Paizo Top Nav Branding
  • Hello, Guest! |
  • Sign In |
  • My Account |
  • Shopping Cart |
  • Help/FAQ
About Paizo Messageboards News Paizo Blog Help/FAQ
Bag of Holding

Our Mysterious Benefactor's page

5,661 posts. Alias of James Martin (RPG Superstar 2010 Top 16, 2011 Top 32).


1 to 50 of 5,661 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | next > last >>

There is much disappointed noises as Reta and Chuffy spit out the stones, and while Poog's insults sound good, Mogmurch's insults are positively educating!

Loptop slaps him on the back, knocking out the hot rock and holds up his arm. "You is full of fire and nasty! We make a goblin of you yet!" She awards Mogmurch a half exploded firework, which she sticks to his head with a piece of sap.

Benefit: The user of this Licktoad badge can call forth a stream of blistering invectives against a single creature with an Intelligence score of 3 or higher within 30 feet. This allows the user to attempt an Intimidate check to demoralize that creature with a +5 circumstance bonus on the roll. If the user’s check exceeds the target DC by 5 or more, her target is staggered for 1 round instead of shaken. This is a mind-affecting effect.

"Last test! Goblins need good teeth for chomping and crunching pickleses and bones! Let the test of Squirmtongue begin!" Loptop leads you to a patch of wet earth where worms squirm just below the surface. Using only your teeth, you are to bite a bunch of mud, use your teeth to filter out the worms and spit out the muck! The one who finds the most worms while eating the least dirt wins! You need a DC 12 Perception check to find a worm, followed by a DC 14 Reflex save to keep the worm and spit out the muck. Three fails on the Reflex means you ate too much muck and you're out. Winner is the one who finds the most worms before 3 failed Reflex saves!

Despite Reta's Chuffy-batics and Mogmurch's attempts to burn himself for humor, it's Poog's mad scramble that wows the crowd, leaving them laughing and slapping the ground in appreciation!

"You might be a goblin, too. You wins the Hurtin' Badge!" Loptop holds aloft a broken rusty caltrop, which she stabs into Poog's chest!

Benefit: The user of this Licktoad badge gains DR 5/− against a single attack, and is hurled 5 feet away from his attacker in a direction he chooses, landing on his feet. The user can activate this badge after he is hit, but before damage is rolled.

Loptop turns to the crowd. "Next up is Hurtingful Words! Bring out the bucket of hotten stones!" Another goblin hauls out a metal bucket in which rests four glowing stones, steam rising off them. "You gotta out a stone in your mouth and make bad words at each other! Best words without spitting out the stone wins!"

Make a DC 8 Fort Save to keep the stone in and an DC 14 Intelligence check to make some pretty nasty words! You can try multiple times, but the Fort save rises by 1 each round. If you fail, you automatically spit out the stone before it can deal lethal damage to you!

"Ale and stew? Not awkward questions like the wild guy? The Bountiful Catch Inn's got rooms," she nods toward the north and you remember a two story building that looks like it was once beautiful and has deteriorated. "Rube'll have rooms, most likely. But you oughta keep your questions to yourselves. Folks around here don't take kindly to mouthy outsiders. Bad things can happen this close to the sea."

Despite their best efforts, they see nothing out of the ordinary.

Until the guys try to shoot them.

Crossbow vs Soran: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (8) + 6 = 14 for 1d8 + 1d6 ⇒ (8) + (1) = 9 damage!
Crossbow vs Mikail: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (11) + 6 = 17 for 1d8 ⇒ 4 damage!


Ferabras: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 = 5
Hoshiko: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (5) + 5 = 10
Mikail: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (15) + 5 = 20
Zolarus: 1d20 ⇒ 9
Soran: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (8) + 3 = 11
Foes: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (6) + 2 = 8

Round 1:
Hoshiko, Mikail, Zolarus, Soran

Hoshiko, Mikail, Zolarus and Soran are up! You can see two Razmiran footsoldiers holding crossbows and flanking you from either alcove.

Fera looks 'round, but sees nothing out of the ordinary.

You're almost there! This room is the penultimate room...

Let us know if you think you'll be gone for more than a day on your trips. Do I have your permission to GMPC you or would you like another player to take you over if it seems like you're gone for a while?

He was definitely evil. And a little scaly.

Ferabras calls up that there's handholds on both sides, and taking your time, you crawl down and then up the other side, where a door waits open a crack.

This large room has high, arched ceilings and a floor made of simple white tiles. Four statues frame the room, two of them recessed in wide alcoves along the south wall and two more standing against the north wall. The statues in the southern alcoves are carved from granite polished as smooth as glass. Both statues depict the same man, tall and regal with a full head of windblown hair. They are both completely nude, and each statue has one hand crossed behind its back while the other hand points toward its twin. When viewed from the front, the statues look like a mirror image of the same person. The two statues against the north wall are sculpted from lightly veined marble and depict two different women, nude to the waist and draped with robes from the waist down. The one to the east scowls and points accusingly at a plain wooden door in the north wall. The one to the west smiles and regards the door with a curious expression.

This round is a mess, as Mogmurch's fire explodes and goblin whelps fly every which way as spectators hoot and cheer. In the end, Chuffy stands beside the trussed spider, holding its leash and looking proud.

Loptop lets out a dramatic sigh and steps toward Chuffy. "You is goblin. Maybe you is slooooow goblin, but you is goblin. You winna prize!" She holds out a torn and faded badge upon which is embroidered a boar. Benefit: Following a successful attack roll against a creature of the animal type, the user of this Licktoad badge increases her damage from that attack by +1d6 points. This extra damage is not doubled on a critical hit. The user can decide to activate this badge after rolling the regular damage for the attack.

Seeing the crowd getting restless, Loptop lets out a bloodcurdling whoop that silences everyone! "No, next test! You am good goblins for tying up Many-Legs, but good goblins am also good at making tribe happy with pain! This is test of Happy Beat! You gotta hurt yourself in creative way to make tribe laugh!" You can roll a DC 15 Bluff or Charisma check to hurt yourself in a really spectacular fashion, dealing 1d3 points of non-lethal damage to yourselves for the amusement of the tribe. Best injury-performance wins and you can add the amount of damage you do to yourself as a bonus on your Bluff or Charisma roll!

In a flurry of arrows and steel, the snake man goes down! But as his limp body falls, there is a soft POP and he disappears, leaving you in the pit of coins. For those in the pit, you can make out handholds carved into the stone. What are Soran and Mikail and Zolarus doing to get across the pit? There's a rope, but I need a climb check from everyone to use it!

The bomb explodes just beside the spider, burning it with a splash of fire. It shrieks and hunkers down to make one great escape leap!

Last chance to grab!

Once again there is a pile of goblin whelps and once again, the spider sits alone in the mess, looking increasingly embarrassed for the whelps!

Last chance to redeem!

Hoshiko drops into the pit and lands hard, slipping into the coins a few inches. She gets up and delivers a vicious slash to the snake-man!

Sure! You can make me an acrobatics check to negate 10' of the 30' fall damage. But, unless you have some magic to negate this, if you take any damage you fall prone and must spend this round getting back up. I'll let you spend Round 2 jumping down and use the attack for Round 3.

Falling damage: 3d6 ⇒ (6, 1, 5) = 12 A successful DC 15 Acrobatics check negates 6 pts for a total of 6 pts damage.

It's 30 ft down. Unless you have a LOT of reach, you'll need to get down there.

Reta manages to grab the spider, but her leashing skills leave something to be desired as it wriggles free! Chuffy tries to "help" but all he succeeds in doing is leaping upon Reta's large head and riding it like a rodeo bull.

The tavern is a one-storied building called the Walleyed Kraken. A few sailors are sitting at the bar, sipping thick beer while a woman studiously cleans a glass. She looks up as you enter and groans. "Not more strangers..." she mutters to herself.

There are a few grimy tables available, and seating yourselves at one, you look up to see her walking over. "What'll it be? Drink's thick and chewy. Food's fish stew with bread." She seems to be trying very hard not to look at you.

Fort: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (8) + 7 = 15 A bell-tone rings out in the pit, dislodging some coins and the snake-man seems to waver, looking momentarily stunned!

Soran for Round 2, and everyone for Round 3, as the foe is all discombobulated.

Dungeoneering, actually!

There is a sudden pile of goblin limbs, bodies and flatulence, which resolves into a circle of goblin whelps, all arranged comically around the un-touched spider, who clacks his fangs a couple times to make sure they still work.

"You miss the Many-Legs! You might be goblin after all..." Loptop adds in an awed voice.

Try again?

Who would you like to ask for a place to stay? I need posts that are more than a sentence, guys. I need engagement.

Mikail's nimble dodge sends him to the side, while his readied attack hits, but his subsequent attack misses!

Soran, Zolarus and Ferabras are up! Hoshiko, failing the Will Save doesn't consume your round; it's only a brief flash that you see. You can still act as normal.

Going once! Going twice!

"Step up!" Loptop barks.

I need a CMB check, followed by a Dexterity roll!

"Nuff talk! Line 'em up!" Loptop wades among the whelps, knocking you lot into a rough line. She walks along the line, sizing you up like a drill sergeant, while the rest of the tribe forms a spectator circle around you.

"You is all small and weak! Too weak to be Licktoads! But we is gonna see if maybe there is some goblins among you.... LONGSHANKS!" She sneers as she says the word of a hated and ridiculed foe. "First task you gotta go is Tie the Leash on the Lotsa-Legs!" She nods and at the far end of the open circle a goblin steps forward with a large basket, which he dumps unceremoniously on the ground. Out tumbles a spider the size of a goblin's head, all hairy legs and skitter. The crowd lets out a low gasp of awe.

Loptop grins evilly. She holds up a length of rope. "All you gotta do is tie this leash on that Lotsa-Legs. Who is gonna be brave enough to try?"

Once upon a time, in a very different place, there lived four goblins whose exploits were destined to become legend. Or perhaps cautionary tales...

You are goblins of the Licktoad Tribe. Or at least you will be someday. For now, though, you’re whelps—ravenous, amoral, grumpy goblin children who learned to stop eating rocks only a few months ago. But with every day that passes, your whelping cage seems smaller and smaller. The outside world increasingly beckons to your goblin curiosity (and appetite), but the hateful cage bars holds you at bay.

A few other whelps flourish in the cage, even as the smaller and weaker ones are thinned out. Kettlehead stands literally head and shoulders above the competition, being a goblin of impeccable flatulence and having already fashioned himself an impressive hat from a teapot left lying too close to the cages. Even adult goblins—legendary Chief Rendwattle Gutwad among them—have taken note of Kettlehead and his advanced skills of poking the rest of you with sticks and delivering bruise-inducing noogies.

But today is special. Today, instead of a bucket of fish heads, whelp-wrangler Loptop brought a key and unlocked the door to your cage, spilling you sorry lot into the world for the first time. Other Licktoads gather around, eyeballing you and chewing on the fish heads that should have been yours. “You all are too big for cages,” Loptop snorts. “But you’re not Licktoads yet. Licktoads gotta be useful. Licktoads gotta be tough! Licktoads gotta earn their places in the tribe. And that’s what you’re gonna do now! Show us where you belong, even if that ends being the boneyard!”

Alright, let's get going!

It's thirty feet to the coins from the top. From where Ferabras is he can see handholds in the stone wall that would make climbing in and out of the pit relatively easy.

No need for stat bars due to pre-gens. And feel free to dot in!

No, the modules are made for the pre-gens, so modifications on these guys is a no.

After rolling a lottery, Oddler Oddrik, you are the next contestant on the Goblin is Righ.... OH GAWD IT'S EATING MY FACE!

Would Oddler, Zinta, Tundram and Luurg please report to the discussion thread for intense goblining?

Soran delays while the others talk. I need a Will save from everyone!

If you fail a DC 18:
You feel a gentle pressure on your mind, like the wind you feel when someone passes you in a crowd. However, you also experience a series of quick flashes of memory. You can see a dark place, where you float, weightless and timeless. You see an image of a beautiful Elven woman in white, holding aloft an amulet that you instinctively recognize as the proper key. Behind her cower several other figures in iron masks. You feel yourself being drawn back to the timeless place, to await once again until you're needed. You feel a sense of torment as you know that not even death can save you from it; should you die you'll just reform there, waiting until there is need of your service again.

There is a word of magic and the sudden smell of ozone as a lightning bolt shoots from below to hit Ferabras and Mikail! Electricity: 7d6 ⇒ (6, 3, 3, 3, 3, 6, 6) = 30 damage, Reflex DC 16 for half! And suddenly there is something visible in the dancing lights below, a creature! A sharp-featured humanoid head crowns the powerful, sinuous body of this snake-like monstrosity.

Heroes are up!

You are correct, Sir Ferabras! The amulet does indeed serve as the key to the city of gold!

Mikail sends lights down into the pit, illuminating many, many coins but nothing with a voice!

"None shall pass without the key..." hisses the voice from below.

Zinta makes three!

Alright, that's two players in! Two more to go!

This is probably a discussion to take place in the Recruitment thread of the actual game and not here. But yes, B1 and B4 are replayable under certain circumstances.

No, there's no reason except then you can apply all four parts to the same character. If you didn't want to, that's fine, but I still insist you be able to play all 4 (Or come up with a clever situation ala Tundran and JAFO above.)

JAFO and Tundran, go ahead and check in on the recruitment thread. I'll treat you guys as a single applicant.

Wei Ji the Learner wrote:

Are B4 and WBG L1-2 or L1?

B1 and B4 are 1-2.

I have an idea. A complete run of We Be Goblins, starting with B4 followed by 1,2&3. Ideally a PC would start with 3xp on normal track and be able to apply all four chronicle sheets to the same character. A goblinitious malhavocial mayhem, if you will.

What I need is warm bodies. You must have a PC at exactly 3 XP, be able to commit to the time necessary to play all 4 games and be willing to be zonko without being murderous toward your fellow PCs. If you are able, please post in the Recruitment Thread. Post there and I'll hold a lottery if necessary

Who's in?

Check in. I will need the following:

PFS Number:
Slow or Regular track:
Preferred Goblin:

We can keep the same goblin throughout the cycle or swap each adventure to give everyone a chance to play each goblin hero. However I will need any applicants to be able to commit for all 4 adventures. I will not accept anyone who cannot.

My expectations: Post daily during the week, once on the weekends. If you will gone for more than 24 hours, post a message letting us know. If something unexpected occurs, post as soon as you can. Life happens. I hope to keep up a brisk pace, as idle goblins are terrible goblins.

Note: This being a goblin game I expect some inter-party mayhem, but try to keep it light and non-lethal. No one likes a murderer.

I want this to be a Gonzo game, but I want it first and foremost to be a FUN game. Keep that in mind.

I propose the following adventure: Start with a PFS character with exactly 3 XP and play all 4 We Be Goblins straight through, beginning with We B4 Goblins, then We Be Goblins 1, 2 and 3. At the end the PFS character receiving the credit should have 7 XP and a lot of Goblin-chutzpah!

A hissing voice echoes through the room, "Bound by the Master, none shall pass without the key..."

Zolarus blesses while Ferabras and Mikail readies themselves!

Soran and Hoshiko are up!

The shape suddenly disappears with a whisper of arcane words!


Ferabras: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (7) + 1 = 8
Hoshiko: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (5) + 5 = 10
Mikail: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (4) + 5 = 9
Zolarus: 1d20 ⇒ 17
Soran: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (5) + 3 = 8
Serpent-Dude: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (20) + 5 = 25

Round 1:

There is a sudden sound as coins shift below you!

Heroes are up!

Luking in the shadows below in the pit of coins, you see a large serpentine shape. You cannot be sure but you think it has the body of a snake and the head of a person? I have added its location on the map in the form of a pale grey square!

Yes, using the rope is a Climb check.

The wharf is full of sailors milling around, coiling ropes and checking nets. They look up as Bjorn approaches, but these sailors seem much less inclined to stare than their landed brethren. Bjorn finds a spot under the docks that's shadowed and yet peaceful despite the sound of feet above him.

What are Caesare and Sonny doing?

So far no one can see anything in the pit aside from mounds of golden coins and a few small gemstones mixed in.

1 to 50 of 5,661 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | next > last >>

©2002-2017 Paizo Inc.® | Privacy Policy | Contact Us
Need help? Email or call 425-250-0800 during our business hours, Monday through Friday, 10:00 AM to 5:00 PM Pacific time.

Paizo Inc., Paizo, the Paizo golem logo, Pathfinder, the Pathfinder logo, Pathfinder Society, Starfinder, the Starfinder logo, GameMastery, and Planet Stories are registered trademarks of Paizo Inc. The Pathfinder Roleplaying Game, Pathfinder Campaign Setting, Pathfinder Adventure Path, Pathfinder Adventure Card Game, Pathfinder Player Companion, Pathfinder Modules, Pathfinder Tales, Pathfinder Battles, Pathfinder Online, Starfinder Adventure Path, PaizoCon, RPG Superstar, The Golem's Got It, Titanic Games, the Titanic logo, and the Planet Stories planet logo are trademarks of Paizo Inc. Dungeons & Dragons, Dragon, Dungeon, and Polyhedron are registered trademarks of Wizards of the Coast, Inc., a subsidiary of Hasbro, Inc., and have been used by Paizo Inc. under license. Most product names are trademarks owned or used under license by the companies that publish those products; use of such names without mention of trademark status should not be construed as a challenge to such status.