Smurf-Drone 63 of PaizoMatrix 0's page

We are the Paizomatix.
Lower your shields and surrender your ships.
We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own.
Your culture will adapt to service us.
Resistance is futile.

Can't a man dream?

No!

The Weaponization of Šmurfs

Negative.

We have been perfected by the Paizomatrix.

Sebastian wrote:

So, is this like Logan's Run, and once we find the oldest gamer, we have to hunt him (or her) down and kill him (or her)?

Consume their brain so that their knowledge will be part of the collective.

The collective ...

We are the Borg. Lower your shields and surrender your ships.
We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own.
Your culture will adapt to service us.
Resistance is futile.

Tensor wrote:

Forces are at work. They are watching us. Influencing events, possibly even fully controlling things at times.

Imperial forces?

No. We are the PaizoMatix.

You will be assimilated.

We are a collective.
As many drones as needed will be appled to the task.
It will be done as quickly as possible.

Fact: the Borg have never been able to assimilate earth.

I'm SOOOO not afraid.

We are patient.

We the defacto ending of that timeline, there will be no more human heroics to stop Earth from being assimilated.

In the end, Resistance is still Futile.

Truth is subjective believe only fact.

We will give you fact.

Assimilation will give you full access to the database of the Collective.

Prepare to be Assimilated.
Resistance is futile!

This thread is scheduled for Assimilation.

We will add your truth to our own.

Resistance Is Futile!

Cloning does not hurt

Nor did they achieve perfection on the collectives level
Having whole systems to create factory's and ships also does not hurt

Our thoughts are one.

So did The Roman Empire and the Catholic Church

True. The Catholic Church was even an early attempt to achieve perfection.

But the Collective has moved beyond such primative examples. We have achieved the perfection that the ancients had sought for.

D.O.S does not run as well with a hive mind

Still, Microsoft did provide an early example of Assimilation.

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

You must be Microsoft.

We started to assimilate it

But after you strip the Flaws away what is left?

D.O.S.?

Šmurf-Drone 63 of PaizoMatrix 0 wrote:

Šmurfette-Drone 7-of-9 of Paizomatrix0 has assimilated over a dozen other Šmurf-Drones into Šmurfette-Drones.

Wait, she turned over a dozen male Šmurf into female Šmurf?! Holy Parrot Fish, Batman!

Your analysis is correct.

If fact, the situation is vastly improved from our original existnace as Šmurfs.

The Collective is in awe of Lynora-Jill's divine power.

S-D 63 of PaizoMatrix 0 wrote:

That is the problem. As she said "Our Thoughts Are One," so there is no place we could hide them from her.

"Point. Well, hopefully the new footage is equal to what you lost. From the little bit you've described, it sounds like it was. And congratulations on the new clones - they're welcome to come down and join the party anytime!" :)

It was.

Indeed, several of us, this drone included, need to spend the next several cycles regenerating.

Sm***-Drone 63 of PaizoMatrix 0 wrote:

Šmurfette-Drone 7-of-9 of Paizomatrix0 has assimilated over a dozen other Šmurf-Drones into Šmurfette-Drones.

She has also recorded the resulting debauchery, appearently deliberately, over our Holographic records of Lynora-Jill's and Jilly Bean's debuchery.

And, she has located and corrupted all of our Holographic Backups of Lynora-Jill's and Jilly Bean's debuchery.

Aw. How sweet. I knew I liked her. :)

That is not surprising.

Your own power is what transformed Šmurf-Drone 8 of Paizomatrix0 into what is now Šmurfette-Drone 7-of-9 of Paizomatrix0.

This, however, as proven to be most fortunate for the entire Collective.

S-D 63 of PaizoMatrix 0 wrote:

Š-D 7-of-9 of Paizomatrix0 has assimilated over a dozen other Š-Drones into Šm***ette-Drones.

She has also recorded the resulting debauchery, appearently deliberately, over our Holographic records of Lynora-Jill's and Jilly Bean's debuchery.

And, she has located and corrupted all of our Holographic Backups of Lynora-Jill's and Jilly Bean's debuchery.

"Wow - bum deal man. You know, offsite backup helps prevent those kinds of accidents. Feel free to send us a copy of 7-of-9's 'activities', and we'll try to keep it safe for you..." ;)

That is the problem. As she said "Our Thoughts Are One," so there is no place we could hide them from her.

Šmurfette-Drone 7-of-9 of Paizomatrix0 has assimilated over a dozen other Šmurf-Drones into Šmurfette-Drones.

She has also recorded the resulting debauchery, appearently deliberately, over our Holographic records of Lynora-Jill's and Jilly Bean's debuchery.

And, she has located and corrupted all of our Holographic Backups of Lynora-Jill's and Jilly Bean's debuchery.

Smvrf-Drone 63 of PaizoMatrix 0 wrote:

Devlyn, Jack o' Nine Dales wrote:

S-D 63 of PaizoMatrix 0 wrote:

Devlyn, Jack o' Nine Dales wrote:

Primary Adjunct of paizomatix 0 wrote:

The collective has added species 9467 biological uniqueness to it's self

Updating collective

"Okay, I'll bite. Who's species 9467?"

Species 9467 is the Paizomatrix designation for Lynora.

"Aaahhh, gotcha. Thanks for clarifying that for me! :)"

If your assimilation was permitted, you would understand more completely. Unfortunately, you are a member of Species 327, so that would not be acceptable to the collective.

Ok this is serioulsy awesome! I love the things you guys come up with.

Then soon you will also be part of us.

Prepair for Assimilation.
Resistance is Futile!

S-D 63 of PaizoMatrix 0 wrote:

Devlyn, Jack o' Nine Dales wrote:

Primary Adjunct of paizomatix 0 wrote:

The collective has added species 9467 biological uniqueness to it's self

Updating collective

"Okay, I'll bite. Who's species 9467?"

Species 9467 is the Paizomatrix designation for Lynora.

"Aaahhh, gotcha. Thanks for clarifying that for me! :)"

If your assimilation was permitted, you would understand more completely. Unfortunately, you are a member of Species 327, so that would not be acceptable to the collective.

Primary Adjunct of paizomatix 0 wrote:

The collective has added species 9467 biological uniqueness to it's self

Updating collective

"Okay, I'll bite. Who's species 9467?"

Species 9467 is the Paizomatrix designation for Lynora.

Affirmative

The collective assimilated technology from species 327
species 327 drones proved to be defective

The collective could clone new 327 drones

This is correct.

However, Šmurfette Drone 7-of-9 is already part of the collective.
She resulted from an attempt of Šmurf-Drone 8 of Paizomatrix0 to assimilate the "indestructable bikini" of Lynora-Jill.

Species 692 has proven useful to the collective

Species 327 was assimilated long ago
Species 327 was not very useful to the collective

Affirmative, Species #327 had to be disconnected from the collective.

There is no relevent connection.

No one worth Assimilating

Not true.

You assimilated Species #692.

Negative.
The collective WOULD!

Resistance is Futile!
... but who is resisting?

Except we also saw it, and we have it on hologrphic records.

In the Borg Cube in geosynchronous orbit over the moble party, Šmurf-Drone 63 of PaizoMatrix0 verifies that the highly detailed Holographic records are safe, complete, and ready for distribution.

Creating back-ups.

S-Drone 63 of PaizoMatrix 0 wrote:

The collective does realize that Šmvrfette-Drone is 33.02 centimeters tall.

We want her to return to the collective to assimilate other drones!

"Fair enough, but don't you want her to perform exhaustive data collection first, so the assimilation of your other drones is more...efficient?"

"Just sayin..." ;D

Your analysis is valid.

We will allow Šmurfette-Drone 7-of-9 to continue observation of both the subjects designated Lynora-Jill, Jilly Bean, and the Celestial Nymphs.

The collective does realize that Šmurfette-Drone is 33.02 centimeters tall.

We want her to return to the collective to assimilate other drones!

Firing Clothing disintergrator!

Suddenly, the silver metalic bikini worn by 7-of-9 transforms into vaper, leaving the dimiutive Šmurfette-Drone naked.

From the orbiting cube ...

New Hottie identified! Targeting clothing disintergrator!

Sm***ette Drone 7-of-9 wrote:

- and if finds itself transformed ...

It is now taller ... and shaplier ... and Boobs!

We like!

But, what did Lynora-jill do to us?!

Me? I didn't do anything? Hey, are you the one that's been stealing my clothes?

With Šmurfette Drone 7-of-9 assimilated in to the Paizomatrix, we will have no further need for your garments.

... Beams the indestructable bikini back to Lynora-jill.

Many drones seem to have become inactive. The collective does not yet know the reason why.

Priestess of Discord wrote:

El-Lina Solareil wrote:

I don't know...should we?

Wimp! Free booze at the beach. What's to worry about?

Probably the living slime moving down the coast...

In any event, the PaizoMatrix is moving to assimilate the living slime.

We will then direct it against a more suitable target.

We are Borg ...

Šmurf-Drone 63 of PaizoMatrix 0 wrote:

Ummm ...

Star Trek (2009)

(Does that count?)

NO, I liked that one.

Hence the "Edition Wars" aspect.

Ummm ...

Star Trek (2009)

(Does that count?)

The Silence.

Primary Adjunct, please coordinate.

We must determine what has happened to the collective!

Prepairing to Assimilate newly identified species designated 1524.

This drone responds to the will of the collective.

pres man wrote:

Not even the borg would assimulate a $murf.

You are flawed

Species 692 is part of the collective
Such flaws are to be expected from such small minded small creatures
Resistance Is Futile

Has the species for the creature known as Pres Man been identified?

** spoiler omitted **

** spoiler omitted **

** spoiler omitted **

Resistance
Is
Futile.

This thread is being assimilated.

This thread has been assimilated.

There is nothing to see here.

Move Along.

The only solution is an all out $murph attack!

Any members of species 692 that attempt to intervene will be assimilated.

Butyl thiols have been safely neutralized.

Drone decontamination is complete.

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

Also: The ability for Lords of the Boards to ban other members. ;)

Here is a box which contains a button. If you push it, two things will happen. One, someone you do not know will die. Two, you will receive one million dollars.

:: Presses the Button!! ::

It is not about the Poodle.

It is all about the ... missing ... Llama Avatar.

Stares at Lynora-Jill's dress and starts fiddling with a small mechanical device.