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Dr Lucky

Professor Farnsworth, Scientist's page

51 posts. Alias of Slaad-Barr.


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1 person marked this as a favorite.

I blame Cosmo for the conspicuous absence of SteamPeeg in the TechGuide.


Mythic JMD031 wrote:
Technically all of my rants are about ranting...

You are technically correct—the best kind of correct!


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Cabbage Guy wrote:
Orfamay Quest wrote:
yellowdingo wrote:


No, it appears to be a ball of gas, but we dont know if the centre is an ultra dense shell sufficient in mass to attract a gaseous outer layer or a solid core of a brown dwarf.
Have you any more evidence for "an ultra dense shell sufficient in mass to attract a gaseous outer layer" than I do for "a lemon pudding"?
It's a cabbage! A gigantic galactic cabbage!

Well, Jupiter's core is made of diamond, so a gigantic galactic diamond cabbage.


Gorbacz wrote:
Ross Byers wrote:
DM Beckett wrote:
I didn't say worse. :)
DM Beckett wrote:
When PF came out, the Cleric itself got blasted with nerfs
I am having difficulty reconciling these two things.
New to Beckett, aren't you? :)

I'm just wondering what he has to put right every week before his next leap. :)


Ooo, that's a paddlin'! keeperin'!


Gary Teter wrote:
How much of the dust on the record player used to be me?

All of it is yous. The other Teters from parallel continuities are using Dyson Quantum Dualities vacuums to suck up all the you dust from their realities and shunt it to yours.


And Sony will invent the first robotic daggit.


{looks around nervously} Whatever you do, don't try to burn it again... you'll likely summon an OSS evangelist swarm, or worse... a mythic neckbeard!


16 people marked this as a favorite.

Well, typically we deploy a Bussard ramscoop array to collect the hydrogen accreting from the red giant companion before the white dwarf-

{glances up at other responses} Ah, never mind.


Legion Janus wrote:
I blame Cosmo for the collapse of the experimental quantum states designed to create alternate timelines that would serve as pollution dumping grounds and oil sources for our own. Now we're just limited to our own oil!

Actually, I think Yellow Dingo is more likely to blame for this... he's probably in Sydney colliding Whitehouse.gov petitions in the ANTARES accelerator again.


Well, we gather up the Earth's fissionable materials, build a reactor on a rocket, and fire it at the Sun to take out the q-ball. Hmmm, that sounds somehow familiar...


If I had to bet, 'Dingo, I'd've figured you would have ignored the Page headline in favor of the one about strangelet creation that would "leave the planet ‘an inert hyperdense sphere about one hundred meters across.’"


SnowJade wrote:
Gary Teter wrote:
Given the aforementioned ridiculous sound system, could you subtract the dishwasher from the room?
How mad will your wife/life partner get?

A sound system that can shift an appliance like a dishwasher out of phase is going to use too much power to get a good Energy Star rating. Also, it likely violates the Treaty of Algeron.


Gary Teter wrote:
Is it ok to infringe a patent in the privacy of my own home?

You'll eventually go blind doing that.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Thymus Vulgaris wrote:
Professor Farnsworth, Scientist wrote:
Thymus Vulgaris wrote:
I blame Cosmo for Chris Lambertz removing inappropriate posts in a thread I was reading and me wanting to know what they said.
Don't worry. When you go to sleep tonight, we'll inject Cosmo in a microscopically-shrunken Proteus II into your bloodstream. Once inside, he'll fantastically voyage into your brain and make the corrections in your grey matter so you'll forget about those posts Sara Marie removed.
It was Chris Lambertz I complained about... but I certainly don't remember being annoyed by posts removed by Sara Marie, so I guess Cosmo succeeded on that one.

I guess my memory was altered too! {shakes fist feebly}

Apologies to all. I don't know how I confused Sara Marie for Chris... I must therefore blame Cosmo.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Thymus Vulgaris wrote:
I blame Cosmo for Chris Lambertz removing inappropriate posts in a thread I was reading and me wanting to know what they said.

Don't worry. When you go to sleep tonight, we'll inject Cosmo in a microscopically-shrunken Proteus II into your bloodstream. Once inside, he'll fantastically voyage into your brain and make the corrections in your grey matter so you'll forget about those posts Sara Marie removed.


yellowdingo wrote:
what ever it was blocking the tunnel machine has vanished and now the highway is sinking

It appears that they must have gotten their Oscillation Overthruster working again. Better luck next time, John Yellowdingo.

And don't touch the watermelon over there.


2 people marked this as a favorite.

Being a bad example of design still qualifies as serving a purpose. :)


{checks instruments again} That's no anomaly! That's a bona fide Sharoth sighting!

...and now he's gone again.:(


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Aberzombie wrote:
I believe sometimes a tool is just a tool. But sometimes, he's a douche as well.

Does that make him a multi-tool?


Meh. According the the Unified Theory, all of this is predetermined since the Big Bang kicked off (or even before)... so do whatever you want, 'cause ya got no real free will anyway.

{puts Yellowdingo back in the Schroedinger Box and bombards him with radioactive mangoes, Bieber remixes, and nonstop reality television programming}


{feverishly begins work on portmanteau of "emigrate" and "my lawn"}


Gary Teter wrote:
How is the water cooler able to give me hot water right after it was all out and I changed the tank? Shouldn't I have to wait at least a minute?

Well, there are the heat sinks and piping that convect it in from the toastier messageboard threads, and the piezoelectric mats installed into designated head-pounding areas for the customer service staff. Frankly, you should have enough heat to smelt a T-1000... if Freehold wasn't siphoning so much away to power his M.A.R.S. Weather Dominator Mk VI.


Hmmm, a glass of water would make a perfect delivery medium for mini-sharknados. {commences work on miniaturization ray}


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Gary Teter wrote:
At what point is the population of a generation slowship inside its own "anthro-centric" light cone?

I avoid that quandry by crewing the entire slowship with housecats.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Aberzombie wrote:
Apparently, because I'm an engineer, some of my neighbors think I'm the perfect person to ask why certain parts of their lawns keep dying.

Feel free to offer up reasons as well as "cures," the weirder the better. Channel Calvin's dad.


5 people marked this as a favorite.
Odraude wrote:
...Unlike firearms, which takes some saltpeter, charcoal, sulfur, and something to put that in :)

You're also gonna need a vine fuse, some loose diamonds, and a bamboo trunk to put it all in.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Michael Ansara -- aka Captain/Commander Kang from Star Trek (3 different series!), Mr Freeze from Batman: TAS/Batman: Beyond, Elric from Babylon 5, Kane from Buck Rogers in the 25th Century, and a ton of other stuff -- has died at 91. Somewhere, the Klingons are yelling for Sto'Vo'Kor to prepare for his arrival.


3 people marked this as a favorite.
Sara Marie wrote:

Crystal: I'm too lazy to open the PDF. So I stood up [to get the book off the shelf]

Robot Chris:I'm too lazy to post that in the overheard thread

Christopher: too lazy to comment on the laziness of others.

Sara Marie: sigh, i guess its up to me

Liz: Jump on that grenade Sara!

Crystal: Jumping sounds like a lot of work for a Monday

Christopher: Flop disinterestedly on that grenade.

Justin: meh, just let the grenade come to you

It might be a light grenade; you should have an intern flop on it first.


4 people marked this as a favorite.
Scintillae wrote:

Just got back from Pacific Rim. First showing of the day. No one else in the theater.

IT. WAS. GLORIOUS. brb trying to find a justification for my oracle to build a clockwork jaeger

What about a mini jaegar? Little girl not included.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

More mantis shrimp: TED Talk: Sheila Patek clocks the fastest animals (16.:28 minutes long)


Hama wrote:
You do know that a kick in the genitals ranks higher on a pain scale then childbirth?(i am not debating if this is true, but scientists who devoted their lives to pain say so)

Actual scientists say no, not quite. Also, there is no such thing as "del" units to measure pain.


The first recorded car accident happened in 1869, when Irish scientist Mary Ward was riding in a steam-powered automobile built by her cousins. As they rounded a bend in the road, Ward was thrown from her seat and fell in the vehicle’s path. One of the wheels rolled over her and broke her neck, killing her instantly.


Cynic wrote:
stormraven wrote:
Moreover, Jason Bulmahn knows my name! So suck it you faceless rabble! I haz infamy!
Well now you've done it. We'll never deflate his head now.

If his head is still swollen after 4 hours, we can have Dr. AM BARBARIAN RageChargePounce it with his +5 courageous lance of optimization.


Patrick Curtin wrote:
Alas, like fungus, I believe the worthless threads will always respring up, spawned from the manure of their poster's mouths. I find hiding/focus has been working wonders for me lately. Or maybe I just don't care anymore.

Hey! Fungus serves a much-needed environmental purpose, quite unlike the posters-who-must-not-be-named.

{returns to working on humanoid-communicable Fungus Transfer Protocol anti-troll weapon}


The proton torpedoes did enter the Death Star through the exhaust port and detonate within, so technically it was an inside job.

{returns to experiment feeding Miracle-Gro and McJabba's wookie nuggets to womp rats to see how large they'll grow}


Grand Magus wrote:
I wonder if Bigfoot is a posit?

If you accelerate Bigfoot to near the speed of C, and he hits a halfling head on traveling at the same speed, what previously undiscovered cryptid quarks would we observe?


3 people marked this as a favorite.
Kajehase wrote:
Pigs may not fly, but they're actually pretty decent swimmers.

Pigs do fly, but not under their own power. {loads Wilbur onto Saturn V rocket} Bacon and ribs won't deliver themselves.


meatrace wrote:

I wish I could stop dreaming.

*shudder*

Good news, everyone! My new Ronco Super Trepan-O-Matic 76 just arrived. It came with 10 interchangeable rotors, a nine-month guarantee, and a booklet, 1,001 Ways To Harness Brains. You're welcome to be the first to try it out, Oh Magic Floating Head.


CHANGE: The Universe is actually a sophistic dreamstate. Unfortunately for the rest of us, the "dreamers" are the political talking heads and messageboard trolls.


2 people marked this as a favorite.

Twilight trilogy + 50 Shades of Grey

I've always wanted to make a black hole that destroyed a civilized world. {crosses #7 off bucket list}

Spoiler:
"It's pronounced 'bouquet list'." [/Hyacinth]


Aberzombie wrote:
Ultradan wrote:
Aberzombie wrote:
An average of 13 people die every year from vending machines.

And, strangely enough, they are all from my building where I work...

Ultradan

DUH! DUH! DUHHHHNNN!!!

Ultradan, you are already 3/4s of the way to either a new SyFy original movie or a new "History" Channel special.


I think we should go by observable phenomena as the basis for a unified model... I propose we use cheese: solid, melted, creamy, crumbly, string, and spray.


Sissyl wrote:
So... lizards increase the level of hydrogen peroxide when regenerating a tail? I... need to say I don't quite see why this would be a good idea for humans...

In humans, no. Humans regenerate by increasing their levels of Mentos and Coke. {begins applying for research grant}


James Martin wrote:
Some want cookies. Delicious human-flavored cookies.
Then it's good we have a champion. Come to think of it, Liz/Lilith is renowned for her cookies... is her secret book of cookie recipes titled To Serve Man?
The NPC wrote:
I prefer the idea that the mythos gods are by products of the creation of the universe.

Cosmic afterbirth?


False teeth are often radioactive. Approximately 1 million Americans wear some form of denture; half of these dentures are made of a porcelain compound laced with minute amounts of uranium to stimulate fluorescence. Without the uranium additive, the dentures would be a dull green color when seen under artificial light.


Conspiracy Buff wrote:
Actually, OP, your antivirus was merely reacting to an invasion by Paizo's evil twin from an alternate dimension, Oziap Corp. In that dimension, Oziap long ago conquered the world through its domination of the manufacture of toilet paper and icecube trays, and now seeks to expand its malign influence to all other dimensions via co-opting our world-wide web.

If Dr. Hikita hadn't invented the oscillation overthruster, Lord Cosmo Worfin wouldn't have crossed over, and we wouldn't need the help of Buckaroo Teter and The Pai Zo Cavaliers right now.

{returns to work, putting watermelon into a larger hydraulic press}


Good news, everyone! gran rey de los quadrophenia is banned for reading.


Good news, everyone! Gran is banned for mistaking Slurm cola for khazan's drool.

Khazan is banned for being an awful movie starring Shaq.


It's probably pining for the fjords.

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