adventure Cliffhangers: War Against the Han (What's harder to find than an obscure long out-of-print poorly-selling roleplaying game based on a newspaper comic from 1929? The sole supplement for an obscure long out-of-print poorly-selling roleplaying game based on a newspaper comic from 1929! It's so cute that Wizards of the Coast thought they were going to make more than one of these back in 1995.)
  • Mage: The Sorcerer's Crusade
  • Cyberpunk 2020: Core Rulebook, Chromebook 1 & 2, Chromebook 3 & 4, Listen Up You Primitive Screwheads (A Referee's Guide)
  • Star Wars: Saga Edition Core Rulebook and Starships of the Galaxy (my best friend has Knights of the Old Republic Campaign Guide, damn his luck)
  • Numenera: Core Rulebook
  • Firefly Roleplaying Game

  • Liberty's Edge

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    Fifth Edition removed alignment effect from the game, but the paladin oaths still kinda tended towards the lawful and/or good.

    Fourth, on the other hand, pretty much said, "You're a paladin and you're True Neutral? Cool, God don't care, just don't abuse your powers too much."

    Liberty's Edge

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    Rita the Rogue: ......Is that your card?
    Lord Baron Whoopass von Badass: (draws The Gems from a deck of many things. Gemstones bamf into existence around him) No.
    Rita: Damn... that your card?!
    Lord Baron: (draws The Star. He immediately looks tougher) No!
    Rita: Guys, this was a really bad idea.
    Freddy the Fighter: Can't we just kill him? Just capturing him was such a pain in the ass.
    Katelyn the Kineticist: No, we gotta hold him. We're the good guys.
    Rita: ......Is this your card!? This one!?
    Lord Baron: (draws The Sun and The Vizier. A +1 frost burst impact greatsword bamfs into existence next to him) You've forced nine cards from that deck onto me. You're never going to get The Void!
    Rita: You said that six cards ago. ...Is THIS your card?!

    Liberty's Edge

    Male Human Smart 2

    Martine's stomach lurched; her feet began floating from the deck plating. As her ponytail came level to her shoulders, she shouted "Artificial gravity failure! Zero-G procedures, everyone!"

    She had to use the ceiling as a set of handholds to keep herself steady as her combadge chirped. "Landen to senior staff," she said. "Looks like we've had another... incident. I might be able to get the artificial gravity back online through the computer core; until then, I think we need to break out the gravity boots."

    Her earlier thought of setting up a sleeping bag in her office was starting to sound more and more reasonable.

    Liberty's Edge


    Star Wars Saga Edition (and to a lesser extent, Fourth Edition) did this for your saves:

    • Fortitude: 10 + your level + your Con mod (or Str mod if you are a droid) + armor bonus + class bonus (+1 for Jedi and scouts, +2 for soldiers)
    • Reflex: 10 + your level or your armor bonus + your Dex modifier (limited by armor) + class bonus (+1 for Jedi, nobles, and soldiers, +2 for scoundrels and scouts)
    • Will: 10 + your level + your Wis modifier + class bonus (+1 for Jedi and scoundrels, +2 for nobles)

    These were, however, rolled against by the attacker instead of rolled by the player. As much as I like treating Fort/Ref/Will as similar to AC (Heck, your Reflex Defense in Saga WAS your Armor Class) I can kinda understand why letting the player roll his save is a good idea.

    Liberty's Edge

    The Crusader wrote:

    Tier 1: Characters that are the most fun.

    Tier 2: Characters that you thought would be pretty fun, but just didn't coalesce like you hoped.

    Tier 3: Characters you just couldn't get into at all.

    Tier 4: Character you really didn't want, but you felt like you had to fill a niche that the party wanted.

    Tier 5: The truenamer. =p

    Liberty's Edge

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    The Cynical Tier List:

    Tier 1: Wizards and Clerics

    Tier 2: Everybody Else

    Liberty's Edge

    Milo v3 wrote:
    AntiDjinn wrote:

    That might explain why there is no skill for counterfeiting coins in PF. No one would bother because a gold coin with the local monarch's face on it and a blank disk of the same metal of the same weight would have the same value.
    Well, it'd just be a linguistics (forgery) check + craft (mint) check wouldn't it?

    If anything, it'd be a Craft (silversmith) check. (Failing by five or more would get you silver, all right... as in, "the local guards dip your hand in molten silver." =p)

    Liberty's Edge

    Something tells me Unchained isn't going to be getting any kind of future love. =/

    Liberty's Edge

    Personally, I consider soft cover as "anything you can hide half your body behind and MIGHT not stop an arrow or bullet; grants +2 AC." (Hard cover is, of course, "anything you can hide half your body behind and PROBABLY might stop an arrow or bullet; grants +4 AC.")

    Liberty's Edge

    I wholeheartedly recommend Jade Regent and Carrion Crown. Jade Regent I loved running, despite my massive complaints about two party members (THEY KNOW WHAT THEY DID). Carrion Crown has wonderful set pieces (THAT OUR DM CUT OUT BECAUSE HE DIDN'T WANT TO RUN THEM GRRRR) and is a lovely homage to every crappy 50s horror movie ever. The fact that we had a paladin and a cleric of the goddess of the sun in the party was a plus. (Not Sarenrae; our group doesn't play on Golarion, though we co-opted some of Golarion for our planet.)

    Iron Gods I loved playing, mostly because I was a brawler who partnered very nicely with an invulnerable rager barbarian. But I don't think that Pathfinder, or indeed the d20 System, is a good fit for a science fiction game. My love for Star Wars: Saga Edition notwithstanding.

    If you're looking for third-party non-Paizo adventure paths, Way of the Wicked lets you play eeeeeeeeeeevil characters (you must be THIS Lawful Evil to join the party, seriously, NO PALADINS ALLOWED) while Road to Revolution is also a very good "fight the good fight" adventure.

    One I was very disappointed in was Santiago: A Myth of the Far Future AP. I love sci-fi, I want to run a sci-fi game. The armor table in the Santiago player's guide is literally the Core Rulebook armor but renamed, and the spellcasting classes are basically handwaved as "it's techniques, not magic." If I wanted a game with wizards and clerics fighting evil in space, I would have played Spelljammer.

    The ultimate tragedy is that this is based on one of the best science fiction novels ever. And it boiled down to "You all meet in a post office, go find Santiago. Oh, here's some criminals to shoot."

    Liberty's Edge

    D'oh, I thought he was only going 8 total levels, not 10. >_<

    Liberty's Edge

    Yeah, you'd be right. The evangelist would get 1d6 channeling at 3rd and 5th level, and the holy vindicator's two levels would stack for another 1d6.

    So yes, 3d6 worth of channeling, which... isn't BAD, but I don't know either archetype, so I guess they make up for it in magic/performance/utter meanness?

    Liberty's Edge

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    WhiteMagus2000 wrote:
    No one in Laketown could possibly have a high enough knowledge(arcana) to identify a great wyrm red dragon.

    Oh, it gets better. Even if you do actually train Knowledge (Arcana), the difficulty to identify dragons increases as their age (and CR) go up. So if you don't keep up with your Arcana training as you level up, you won't be able to identify older dragons.

    Edvard Eddard, Evoker Extraordinaire: ...What the hell is that red thing up there?
    Barto the Bard: Oh, that? That's a red dragon wyrmling. You know, they breathe fire, can fly, takes about seven good solid blows to kill. I know that one, actually. That's Naakthaka, the daughter of the adult red dragon known as Hazhulkhen.
    Edvard: Oh. And what's that bigger red thing up there next to Naakthaka?
    Barto: .......You know, I've never seen one of those before. I have no idea.
    Katelyn the Kineticist: Neither have I.
    Hazhulkhen and Naakthaka: (both swoop in and incinerate Barto with fire breath)

    Liberty's Edge

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    DATELINE: The Future

    August 10, 2018: Pathfinder Second Edition Core Rulebook released.

    August 11, 2018: First "So when is Pathfinder Third Edition coming out?" thread appears.

    Liberty's Edge


    Liberty's Edge

    DM_Blake wrote:
    HeHateMe wrote:
    Ahhh the good old days, when the worlds of Krynn, Faerun and Athas were overrun with wizard-killing house cats.
    Why else do you think wizards were happy to have an otherwise useless house cat for a familiar? Fight fire with fire!

    To be fair, everything on Athas wants to kill you.

    Even Especially the cacti.

    Liberty's Edge

    Male Human Smart 2

    Martine Landen - Chief Engineer

    Liberty's Edge

    I PROMISE I will actually post as "Lt. Landen" instead of "Snorb" on the first try. Just once.

    Liberty's Edge

    @Jesse: Was there ever gonna be an update for the Star Trek RPG once Enterprise got a couple seasons under its belt? =p

    Liberty's Edge

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    Me: Okay, Snorb's ultimate celebrity D&D party, roll for intiative! (d20s roll; whir and a d20 roll) Okay, let's go around the table starting from the left.
    Patrick Stewart: I have a 14!
    Anne Hathaway: Ugh. Nine here.
    Matt Smith: (making a small Daern's Instant Fortress out of dice) Oh, I got an 11! :D
    Bill Nye: I've got 16... of SCIENCE~!
    Stephen Hawking: (vocoder) I rolled a natural 20. Add four for Improved Initiative, two for the Reactionary trait, and subtract five for my impaired Dexterity, for a total of twenty-one. I believe Black Jack the halfling rogue goes first.
    Me: .....I need to spend my Thursday nights playing with another group.

    Liberty's Edge

    Scavion wrote:
    Oooo an 8-bit theatre joke. Very classy.

    I blame 8BT for half the stuff my group does. =p

    Liberty's Edge

    Pro: You can make heads explode!

    Con: The head you explode might not be your opponent's.

    Liberty's Edge

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    Bandw2 wrote:
    DM_Blake wrote:

    No problem jumping 320', but it's about 7d6 damage on the landing...

    (altitude is 1/4 of height, so he's 80' high, controlled jump to ignore the first 10')

    You wanna jump that far, great, but invest in Feather Fall first or take your lumps.

    he wouldn't be able to land during his turn...

    Erik the Cleric: ...Where's Rita?

    Freddy the Fighter: She's trying out that new high jump trick of hers.
    Erik: Wait, what? Really?
    Katelyn the Kineticist: Look, uh, I can fly with some controlled kinetic blasts, Erik and Ed can fly, you have celestial chain mail, Fred... how's Rita gonna survive the landing?
    Rita the Rogue: (there's a Doppler effect on her scream) ...eyaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHH! (GRUNTCH)
    Rita's Thrown Cure Critical Wounds Potion: (falls and lands on Rita's head a second later)
    Rita: ....Perfect landing! ^_^

    Liberty's Edge

    @Insnare: I don't think The Sisko's dead ascended yet; we're only in TNG Season 7 time. The Enterprise is still a Galaxy class. =p

    (Eagerly awaits getting my current STO character to level 30 so I can fly around in the Defiant then to level 40 so I can fly around in the Sovereign.)

    Liberty's Edge

    The obvious answer would have been Martial Weapon Proficiency (pick one). =p

    Liberty's Edge

    Freddy the Fighter: Crap. Four swarms incoming. Erik didn't prep anything for fighting swarms, and Ed's out of spells.
    Rita the Rogue: And neither of us can actually hurt them with weapons. We're screwed!
    Barto the Bard: Fear not! Leave everything to (sound of a bard getting hardcore mangled by four swarms of bullet ants)
    Amy the Alchemist: Swarms? (gulps a Haste infusion, then starts pulling alchemist bombs out of her duster's pockets, out of her turban, out of her pants pockets... even one out of her boot) >=D

    [Cue Motorhead's "Ace of Spades" here as the alchemist proceeds to WRECK the swarms.]

    Liberty's Edge

    Freddy the Fighter: Look what I found! ^_^
    Rita the Rogue: ...What the hell is that?
    Freddy: It's... it's a terbutje. Made out of steel.
    Erik the Cleric: Fred, no. Just... no. That's not a terbutje. Terbutje's not even a word in a language I can speak, and I can speak ALL of them.
    Evard Eddard, Evoker Extraordinaire: Same here. I'm no blacksmith, but even I can tell you got ripped off.
    Amy the Alchemist: First off, the weapon's called a macuahuitl, not a tur-boot-yay. Second, the Mayincatec people of our planet make macuahuitls out of clubs that they very carefully put obsidian chunks into.
    Freddy: Why would you do that? Obsidian's stone, and not steel. Real weapons are made out of steel--
    Amy: And obsidian is much, much sharper than steel. Seriously, just a nick from it can really open you up. ...Hmm, I'll have to add some obsidian powder to my bombs...
    Rita: What you bought is "sword, but more expensive." >_<

    Liberty's Edge

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    So let's talk about the moon!

    Earth's moon is 238,900 miles away from where you are now. That's 1,261,392,000 feet! It seems reasonably safe to assume that Golarion's moon is about the same distance away. (NOTE: Istoria, my setting, has two moons, so this might get screwed up, but only slightly.)

    But wait! How do Kyra, Merisiel, Seoni, and Valeros actually manage to see the moon from Sandpoint?! According to the Perception rules, the difficulty to see Golarion's moon increases by +1 for every 10' distance. So the party would have a current modifier of 1d20-126,139,200.

    Don't worry, though. The moon would get a size penalty to Stealth due to its size. Again, using Earth's moon and its diameter of 2158.644 miles (DAMN YOU KILOMETER CONVERSION!!!), that works out to 7,082,165.3543 feet; or if you're on a battle mat, 1,416,433 squares. (Don't actually try to map this out to scale, this works out to 22 miles in real space.)

    Now, the size chart for Pathfinder only ("only!") goes up to Colossal size, which is a 6x6 square block. All is not lost, though! I extrapolated some additional size modifiers from the 3e Big Eyes Small Mouth book right here and... well, the largest BESM size modifier is still only -128. (And works out to a two-foot mini.)

    So we'll just assume that the moon has a -128 to Stealth. The moon takes 20 because it has time to hide, it gets a total Stealth of -113. (I'm assuming the moon has 0 Dexterity.)

    Now, let's say Kyra has a Wisdom of 36 (rolled an 18, +2 for being a human, +6 headband of inspired wisdom, +5 for getting to twentieth level, +5 inherent bonus through tomes of Wisdom), 20 ranks of Perception, Skill Focus (Perception), and Alertness. This gives her a grand total of +43 Perception before adding that whopping -126,139,200 distance penalty.

    Kyra rolls a 20 on her Perception, for a grand total of -126,139,137 vs. -113. Kyra, possibly the most perceptive person on Golarion, cannot see the moon.

    Liberty's Edge

    Male Human Smart 2

    Just remember, everyone, as of TNG Season 2, a splint is basically considered medieval quackery by a couple of docs on the Enterprise! (But surprisingly NOT Pulaski.)

    Liberty's Edge

    1 person marked this as a favorite.
    Snowblind wrote:
    Snorb wrote:
    Legio_MCMLXXXVII wrote:
    Cool. So tell me again how your versatile fighter is going to get to the next town over in five minutes? Cause I would love to be let in on that secret.

    Cannon travel is always a possibility.

    Unless gunpowder hasn't been invented in your campaign setting, in which case catapult travel is always a possibility.

    The best part? Because cannon/catapults make an attack roll to launch their payload (you), you can get to town in one standard action!

    That must be a pretty close town. The longest ranged siege weapons printed can't even hit targets a mile away. If one of them could land you in the next town, you could just run+hustle there.

    Oh, shoot. Even a heavy trebuchet can only get you 4000'. Still, you're a fighter, you can run n' hustle from there.

    Bandw2 wrote:
    just going to point out the rules don't allow the use of creatures as ammunition... otherwise i would be using dead cows as my trebuchet ammo.

    I would say that dead cows would at least count as plague bundles. (And we launched a character out of a catapult in our Giantslayer game. Amazingly, the character in question survived.)

    Liberty's Edge

    2 people marked this as a favorite.
    Legio_MCMLXXXVII wrote:
    Cool. So tell me again how your versatile fighter is going to get to the next town over in five minutes? Cause I would love to be let in on that secret.

    Cannon travel is always a possibility.

    Unless gunpowder hasn't been invented in your campaign setting, in which case catapult travel is always a possibility.

    The best part? Because cannon/catapults make an attack roll to launch their payload (you), you can get to town in one standard action!

    Liberty's Edge

    sunbeam wrote:


    There was a hilarious thread I saw once that was totally ripping [Sean K. Reynolds'] "value" for feats. I don't know if it is still on his website, it was around the time they were making the Pathfinder RPG.

    But that was some condensed insanity if you can find the page he was writing his analysis somewhere.

    I think he deleted it around the time Fifth Edition came out. It's replaced with something along the lines of "Deleted, this is just me coming up with stuff on the ride to work anyway, if you're curious go search engine it."

    Liberty's Edge

    18. Truly excellent bladework! Your dice (and hopefully your opponent's thoracic organs) explode! (Roll your usual critical hit damage, and reroll any damage die that comes up on its maximum result, and add it to the running damage total. If a rerolled die comes up maximum result again, reroll it again! The fun and learning NEVER begins!!)

    19. As #18, but throw a d8 into the mix as well!

    20. As #19, but pretend your first damage roll was all max results! (Basically, roll your critical hit damage, reroll exploding dice, and when all is said and done, add your usual max critical hit damage to your result.)

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