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So a player in a game that I am also in took 1 swift action and 2 immediate actions in one turn for saving throws...etc, and I called him on it. He then said "You are purposefully trying to kill my character." and got angry at me for "rule lawyering him to kill him."
Note that I do the same thing to myself, having to look something up after my turn was done and wasn't sure, even if it was not beneficial to myself and speaking up about it. Including anyone else that isn't aware or playing the game correctly.
Should I just shut up and let people do whatever and let them bend the rules to their favor?
You are the BEST KIND ON RULES LAWYER. The impartial one. The one who questions his/her own accounting of the rules as well as others. I can't remember all of the rules of this game so I rely on the more rules saavy members of my table and I'm fortunate to have at least two players like yourself who correct me when I'm wrong and who hold each other accountable at the table.
My advice is no, DON'T silence yourself. Present the rules as they should be if you see otherwise but then let the DM/GM be the final arbiter.