Sharinda's page

"Thank you Sharinda," Karrin says, her spoon into the ice cream almost before it's placed in front of her, "um could I get one glass of Grog? I asked earlier but I think you were on your way back to the kitchens."

Sharinda starts

"oh luv I am sorry! It clear flew outta my brainbox what with the blue sprites, time travellers and smelly men hitting on me lately. I fetch yeh a fresh grog in one second!"

Sharinda hurries off

F$%king Slaad post monster is eating my f$%king threads again! GRR repost:

Sharinda appears from the kitchens with several large plates balanced precariously on her small shoulder. She dishes them out to several patrons before arriving at the table. She places several pieces of cherry pie with vanilla ice cream in front of the companions.

"Here you go cutters. I brought a little pie fer everyone. Oh, and Mitchifer found this in the cellars.'

Sharinda places a dusty bottle on the tabletop. The faded label reads in archaic Common Gallifrey Tawny Port Reserve. The bottle looks impressively old. Sharinda produces three glasses, one thimble sized for the diminutive blue sprite.

Sharinda appears from the kitchens with several large plates balanced precariously on her small shoulder. She dishes them out to several patrons before arriving at the table. She places several pieces of cherry pie with vanilla ice cream in front of the companions.

"Here you go cutters. I brought a little pie fer everyone. Oh, and Mitchifer found this in the cellars.'

Sharinda places a dusty bottle on the tabletop. The faded label reads in archaic Common Gallifrey Tawny Port Reserve. The bottle looks impressively old. Sharinda produces three glasses, one thimble sized for the diminutive blue sprite.

Sharinda beams at the enthusiastic Tiefling

"Right. Be right back with it then."

Sharinda bustles off in a swirl of bright-colored skirts.

Sharinda looks at Saurig

"I think we have some a' that bub somewheres. Some Guvners from some backwater Prime world named Brytannius or summat like that usedta come here for drinks and cigars; they always ordered it. I'll ask Mitchifer if he has a bottle left."

Sharinda smiles at Karrin.

"Thanks luv. It's always nice to be appreciated. I'll bring yeh an extra-big slice and some more ice cream on top."

Sharinda hustles along the crowded tables, dispensing food and drink to the various patrons at her table. She arrives again at our heroes' table and takes in the newcomer.

"Greetings sir, would yeh be wanting something to eat or drink? "

She glances at Traveller Smurf

"Oh. Yer back again sprite. Another flower nectar? "

Sharinda's expression softens when she looks at Karrin

"Yeh good luv? Plenty of pie and ice cream left if yeh want it."

Sharinda looks fondly at the young Tiefling

"I glad you like it luv, there's plenty more if you want."

Sharinda returns with another platter of tucker for the hungry tiefling girl. She spreads out the plates with the expertise of many years and stands back. Freshly-fried lambchops smoke on one plate, a bowl of buttery-yellow mashed potatoes sit in another. A thick slice of cherry pie sits under a scoop of some creamy cold delicacy.

"There yeh go luv. Anything else? I brought you some cherry pie and vanilla ice cream. Yeh might not have had the ice cream before, it's tough to keep frozen, but it's worth it."

Sharinda clears off the empty plates and the platter of Baatorian Rock Octopus tentacles.

"I'll bring you some more lamb chops and mashed taters luv."

Sharinda hurries off.

Sharinda shakes her head as Vik exits

"Yeh'd think yeh would've seen everything possible working in this place. I need a vacation." Sharinda mutters softly

Sharinda looks at the group. she accepts Vik's jink with a smile as he tips generously

"Bye kind sir, stop by earlier than a few thousand years!"

Sharinda looks at the rapidy disappearring tucker on the table

"By Titania's hairweave! I think yeh'll be needing a little refresh miss. What are yeh in the mood fer?"

Sharinda bustles out to the table with a tray laden with a large silver teapot, half a dozen mugs, and a plate of small square cookies.

"Here yeh go my pet, just how yeh wanted it"

Sharinda beams at the newly-transformed Greep.

"We're gonna miss yeh around here, don't be a stranger."

Sharinda glances over at Vik.

"How's yer octopus? Good? Anything esle for the table?"

Sharinda looks around at the assembly

Sharinda looks at The Greep

"Yeh got the nerve up to ask Greep! Good fer yeh!"

Sharinda gives The Greep a quick squeeze

"Would yeh like some nice fish stew to celebrate luv? I'll fetch you a mug of Mitchifer's stout as well."

Sharinda chooses this moment to arrive out of the kitchens, carrying a large platter. The platter is covered with chitin-covered tentacles that are still feebly twitching, a greenish-sauce smokes on the reddish shells.

"Right. One platter of Baatorian Rock Octopus tentacles with Carceri Bitter Habanero Chile sauce for Mr. Adventurous."

Sharinda looks around.

"Oi! Where'd he go? An' where's the little blue guy?"

Sharinda looks over at the bleeding face of Karrin

"Tch. And such a pretty young thing too. Missy, if ye're wantin' some bloodsport there's always takers by the fighting pit. Just ramble through that archway back there and take a look around."

Sharinda hustles off

"All barmy ... I need to get back to Faerie for a vacation" Sharinda mutters under her breath

Sharinda hustles back to the table

"There you are my little man, one flower nectar."

Sharinda hands over a thimble-siled mug filled with a silvery liquid.

"Mitchifer weighed yer nugget. Yeh have a 6 drink tab, or 3 drinks and a meal."

Sharinda looks at the diminutive blue traveller

"Anything else?"

"I do have one of those shiny yellow rocks you big folk love so much, will that pay for a drink?"

Sharinda reaches for the nugget. She examines it and then drops it in her apron pocket.

"That'll do sprite, that'll do. One thimble of flower nectar coming up. Try not to spill anything more while I'm gone."

Sharinda hurries off

"The curry was fantastic. I would like something that is disgusting but not lethal please, the food of an unusual species, if you keep any on the premises. And another pale ale."

Sharinda grins at Vik.

"I'm sure if yeh're startin' a scary foods contest I can accommidate yeh. One selection of weird foods and a pale ale coming up."

Sharinda frowns back down at the bedraggled blue interloper.

"Made up yer mind bluey? Yeh look like a troublemaking sprite straight out of the Unseelie Court, you do. A thimble of flower nectar perhaps? An' none of yer 'maple leaves to gold' glammers neither when it comes to payin'. They don't work here."

Sharinda, hearing her name, starts to make her way back to the table just in time to see the tiny blue man's dramatic cannonball.

"What in the name of Oberon's gouty toe ..."

Sharinda quickens the pace, snagging a dish bucket as she comes.

"Here now little feller, this place is a tavern not a swimming hole. "

Sharinda begins to attempt to blot up the spilled water and collect the chicken bones and other scattered debris.

"Tsk. Look at this mess."

Sharinda looks over at Vik.

"Did yeh need summat else sir? How's the curry?"

Sharinda looks down at the tiny blue man's shivering form.

"Well, are you orderin' something small, blue and drippy?"

Sharinda arrives at the prone form of Eir. She puts down a large stoneware mug with aromatic vapors rising from it

"There yeh go luv. That should get the collywobbles out."

Sharinda makes the rounds of her tables, dispensing food and bub until she gets to Karrin's side.

"Here's yer curry ducks, eat hearty."

She puts another plate by Renkar and a bottle of wine with a balloon glass. a large plater of gently steaming Naan bread is placed between them.

"There yeh go sir. That's a white wine from the power Yondalla's own vineyards on Celestia. Mitchifer sends his compliments and says the letter of credit is approved."

Sharinda looks around

"Anything else before I go off again?"

Sharinda?"

<coughs>

"Coffeeeeeeeeeee," Eir groans from her lonely table at the back.

Sharinda veers off her trajectory towards the kitchen with her latest round of requests and bustles up to the slumped form of Eir.

"Aww ducks, you look like yeh had a wee too much of the creature."

Sharinda pats Eir's back gently

"No worries luv. Mitchifer brews a special cup of coffee can bring the dead back to life. I'll fetch yeh a good mug of it on me way back. You just rest there."

Sharinda hustles off to the kitchens

Well I probably shouldn't" Karrin says looking over at the food, "but then again I could always skip desert. Maybe just a small plate and some of that flat bread."

Sharinda scribbles a last note down

"All right ducks, I'll be right back with yer orders. Sir kobold? you good with those eggs?"

Sharinda finishes scribbling down Renkar's order

"All right sir, one plate of lamb curry and some white wine. Everyone else set? "

Sharinda looks over at Karrin

"Any of that lamb curry for you ducks?"

Sharinda looks at Vik, Ashura and Serpico

"You cutters good for now?"

The small form of Sharinda darts back through the busy tables, dishing drinks and snacks to various patrons. Halting in front of Vik, she begins putting out several dishes with a savory smell.

"There you go luv, one lamb curry, some Naan bead, a pale ale. I brought a crock of some mango chutney in case yer one of those what likes it."

Sharinda takes in the new arrival.

"Anything else? Something for yeh to drink sir?"

Sharinda looks around the table

"Anyone else need a refresher?"

"Lamb curry please," he shouts to Sharinda as she bellows an alarm, "and pale ale."

After seeing Phoebus take control of the situation, Sharinda recovers her poise quickly

"No worries luv. Some lamb curry, a pale ale and some warm naan bread coming right up for yeh."

Sharinda bustles off towards the kitchen, muttering softly

"Why do the barmies always show up on my shift?"

"Oh my yes, I have an aunt like this myself, although she weighs about 500 lbs. May I ask good lady if the establishment can prepare foods with the spice known as curry?"

"Sure can, luv ... did yeh have something in mind? I could get the kitchen to do a nice lamb curry and ..."

At this moment, Smokey decides to bolt the foul drink down

"Bye meatcheeks," he says to Sharinda "Thanks for the drink."

Sharinda's face loses all color as the rancid gnome chugs the fizzing greenish liquid down .

"By the Queen of Air and Darkness!"

Sharinda yells out across the room "Phoebus!"

Sharinda, still waiting to call for medics if Smokey actually gets up the courage to quaff the Bloody Apocalypse, notices the newcomer at the table

"Welcome, cutter. Will yeh be needin' any food or bub?"

Sharinda starts gathering up the emptied plates in front of Karrin.

"Always like to see a bint with a healthy appetite." Sharinda beams

"Yer cute. ... How about I give you 20 g.p., I drink this down all-at-once like, and you rename it the 'Smokey Bogwash' because 'Bloody Apocalypse' is a silly ass name but it looks like smoky bogwash and ... and I'm Smokey Bogwash and ...and ... " Smokey trails off as the fumes begin to effect him. After staring into the fog coming off the drink like a fortuneteller seeing the destruction of worlds in her crystal ball, he comes back to this surreality with a start declaring resolutely: "And I'm the one who's going to drink it!!"

Sharinda pockets the proferred 20 gold pieces

"I don't name 'em, I just serve 'em. Yeh gotta swallow the frozen larva chunk to truly experience the drink handsome."

Sharinda leans towards O.L.L.I and whispers in his ear

" Yeh wouldn't have some poison curing magic on hand would you? I didn't think he'd be barmy enough ta drink that swill. I wuz gonna serve it to yer devil friend when he balked."

A train of three small serving wenches emerge from the kitchens laden down with platters of food and mugs of various liquid concoctions. They bustle up to the table and begin to dispense heaping platters of seared lamb chops, crocks of butter-laced mashed potatoes, piles of fragrant steamed green beans, a mountain of melted-cheese garnished nachos, mounds of sauce-sticky chicken wings, golden deep-fried curly fries, salt-kissed briny pickles, a full round of crumbly blue-veined cheese, a still-warm loaf of freshly baked bread, a crock of fresh churned butter, a pitcher of water with lemon slices swirling in it, a bowl of assorted eggs of various sizes, and condiments galore.

Sharinda supervises the operation, and starts dispensing the libations to the party.

"Here ya go ducks, one pitcher of grog, one Medium Clockwork Oil, one glass of grain alcohol, and a special drink for Romeo."

Sharinda turns to Smokey and hands him a large glass. The drink is greenish, and fulminates slightly, emitting a faintly nauseous fog. A hunk of frozen something floats in the noxious fluid, looking like a chunk of an eviscerated grub of enormous size with a miniature humanoid head frozen in a grimace of agony.

"One Bloody Apocalypse, probably the foullest drink we serve. Course it doesn't hold a candle to you handsome. That'll be 7 gold if ya please."

Sharinda puts her small hand out to Smokey in anticipation of payment.

"Ya serve poison? I thinks this is my kinda place. I'll take the vilest, gutrotting, cowspew that ya've got and keep it coming," says Smokey leering.

"I've got just tha thing fer yeh. Be right back with yer food folks."

Sharinda hustles off towards the kitchens

"Ya, Shortey. Yer kinda cute. Have ya got a little gnome in ya? ... No? Wuddya like one? ... hehehhe."

Sharinda turns to see a scruffy little unwashed gnome standing behind her with a case of halitosis that could murder a Vrock at 50 feet.

"Oi! Like I need pesterin' from the likes a' yeh while I'm workin'!"

Sharinda rounds on Smokey, her jolly face clouding and fire dancing in her violet-colored eyes.

"Yeh need a drink yeh orders one nicely. Yeh wanna get cute wi' me I gots a nice friend named Phoebus over there might have a word wi' ye."

Sharinda points to the crowded bar, where a large lizardman sits, scanning the crowd while drinking what looks to be water. The lizardman is dressed in very smart-looking gear, and carries several strange and potent-looing artifacts about his person.

"So what's yer poison, berk?" Sharinda inquires sweetly

"I'm getting kinda hungry actually, better bump that mug up to a pitcher, and make those chops full platers plz . . . oh and bring some bread and butter, one loaf?" Karrin asks the table, as if to see if anyone else is going to want some, "oh and some water and some pickles maybe some mustard . . ." Karrin snatches up the wedge of cheese and somehow manages to jam the entire thing into her mouth, "an moor -eese -ez."

Sharinda's quill flies frantically over her foolscap.

"Eggss. Raw eggss."

Serpico looks around to see who is going to snatch food away from him. But not this time.

"And, and fire water. Men drinks fire water. Whatever that is." He adds proudly.

Sharinda finishes writing up the order.

"Right. Pitcher of grog, extra large lamb chop platter, loaf of bread, crock of butter, pickles, mustard, more Kirgalian Blue, Grain Alcohol and some raw eggs. Also a Medium Grade Clockwork Oil and the appetizers you wanted."

Sharinda looks up, plants her fists on her ample hips and looks around the table

"I'm gon'ta need ta see some jink to settle up the tab so far cutters."

Sharinda scribbles furiously

"Allright luv, that's lamb chops, mashed potatoes, and green beans fer the dinner. Also two more wing orders, cheesy nachos and curly fries with Efreeti's Tears on the side. Also one mug of grog. Anyone else?"

Sharinda's small form waltzes up to the crowded table. Taking in the ravenous customers, she pauses.

"You cutters need anything else? More wings? Nachos? We have some nice lamb chops fer the special today if yer hungry fer more than appetizers."

Sharinda takes in the empty mugs

"Anyone need a fresh drink?"

A large silver plate seems to levitate through the crowded bar area, laden with various platters of food and assorted drinks. As the plate makes its' way towards where Ashura and Karrin sit, the 3' tall form of Sharinda becomes visible underneath it. Coming to an abrupt halt before their table, she begins placing heaping platters of buffalo wings and cheese-drenched nachos before Karrin.

"There you go luv, one cheesy nacho platter with jalapenos and salsa and Buffalo wings with a side of Bytopian Crimson Kick hot sauce. "

Sharinda places one more platter down that has another bowl of reddish sauce and a wedge of blue-veined cheese

"Since you couldn't decide which sauce would be best I brought out a bowl of Efreeti's Tears in case the Bytopian Crimson Kick doesn't do it for yeh. The cheese is Kirgalian Blue, lotsa folks like the taste with the Buffalo wings."

Sharinda hauls up her depleted plate and makes her way towards her next table.

Karrin then mumbles to herself "sounds like a bad martial arts move." As she slumps back in her seat to show her displeasure.

"Be right back with it."

Sharinda hustles off towards the kitchens, waiting until she's away from the table to roll her eyes

"Sigh ... teenagers " Sharinda mutters

"Do any of those burn human flesh?" Karrin asks, still leaning close, "Cuz some of my friends can't handle the really spicy foods and I might want to share. Also nothing poisonous plz."

Sharinda runs a cloth over a few puddles of ale that have collected on Karrin's table

"No worries luv. All them sauces are human-tolerable. Though they might burn yer tounge if you aint used to the hot stuff. You might want to start off with a milder one like Bytopian Crimson Kick. Still spicy, but not likely to sunburn yer insides."

Sharinda scribbles furiously into her notepad

"One Cheesy nacho platter with halapeno peppers and salsa and an order of buffalo wings with a side of hot sauce coming up."

Sharinda looks up

" Any preference on the hot sauce luv? For real hot ones we have Baatorian Scream, Efreeti's Tears, or Gehenna Lava."

"Has anyone seen the Barkeep? I want some nachos!"

A diminutive serving wench hustles over to Karrin

"Mitchifer had to step out luv. I can get you some nachos. Do you want plain, Ranch, Wild Beastland, or Lime and Elemental Salt?"