Slaad-Barr's page

Australia is hazardous. Your party might be squished by a zloty.

{now with dubbed voice of Abe Vigoda, points at looming shape on the horizon} Oh no! Something's coming!

When I was little, Uncle Xanxost gave me a bunch of plastic dinosaurs to play with. Only later did I realize that plastic was made from oil, which is made from ancient dead dinosaurs... I was actually playing with real dinosaurs!!!! Or maybe miniature inanimate undead ones, I guess.

And, of course, the Sharkgull

That would make this scene in Finding Nemo terrifying.

Cthulhudrew wrote:

Azure_Zero wrote:

The warehouse crew have their own system of how they do the order of shipments.

And it involves bribes and coercion.

And kittens. Lots and lots of kittens. :)

Pretty sure kittens are not an accepted form of currency for the warehouse crew. For the cave raptors though, kittens are definitely accepted in whatever denomination you have.

Footage of simulated kitten vs. cave raptors mortal kombat. Raptors: 1, kitten: 0.

Meanwhile...

Hey! Where'd my tunnel go?! It was right here and now it's gone! This must be Jeremy's fault somehow.

I had never listened to them before now, but I must admit that the band The Flying Burrito Bears are truly the orangest of the prime numbers.

Aberzombie wrote:

Minus 40°C is exactly the same temperature as minus 40°F.

that sounds heavenly.

Of course it would, to you. ;)

Wait, Wendy's now serves Frostys in waffle cones?! Must. resist.

Eggscellent!

In 1947, Dollar Bill of the Minutemen got his cape stuck in a revolving door while attempting to foil the armed robbery of a bank and was subsequently gunned down.

Also, now when she makes waffles for herself, by Washington state law half of them are mine.

True, but that also means half your bacon is hers.

Meh, I'd bet a swarm of spider-squirrels would eat one in under a minute.

(And there's a lot more where that came from.)

{rushes in excitedly with laptop} Good news, CF! I was just checking the sales figures: your brand new Celestial Follower's Sustaining Spoontm is selling through the roof! It's a little odd that nearly all off them are being bought and shipped to only two buyers: 1) someplace called "The Reno Buffet of Dis," and b) someone named "Ramsay Bolton" though... Still, a sale is a sale!

{twirls invisible mustache} The RAW. Do you know what the RAW is? It's the thousand Save-or-Dies of Gygax's enemies -- a game we agree to play with each other over and over, until we forget that it's a lie. (Possibly NSFW clip)

{pauses to gnaw on some random scenery} Chaos isn't a pit. Chaos is a ladder. Many who try to climb it fail, and never get to try again. The fall breaks them. And some, given a chance to climb, they refuse. They cling to the Lawful, or the house-rules, or optimization. Illusions. Only the ladder is real.

No need for Lem; my brother and I shall perform it. One day, one day, I will master "YYZ."

Oh crap, I did it again! Dooooooooooooooom is coming.

Oh crap, I posted and made this katamari thread bigger.

Ignoring for a moment the consequences of feeding Cosmo's ego, what about the despair and depression that poor James J, James S, Jason, and Wes will suffer when this rapidly growing thread overtakes their own?

Will a Cosmo fit in a pokeball?

I'm sure there's a rational explanation for the black-eyed children showing up on a stranger's doorstep. Maybe they just got away from the sitter while their mommy was in the hospital?

You may want to talk to your DM, and see if he/she would allow the Enruned Great Weapon Magus Arcana, from the 3rd Party Publisher Super Genius Games, or perhaps later, its greater version, instead of trying to wield these weapons one-handed.

You can also use the Greatweapon Spell Combat feat/option in Might of the Magus.

Non-sequitur: Everytime I see The Crimson Masque written, my brain instead automatically reads it as The Crimson Macaque.

I'm tempted to compose a rant about people who spend an inordinate amount of time repeatedly expounding on how upset they are that other people get so easily upset... but I'm afraid this may cause one of those pesky "divide by zero" errors that Uncle Xanxost warned me about. Still, I am tempted.

None of my players are homosexual. All of them are Christian. All of them are good people who oppose discrimination based upon sexual orientation(one of them is on a school board opposing such things), but none of them believe that homosexual marriage should be condoned. All of us think that marriage is more than just pleasure, we see it as a bond between a man and a woman, instituted as a sacrament by God. So while we oppose violence, hate, or denial of equal human rights, we are not proponents of gay marriage.

Yes, but you do understand that many Christian denominations (and non-Christian religions) are fine with same-sex relationships, especially monogamous ones that lead to marriage. Heck, most Roman Catholics in the United States support same-sex marriage and equality even when their church hierarchy does not.

"Good Christians" doesn't universally mean opposition to same-sex marriage and LGBT equality.

thejeff wrote:

If all the couples or potential couples or even casual encounters are heterosexual, that shows how you handle homosexuality. You deny it.

I'm sure I'm taking this out of context, but I'm somewhat nonplussed by that remark.

I don't think I've ever included a homosexual relationship in my games, but I also do think I've ever included raisins. Lots of different foods, but it's entirely possible raisins have never come up. Does that mean I'm in denial of raisins?

Seriously. I'm confused.

I'm sure you're fine. It's like spiders... generally, unless you live in arctic conditions, you're within 3 feet of at least one spider your entire life. Normally, this never comes up, but that doesn't mean the spiders aren't there, just that in the context of the game no one thinks about it. So no one is saying you're in denial about spiders, or that you're spiderphobic.

There's probably a half dozen spiders watching you right now.

Quietly.

Patiently.

Hungrily.

THIS UNIT HAILS FROM AXI...MAELSTROM

THIS UNIT HAILS FROM AXIMAELSTROM. IT IS PLEASINGLY CHAOTIC

Ah, I have AxiMaelstrom's last album, Tanar'ri Democracy. It really isn't anywhere near as good as Amuse-Bouche Your Illusionist, Part 1 & 2.

Maybe you all need better hats. I rock this fez.

As a GM, pretty much anything beyond mild flirting between NPC and PC, or PC and PC, is simply fade-to-black/off-screen, regardless if it is hetero or gay. As time permits, you might pop over to the long Homosexuality in Golarion thread for how other GMs/players ideas handle it (as well as some plot hooks).

My best advice is to ask your players and work out something that everyone at the table is comfortable with.

I often find that when work piles up, nothing cuts through it like a professional badger. While I'm sure Mordimor is excellent, even he must have limits. Maybe you need to add a second badger too? ;)

I'm Ambrosia Slaad, and I approve this message.

As a native Floridian, the general consensus is that we can't have all these damn drones clogging the skies. Tourism is paramount, and that includes extraterrestrials too... it's hard enough keeping inebriated dudebro E.T.s from crashing into the tens of thousands of trailer parks as it is; drones will just be one more thing for them to run into.

As for fear of drones, worry not. Ya gotta remember these are Florida drones, with a middle-school education at best and barely able to find Florida on a map, not some edumacated M.I.T./Cyberdyne drones. Think less Schwarzenegger drones, and more 'Mater/Larry the Cable Guy (which is still horrifying, just for completely different reasons). As long as ya'll start building that wall along the southern border of Georgia, Alabama, and Louisiana, you should be able to keep 'em quarantined down here. If any of the nerdier drones makes it over the wall, just aim for the truck nuts on it for a guaranteed bullseye.

As for you, Arizona, we've just outmaneuvered and outcrazied you yet again. Bishop to King 7, I believe.

...Also, 'Were and 'where' are not homophones and the H represents the small aspiration.

Everyone I have heard pronounces the T in 'cents' too, and won/one is nobody's idea of a homophone. So we're left with there/their/they're and a knotty problem... chwarae teg...

{sips free coffee, stands in front of room of strangers} Hello, my name is Ambrosia... and... and.. I'm homophonbic!

{finishes up munching on platter of frogs legs} Hoo-mahns are big on "do as they say, not as they do."

That's the main course: cheez-its covered in spray-cheese, dunked in cheeto-dust infused tempura batter, fried, and served with queso dip for dunking.

"And what happened then...? Well...in the Maelstrom they say
That the Slaad's poor arteries grew three times harder that day!"

I dunno, some players and GMs are awful protective of their favorite settings. It wouldn't surprise me if some took it to the extreme of using setting sourcebooks/notes as gunpowder-propelled projectiles directed at other, less reverent players... "Fire THE CANON!" <BOOM!>

"Dear James Jacobs, What is the crit range/multiplier on the Inner Sea hardcover?"

I made Brownies once with a Golem Manual... little f#%$ers went crazy when I accidentally shocked one from the static electricity in the carpet. I had to eventually hire a band of kleptomaniac-murder-Girl Scouts to destroy them all. Do you have any idea how much level-appropriate gold buys in cookies? I never could eat them all, so I ended up using them as roof shingles and siding repairing the house.

The next day, these two little bottomless-stomached orphans (Hansel? Hansel?!) show up and start eating all my repair work... Oy vey! It just went downhill from there...

{opens thread. reads...}

Nope! {closes thread}

@Sara Marie: Do you just spend all day hunting these down or just lucky to be in the optimal location to overhear everything?

Sara Marie is just a catalyst for Awesome.

I'd recommend you/he keep an eye on the latest Wayfinder thread(s) when they call for artists to illustrate submissions. It's a great way to gain exposure, and 3PPs are always looking for talented artisits who can deliver on time.

Jessica So, I'm thinking a giant one would probably be like CR 9 billion.

Sean About on par with a tarrasque swarm, yes.

Hah! I statted up a butterfrog-mantis shrimp crossbreed a little while back. Hopefully, it'll be in the upcoming Butterfrog book, or maybe a web enhancement release.

Potato Slaad wrote:

applies generous amounts of cold magic to thread, then skates across the surface

Snorts up the cold magic like an over-powered hoover

{has a Modern Problems flashback}

I want to read more about this place and the flying pink unicorns that s!$* rainbows and vomit skittles and which must roam its pleasantly policed and beautifully maintained streets.

Alrighty then, Mr. Turner, I've got you down for a 6AM-12PM brain wash-, er, cult indoctrin-, er, friendly conversation with a couple of Sebastian's Witnesses. Afterward, you'll never waver in your commitment to Sparklemotion ever again.

Well, it's slower than the speed of Stupid (nothing is faster than Stupid), but it exceeds the velocity of an unladen grue (both European and African varieties).

Humans are trapped in this solar system

Trapped? Technically, no: the Intergalactic CDC quarantined the Earth to keep the Hoo'Mahn contagion from spreading. Dolphins are immune and free to travel off-planet, as are multidimensional beings posing as lab mice.

...how to terraform entire planets like Mars...

Mars is due next year for a flyby with a big ball of ice... we should be figuring out how to built a rocket to intercept that comet (and future comets) and knock it into Mars as a down-payment on terraforming the planet.

.

Tiny Coffee Golem wrote:

This is why liches and constructs (like me) are superior. "Boo hoo. I need to breathe." Bla bla bla. Whatever.

Don't forget outsiders!

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{reads from notecard using voiceover voice} The comedic prop stylings and improv skits of Chazuzu will appear at Beelzebub's Left Teats, in Dis, on the second week of Gozran. The week after, he is scheduled to co-host the 993rd annual Jerry Parker-Lewis Damnation Day Telethon with Colin Mochrie, and the first of Erastus he'll premiere in his first comedy show on Hell Box Office... so be sure to set the TiVos on your scrying devices!

{divides by 2x4} Hassan-CHOP!

Oladon wrote:

Sara Marie wrote:

jessica: I do remember having to sign in blood, which I thought was odd at the time

There are times she wouldn't think it odd?

Well, sometimes you just don't have a pen handy ...

And it's really not that big a deal for the signer if it isn't their own blood.

Does this mean one of the interns is the "designated inkwell"? Do they get juice and a cookie after a contract-signing session?

Saw Looper yesterday.

Some of my friends had been real time-travel snobs about it, but I thought it was pretty killer. A-. Better than Prometheus, not as good as 12 Monkeys.

My only real problem with Looper was the weird make-up they made Joseph Gordon-Levitt wear.

Now I want to meet the Pope just to say "Lighten up, Francis."