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So true. Throwbacks to the XX century should rest in peace. They could never optimize their way out of the shopping bag anyway. Give me a game where I can destroy human lives by posting builds on forums that display my absolute powergaming superiority over other sentient beings.
But but but I was watching some anime last night and the badass ninja was jumping between his enemies with no problem at all and why that's not in Pathfinder!!!!!1one11eleven
And and and when he swung his swords the enemies exploded and then he shouted HIYAAAA and a demon meteor fell from the sky and kill all bad guys and lol he was like level 4 cuz that was episode 5 of the series and whai dat not in game?
Matthew Morris wrote:
TYPICAL PAIZO CUSTOMER, POLLUTING THE GENE POOL OF OUR SPECIES!
James Sutter wrote:
Thanks, everyone! And don't worry--the fact that this book coincided with John Carter was a nice bonus, but this book was conceived long before any of us knew that movie was in the works. :) More products about Golarion's solar system will depend entirely on fan demand...
I mean, SERIOUSLY.
I HATE dwarves. They are a silly race of drunken idiots who would never go out of their alcoholic stupor to achieve anything IRL.
I HATE elves. They are band of effete pony lovers who can't get their balls straight, you know why? NO BALLS.
I HATE humans. Just look at them. Ridiculous. How can they even walk straight?
I HATE halflings. Look, seriously, Tolkien should have just sued your socks off for knocking off his work.
I HATE gnomes. Get your stupid anime out of my pristine, cherished pseudo-medieval European fantasy and now.
I HATE half-orcs. My aunt Petunia read about them by accident, and you know what? I've had a lecture about how young 30yr old boys like me shouldn't learn difficult words like "rape" yet. Thanks for nothing, Piazo.
I HATE half-elves. No really, can you even imagine how they come to exist?
I HATE Druids. Tree-hugging? Really? OLOLOLOL. Am I supposed to play that? No, really? And animals? Is this pokemon, or a traditional fantasy game? Gygax would laugh at you.
I HATE Barbarians. Again, what's up with you writers? That oversized sword? Rage? RAGE? What do you know about RAGE? My uncle John can come and punch you in the face, then you'll see what rage is.
I HATE Fighters. Look now... This is a fantasy game. Am I to be serious bringing a baurdich-gosamme or some other stupid French word to a magical battle?
I HATE Clerics. Clerics should be sitting in temples and going yadda yadda, NOT running around in chainmail hitting folks on the head with maces. Have you ever seen a priest do so? Me neither.
I HATE Bards. The mere thought of some silly prancing boy with a lute makes me laugh. Sadly, the designers thought otherwise...
I HATE Paladins. Two words, Paladin alignment. Nuff said.
I HATE Sorcerers. Lobotomized poor man's Wizards, olololol.
I HATE Wizards. Glorified Sorcerers yet still inferior to spontaneous casters in every way. Charisma as primary stat, UMD on skill list and no stupid spellbooks for me, every day!
I HATE Rogues. Rolling buckets of dice for sneak attack while my buddies are stuck rolling 1 die for damage is NOT GOOD BALANCE!
I HATE Rangers. Cheap World of Warcraft knockoffs who even can't pick my fave animal (crab) as a companion. Also, they can't pick guns as weapons. WTF?
I HATE Monks. Friar Tuck called to say what Monks really look like. Eastern poisoning of my fantasy continues.
I HATE Alchemists. Look now, an alchemist is a guy who sits in his labs and brew Cure Light Wounds potions, not some turbo bomber.
I HATE Oracles. Lame. LAME, GEDDIT! Duuuh, you folks are too dense to read my brilliant jokes.
I HATE Inquisitors. I've played WH40K and I know what an Inquistor is. Let me tell you - he's an Imperial badass in power armor. The fact that Games Workshop didn't sue Paizo for use of the name yet is beyond my comprehension.
I HATE Cavaliers. I mean, if I wanted to play a knight I'd go paladin, right? I'd just agree with my GM that he is a Paladin of Sodomy and we would be a-ok, no need for a new class for that.
I HATE Witches. I mean, I'm OK with girl witches, but can you imagine a man in a pointy hat with a broom? Is this some kind of joke?
I HATE Ninjas and Samurai. I think I've said this before: GET YOUR EASTERN CRAP OUT OF MY FANTASY.
I HATE Gunslingers. Take the above sentence and replace EASTERN with WILD WEST. Geddit?
I HATE Maguses. Eldritch Knight was perfectly fine, why the hell a new class for gishes? And let me tell you - gish players are the worst type. They constantly try to woo each other at the table. NO THANKS.
I HATE Summoners. Pokemon+Final Fantasy+lots of math. A traditional gamer's nightmare.
That was a totally serious post, BTW. Nothing works me up like some close-minded SCA neckbeards.
I dislike every class that is in any way connected with that ridiculous thing called "Europe". Really, how am I to take seriously some idiot in plate armor? Who's swinging some barbaric piece of metal only incidentally called "a sword"? European swords were a a pale shade of what glory Japanese smiths could bring forth with their katanas. It doesn't fit with my anime-inspired vision of fantasy at all, and I would really prefer for all those "western" elements to be excised forever. Sadly, there are far too many folks out there who are hung up on their outdated "sword and sorcery" ideas, or even worse, that Tolkien guy. Sheesh. Bring on my guns and katanas!
Twin Agate Dragons wrote:
It's the act of removal that matters. It shows the total lack of regard for the weakest 3.5 class. Next to powerhouses such as 3.5 Paladin and Truenamer, the Cleric was a sad joke. Pathfinder just finished him off.
The illustration of Arazni is a blatant cheesecake objectification of women. Myself, as a single 30-year old male am fully confident that dignity of ladies worldwide has been violated to the point that NAMBLA (North American Modest Breast Liberation Association) must be notified ASAP.
(That was with Sarcasm Mode On, in case anybody wonders).
I think that Pathfinder completely destroyed the game by taking away heavy armor proficiency from Clerics. I mean, it makes the class useless. In 3.5, I could wear my full plate, swing my Gnome Hooked Halberd (Exotic Weapon Proficiency is sweet !) and turn that pesky lich (really - I rolled the dice and, he, like, totally exploded !).
But Pathfinder took that all away from me, and now I'm left with my sorrowful tears.