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Blue Slaad

Slaad-Barr's page

RPG Superstar 2014 Dedicated Voter. Pathfinder Society Member. 56 posts (10,371 including aliases). 8 reviews. 1 list. 1 wishlist. 1 Pathfinder Society character. 106 aliases.

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2 people marked this as a favorite.

Stansfield: Bring me everyone.

Stansfield cohort: What do you mean "everyone"?

Stansfield: EVERYONE!!!

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Well, you could always attach smoke bombs to them, light them, and fly over a meeting of a chem-trail conspiracy group.

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Readerbreeder wrote:
Katina Mathieson wrote:
Ashley: fake spiders are a great way to get a place accidentally burnt down
My three daughters would agree with you; in fact, for them anything with more than four legs is adequate cause for arsonous behavior. How do you get someone to stop being terrified of something 1/10,000 your size?

"I have such wonderful, wonderful things... to show you..." Mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha!

2 people marked this as a favorite.

It's too bad Freehold isn't on Facebook, or he'd know the big (awesome) news. [/vagueposting]

4 people marked this as a favorite.
Nocte ex Mortis wrote:
Now we need to know what kind of language lessons the succubus has undergone.

Must... resist... {roll for Will save: (1d20 - 3 - 4 ⇒ (10) - 3 - 4 = 3) against DC 17 = Failure} (Oh well, I tried.)

At St Trinian's, succubi receive several years of extensive one-on-one and group lessons to become cunning linguists. :D

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Fergie wrote:

Just recently discovered that one of my pet rats had a little botfly infestation. The first symptom we noticed was a inch+ long larva emerging from the poor little guys belly. The vet said they don't really damage the host, but it sure freaked me out!

I never knew that the Alien movies were based on reality.

{sniffs, dabs away tears} Baby stories are so cute!

Hey, would you like an egg of your very own, Fergie? You should see how adorable baby slaadings are.

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Celestial Healer wrote:
This sounds especially dirty if you are familiar with the usage of "otter" to refer to a hairy-but-thin gay man.

Ha! I learned something new today.

The More You Know ☆彡

3 people marked this as a favorite.
Scintillae wrote:
I mean, I am no ornithologist, but I'm at least 75% certain that strep throat is not a species of bird native to the southern Midwest.

Not yet, but I'm sure Dr. FrankenBadger will get to it eventually. ;)

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Ugh. Bearings were going out in the power steering pump on the car, despite only having 52K miles on it. Replaced it for $88, thankfully I could bumble through it myself instead of taking it somewhere for a couple hundred bucks or more.

I blame Cosmo for the lack of funds to buy more Paizo products.

I also blame Cosmo that I'm running out of ways to make rice and beans even moderately palatable.

2 people marked this as a favorite.
gran rey de los mono wrote:

Any of you creative types want an alternate history for Dwarves? I've got the start of one based off some weird ramblings from a campaign I was in a few years ago.

Dwarves were originally arboreal. Their beards were prehensile and they used them to do almost everything. Swing from tree to tree. Pick fruit, nuts, and berries. Cuddle their young. This is why they are short, they used their beards to do pretty much everything, only using arms and legs when absolutely necessary so they atrophied. Then the Elves came along and were mad because they didn't like seeing the majestic herds of Dwarves, sometimes thousands in number, gracefully brachiating through the woods. So, they worked some deep magic and caused all of the Dwarves' beards to go flaccid, forcing them to again use their stunted arms and legs. This, of course, explains the deep-seated hatred between the two races. Eventually, the Dwarves could no longer stand living beneath the beloved trees they used to roost in lovingly, and migrated to the mountains. The Elves likely helped them in this move by driving out of the best forests. After moving to the mountains, the Dwarves were still heartbroken by the sight of their beloved woods far below them, so to try and drive the memories from their dreams they started digging into the ground. It helped a little, so they dug deeper and deeper. Even now, millenia later, all Dwarves still feel the need to swing by their beards through the great woodlands of the world, but alas, they cannot. There are still Dwarves (wizards, clerics, and such) who are working on a way to undo the curse laid upon them by the pointy-eared Elven bastards, but none have come close to finding the answer.

It was a very weird campaign in which this theory (which was not true in the setting) was created.

Bah, that doesn't jive wit' wha' me pappy said.

Edit: Although your idea makes me picture a tribe of dwarven were-sloths majestically swinging throu-


{watches immobile were-sloths, taps foot impatiently}

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I can't wait to see these installed in the new 2024 Ford Fusions and Chevrolet Cobalt Bombs.

4 people marked this as a favorite.
Liz Courts wrote:
Katina: Metaphorical pants.

...Plus a sharp simile shirt, an amazing allegorical ascot cap, and an obnoxiously-overweening onomatopoeic overcoat.

This advertisement paid for by Bulwer-Lytton Florid Fashions.

1 person marked this as a favorite.



1 person marked this as a favorite.
Samuel F. B. Morse wrote:
..-. / .- / --.-

... -- .- .-. - -....- .- ... ... .-.-.-

4 people marked this as a favorite.

I blame SCTV Tim Hortons Shatner Cosmo for Canadians.

That's right, Cosmo manipulated Earth history to found Canada—beginning with the lost Viking "explorer", Ostog the Over-inebriated—using his stolen SEGMIST (Schadenfreude, Ennui, and General Misery In SpaceTime) X-7 Dimensionizer time booth (currently stuck in appearance as an office cubicle due to a damaged doppelgänger circuit).

{sigh} I blame Cosmo that no one believes me.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I blame Cosmo for Billy Bass, truck nuts, and the "Calvin peeing" stickers.

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Mythic JMD031 wrote:

I don't know, it kind of looks like a puma.

I blame Cosmo for Griff making up words.

EET'S NOT AH TUMA PUMA! Eeuauaughhhuauaahh!

Ah blahm Kozmoh fur hee's buuk, Hoo tu Speek Ingleesh zee Gohvenatur's Vey.

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Tels wrote:

I was playing Destiny on Xbox One and some friends were talking and I wasn't really paying attention, but I heard someone say, "You know, it kind of looks like a big cat."

My mind *clicked* and I immediately responded with, "What, like a puma?" and waited...

and waited...

And no one got it :(

I blame Cosmo.

I don't get it either. I also blame Cosmo.

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Ipslore the Red wrote:
Succubi are capable of shifting into any Small or Medium humanoid RAW, with no restriction on their sex.

So, if the succubus shifts into a sexy four-armed kasatha, she gets a bonus to grapple checks?

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I haven't bothered to put my contacts in today (I'm nearsighted), and I've had the TV on in the background on one of the PBS channels. I happen to look up during one of the cooking shows and (fuzzily) saw Mick Fleetwood speaking with an Italian accent as he prepared a grilled asparagus salad.

Rationally, I know he wasn't Mick Fleetwood. However, I will blame Cosmo that Mick has done so many drugs that I might be hallucinating him.

3 people marked this as a favorite.
thejeff wrote:
OTOH, "It's just a few bad apples" is the perennial cry of corrupt organizations throughout history.

Many who use the "It's just a few bad apples" saying forget the "spoils the whole barrel" part. Yeah, you may start off with a barrel of perfect apples and only one or two bad. But if the bad apples aren't removed quickly, they will spoil/infect their neighbor apples, and pretty soon the whole barrel is rotten.

I'm not picking a side in the thread; I'm just posting to quibble about that particular phrase's use in general. :)

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Oooo, a Dr. FrankenBadger adventure unlocks at $66K!

3 people marked this as a favorite.
Liranys wrote:
I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:

Anyways, something else A DM Can Put In A Dungeon To Totally Mess With Players:

A working model train set, running throughout the whole of the dungeon!

Make it one of those train sets that are actually big enough to ride on and put a goblin tour guide in the last car and you have yourself something pretty funny :)

Make the goblin on the caboose flailing his arms in panic, while a kobold perches on the cowcatcher and assembles the track just ahead of the running train. (Murderous penguin thief optional.)

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Hmmm, a haunted bed & breakfast with a romantic carriage ride pulled by ghostly horses?

"Ustalav Is for Ustalovers"

1 person marked this as a favorite.

It could be worse. That bird poop that just landed on you could actually be a spider in disguise. Who then conks you on the head with a handy brick to steal your wallet and lay spider eggs in your ear canals. Who then hatch and play the song of their people on your eardrums.

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Game Master Scotty wrote:
I blame Cosmo that I only understand one of the words written by the acolyte, and I have to go to bed, so won't know what they mean until morning.

I blame Cosmo that I use fancy words to bolster my flagging self-esteem.

schadenfreude: [German] Satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else's misfortune.

litost: [Czech] A state of agony and torment created by the sudden sight of one's own misery.

toska: [Russian] "No single word in English renders all the shades of toska. At its deepest and most painful, it is a sensation of great spiritual anguish, often without any specific cause. At less morbid levels it is a dull ache of the soul, a longing with nothing to long for, a sick pining, a vague restlessness, mental throes, yearning. In particular cases, it may be the desire for somebody of something specific, nostalgia, love-sickness. At the lowest level it grades into ennui, boredom." - Vladmir Nabokov

torschlusspanik: [German, literally "gate-closing panic"] The fear of diminishing opportunities as one ages and death approaches.

fremdschämen: [German] Embarrassment felt on behalf of someone else (often someone so ignorant to what they have done that they don't know that they should be embarrassed for themselves); vicarious embarrassment.

(I assume you already know what a smörgåsbord is.)

1 person marked this as a favorite.

You might keep an eye peeled (ouch) for the next time Creighton launches another "Broken Freelancers" contest. LRGG is currently running a Non-Traditional Races contest. We all know Paizo's next APs are Giant Slayer and Hell's Rebels, so start brainstorming/developing/writing ideas that would fit either one or the other, and then pitch a polished hook(s) to 3PPs who will likely be launching similarly-themed projects near the same time.

You might also branch out into editing. I know it pays even less than freelance writing/developing, but good editors are essential. And it's a foot in the door.

Good luck!

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I blame Cosmo that only one other has blamed Cosmo since Monday afternoon.

I blame Cosmo that the other Paizonians keep forgetting that a only a steady smörgåsbord of schadenfreude, litost, disillusionment, toska, torschlusspanik, and fremdschämen (amongst others) is what stays his descent and feasting upon all our souls.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

If you don't propitiate Cosmo with your Offering of Blame, he'll only hit you with bigger poop next time. Or even the whole bird.

I blame Cosmo for Jiggy not understanding how blame works.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Don't mind me, just doing maintenance. {squirts Cosmo's Old-Fashioned Robot Oil into the server blades}

3 people marked this as a favorite.

Could we take the slippery slope discussion elsewhere, maybe? Please?

3 people marked this as a favorite.

938. Good Eats You are constantly driven to sample the most forbidden of delicacies. At least once per day, you are compelled to discreetly ingest some small portion of another intelligent sentient. Often you can get by with nibbling the surreptitiously gathered clippings of your fellow party members' hair or fingernails, or retreating to the solitude of your camp tent to suck the discarded used bandages from your comrades' wounds. A stealthy lick of your blade after gutting the enemy goblinoids... a camp stew that includes a handful of ground skeleton bone powder or jerkied zombie flesh or fresh vegepygmy foliage... your hunger requires it, and judging by the brief shivers of delight you experience, your soul is nourished by it. When you dream, you experience new and alien sensations, figments of memories and life from those who temporarily sated you.

7 people marked this as a favorite.
Yuugasa wrote:
Kelsey Arwen MacAilbert wrote:
I'm not bisexual, so I admittedly lack the full perspective on what's going on, but it seems to me that bisexuals are generally getting more bigoted crap from lesbians and gays than us trans people are. Why do people pull out that crap like how bis are either gay or straight, or dating the opposite sex means you are straight, or that bis are untrustworthy, or that dating the opposite sex is treasonous? I've seen all of this from the mouths of gays and lesbians, and I can't help but wonder what the hell their problem is.
I've actually been on the receiving end of this recently, I'm not sure what it is about exactly. What I've picked up on so far is that somehow being bi is inherently threatening to certain gay men and women and it seems to be the same people whose sexual identity and "team" are of greater than normal importance to them. Maybe we are seen as infiltrators or wishy washy dabblers or something?

Primates love social hierarchies. Even the ones near the bottom of the social ladder often attempt to feel better by exerting authority over the few beneath them. I confess that in high school, I was pretty far down the ladder, and I often tried to take it out on those even less popular than me. I figured out what I'd been doing once I had graduated, but it was too late to prevent the psychological damage I'm certain I contributed too; I haven't even been able to find them to apologize. I hate so many of the lessons I learned in school.

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Brief Intermission: The Philosophy of the Science of Poker

2 people marked this as a favorite.

I think the stale popcorn was composted to act as fertilizer to grow a mushroom retirement community for the ThreadSmurfs.

2 people marked this as a favorite.
aeglos wrote:

he said Papa !!!!

he said Papa !!!!!

twice !!!

Drejk wrote:

I don't want to worry you...

But PaPa in Polish means bye-bye... Is the dwarfling already planning on going away on adventures?

I'm sure the whole Aeglos clan is wary enough to keep any hobo grey wizards and hobbit burglars away.

1 person marked this as a favorite.
David M Mallon wrote:
Friend's birthday last night... I ended up going into low orbit with my bros Jack Daniels and Sam Adams. Re-entry was suboptimal.

As long as ghostly astronaut George Clooney didn't pop in with tips on re-entry, you did OK.

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Hmmm, the most difficult part is going to be keeping it within wordcount. :)

3 people marked this as a favorite.
Wiggz wrote:
... so what is it exactly being fought for? Legally fought for, I mean, since this is a legal case before the courts.

You should start with this list.

But legal recognition of same-sex marriage is hardly the end-all, be-all. Even more important is addressing individuals and organizations ability to legally discriminate against LGBT people for hiring, continued employment, housing, loans and banking access, higher education, reproductive services, and many more aspects that hetero-presenting individuals have had ready protection for decades, if not hundreds of years. This is why passage of ENDA is vitally important in guaranteeing equality. These are not "new" or "special" rights, but merely extending the same protections that the majority of U.S. citizens already possess.

5 people marked this as a favorite.

Orthos, Drejk, Rawr!, and any others: It is time.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Admit it, it's mostly just Xanxost and Waffles

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I blame Cosmo that Grumpy Old Cat won't come off the porch roof since Saturday.

2 people marked this as a favorite.

The 2e Planescape art for Xanxost the slaad

Waffles, and to a lesser extent, Rango, from the Rango animated movie

My Shadowrun hacker's (decker's) chameleon avatar

Slaan and the lizardfolk tribes from NWN2

Killer Croc from The Batman animated series and Slithe from the original Thundercats animated series

Reptilefolk specifically not tied to kobolds, dragonfolk, and dragons

1 person marked this as a favorite.

TOZ, you need to share with Kirth that contingency/wish that notifies you when your name is mentioned.

2 people marked this as a favorite.

I blame Cosmo for the high-Meh front settling over my particular area of the country.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

937. Glimpse Into Madness (aka You Look Like Whedon*) At least once per day, an NPC or PC will catch sight of you out of the corner of their eye... and be instantly stunned by a glimpse of gibber-inducing sanity-breaking horror. Once they blink, however, they once again perceive you as everyone else (and yourself) does, and the terrible image is completely erased from their memories.

Or seemingly erased. NPCs with accumulated exposure to you eventually begin to subconsciously avoid your presence without their knowing why. While you are away, your fellow party members begin to whisper of their indescribable unease behind your back... until you return, when they forget what they were even discussing, or how many times they've had this same conversation.

* Dr. Slaad hypothesizes that this may be what poor Freehold suffers from. ;)

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Jerbli Popular Liberation Front wrote:
[Fade to black, as Vivaldi's 'The Four Seasons' plays at deafening volume to cover up the horrific sound of goblin-on-goblin violence]

Join the United Goblinoid Army. We do more killing before 9AM than most murder hobos do all day.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

{sings (badly):}
Because every die is sacred. ♫
Every roll is great. ♭
If a 20 is wasted, ♪
The GM gets quite irate. ♬

Excerpt from Monty Anklebiter's The Meaning of Role-Playing

2 people marked this as a favorite.

And that's why we need to ENDA to pass, one with protections for LGB&T (F!&* you Barney Frank & HRC) and without huge religious exemptions (F%@# you 5 Supremes, Hobby Lobby, Conestoga, & the rest).

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