How about this:
Play with your durable bolts and shuriken.
If a GM states that they are not legal, use them as regular bolts/shuriken (or have a few regular ones in case) and have the bard/cleric/druid/sorcerer/wizard cast "mending" on them (as they weight less than a pound each, they can be repaired by the 0 level spell).
Please note that the Core, page 141, ammunition section states that "generally speaking, ammunition that hits its target is destroyed or rendered useless, while ammunition that misses....". To me this means that the arrow/bolt is broken (can no longer be fired), the shuriken has warps in the points rendering it unstable in flight (hence, can no longer be thrown accurately). Thus the spell "mending" should be able to repair them (as you will have all of the pieces).
Would the suggestion above be acceptable to both current sides of the discussion?