Richard Pett's page

Maybe a personal plea would help... Richard - we know you're out there.... any chance of sharing the query from the styes???

- Ashavan

The Styes - argh! The original Styes submission was based on a mutated half fiend of possesion being the lantern man and feeding the fiendish kraken, the skum in the plot were sahaugin and the chasing group were also sahaugin, it fitted the submission guidelines as close as I could (which obviously helps the reader). James suggested re-writing sections of it which, in my opinion, make it a much stronger adventure, I hadn't considered Aboleth at any time in my submission but I think they are great villains, however, I'd submitted the Styes a while back and, for practice, written the whole thing to try on my players (as they get a constant diet of horror, tentacled, slithering, transforming or otherwise). So the re-write was more or less total; Dory and his ship remained, and the sanitorium, and Landgraves Folly, but the rest had to be reworked which was quite challenging, however, as I'd fractured my skull in an accident I had plenty of time to do it and found the process interesting (it was a 24 hit point warhammer strike by the way).

I think as well, that Styes fitted into the Lords of Madness release so I was quite lucky to get the right thing at the right time.

I think its important to stress that 'established' writers (if thats what I am - I dont feel it just yet!) get stuff rejected too, and we also have to wait for our stuff to receive proper attention, I'd hate to think that staff at Dungeon would be put under pressure to speed-read submission and may miss a potential Greg Vaughan. I've another four submissions with Dungeon at the moment, as well as some campaign workbooks, and I'm pretty keen on quite a few of the adventures and one workbook in particular, I cant wait to hear back but I know also how much time the staff will have, I'd rather they had a good look and took longer than had a quick glance and got back to me more often.

And in the meantime - good grief its sunny in England, time to get in the garden and read Tammerauts Fate again for pointers.

Rich

The only thing I have a problem with in the guidelines is the suggestion that the easiest place to break into Dungeon is the Campaign Workbook. A cursory glance at the authors since the relaunch shows that the preponderance of articles were written by a small group of very well known authors: Richard Pett, Russell Brown, Mike Mearls, Wolfgang Baur, Rodney Thompson - names that readers will recognize from the pages of Dragon and Dungeon already, if not from other gaming publications - Mike Mearls writes for Malhavoc Press, Wolfgang Baur for Green Ronin and WotC (and was, unless...

Ashavan, I felt exactly the same way when I made my first batch of submissions but dont let it stop you trying, looking at your queries you obviously have a passion for what you're doing which is a big plus. Dungeon magazine welcomed my stuff on merit as I'm sure they would with anything they get - I'd never had anything published in any role-playing environment before but kept trying, its easy to get disheartened but getting knock backs is another joyful part of writing.

As I think I've put before, I get regular rejections, and it always takes a while to get back to me, but as has been said in other discussion forums reading through submissions is just part of what the staff will be doing. Regarding submissions I try to stick rigidly to the guidelines but, as Erik says, if the idea is isnt puchy enough in a couple of pages its not going to keep interest up over ten or twelve thousand words. For what its worth, the last three rejections I had I have had a good look at and its clear why they wouldnt work, an apocalyptic maltese falcon type adventure which was just too sweeping, a too linear comedy plot involving ropers and boggles who worshipped them, and a prison based plot that was a bit too close to the knuckle horrifically. However, of those two are still in my head as fundimentally good ideas and I may re-jig them, try them on my players and re-submit them in a varied format - which is exactly what I did with devil box, which began as a rejected submission about an escaped effreeti being chased by kobolds and ended up being about a shrunken chain devil in #109.

Sadly the roper plot will stay in the bin.

I find the hard part of submissions is analysing what is good and what is bad and making decisions as to what to bin and what to send or rework, but I'm sure other writers have different issues - I hope my friend Mr Vaughan may have something to say on the subject...

rich

I figured out what the killer rabbit is....

It's a very high-level fighter baleful polymorphed into a cute little bunny...

From the SRD: "It still retains its class and level (or HD), as well as all benefits deriving therefrom (such as base attack bonus, base save bonuses, and hit points)."

I pity the poor Transmuter who discovered that particular fighter had 20 ranks in Jump, and Weapon finesse.

Just thought I'd share.

And of course it must be armed with Vorpal Teeth...could these therefore be removable magic vorpal teeth used by the fighter and possibly a future magic item worthy of some mighty quest?

Oh no, please dont tell me this is the one I think it is...

Richard -

yeah... you prepare for the rejection, knowing that it's likely, but I think until you get it some part of you holds onto the idea that your stuff is just that good, that somehow you'll manage to get accepted on that first try.

As for getting an acceptance... well, I'm still waiting on that one, but I certainly haven't given up on it. And I've got three queries and 4 campaign workbook articles in that I haven't heard from yet, so here's to hoping that no news really is good news. :)

- Ashavan

I know what you mean, you always do your best and hope that its ok, but looking back at rejections I've had I can see why they havent been taken and taking that on board can work that experience into the next submission which will be all the stronger because of it. Best of luck with your submissions and don't forget how good that first acceptance will feel if you get it.

Rich

I must admit, the templates on BoVD just cry out for adventures, hence when I was after something very gloomy for the styes it seemed to fit, corpse creature for example is such a great idea it just has to be used somewhere.
I think if you have a cool idea whatever the templates or monsters you should submit it if it fits your adventure - obviously subject to the usual submission guidlines. The latest of a long line of submissions I've sent to Dungeon (a lot of which have been rejected) has a basic lich as its central baddie and I'm hoping they may run with it. Keep sending those ideas in, rejection is just part of writing, Koldoon's advice is absolutely spot on, until you get that first rejection you'll never know what its like - but how good you'll feel to get an acceptance...

Made a secret arrangement with one of the players at the start of a new campaign that he would be a traitor laying a trail for the PCs who were being pursued, he played it to a tea - in fact so much that after they'd killed his character (as we expected and agreed that, should this happen he'd get a level 2 character to start with) they never ever trusted any of his characters again.

Thanks for your positive comments everyone, its great to have feedback and particularly to see which bits are working well in others DMs campaigns, glad to hear the warehouse burnt down brainiac! I love the idea of Harid coming out and stalking the PCs! And Sean, the lantern mans original name was Jack-o-the-lantern, ala Jack the Ripper...I think the idea of involving the PCs in earlier investigations is great.

I ran the GDQ 1-7 in FR 'back-in-the-day' and it's going to be great having some old names resurface when we play the entire trilogy. One of the PC's who survived the trip into the Abyss is actually going to provide the hook for the current group.

Totally agree with Berkal, its a great bit of writing and a superb tribute to the old giant and descent series, having the action return back to the city surface at the end for the gripping finale is something I cant wait to run.

Its a case of balance I think, to me the Styes is as much China Mieville as it is Lovecraft, and as much as I love both I wouldnt want to be reading them all the time, but I think that dungeon strikes a great balance, personally I love stuff like Tammerauts Fate and the Box of Flumph and wouldnt find much use for epic level stuff, but theres always something I can use in Dungeon, as adventures are well written even if I dont use them it could inspire some ideas to use in my own campaign. Personally I run two campaigns, one to please the hack and slay chaps and one to please the ravenloft crowd, both are equally enjoyable and both use exactly the same system.
Cheers Greg, yes I'd love to have a bash at another adventure in The Styes if there was enough interest, but I'd also love to write that adventure with the pantomime nightmare...

The adventure just screams "Innsmouth". I'd love to see some more material set there. It's a great setting with a lot of creepy potential above and beyond the excellent adventure already set there. The boat hanging from a crane is just downright disturbing.

On a sidenote, I think I'm supposed to fight Richard Pett now. I'm thinking a Westside Story-esque gang brawl.

Richard, if you'll bring the switchblades I'll bring the brass knuckles and give snapping lessons to all the gangmembers.

Greg, surely we should be bringing lesser tenatacle rods!...I'm really pleased you both liked it - yes innsmouth is absolutely my favourite lovecraft story, however, the aboleth touches are james'; in my original the enemy was a mutated sahaugin (like a deep sea angler, hence the lantern man) but I have to say I think it works much better with the old fishy terrors themselves. I'd love to set some more adventures in the area, it does lend itself to lovecraft/mieville adventures. Yes, the boat, now where did that come from???

Now see what you've done James! - I take your point Koldoon, this was why I loved descent, vault of the drow being in my opinion the best potential menace to be had in any adventure. I hope you'll enjoy that feeling in The Styes when it comes out next month as I've tried to give it a lot of lurking menace, although I cant guarantee any flying monk rust monsters! (although it is an idea - ride of the valkyrie playing in the background, "the red terror of ukly village" where a group of wizards unleash - hmmm)
James, expect a submission with a room of modified girallons coming your way...

So unexpected large groups of invisible rending beasts would be truly, truly horrific...an interesting thought for any future submissions.

For future reference, and as a slight side-step, would DMs like to see the sort of rooms mentioned by PBEM DM in Demonweb turn up in adventures occasionally? I've noticed a few threads where places like this are mentioned with fondness, I think James mentioned something about the room with the lich in D1 a while back, again no real reason for it to be there as I recall, but what a surprise!

Really glad Huddle Farm got a mention, its not every adventure that features green cows...awesome.

Richard Pett wrote:

Tom Huddle's Green milking cows! - If you can find it, try and get hold of Willies 'Huddle Farm' adventure in Dungeon #12, great memories!

Are you still out in Dublin Willie?

Hi Richard. Glad to meet someone who didn't bite through his pencil and tear up his character sheet after playing that one...

I don't want to hijack another thread, so if you'd like to comment on the endurance course which was WW adventures, please take a peek at http://paizo.com/paizo/messageboards/dungeon/generalDiscussion/dungeon37 where the tale is already told. (Someone tell me how to make a clickable link?)

I'm still in Dublin, yes.

Great, I'll do that Willie, you should write a sequel! - send my regards to Big Jack Charltons bar.

Fiendishmonkey wrote:

Do any of you know of any crazy off the wall things to put PC's through that will make them stop and say "what the???????"

Without chasing them off.

Evangalists who carry their god in a box. They'll let the player characters see him for a small fee.

A gnomish sage, swinging an enlarged butterfly net, in search of elemental air.

Anything with accordians or bagpipes. Caber-tossing pixies come to mind.

Orc underground cavalry who use roller skates.

Giant spider can-can dancers.

Tom Huddle's Green milking cows! - If you can find it, try and get hold of Willies 'Huddle Farm' adventure in Dungeon #12, great memories!

Are you still out in Dublin Willie?

Fiendish Dire Poultry every time...

Have to agree with Alec, invisible monsters are the one thing I can guarantee will worry my players, in a recent run of RTEE I had invisible stalkers sent out of the Crater Ridge Mines after the PCs when they left, they were not happy, they were being stalked in a big town at night whilst they tried to sleep.
Also of course, anything that can't be seen can be used to create a scary atmosphere adding to the paranoia of the session. Anything Ravenloftish also comes up trumps here, patriarch vampires have an air of dread about them that brings my players out in sweats, but then anything in Ravenlot is very bad...
The most worried I've ever seen a group of players outside a Call of Cthulhu adventure was during the adventure Wind Chill by Kevin Carter in dungeon 77, which introduced a Windigo to a party caught out in the snow, another of your invisible horrors Alec!

How have you guys typically structured or worded a submission proposal? How much of the adventure is fleshed out? Also what sort of outline format have you been able to use successfully?

I don't know about Greg but I assume like me he follows the standard submissions format, very occasionally I put a few notes at the end for James to point out a few of the adventures potential high points (ideas on say lairs and how they may look) and possible alternative villains. Its only proper that we submit adventures in exactly the same format as everyone else, plus its obviously the best way for james and the staff to easily follow what you are proposing.

I try to vary proposals, so for example the latest few vary from a comedic adventure involving ropers and actors, to an aliensy style adventure set in a prison, and vary the levels. Of course theres no guarantee that any will be accepted, James has rejected quite a few of mine and even the Styes (thanks Erik!) has had substantial rewrites which have I hope made it quite a creepy adventure, these come from feedback and suggestions from Dungeon staff as they have their own direction they want the magazine to go in (which I think having read gregs abyss adventures is spot on).

I follow the same format as Greg, getting a few submissions together at once so that James can have a look through and hopefully something will catch his eye. If you vary the submissions in terms of levels, settings and villains this also gives him chance to spot something he may need for future issues. With The Styes (due out shortly) it was in a batch of four that I submitted, in the meantime I was working on the next batch, changing my submissions to suit the changing style of the magazine. That way if you get rejections you can take James' comments away and use them on your next batch and be quickly able to resubmit your new ideas. Gregs point about practice is very valid as the more you write the easier it is to blend different parts of old submissions into something new and exciting.