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RonarsCorruption's page

RPG Superstar 2013 Star Voter. Pathfinder Society Member. 770 posts (774 including aliases). 1 review. No lists. No wishlists. 1 Pathfinder Society character. 2 aliases.



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This book is already shaping up awesomely, I'm looking forward to having my printed copy - because it is going to hit print, let me tell you.

Star Voter 2013

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@ thrashling and the manservant mannequin - Thinking on it more, I think you could have fixed the 'kidnapping' loophole by making someone attune to the mannequin, instead of just strapping clothing to it, and then only the attuned creature can activate it. Using a term like attuning is so much better than using non-game terms like 'owner' or 'person who says the command word'.

http://paizo.com/threads/rzs2qkn9?2014-Critique-my-Wondrous-Item-thread#17
Taxonomist's Codex
Bit of an odd price. Don't forget that a pretty, slightly off price is better than a really exact one that just looks odd. That said, it's a neat item. The skill bonus isn't really wow, but I like that it grants a bonus against the creature to all allies. Problem, however, is you're vague about how activating the item works - you don't say until the end that people must be able to hear the reader for the effect. Also: you needlessly complicate things by saying the bonus only works against abilities that you already know about, making the really key power of this item really hard to understand.

http://paizo.com/threads/rzs2qkn9?2014-Critique-my-Wondrous-Item-thread#18
Cloak of the Shadow Twin
You use 'seems to' in the description. Don't, because it implies it does something different than that, which it doesn't. I like the effect you're going for, but your rules text is pretty awful. You're creating an effect that acts like this, except for that, and like the character, but it doesn't have x and does have y. Which makes things really complicated. Basically, this item requires too much bookkeeping.

http://paizo.com/threads/rzs2qkn9?2014-Critique-my-Wondrous-Item-thread#19
Tabard of Sanguine Symbiosis
I remember this one from voting! Neat visual, but there's way too many drawbacks for this to be really good, and the bookkeeping is a bit off, too. It's worthless until you've taken bleed damage for at least one round and you're still bleeding. Not nearly enough things do bleed damage to make this worthwhile, especially because the moment you stop bleeding the effect completely ends. And also, if you've been bleeding for one round you have DR 1/slashing, and three times a day can do 2 damage. (or up to DR 5 and do 10 damage) That's not worth even 1000gp, let alone 9.

http://paizo.com/threads/rzs2qkn9?2014-Critique-my-Wondrous-Item-thread#21
Sanguine Gem
You say "favored by", which shows you haven't read most of the advice available to you, which doesn't look professional on you at all. Negative levels for metamagic is interesting, but once you're high enough level you could cast a CL 39... Intensified, Empowered, Maximized whatever (finger of death is a good candidate - do 390 damage on a failed save), for the mere cost of 3,500gp and making a will save - which would be pretty darn high for you at those levels. Recharge mechanic could also be left out - as it will virtually never be triggered by a PC.

http://paizo.com/threads/rzs2qkn9?2014-Critique-my-Wondrous-Item-thread#22
Sibilant Sistrum
Really bad naming: you use an uncommon word and then proceed to inadequately describe what it is to the reader. I have no idea what physical thing this is. Requiring a DC 5 check to activate is silly - even someone untrained and with Cha 1 can make that check 55% of the time. Someone with 29kgp would never fail it. The rest of the effects are a little complex, too, and fall very close to the 'magic item works better for some characters than others' trap, which is also bad.

http://paizo.com/threads/rzs2qkn9?2014-Critique-my-Wondrous-Item-thread#25
Bracer of Forceful Restraint
Immediately brings to mind a prisoner-retention item, which isn't very exciting. The effect is a lot better than I was worried about, but I really don't like the take-damage-to-dimensionally-anchor-a-target bit. If that simply used extra charges instead, I could see this being in the top 32.

http://paizo.com/threads/rzs2qkn9?2014-Critique-my-Wondrous-Item-thread#26
Glove of Face Filching
Props on the name, that sounds like it will be awesome. As I've seen others say, it does feel off that it only steals the mouth, after the name says 'face'. While I like the penalties it gives, the benefits to the wearer seem really minimal, but lke other things, I've seen them already touched upon in this thread.

http://paizo.com/threads/rzs2qkn9?2014-Critique-my-Wondrous-Item-thread#31
Bloody Sheath of the Bravo
'Favored by'? Maurice, you know better. And, actually, your mechanical text is really clunky this year, too. You also refer to the sheathe's weilder several times as 'the bravo', which though implied by the item name, isn't a game term.

http://paizo.com/threads/rzs2qkn9?2014-Critique-my-Wondrous-Item-thread#32
Grips of the Drowning Dark
'Appear to be', mentioned above, don't use unless you immediately correct to what it actually is (and the new thing is way awesomer). I like the first power of the item, though the second seems a bit overpowered for the price. The last part of the effect seems a little too much of a downside to make me want to use it, however.

http://paizo.com/threads/rzs2qkn9?2014-Critique-my-Wondrous-Item-thread#33
Coat of the eternal vagabond
Don't all-caps your item name - that's a font thing, not a style thing. But anyways, the item isn't really exciting. Teleport randomly seems fun once, but I don't think it's really superstar. Just a fancy 'I escape!' option. And nobody really likes using an item they can't really control.

http://paizo.com/threads/rzs2qkn9?2014-Critique-my-Wondrous-Item-thread#37
Shears of the Hairless Hag
Fun name! Let's see... it's a little complicated. Can the target of this effect remove the magically grown hair? Taking Cha damage but using Int as a stat doesn't balance out well, and falls into the 'better effect for some than others' trap.

http://paizo.com/threads/rzs2qkn9?2014-Critique-my-Wondrous-Item-thread#42
Dust of Fantastical Terrain
It does what it says on the box, that's for sure. Unfortunately, nothing else. 'makes inanimate tiny things bigger'. You need more wow, and an effect that actually uses game mechanics more than maybe sickening a few types of creatures.

http://paizo.com/threads/rzs2qkn9?2014-Critique-my-Wondrous-Item-thread#46
Baldric of Revealing Mists
Non-intuitive to have a mist effect that isn't affected by winds. Weird that two of three effects are affected by radius, but a the other is line of effect. Does activating the third effect negate the second? Honestly, there's a lot of weird mechanics here.

...okay, that's page 1 done. I'll see what I can do about page 2 once I get a little more of my normal work done. ;)

Star Voter 2013

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As many of you can probably tell, I simply did not have time this last, very busy year to hold up my promise of reviewing all items in the blazing 9 thread. My apologies. The least I can do is come in here and offer some reviews of these right? Even if they're shorter than I might otherwise want. Here goes:

http://paizo.com/threads/rzs2qkn9?2014-Critique-my-Wondrous-Item-thread#2
Manservant Mannequin
The idea of swapping places with a body double isn't bad, but the second power seems unnecessary. Also, as-written, by tricking someone into saying the mannequin's command word, you can teleport them away 250 ft (possibly into a deadly situation) with no save, and get all their stuff. That's a huge problem.

http://paizo.com/threads/rzs2qkn9?2014-Critique-my-Wondrous-Item-thread#3
Spell-Mirror Shawl
I understand the utility of this item, but it's not very exciting because there are already effects that work under this basic premise (you use them in your requirements). The bigger problem is how variable the power of the item is. A 1st level character gets only a small fraction the effect a 20th level, 10th tier character does. That's not the way Pathfinder items are designed.

http://paizo.com/threads/rzs2qkn9?2014-Critique-my-Wondrous-Item-thread#4
Bracelet of the Peaceful Dove
Hey, I saw this item in voting! And, actually, I voted it down, sorry. Protecting characters from charms and such isn't a bad idea, but I really hated the bit where this is basically a magical "no, really, I am telling the truth" button. Feels like a campaign item.

http://paizo.com/threads/rzs2qkn9?2014-Critique-my-Wondrous-Item-thread#5
Provocateur's Pamphlet
This item is a lot of fun, I see why it has so many favorites. Other than moving up the section about how long the pamphlet takes to scribe, I like it a lot.

http://paizo.com/threads/rzs2qkn9?2014-Critique-my-Wondrous-Item-thread#6
Boots of Spellwalking
bit of a typo in your lead in sentance - I think you mean 'in silver thread'. The first ability is useful and kinda neat but a little powerful. The second ability is really confusing, and I simply don't get it. Might be a sign you took it a step too complicated.

http://paizo.com/threads/rzs2qkn9?2014-Critique-my-Wondrous-Item-thread#7
Abiding Light
The language in the first bit is a little muddled, and you would have been better of simply saying the candle cannot be extinguished rather than bringing wish[/]i into it. The second power is pretty nice, but you really need to have it make a check, otherwise it could become unbalanced.

http://paizo.com/threads/rzs2qkn9?2014-Critique-my-Wondrous-Item-thread#8
Battleforge Gauntlets
These are pretty darn cool gauntlets. Two things: one, it needs a daily charge rather than potentially infinite uses, and two, your comment about drawing a weapon from an explosion implies that you can freely create a weapon that casts single-target-fireball on every hit, forever. Remove or reword, because that severely unbalances it.

http://paizo.com/threads/rzs2qkn9?2014-Critique-my-Wondrous-Item-thread#9
Astral Thief's Opera Gloves
I remember seeing this item. Awesome.
You start with who created them. Good for unique items in a campaign setting, not for setting-less places like RPG superstar. That alone probably kept you out of the top 32. Also, it really feels like this is two items (especially because of your formatting). The first, the glove of thin air, is pretty good and I like. The second, I don't like that much, as it makes things too complex. Oh, and you misspell 'conmtact other plane' as 'contact other plant'. Hillarious, but the sort of thing that makes your work look sloppy.

http://paizo.com/threads/rzs2qkn9?2014-Critique-my-Wondrous-Item-thread#10
Spellmason's Mallet
The first power is okay, but not very exciting. The second power is also okay, but not very exciting. The third power is really powerful and theoretically allows you to cast wall spells as cages. Wall of stone? Target is immediately trapped forever, no save. Listing that the mallet could be used as a specific magic weapon makes it a magic weapon that happens to cast spells. Also, it doesn't use the belt slot - you carry it in your hand.

http://paizo.com/threads/rzs2qkn9?2014-Critique-my-Wondrous-Item-thread#11
Stanhope of Bloody Roots
I don't see how this is bloody. You put hair in it to cast spells on a target at more of a distance.The rest of the powers seem super situational and not exciting, and way way overpriced.

http://paizo.com/threads/rzs2qkn9?2014-Critique-my-Wondrous-Item-thread#13
Spellsnaring Gauntlets
'mêlée', really with the accents? Otherwise, this is pretty nice and I like it. Needs a duration for how long a caught effect lasts and if you can store more than one at once.

http://paizo.com/threads/rzs2qkn9?2014-Critique-my-Wondrous-Item-thread#14
Bullet-Catching Duster
This item is a mismash of really wearer-specific bonuses that most PCs would never care about. You need to go WAY more general than 'negates some specific weapon bonuses, and gives one archetype of one class a small bonus' You make up for it a little at the end, but not nearly enough.

http://paizo.com/threads/rzs2qkn9?2014-Critique-my-Wondrous-Item-thread#15
Lake Maker Spigot
your problem isn't that it's a spell in a can, it's that it is virtually identical to the already existing [i]decanter of endless water
, just way harder to use.

http://paizo.com/threads/rzs2qkn9?2014-Critique-my-Wondrous-Item-thread#16
Cloak of a Thousand Daggers
Kinda neat, but items that are based on the stats of their wearers are inherently unbalanced because they have stronger effects for one character than for another.

... wow, and here I thought I could make a dent in 300-some items.

Hopefully, I'll be able to do some more later: Donald Robinson, you're next. ;)

Star Voter 2013

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Sadly, I've seen too many figurines of wondrous power already, and I've only seen a dozen or so items so far. *sigh*

Star Voter 2013

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I'd like to note that you should be proud - I think your ooze was the most top-8 inspiring monster of the bunch.

Star Voter 2013

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A lot of mixed emotions about this encounter, wow. I agree, you didn't do a terribly good job of representing the location that this encounter is tied to - but you did do a pretty good job of designing the encounter itself. That counts for a lot. And, as the fifth encounter I've read you're also the first to actually make the trap (is it really a trap it the only activation is manual?) and the monster actually tie together. I was really hoping for more of that.

And, hionestly, I like how you took a non-evil sort of creature and made it a good antagonist, though the comments above about PCs practically being forced to defeat them do apply - A monster attacks you, so you kill it. That's how the game works 99% of the time.

Star Voter 2013

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Maurice, I can see a lot of love/hate for this monster in the thread, and I agree. With all of it.

I love the idea of a creepy headless creature with giant leeches for arms. I hate how it's description can't decide if it wants to eat souls or blood.

I love how it feels unique, and does stuff I haven;t seen before. I hate how as a CR3 monster, it could potentially do both Con damage and Cha drain.

Actually, I really hate that. As has been mentioned, it takes the party out of comission for a few days. But actually, because it does DRAIN, it cannot be restored until the party has 4th level spells - which means 7th level characters. Or, I suppose you could pay for it, along with the expensive material components!

And that's the killer. Ability Drain cannot be healed (easily) before 7th level, so it shouldn't be dealt with regularity (such as potentially every round) until that level. That is a major flaw in the design work.

Star Voter 2013

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Hi Charlie,

unfortunately, as others have mentioned, I don't think you quite made a superstar entry this round. There are a few reasons that I can see why:

I can't get a clear idea of what it looks like. You say 'monkey-faced' and 'whip-like arms', and it's a Small monstrous humanoid, but... that's it. You did an awful job describing what the creature physically is, which makes it hard to envision the monster at all.

You also tried to add monkey-creatures to places where they really stand out. Which is a pity, because these would have fit in great in the Mwangi Expanse, or especially Arcadia (which is the Golarion analogue to where your myth originates). So, it felt disjointed.

Lastly, your big superstar ability was stick-throwing. Not exactly an exciting option. Sure, I'm positive there are GMs who can find places and ways to make it interesting, but unlike a truly superstar encounter, it doesn't start there.

Star Voter 2013

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Michael, I think you hit a hard target here: an interesting ooze. It may have some small flaws, but you did pretty well with your idea and execution, so that's impressive.

I like Numerian monsters, and while 'cocktails' aren't somethign that fits a lot of adventures, seeing as these only exist in the same country you're likely to encounter robots and ray guns... I'll say it's pretty much spot on for where you chose it. Anywhere else in Golarion, not so much - a near hit.

Requiring the an underused mechanic for a monster like this is... risky. And that part I don't like as much. Especially because it's also not the straight up addicition rules, it's slightly different.

I like the abilities you have - glob, stench, fluid drain... but given your initial description, I would have also loved if it had some sort of hide bonus while in water. I mean, it makes total sense for a translucent ooze that lives in a river.

Star Voter 2013

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Personally, I was very surprised to see the lack of bards (where my archetype was located), especially after in War of the River Kings adventure, nearly every main enemy was a bard - Irovetti, I'm looking at you.

Star Voter 2013

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I love, love this archetype. Maybe it's because I'm playing an underwater adventure right now, maybe it just feels well balanced (though losing both swift and instant alchemy is sad), but I like the flavor, I like the salt bombs, I like the evolution up to gaining swim speed replacing poison resistance too - that's really clever.

Best of luck in this and future rounds!

Star Voter 2013

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Ack, I've been Neil'd!

Star Voter 2013

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Sorry, but I didn't like this archetype. Mechanical issues themselves aside, the biggest and first thing that turned me off was how the flavor and the mechanics seemed to work cross-purposes:
flavor... "[river stewards are] guardians of their local regions, protecting both its land [...]"
mechanics... "all attack and damage rolls against natural threats of this region. Natural threats include creatures of the animal, fey, humanoid, magical beast, monstrous humanoid, plant, and vermin types."

Personally, those are the only things I would consider natural to the river kingdoms. So a guardian against internal threats, maybe, but a guardian of the land? Not with bonuses versus animals, plants and fey. I know they can be the occasional threat, but it feels... wrong.

There are other concerns, too, like the total loss of most class abilities when more than a few miles from home, but they've been pretty well covered already.

Good luck in this round, and the next if you make it!

Star Voter 2013

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Nonsense, spending 2,281gp 7sp and 1.4 copper per charge is perfectly fine! ;)

Star Voter 2013

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Man, this thread has exploded so much more than previous years. Or at least, I haven't managed to keep up with it.

You're all doing great work reviewing in here. It may seem daunting, but everyone should try to read every review - there's a ton of good information here!

Star Voter 2013

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Nice to see someone liked my motive capacitor enough to put on their list (thanks James!). :D

I can't wait to see the actual critique my item thread, I think there might be a lot of feedback this year. :)

Star Voter 2013

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I'd probably wear a crown of oak and irony, just for the heck of it.

Star Voter 2013

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I'd like to second the request that if we don't get to see your archetypes as people who make it through, I'd still like to see them anyways. :)

Star Voter 2013

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Joseph, you raise a really good point. They sound really cool, but a lot of that is very meta. The idea of saving 2hp of healing from a spell in your gloves is very number-crunchy.

Star Voter 2013

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While something like "water lily" versus "waterlily" is a pretty mild and probably stylistic choice, it does serve as a reminder for everyone - check your work! If possible, get both a native US speaker and a non-native speaker to check it. Sometimes you'll introduce strange spelling without even knowing it.

Personally, I'm always impressed by non-US contributors getting everything correct with US spelling. English is a ridiculous language.

Star Voter 2013

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Clay, congratulations!

Unfortunately, I really don't like your item, and there's a number of reasons. Slight formatting errors, and burying the lead, and also that this item is almost a combination of every girdle mentioned in the "How to be a superstar - design a girdle" thread from a few years ago. Perhaps it's parallel development, but I've seen like, ten girdles that do almost everything here, so it feels very uncreative.

And also, I really don't like the "grappled about the body" description, because that's not a game rule. In fact, I would never assume a PC is just grappled about the body. After all, being grappled means you don't have both arms free (you can never use two-handed weapons), so by being too specific you basically negate your item's real star ability.

Without that, this is a cloak that gives you compression and a few snake traits, all of which have been done before.

I look forward to seeing more creativity from you next round.

Star Voter 2013

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Chris, congratulations on making it in. Your item in particular makes me super jealous, because it's extremely similar to my own orb of mists from last year that didn't make the cut, right down to it affecting "spells or abilities whose names contain cloud, fog, or mist."

Still, similarities aside, your item is very clearly better than mine was, so good on you. I'm just going to be jealous over here. ;)

Star Voter 2013

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goldomark wrote:
I just saw the two same items against each other, back to back. The only difference was that they changed place. The one on the right was on the left and the one on the left was on the right. This happened right after I voted for neither of them. I wonder if that has an impact.

That's pretty much what I was expecting. People seem to think the 'vote for neither' really means 'vote both down'. It doesn't. It means "someone else will vote on this pairing later."

Star Voter 2013

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That's why some crazy people (like myself) are keeping lists and notes on every item we review. So at the end, we can see a (partial) list of all the items, and common pitfalls.

Star Voter 2013

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Glutton wrote:
Wasn't "over 200,000 gold" a dq?

As discussed elsewhere... it's not directly a DQ. At that price, in 3.5e, it became an epic item - which before epic existed were artifacts.

So, an item that's over 200,000gp should probably be an artifact, yes. But unless it can't be crafted, technically it's only really bad design.

Judges, feel free to make a more official ruling on that.

Star Voter 2013

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Belladonna Blue wrote:
As a woman just starting school to study game design with the express intent of eventually ending up in the video game industry (and the RPG industry -- I like diversification!) I'd be interested in reading this, too. But waiting until Superstar is over sounds fair. :)

Do a twitter search for #1reason and #1reasontobe, both tags from just a while ago touching on being a female game designer in the video game industry. Specifically the latter.

Star Voter 2013

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CouncilofFools wrote:

I had a pair of earings and slotted them on the ears. There's no slot for ears... Head, headband, eyes... Yes. No ears.

Please, just be an example. referencing a non-existant slot is a decent mark against you, but specifically saying you used the ears slot breaks anonymity.

I cannot stress this enough people - DONT TALK ABOUT YOUR ENTRIES UNTIL AFTER VOTING HAS CLOSED!

Star Voter 2013

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I've mentioned it elsewhere, Pendin, always save a copy of your work. What if your computer crashed while submitting? You'd have lost it all!

Something to keep in mind for for next time. (next round, perhaps? Good luck!)

Star Voter 2013

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Every comment shall,
Without error or poor prose,
Be a fine Haiku.

Star Voter 2013

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Though waiting a few days and thinking about it is a fantastic idea, remember all of you who would wait until the last hour/minute/second to submit your item that internet blips happen. Give yourself at least a few minutes before the absolute last one to confirm that your item gets in!

Star Voter 2013

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Gold Coin
This small round piece of gold is prized by fighters, alchemists, wizards, cavaliers, inquisitors, witches, rogues, rangers, monks ....

Star Voter 2013

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Carl Flaherty wrote:


Let's see.
  • NPC Codex
  • Advanced Race Guide
  • Ultimate Equipment
  • Wait, Ultimate Equipment? I just had a terrible thought... What if round 2 was *also* designing a wondrous item?


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    I love these ideas. I also think the test of the starstone -> mythic is a pretty awesome link to Golarion canon.

    Star Voter 2013

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    New month, new age (I turned 27 on Archerfeast), new item.

    I love this idea, but not only is it too similar to the very obvious gaming reference, the effect is still very similar to last year's spellbreaker gauntlets, so it's not the sort of item I would actually submit.

    Also, as normal, I did a big rewrite at the last second in-post, so I'm sure I made some typos. Don't be afraid to call me out on it. ;)

    Mirror Shield
    Aura moderate abjuration; CL 15th
    Slot none; Price 80,000 gp; Weight 6 lbs.
    Description
    This large glassy circle, bound in gold, is designed to be mounted on one's arm like a shield. However, it's brittle nature makes it unsuitable for such use directly - should a user use it as a shield it provides only a +1 shield bonus and immediately gains the Broken condition regardless of the effects of the attack, or shatters if already Broken. Where the mirror shield truly comes to life is spell-combat, where it has three daily charges the wearer can make use of.

    As an immediate action, the bearer of the shield may expend one charge to deflect ray or gaze attack they are aware of and is targeted at them, harmlessly deflecting and dissipating the original energy.

    Alternately, as a readied action, the bearer can instead reflect any gaze attack, ray or line spell targeted at them or that would otherwise have to pass through their space. The bearer of the mirror shield must be aware of the incoming attack, though they do not need to know of it's exact nature or even direction to reflect it.

    When reflected, the original effect effectively ends in the bearer's square, and then re-originates from it in a direction of their choosing, exactly as if the original source was in the square, except that the maximum distance is reduced by the distance the effect traveled to reach the bearer's square.

    Construction
    Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, spell turning; Cost 40,000 gp


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    While I use an iPhone, most of my players use Androids, and there's one consistent request around the gaming table: Spellbooks.

    All of my players have their spell sheets, and we have the rulebooks, but any time they want to use a spell we can't think of off the top of their heads, they say "you know what I'd love? To be able to write down all my prepared spells in an app so I can reference them really quickly."

    That's almost a direct quote, too. There's a bit of a request for a digital character sheet app, as well. Right now, they're using 3rd party apps that sometimes get stuff wrong, and there's all sorts of confusing arising.

    So yeah, a digital spellbook tracker for our spell-slinging PCs. Especially for the Android.

    Star Voter 2013

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    Congratulations to this year's superstar!

    Star Voter 2013

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    I agree with Will, that despite all the criticism and everything else going on in this thread, that there is an important lesson to be learned; what you wrote didn't ultimately get across to the readers.

    One very obvious point to bring up; yes, Qwoshokk isn't the real villian of this adventure and is more of a driving force. But from what you wrote the judges and readers had a hard time keeping him in the deific-power-source category because there's so much time focusing on his motives and actions related to this adventure.

    Star Voter 2013

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    I personally had no problem with Draco Noir - because it's the sort of mismash of languages that makes English what it is. Sure, the parts of the name have different origins, but ultimately they're "fancy English".

    I'm also surprised at how all the judges called out the alchemical dragon, which is a new vehicle presented in one of Paizo's core rulebooks, as not just being wrong for the area, but wrong for Golarion. I can get that if it was from splat books, but it's in a core book so it should be at least acceptable in the game world, even if only rare, right? I mean, it's a fair point on the parachutes, but still.

    I like this encounter too, it feels very climactic, or at least penultimate, which is good, but there's another good point raised above - it happens too much in two stages, one of which is only added at the later tier. If it was more one area it would work better, but still.

    Star Voter 2013

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    I love, love that you made a primarily non-combat encounter being your encounter. It's fun and different. And the map and the huge list of possibilities is awesome.

    On the flip side, you present almost nothing but the encounter itself. The lead-in is really weak, the lead-out is similarly, and both introduce game balance concerns.

    I would have liked the encounter to play out a little differently, timing-wise. I can see a slow delay, but once the island has sunk would it do so in a single minute? I mean, if it's collapsing through an empty cavern, wouldn't it happen in a matter of seconds? Or if it's collapsing through water or slowly crumbling maybe take longer than that? One minute seems like an odd timeframe.

    And with that in mind, since your combat was kinda added-on anyways, I might have liked to see the encounter with no combat at all, and simply having the different levels being different timeframes. Lower level characters get an extra three rounds once the island begins to go under, for instance.

    Still, I'm impressed so much by your for building a non-combat encounter that I think I'm going to vote for you on the guts alone.


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    I know a lot of people didn't like the idea, but I'm a fan of FF XIII's loot system. Nearly every monster you fight drops something. A tusk, or a hide, or a poison gland - very few things dropped actual coins. Then, you dump them all back in town to an NPC for coin.

    You're not going to get rare drops in the terms of boars dropping vorpal swords, but you are going to get rare drops like "flawless tusks" or something, that then allows you to craft masterwork bone items or trade for a bucket of money.

    Star Voter 2013

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    Well, elixir of resurgent flame makes the top of my list, no doubt.

    I also really liked the spellbreaker gauntlets and cayden's cup.

    Below that, I'd have to put dustings of darkness, and chimaeric mantle

    But really, lots of good ones to choose from this year.

    Star Voter 2013

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    Erik Freund wrote:

    Would you consider the "Hellknights" to be an antagonistic organization that heroic PCs would not want to join? (and thus a valid submission for this contest)

    I'm just curious where the line is in people's minds. Plenty of PCs over the years have joined the Hellknights, but they seem fairly antagonistic to me, so they seem like a good example of "right on the line."

    I feel that a good antagonistic group would be something that always causes headaches for the PCs wherever they go. A cult of murderers, for instance, who gains power by murdering people might be an excellent antagonist for a series of adventures.

    Beyond good antagonists are the great ones; the hellknights, for instance, are an example of a great antagonistic group. A lot of the time, they'll be doing things that the PCs don't like, such as lynching rebels in Westcrown. Other times, they do things that interfere with the PCs but the PCs might not disagree with if they were on the other side of; keeping the law in Cheliax in general for instance. Other times still, they directly align with the PCs. You can bet if a dragon attacked a city, the hellknights would be there to help stop it.

    In a lot of ways, an antagonistic organization is a lot like a villain. A good villain is pure and simple evil. A devil, for instance is a perfect "good villain". A great villain, however, wants something beyond destruction. They might even not consider their acts to be evil. Ozymandias from Watchmen is a perfect example of a "great villain" because he has goals that are perfectly evil from the outside, but perfectly good from the inside. Lex Luthor is another example, though he's less cut and dry thanks to a gajillion spin-offs.

    If you're having trouble thinking of a good organization, try to think up a motivation a "great villian" could use, and make that the goal of an orginization. It may not be a perfect solution, but I think it'll give you a good start on figuring out where the line is.

    Star Voter 2013

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    What does it mean?

    Star Voter 2013

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    I think bstern has hit it right on the head - Neil is right, this is effectively a job application. The judges aren't just looking for a cool item, they're looking for a potential future coworker. Would you want to work alongside a guy who always passes on the details?

    I know I'll make sure to make sure I submit my Wondrous Item with top-notch spelling, to take a load off his mind. ;)


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