Mr. O'Brien, RM 101's page

Mark Twain's seminal novel gets a rewrite to remove offensive language

Up next, Stephen King's complete collection will be reworked to remove all the F-bombs and N-words; since he's the world's most-read author. After that, we'll just go alphabetical...

Also up for revision, the Bible...

Save in cases of chemical change where neural pathways are significantly altered, as in cases of anyreuism, whatever you do you are predisposed to do it. The religious often espouse that all things are by the will of God. The less religious might hold that all things happen as a matter of genetics. Choices and decisions in life are influenced by environmental conditions, true, but the predilection to choose one way or another can often be reasonably assumed based on genetic disposition. Social normalizing occurs based on the society, but the decision to be more adventurous or less so has more to do with marker R18812 than with whether or not your immediate or extra social order demands it be so.

Thus, even the individual who seems to experience a life-altering episode reacts just as his genetics predisposed him to act.

OK, let me tell you what is really irritating about all this: the half-baked references to 1984. What happened here has no remote connection to the novel or any of the ideas Orwell presented. None, whatsoever.

Secondly, the hyperbole and ridiculous alarmist phraseology, Google was "secretly collecting your private data," along with all the sensationalist CIA comparisons, does nothing but encourage ignorant raving by people who only remember the headline 10 minutes after scanning the article.

Here's a few of my favs:

1. If it's clean when you walk in (like the stovetop or counter, for example), it's clean when you walk out.

2. If it doesn't belong to you, don't touch it, or eat it, or drink it, or use it.

3. If it's a reasonable time to be quiet (like 10 PM), be quiet.

4. If you stand up, don't piss on the rim, the floor, the seat, the baseboard, the tub, etc.

5. Flush the toilet.

6. Community property means community replacement.

7. If your room stinks, keep your door closed; if you stink, take a shower.

9. If no-one else in the house salts their language when they speak to you, keep all the f**+s and cocks to yourself.

10. Walk down the stairs at 0430 and 2300--don't run, in boots, while belching and farting.

11. If a bedroom door is closed, knock and wait.

12. You like football and you like to coach the teams from your easychair, in your loudest voice. Everyone else likes to read quietly, or sleep, or study, etc. Watch your game in decibels that do not escape your closed door, or use headphones; coach-at-a-distance in your mind or under your breath, or go to a pub and yell with all the other champs who had the decency to leave the house.

I enjoyed it, and my opinion is the only one that matters.

8. Establish a Ministry of Truth. This will be an enormous pyramidal structure of glittering white concrete rising 300 meters into the air, containing over 3000 rooms above ground. On the outside wall are the three slogans of the Police State Party: "War is Peace," "Freedom is Slavery," "Ignorance is Strength." There is also a large part underground, which contains huge incinerators where documents are destroyed after they are put down "memory holes"...

My guess is that it already has been done.

Good day to you, Mr. Sharoth; I'll put you to the question. Names, names, names; time-and-place, time-and-place.

No fuss, now! Please, come along, now. That's it; quietly is best.