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215 posts. Alias of Orthos.


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2 people marked this as a favorite.

Go on. Go on.


Freehold DM wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:

One year ago today I was blasting a patio with a flamethrower (if you have a cooler way for drying off a patio I'd seriously like to hear it).

So, in celebration I dub today Flamethrower Appreciation Day.

Burn! BURN!

You rang?


<holds out unlit cigar. Waits.>


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I approve.


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AND NOT THE FUN KIND OF FIRE


AND NOT THE FUN KIND OF FIRE


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Here, have one on me.


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Vanykrye wrote:
Woran wrote:
Heaven preserve me from men that try to impress me with their IT knowledge.
Arson.

You Rang?


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Drejk wrote:
Fantasy NPC: Ohrias The Burning

What a pleasant fellow.


DO IT.


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captain yesterday wrote:
Vanykrye wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
Ragadolf wrote:

Who knew that pulling up the roots left behind after chopping down bushes and using a pickup to to pull the stumps out the ground was the HARD part?

Oh, wait, I DID!

(My wife is wondering why my back hurts? Because I hurt it trying to pull up those CONFOUNDED @#$% roots!)
;P

You don't pull roots, you chop them with an axe.
*stares into the middle distance, continues preparing thermite*
Fire is ALWAYS a solid plan B, no matter what you're doing.

I concur.


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Vidmaster7 wrote:
Random question: what would each FaWtL personnel's theme song be?

It's-a me!


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I heard there was arson and got here as fast as I could.


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Vanykrye wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:

Hoo, boy. Vanykrye and Woran will get this one.

They did a massive analysis of service requests filed against one of our products.

In 73% of all cases, the end users did not even try to search our knowledge base before filing the service request.

And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen: The end user!

(In fairness, the next graph was, "Would they have found the answer?" and that's at "only" 60%, but it means that over 40% of all our service requests are wastes of our time where people are filing requests instead of trying a simple search first.)

The only reasonable solution is arson.

I support this product and/or service.


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NobodysHome wrote:
Scintillae wrote:
I thought you said they called you Doctor Evil.
They call me a lot of things...

There are some who call him... Tim.


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Drejk wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:
Rei: ...but like, you literally have a skeleton inside your body, trying to get out, and so far they have a 100% success rate.

One word: cremation.

Deny the bastards their victory with scorched earth body strategy.

I support this product or service!


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I mean, if you can have a fire pit, there's no reason not to.


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Flame war? Don't mind if I do!


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Jar-Jar Binks wrote:
Orthos wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:


Quote:

EDIT: I was going to go on a big, angry tirade here, but it's FaWtL, so I'll be mellow:

An angry child walks up to a 20th-level paladin and says, "I hate you! You put my father in jail! I'm going to beat you up!"

Stating that the paladin's only two possible choices are to either
(a) Beat up the child and take his things, or
(b) Allow himself to be beat up because 'Lawful Stupid'
is a fundamentally false dichotomy.

That always ends well......people should ignore the immediate family of the people they have a potentially violent history with. Always walk away. No way that could EVER come back to haunt them or affect the child's life in any way!

I'm not sure trying to use the Prequels to prove your point is at all helpful.
Meesa not know what yousa mean. Meesa new avatar of Desna!

KILL IT KILL IT WITH ALL THE FIRE


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I concur.


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Vanykrye wrote:
Scintillae wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:

Yeah, I used to strap on a 65-pound pack and hike 10-15 miles a day in the baking sun for fun, but I still absolutely, positively loathed yard work.

I think it's a combination of the boring view, the lack of movement, and the knowledge that you're just going to have to do it again in under a month that gets to me about it. I get hot and miserable and sore and it's somehow orders of magnitude worse than hiking.

The owners who are kicking my mother-in-law out of her home (yes, landlords really do kick little old widows on fixed incomes out of their homes to make more rent around here) are demanding that she fix the yard before she move out.

My response would have been, "F*** you." And I almost never swear.
Instead, GothBard volunteered the whole family to help her garden on Saturday. MiL and GothBard are looking forward to it. The rest of us are thinking it's going to be a little slice of Hell. (Far, FAR worse than anything that happens today with the near-100 temps.)

Oh, I'd totally fix it. Easy.

Scorched-earth counts as "fixing," right?

Yes. You were simply trying to help the pine cones release for new growth.

I endorse this product and/or service!


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NobodysHome wrote:

(1) We have passed inspection, and are officially DONE upgrading to solar! Woot!

(2) A corporate flier arrived in my Inbox today: "Understanding your electricity bill and how to reduce it."

Throwing it out felt SOOOOOOOO good...

Huzzah!


Freehold DM wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:

I'm all done with cutting which means all I'm doing for the rest of the day is driving.

And asking the mechanic how hard it would be to weld a platform to the top of our trailer for the flame spouting guitar player we now need.

you took the words right out of my mouth.

\m/ YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH \m/


Wooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooooooo!!


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Tequila Sunrise wrote:

I refuse to eat sushi because I firmly believe that my ancestors tamed fire so that I can eat my meat cooked.

Sometimes an otherwise trusted source will claim that "some sushi is smoked" or even "sushi doesn't mean fish."

But I know they lie, for they dishonor the ancestors, and they would see me come to death and ruin.

This is a man who knows wisdom.


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Asmodeus' Advocate wrote:
MageHunter wrote:

If you could buy s'mores premade... You wouldn't.

They're just fun to cook. By a campfire I'll say 20 raw marshmallows to keep myself fueled while cooking a couple s'mores.

MageHunter gets it! It might just be my childhood nostalgia speaking, or my pyromania, but s'mores hold a special place in my heart and stomach.

I endorse this product or service!


John Napier 698 wrote:
Just got done watching Envy get incinerated in FMA: Brotherhood.

Good, goooooooood....


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This pleases me greatly.


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The Vagrant Erudite wrote:
My friends in Florida used to hunt down Christmas trees from front yards after Christmas and into the New Year. Then, they'd have a big pine-scented bonfire!

I endorse this.


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Scintillae wrote:
LordSynos wrote:

The heck?!

Edit: Ah,this must be the "reply appearing before the comment" thing that I've read about recently. Weird.

Nope. It's clearly black magic, and you must be burned at the stake.

Woohoo!


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Scintillae wrote:
Orthos wrote:
and presumably would also be if Scint was
I love the smell of conversational napalm in the morning.

Smells like burned bridges and shunning.


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Says you!


The Answer Is ... wrote:
Lance Bombardier Orthos wrote:
Sadly our back yard is currently the domain of the First Airborne Wasp Squadron. We've ceded the territory until autumn.
Fire

I wish! Sadly the authorities have taken it off the table.


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Scintillae wrote:
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Oh Sir Terry, how you are missed.


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Many kitchen fires are grease fires, which are harder to extinguish and can get hotter faster.


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The Paladin threads are blazing nicely this morning.


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Childs wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
Maybe the time has come for Freehold! after all...

Oh Hell no. {starts furiously shoveling snow back onto Freehold} Look, more snow, you like snow and ice, right? Go back to sleep, back to sleep...

Where the hell is MacReady with that flamethrower?!

Did somebody say FLAMETHROWER?!?


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NobodysHome wrote:
The world is shame.

KILL IT WITH FIRE.


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Terrinam wrote:
Sounds to me like we should just skip to setting everything on fire :D

I endorse this product and/or service!


xobmaps wrote:
Rysky wrote:
Vic Wertz wrote:
Redacted: A flamethrower? That solves two problems.
Only two?
Maybe it was just the net solutions after subtracting off the new problems it caused?

What new problems?


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Terrinam wrote:
Just aim, ignite, and pray :p

My people!


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Mwahahahah!! Melt! Melt you wretched excuse for wannabe water! Hahahahahah!!!


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=D


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Burn it. Burn it ALL.


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Freehold DM wrote:
Tacticslion wrote:

Fevers: they suck.

All shivery body and shakey fingers and you feel cold even when you're actually warming than surrounding temperatures, and it makes it hard to think right or concentrate. Blech.

Fevers are stupid and should feel stupid.

(Despite probably playing an important role somewhere.)

you need them to destroy the invading germs.

Fevers are your body subjecting enemy assailants to the PITS OF INFERNO.


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Aww.


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Tacticslion wrote:
Scintillae wrote:
It's gonna be such a trainwreck.
Hopefully a long, slow one, so I can enjoy the flaming wreckage.

Awwwwwwww Yeeeeaaaaaahhhh.


GM Bookwyrm wrote:
Echo: sees the party grouped around the imp I got bombs.

An elf after my own heart.


Mmm Mmm Mmm. Toasty.


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Fireman Gob Montag wrote:

The thread the thread the thread is on fire

We don't need no mods let the motherFaWtL burn
Burn motherFaWtL burn

BURN BABY BURN FAWTL INFERNO

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