Dr Lucky

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Goblin Squad Member. 177 posts (1,121 including aliases). No reviews. No lists. No wishlists. 8 aliases.




Post out of character questions, statements, and general nonsense here.


Prelude

[[CUTSCENE]]

The warm night air carried the sweet scent of jasmine through the open window of the nursery, gently moving the silk curtains in random patterns. The night smells mixed perfectly with the clove incense burning in a brazier beside the prince’s tiny bed. A chorus of crickets filled the night with their eternal song as the ruler of Jalmeray, Thakur Kharswan, stood silently in the dark, enjoying the moment of his son’s blissful slumber. All was well in the Kingdom of the Impossible.

Two heavy thuds came from just outside the room and the night sounds suddenly ceased. A large, sinewy shadow seemed to melt into the room from the now open doorway. The shadow grew as it inched across the marble floor and crept up the far wall to writhe over the prince’s bed. Thakur stood observing with a strange detachment as the shadow took on the shape of a gigantic hooded cobra. It stopped writhing and two slender arms sprouted from the main trunk of the shadow, each holding a curved dagger. A harsh whispering chant began and the cloying scent of putrefaction overpowered the once sweet air. The whispering stopped, and with a blinding swiftness the two arms descended towards the prince…

Thakur Kharswan jolted upright in bed, his heart pounding in his ears and his forehead beaded with sweat. The royal chamber was pitch black and quiet as a tomb. The night braziers were unlit...Strange....Thakur rotated and sat on the edge of his bed, his bare feet touching the floor. The marble was cold. Very cold. It should still be warm from the heat of the day. He mumbled, “Murnish, why are my lights out?”....Silence....“Murnish, attend at once!”....Silence...For the first time in over thirty years Thakur’s inner calm broke into unfamiliar fear. And then the gravelly voice was suddenly at his right ear, startling him even more, “I am here, my master.”

“Murnish, why did you not respond immediately? Why are my lights out? Rectify.”

The braziers suddenly glowed softly and the chill blackness fled the room. The sound of crickets drifted in from the night.

The deep, gravelly voice responded with indifference, this time in his left ear, “I was elsewhere.”

Thakur’s calm was now completely shattered. “What is the meaning of this? You are indentured and commanded to never be absent.”

The otherworldly voice shifted to in front of the king. “True. I was here as commanded…and then I was taken…elsewhere.”

Thakur stood up and began pacing, utterly confused. “Impossible. You are my sandestin. Explain. And trade your typical surly brevity for more complete and contrite remarks. Indenture points hang in the balance of your response.”

Without a change in tone Murnish muttered, “You were sleeping as usual, my master. I, who never sleep, watched with twelve senses attuned across eight dimensions. Three mosquitoes flew in through the window. I ate them. Your breathing became irregular and your eyelids fluttered about. Dream weft, in colors not your own, filled the room. A sonic disturbance broke the air and I was suddenly beyond this plane.”

Thakur stopped pacing and held his chin, deep in thought. He knew that there were very few powers in the multiverse that could snatch, let alone influence, a bound sandestin of Murnish’s ilk. “What was the nature of this sonic disturbance?”

“It was your scream”.

Thakur looked up sharply. He flung open his chamber doors and swiftly ran to the prince’s room. Four guards stood at attention in the palace hallway, as they always have, and the door to his son’s chamber was closed as normal. He grabbed a lit torch from the wall and quickly pushed the doors open, bursting into the room, the mystified guards trailing in his wake. Matiriya, nurse maid to the prince startled out of her chair by the prince’s bed, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, stammering as she reflexively lowered her head in the king’s presence, “Your majesty, how may I serve you?”

Thakur rushed to the bed, shoving aside the flustered maid, and threw back his son’s silk blanket. He lay there, breathing peacefully. Thakur breathed a deep sigh of relief and, gaining his composure, addressed the maid. “Has anyone or anything disturbed the prince’s slumber tonight?”

“Nothing, your majesty. I sang the Three Verses of Vudra’s blessings and he slept peacefully all night."

Thakur breathed in deep. If it was not for the fact that someone, or something, had banished Murnish, even for a brief moment, he would have thought this night’s event nothing more than a bad dream... Murnish had mentioned something about dreams. He turned to exit and that is when he saw the sign. There, hanging above the door was the severed head of Thakur’s brother, the Pasha of Dwarkut, his guest at the palace this week. The neck was blackened and cauterized, the eyes and mouth blackened and melted as if by acid. A black lotus flower dangled from a hole in his forehead. When the king suddenly paused in mid-step, the nurse lifted her eyes ever so slightly and saw what had caused him to falter. Her scream pierced the night sky, awakening the child and half of the palace.

The Ebon Cult was here in Jalmeray.

[[END CUTSCENE]]


Greetings,

It would seem that this order is missing an item in the box that arrived today. Namely, Poo: The Card Game (PSIWDF11060). It is listed on the packing slip but was nowhere to be found in the box. Hopefully this product has not been purged from your warehouses, and that you have a pile of Poo still present, one of which should be flung my way.

Many thanks.


I placed this order back on November 23, which became part of the big Green Ronin holiday special snafu. Further snafus later, it supposedly shipped on Jan 9th. It is now late on the evening of Jan 30th and I have yet to receive the order. I emailed customer service two days ago and have not heard back. I am now irked, which is doubly irksome since I like Paizo and I hate complaining. If the order did indeed ship, then where the heck did it ship from and on what decrepit slug of a truck. Can you please update me as to its status and supply some reason as to why anything shipped in the U.S. going to the middle of the country (Colorado) would take more than 18 mail delivery days to arrive. You guys are great innovators, but time to ratchet up quality control on the service side.
Thanks for listening to the rant and I hope to hear some positive news soon.