O.L.L.I's page

My good friend, I would please me tremendously if you would call this unit Vik, it's indeed so much trouble to say my full name. I am setting out on a great adventure to see the planes. May I ask why you have come here, sir?"

O.L.L.I blinks once and takes a small sip of his Medium Clockwork Oil.

"I am in this Inn to acquire, sift and coallate information, what the inhabitants of this unit's adopted city call 'darks'. This unit has found that information collection is a lucrative business. This unit also promised to buy his co-worker a drink."

O.L.L.I gestures over at Shactal

" What type of adventure are you currently on new friend Vik?"

I would imagine right about now is when the pandemonium of Smokey's action in imbibing a drink built on viper tree venom and larvae chunks would be occuring

"Do you mind if I take a seat young lady? Greetings My Modron friend, many blessings!"

O.L.L.I swivels his large eyes to the newcomer.

"Please take a seat noble sir. This unit's appelation is Oil Lube Initiallizer, but beings of his acquaintance call him O.L.L.I. May this unit have the pleasure of your appellation?"

Karrin turns back to Olli.

"Oh, that's who I work for," Karrin says to Olli, "they seemed to think that they were kinda a big deal or something, powerful I guess, and I'm supposed to wait here for instructions, so I was thinking that I should charge some of my food and drink to them, cuz they're making me wait and stuff. If I wrack up a huge tab then they might hurry with those instructions!

"So I was going to ask the serving lady here if I could open a tab, I mean otherwise they're asking me to provide my own room and board, which is their responsibility if I'm on retainer for them. I mean I gotta pay if I'm between employers, but they're asking me to say here, so I figure they should pick up some of the expenses. I gotta pay for drinks but they should pay for food."

O.L.L.I shifts in his seat a bit

" This unit has not made the acquaintence of the being known as Spiral Hal'oigt, but he hears many things about him and his trading company."

O.L.L.I gazes over at Karrin

"He is a very powerful merchant prince in Sigil. He is known to hire many mercenaries, and the information that this unit has heard places many of his transactions on the Lower Planes. One can surmise from these two facets of information that the cargo he delivers is sensitive and attracts attention that requires an armed response."

O.L.L.I puts his hand over Karrin's sauce-smeared digits

"Please be careful friend Karrin."

"Oh!" Karrin says reaching into her coin purse, "do you know someone named 'Spiral Hal'oigt' of the 'Planar Trade Consortium'?"

O.L.L.I looks up at the mention of Spiral.

"This unit has heard of the being called Spiral Karrin."

"I'm gon'ta need ta see some jink to settle up the tab so far cutters."

"Allow this unit to make restitution on the balance noble server."

O.L.L.I rummages through a small pouch on his bandoleer, emerging with a handful of gear-shaped gold coins

"Please keep whatever is extra as a token of your dedicated service."

O.L.L.I raises his hand

"Another Clockwork Medium Grade Oil if you would be so kind."

"-aunt ek-ert?" she asks with a mouth full of nachos.

"Yes. A Jaunt expert is basically a being that has dedicated its' effort into mastering the functioning of the various portals that tunnel the substructure of the multiverse. Many of them are very knowlegeable about portals to Prime Material realms. This unit knows a scholar in Sigil named Tripicus who specializes in Prime Material realms; when this unit returns to Sigil he will ask about your home realm of Oerth."

"Why is eating so dangerous Olli?" she asks before quickly stripping the meat from the bone with her sharp teeth (getting some of the sauce on her mouth and the tip of her nose in the process).

"This unit is afraid that is one area where he has scant experience Karrin. This unit as a living construct isn't required to ingest anything other than an occasional pint of oil to maintain optimal functioning. This unit has always found the ingestion of animal parts slightly alarming, but he realizes that humanoids need to do this to survive."

O.L.L.I turns to Ashura

"Perhaps you can hire the services of a Jaunt expert to discover the location of the portal back to your world. Trying to locate a portal on your own can be difficult to accomplish."

O.L.L.I finishes the last of his Medium Grade Clockwork Oil

"The cooked animal parts you are ingesting look to be likely a type of vestigial bird wing. This unit would calculate this at a 98.76% probability. This unit has read that mammilian humanoids that ingest bird bones run a high risk of damage due to choking."

O.L.L.I wanders back to his friend's table after greeting Thorn. As he approaches, he sees his new friend Karrin happily devouring her own weight in Buffalo wings, bones and all.

"Friend Karrin, this unit is not too familiar with humanoid digestion apparatus, but he had heard it was dangerous to eat poultry bones."

O.L.L.I plops down in the space between Ashura and Karrin

"Friend Ashura you have been quiet, are your functions running optimally?"

O.L.L.I walks up to Thorn and gravely shakes his hand

"Honored library patron Thorn, it is a pleasure to see you. This unit is happy to see that you and Shactal are conversing in a constructive manner, arguments are fundamentally chaotic and therefore should be avoided if possible. Besides the incident was primarily a function error in explanation on the part of this unit. This unit should have explained in greater detail about the Lady's Library's no lending policy to the Thorn Unit."

O.L.L.I swivels to look at Shactal

"As for this unit getting his co-worker to chill, this unit doesn't believe that he has the magical strength to enhance any of Shactal's icy qualities. This unit believes this would be analogous to 'bringing a torch to the Elemental Plane of Fire' as one library patron once described a similar situation."

O.L.L.I glances back to where the dice game is shaping up

"Oh! New friend Karrin, please excuse this unit for a moment. There is a bariaur unit that this unit is familiar with and greetings are in order."

O.L.L.I heaves himself off his chair and begins to make his way to the gaming area.

... Karrin says with a beeming smile, "so that's all there is to being autonomous . . ."

" Indeed Karrin, this unit attempts to stay positive and use the extra span that Law has seen fit to give him to improve himself. While this unit is incapable of deriving pleasure from many things that other beings do, he still can feel pleasure and happiness. The thrill of a new fact found, the glow of accomplishment, the meeting of a new friend, all of these things are what this unit does to stave off any feelings of hopelessness. Law rules all, and Law is incapable of error. Therefore, this unit still has some unrevealed function to execute in Law's Grand Design."

O.L.L.I smiles at Karrin

"With good friends autonomy seems less oppressive."

O.L.L.I watches as his two young companions talk. He seems to be ready to say something, but the quick flow of conversation fuddles him a bit

" Ashura unit, this unit is flawed, but he is attempting to regain his optimal parameters even though his place in the Clockwork Nirvana will never be regained. This unit considers it a point of pride, if he understands the concept of pride correctly."

O.L.L.I turns to Karrin

" Programming is the force of Law suffused into your thoughts. You are not an autonomous being, you are a subset of a larger grouping, a part of a whole. Perhaps the best analogy this unit can give you is the feeling of 'community' that many beings claim to feel when surrounded by beings of a common ancestry and physical type. Programming guides you through the course of your duties and obliviates the need for individualistic choices. One's superiors decide for you and you obey. There is no dissent, the programming provides for your compliance. Many beings react with disdain to this type of existence, but this unit remembers it as a time of peace and joy where he was fufilling a duty that aided and supported the whole of the Modron race."

O.L.L.I sighs, a low bleeping sound.

"Unfortunately the severing from the Source this unit experienced only left him with impressions and feelings, not memories. It is lonely sometimes being an autonomous being."

Karrin listens to everything Olli says, nodding gravely at his words, but probably not understanding much of it. She perks up at the last bit though:

"Wow, really? You mean like I could just go through one of these doors and find paradise? You think we could sneak into heaven? That would be a lot less work," she says seeming to contemplate the possibility, "You really have a lot of good ideas Olli thank you. I think I'll take you up on that offer Olli, the spiritual guard thing, I think you'd be a better influence for me then Eir . . . she's nice and all, but I don't think she has very good morals . . ."

She briefly considers, telling Olli something, but then remembering something about manors, decides better of it.

"Besides she never told me about this back door to heaven. Always good to have a back up plan! Thanks Olli, if you find out about Rao you could take my confessions proper and give me penitence or something, and I can help you be more anonymous."

O.L.L.I bobbles his body in an approximation of a nod

"When this unit next travels to the Lady's Library for his work period he will attempt to assimilate any knowlege contained there on your deity Rao and his rituals. This unit is intrigued by your descriptions, and perhaps he will be able to assist you in your confession diagnostic. This unit appreciates your offer in assisting him to blend in as well. It is something that this unit bends his intellect to on a regular basis, but it is difficult to behave as an autonomous being."

O.L.L.I sips a bit more oil

"As to the access to 'heaven' question, this unit will attempt to pinpoint Rao's realm on the Great Wheel and perhaps see if there is a portal that is easily accesible in Sigil that would lead you to it. This unit would advise that perhaps a bit more experience is needed before undertaking such a journey. From the legends and stories that this unit has assimilated, the path to the realm of a power is often fraught with danger. Often malfunctioning units, called the 'unworthy' by the power, can be denied access or set upon with realm guardians. When this unit has discovered the proper information he will apprise you of it."

That makes sense (I think)," she says scratching her head, "but I was hoping to run into another priest of Rao, cuz I need a spiritual adviser, you know it's been over three years sense my last confession and I've racked up some doosies!" Karrin grabs a mug and quickly drains it of it's contents, "Father always says that sin weighs down the soul or puts spots on it or something like that and the only way to unburden or clean it is to go to confession and stuff, and I'm thinking that if I ever get to heaven I better have a pretty pure soul cuz most people see the horns and think the worst. I think if I do lots of good things I can get an edge but there's also rules and I need to go to confession to show that I know I broke rules and to show that I'm sorry about it."

Karrin uses her long slightly pointed tongue to lick out the bottom of the mug. Then after making sure there's not a drop left she turns back to Olli, "How is your god on forgiveness?" she asks.

O.L.L.I ponders the young tiefling's question

"It appears to this unit that your deity is concerned with lapses in the set order of his rules. By repeating the rules to you he is attempting to set up a positive feedback loop that will improve your compliance. While Law is rigid, it does hold that chaotic units can become Lawful with the proper discipline. Perhaps by neccessitating some form of confession your deity is attempting to have you perform an interior spiritual diagnostic check on your own soul. Remember that even flawed units can contribute to the eventual triumph of Law. If this unit did not believe this, he would have allowed himself to be disassembled on Mechanus years ago. If you cannot find the proper spiritual diagnostician, this unit would be happy to attempt to perform the service for you."

O.L.L.I's large mouth quirks upward in a grin

"Besides young unit Karrin, you are closer to your deity's 'heaven' now than you ever were on the Prime Material Plane. Perhaps one day you can go visit his realm and ask his avatar personally if you have achieved enough forgiveness to become a petitioner there."

Yep. Marya will almost certainly have rejected Thorn’s rather lewd and unsubtle advances, leading to the bariaur becoming suitably surly and chaotic – which might just spark Olli’s interest. Of course, Thorn has no love for the Harmonium, so won’t be taken with Olli’s association with them, but he’ll probably find the little walking suitcase harmless enough.

Hey, I was thinking about the hammer issue – I have no problems with James allowing Olli to be proficient in it, but I was also thinking about another possible solution:

New weapon: Mechanus Gear Hammer. Does the same damage as a mace, but can be manipulated so that the gears start spinning fast, and it does bludgeoning AND slashing damage. Its an exotic or martial weapon, but modrons are proficient in it.

Yeah I figured perhaps Thorn and O.L.L.I could have met briefly as he hit on Marya shamelessly in O.L.L.I's presence, either on the street or perhaps at the Eyes of Elysium water bar. O.L.L.I is also probably pretty hard to miss, seeing as there can't be too many Modrons clanking about the Cage. While O.L.L.I might have an affinity for the Hardhead way of thinking, he will probably never get into the Harmonium due to his drawbacks (strength, dexterity, looks, etc.). I expect as his character progresses he might decide to gravitate over to the Fraternity of Order and try going at information and law from that angle.

As to the mace, it sounds like a neat concept, but James would have the final say. I was just thinking of a themed weapon, since O.L.L.I's stats martially are teh suck, and my dice rolling jinx seems to hold true even for virtual rolling :(

O.L.L.I is never going to be a smiting cleric.

So Thorn might have come across O.L.L.I in his wanderings –

I think since you have a soft spot for the ladies, perhaps a mutual friend in Marya Ambleton, the barwench from the Taker bar Tear of the Barghest? Assuming James will use her as an NPC of course.

"Wait," she says suddenly turning back to her new Modron friend, "you said priest right? What god?"

"This unit does not worship an individual planar being of power, those units known by many as "deities". Instead this unit meditates on the meaning of Law and its' function in the multiverse, and the power of Law grants this unit divine energy."

O.L.L.I shifts a bit to look up at Karrin.

"It is hard for many to believe, but divine power can be obtained from concepts rather than individuals. The process is more difficult, and requires discipline. After all, many beings like Modrons worship the concept of Law, so why wouldn't Law accumulate divine essence?"

"Thanks Olli," She says sliding Serpico's now empty mug back, "I got to get caught up with the kobold, he's downed two mugs already!" She glances over at the dart game, "I think he may have overdone it a bit though."

Karrin grabs her untouched mug (the one she ordered along with Serpico's mug), and quickly empties it's contents. "Aagh, that's good grog. Although good and grog don't really go together very well. What do you do Olli? Me I'm a Duskblade, good at magic and melee, but as a mercenary I know I need back up. Maybe we could work together and stuff."

O.L.L.I sips his oily drink meditatively

" Perhaps Karrin. This unit is always looking for units of strong martial aspect to accompany. Since achieving autonomy, this unit has concentrated on becoming a cleric so as to perform a valuable healing and protection service to any group that he allies with. This unit was unfortunately not given any strength or dexterity upgrades so he must perforce make himself useful as a secondary support unit."

O.L.L.I gestures sheepishly to his arms which resemble a collection of thin brass pipes and cables of copper with a pink flash of flesh mixed in

"S'ok Olli," Karrin says with a big toothy smile, "Father always said I had a big heart . . ." she quickly frowns and looks down in to Serpico's empty mug, "But I guess I'm not to good with the other stuff, following the rules and that sort of thing, Father was always yelling at me 'don't lie'" she says doing an impersonation of someone (probably this father she speaks of), "'eat your vegetables, say your prayers, do your chores, and stop mocking me!'" Karrin lets out a tiny sigh, "it's funny how much you miss even the annoying things when they're gone."

O.L.L.I smiles at Karrin.

"This unit understands how it can be when a phase of life is ended. Perhaps you cannot appreciate it now, but your parental unit has attempted to plant within you the seeds to become a Lawful person. Perhaps they will germinate in time."

O.L.L.I notices Karrin's empty glass

"Allow this unit to refresh your preferred liquid."

O.L.L.I signals to Michifer

"Another unit of liquid alcohol for the female unit here publican."

You miss your home. Me too. I want to go home too . . . but I don't know were to look and I'm scared of becoming more lost. Seems to me all you need to find some lawful programing and replace it with the chaotic stuff. Maybe we could steal you some or something" Karrin says with a shrug, "I'm sure we could figure something out. I work for some mercenary types and I think we could totally find someone who knows how to get their hands on this programing. As to the other part, becoming an anonymous being . . . that doesn't sound impossible. Maybe I could help you? You might not believe it, but I'm totally smart and stuff, I can totally figer stuff out, and if that fails I'm real good at smashn' things! Serpico is a wizard, and Eir over there is a priest or something, maybe they could help as well."

O.L.L.I takes a small sip from his glass.

"Indeed your designation is a true one Karrin Kind. Much as this unit misses Mechanus, that phase of his existence is forever gone. The Hierarchy is never wrong, and they never reverse a descision once propagated. This unit has come to appreciate the value of autonomy, and he is happy to do his part for the cause of Law in an individual manner."

O.L.L.I smiles

"But this unit thanks you for your kind concern for his plight."

Wait," Karrin says scratching her head, "are you saying that your programing is wrong? I don't know what programing is but I don't see how things that are supposed to be perfect could develop flaws. Father said that we had to constantly work at being good, I don't know why this is," she says glancing over at the Kobold before taking another sip out of his mug, "but I don't understand why people think that god could make someone imperfect by mistake . . ."

She slides Serpico's Mug back to it's original spot.

"I don't know. I don't understand any of it. Father always says things happens for a reason," Karrin shrugs. "Maybe Rao made me a the way I am cuz he's got some plan . . ." she squints, as if trying to grasp at something deep and profound, but whatever it was it quickly escapes her, and Karrin shrugs and turns back to the unattended mug of grog. "Boy that Kobold can really pack it away! He's almost finished off two mugs of grog sense we started talking. I'm still working on my first!"

O.L.L.I dabs his eyes with an ink-stained rag and blows his nose with a whirling bleep sound

"What this unit has discovered is that Chaos by its random nature is easier to generate and sustain than Law. Things of Law can easily become chaotic, but things of Chaos rarely become Lawful. This unit would like to become one with his race again, but Modron Doctrinal Code 435-6675-0115x clearly states that any Modron unit with flaws in its programming should be disassembled before the chaotic programming can spread to other units."

O.L.L.I shrugs his spindly arms

"This unit can only now uphold Law in the fashion of an autonomous being."

"I forget the point I was trying to make. Anyways," she says scratching her head, "seems to me that if we all followed programing then there'd be no laws right? Does that make any sense?

O.L.L.I listens gravely to the bubbly tiefling

"Indeed unit Karrin, if every member of the multiverse was bound by programming then we would have no need for laws, then the laws would be us."

O.L.L.I gives an approximation of a sigh

"Unfortunately even in a perfect logical system, flaws can develop."

O.L.L.I points to himself

"Although many beings of this unit's acquaintance tell him that he is extremly orderly and lawful, his abberant programming makes him as chaotic as mating Slaadi to his native race. This unit can never rejoin the Source of All."

O.L.L.I sighs again as an oily fluid stats to well in his large round eyes.

"Hi ya," Karrin says Cheerfully, "I'm Karrin Kind. Pleased ta meet ya! Um, what are you . . . I hope you don't mind me asking . . ."

O.L.L.I places his amber drink down at the table and shakes Karrin's hand gravely. He the pulls a seat out and sits down.

"This unit's racial designation is Modron. This unit's race is native to the Outer Plane known as Mechanus. Mechanus is a very ordered place, where knowlege is gathered, processed and analyzed so as to maximize the rule of Law. Occasionally Modrons are called upon by our superiors to take part in a tour of the multiverse to gather current information for processing. Recently there was a march that did not fall in the expected timeframe. This unit was part of the abberant tour, now commonly known as the Rogue March. After returning to Mechanus after several years of planar travel, this unit had accrued several serious flaws in his programming. Flaws in programming are not tolerated in Mechanus, so this unit was redesignated a Rogue Modron. Thanks to a close portal this unit was able to flee from the Pentadrone that was sent to escort him to the disassembly cog. Eventually this unit made his way to Sigil to attempt to reprogram himself as an autonomous being."

O.L.L.I rises from his table and wanders over to the ongoing dart game. Not finding a lot of interest in the random contest, he wanders towards his friend Ashura Yami and her new companion

" Honored unit Ashura. This unit would like if you could tender his apologies to your construct associate. It was not this unit's intention to disturb her slumber."

O.L.L.I swivels to Ashura's new friend

"Please allow this unit to make his designation known to you. This Unit is designated as an Oil Lubrication Initializer, but his flesh associates prefer the acronym O.L.L.I. May this unit have your designation?"

O.L.L.I spots his new friend Ashura Yami and waves to her from across the bar

Shactal glances up, then back to the fulminating green-colored pitcher of liquid he was dipping his sensory tentacles into

OK ... rough draft of the new bio questions posted. Am working on a few contacts, etc. for O.L.L.I, hope to have them up here soon.

I'm not too set on the hammer, like you said it's just for the feel. If you want, I can put my next feat towards it when I get a new one. Like you said, I doubt that O.L.L.I is going to be a damage-dealing smiting the unworthy type of cleric :P

OK, after the website ate my first attempt, I think I have patched up a lot of the holes in O.L.L.I. James, when you get a moment, take a look at the gear and make sure it all meets with your approval. I am pretty sure there is nothing too controversial there :)

O.L.L.I emerges from the back hallway and spots Shactal

"Honored co-worker Shactal! This unit is happy you have arrived! Please be seated and state your beverage preference to the publican and this unit will assume the cost."

The unlikely pair sit at a table and order a round of drinks

Not every unit is chaotic ...

“Oh no! You must have tried to initialise while the diagnostic was still running! Quick, help me Olli!” She runs through the doorway, and over to one of the control panels.

“Alright … ok Olli, we got a leak in the coolant hose, I’ll start shutting it down – as soon as that yellow light there stops blinking, uncouple that hose ok?”

O.L.L.I hurries after his new friend despite his misgivings about facing such a fearsome opponent. Grabbing the hose Ashura had indicated, O.L.L.I waits for yellow light to stop blinking. When it does he detaches the hose and is covered in a bitter cold fog.

"Th-th-this unit has not been so c-c-cold since his Modron Division crossed the Plane of Ice." shivers O.L.L.I, rattling in place and covered in hoar frost.

“Oh! Lil’ Olli!” Ashura comes running out of a nearby room, coming to a halt in front of the modron. “What happened? I was running a diagnostic on my Raptor, seeing if that little … if that grunt-girl did any damage when she removed the gladius beam – sounds like something’s gone wrong!”

O.L.L.I lurches to a halt in front of the young woman

"Small female known as Ashura, this unit attempted to open a rapport with the construct in the room, but ..."

O.L.L.I gestures back at the door to the mecha's room. Ear-splitting sirens and klaxons howl incessantly. A smell of ozone and melting plastic filters into the hallway from the half-open door.

"This unit is afraid that somehow he has angered the sleeping construct. Now the angered construct is preparing a sonic blast spell to reduce this unit into scrap."

O.L.L.I's eyes spin in their sockets and his arms twich spasmodically as he attempts to control his fear.

O.L.L.I clanks down the narrow corridor at the back of the inn's common room. After pausing a moment in curiosity at a door where various loud crashes, bangs, squeals and barnyard sounds are issuing, he continues to the last door on the right. Opening the door, he beholds an impressive gleaming humanoid-shaped mass of chrome and steel crouched at the center of a large-vaulted cavernous room. Respectfully he approaches.

"Greetings fellow construct. This unit is known as Oil Lube Initializer, or O.L.L.I by most flesh creatures. Do you have an appelation that you are known by?"

O.L.L.I waits in silence for several minutes

"Query. Are you in distress? Is there any assistance I can render to you?"

O.L.L.I approaches and puts out a tentative hand

"Query. Are you functioning correctly? Are you in need of oil or some sort of energy supply?"

As O.L.L.I circles the silent mecha, he accidentally bumps against several tubes and wires that attach the machine to a large cabinet with dancing lights flickering over its glassy skin. A wailing siren erupts from the cabinet and flashing red lights begin winking over both the cabinet and the mecha's control board. O.L.L.I stumbles back in surprise

"This unit apologizes for disturbing your rest. Please remain calm and I will leave you in peace."

O.L.L.I quickly leaves the room as the sirens rise in pitch and klaxons begin to add their hooting to the cacophanous chorus

Ha pulls our her sidearm, removes all ammo and slides it over to OLLI.

"Look, a lot of you guys in here are packing stuff that's just... medieval. What you need is one of these. Winchester, planet Earth, buddy. It shoots 12.7 mm chucks of depleted uranium that rip soft fleshies to pieces and all you gotta do is push the button."

"Even better, go down the hall and out the last door on the right and you'll find some serious badness. You guys probably shoot magic arrows and fireballs, right? Yah? You know what I'm talkin'. Well girl here (points at Ashura) has a frickin' mecha. Mechanical like you but way, way bigger and shootin' stuff that burns armies to cinders."

O.L.L.I examines the profffered sidearm.

"I have read several treasties on these types of weapons in the Lady's Library. Chemical-propulsive using either a charcoal/saltpeter/sulphur chemical compound, jewler's rouge or concentrated super-heated matter in a plasma form. Unfortuantely these weapons do not function in approximately 85% of the Prime Material Plane. While this is an impressive example, it is too specific and esoteric for this unit's needs. I am intrigued by the existence of another living construct in this zone. I must investigate further."

O.L.L.I wanders off towards the back hall

“Be careful lil’ robo,” calls Ashura, somewhat grumpily. “She likes taking things apart.”

"This unit thanks you for your concern, but unlike non-living constructs, this unit is prepared to defend its configurational integrity."

O.L.L.I fingers a large hammer chased with raised silvery clockwork gear symbols that hangs from a strange bandoleer arraingement strapped to his middle section

For everyones' perusal, I give you O.L.L.I. (version 1.0)

I think I did the 32 point buy correct (first timer). Here's the link
Stats Link

For James:

"This unit thanks you. Performance is often impaired when oil levels drop."

Olli places several small siver coins curiously shaped like gears on the bar's scarred countertop and begins to delicately sip the golden liquid served to him.

"This unit recognizes that juvenile humanoids are driven to understand things by disassembly. If you wish to study this unit's schemata, there is a less painful method."

Olli opens a small panel on his left side and hands a battered tome to Ha 442.

"this tome is the official Manual of Basic Modron Configuration as set forth by Primus Iteration XLII. "

"Ooooooh. It talks"

Pulls out her toolkit.

At the sight of the bristling toolkit, Olli lets out a piercing whine.

"Attention small humanoid. According to Sigilian Governing Code 2333-4455-56x revision 3a, alteration of a living construct without prior written consent of said living construct is a felony crime punishable by Maze exile or death. Any actions taken by a living construct to preserve its current configuration will be legally considered as self-defense."

A slighly comical square being with small vestigal wings seemingly made of metal stands uncertainly at the threshold of the inn, then advances to the bar.

"Query. Does this place of liquid and solid imbibement have a supply of Clockwork Medium-Grade Oil? I am in need of lubrication."