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Ethereal Marauder

Miss Kitty's page

416 posts. Alias of Ambrosia Slaad.


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Tastes like gold and white!


Why did you pick up a level in necromancer, KC? It's a mechanically inferior class option.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
BigNorseWolf wrote:
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. the closer you get to the end the faster it goes.

{bats roll of toilet paper to watch it unspool on the floor} Therefore, it is reasonable to assume that "owning" (HA!) a cat shortens your life.


{horks up hairball on Sharoth, hugs the fuzzy matt}


One of the neighbors asked that we turn down the what. I didn't realize a what was that noisy.


{whispers:} I guess MoMo is sleeping in today.


{finally dislodges self from chimney} <WHUMP!>

Cough, cough, so what did I miss?


gran rey de los mono wrote:

I decided to get into the screenwriting business, but having no talent made that pretty difficult. Therefore, I decided to hire a bunch of employees to write the scripts for me. But people are too expensive, so I hired animals instead.

The horse was the first to turn in a script. It was ok, and I was tempted, but in the end I had to say neigh.

Next was the cow. Again, a decent script, but I asked for a TV show and she gave me a moo-vie.

The snake's first draft had too much skin, so I told him to shed it.

The elephant's script was fantastic. I'm sure it will really pachyderm the theaters.

The fish's script had so many spelling and grammar errors that I sent him back to school.

I had high hopes for the chimp's script, but it turned out she was monkeying around instead of writing.

The sheep's script was plagiarized. You can't pull the wool over my eyes.

Obviously, the skunk's script just stunk.

I hired a puppy as well, but she just piddled on the paper.

Hiss!


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Emperor Floyd wrote:
I Blame Cosmo for that silly vet saying that I should not go out anymore....sigh silly human.

I blame Cosmo that Kretzer hasn't built you a cardboard box tower yet.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

{disconnects from Matrix} Whoa. I know kung fu.

{shakes head to clear dumpshock fog} No... wait. I know Courtfool.


8 people marked this as a favorite.
Freehold DM wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
so it snowed Saturday night into yesterday morning, not much just 2 inches, and despite living in a city we have a nice little field behind our house (we're almost downtown too, which makes it even rarer!) so i took our Beagle Peaches out to chase field mice, and the dumb ass dog is sitting there digging into the snow and turf going after this field mouse den while literally 2 feet behind him 15-20 lil mice are popping out of one hole in the snow making a mad dash 10 feet to another hole, the whole time Peaches is completely oblivious to what happening behind him.
An excellent example of why I love snow and cats.

ARRRRRRRRRRRGH! ;)


Deep Rot wrote:
Emperor Floyd wrote:
Deep Rot wrote:
Emperor Floyd wrote:
Bring it Dog Boy.

... processing ...

TechNiCalLy HyENas Are MemBers Of The FeLiForm SubOrDer. Thus They Are FeLines Not CaNines. Dog Boy Would Be An InAcCurAte LaBel.

I was going with his name yellowDINGO.

... processing ...

ConFirmed. AckNowLedged. CorRecTion Filed. CarRy On.

I always assumed he was a dingo in a hyena costume, carrying on the tradition of dogs wearing costumes to frighten innocent food providers.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
yellowdingo wrote:
cannon fodder wrote:
yellowdingo wrote:
yellow things are a security threat to all cats
....you're yellow...
Shh! Im trying to get a matching set of fur for boots and you are scaring them away.

If you're just after fur for boots, just brush out some cats.

This may or may not be first step in creating a hairballmunculus.


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Emperor Floyd wrote:
I Blame Cosmo for allowing dogs to even post on the Pazio boards.

I blame Cosmo for Floyd's ignorance of the Poodle Lords.


Emperor Floyd wrote:

Instead I found a video of a obviously mental handicapped cat deal with a banana.

I am not amused.

Wha-?! The cat is not mentally handicapped; he/she is obviously toying with his/her prey to exhaustion before delivering the killing bite and devouring its potassium-rich flesh. Oranges, pumpkins, and watermelon are also fair game.

yellowdingo wrote:
You can claim your empire all you like but yellow things are a security threat to all cats. Look at them...just lying there ploting.

I think you have cats confused with the Green Lantern Corp. And I have it on good authority that red rings have no vulnerability to the color yellow or stupid Hollywood screenplays.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Freehold DM wrote:
I do know at least one person who I was acquainted with in high school was amazed that there were pigeons going uneaten in ny. To him, it was the same thing as herds of bovines going uneaten as they wandered through the street.

That's silly... everyone in NYC knows that the herds of bovines move silently beneath the streets.

And the herds of cats travel by pneumatic tubes.


Tin Foil Yamakah wrote:

Lesson learned from last nights PFS game, There are packs of chihuahuas running wild in northern mexico, apparently these "swarms" swell to over 1100 in size.

I am so using a chihuahua swarm against my group, just gotta figure out the particulars damage special abilities and such any suggestions

Chihuahuas get tremble as a free action.


Tiny Coffee Golem wrote:
Sharoth wrote:
Alleran wrote:
(So do cats, by the way. I'm quite certain that the only reason they don't evolve thumbs is because if they did, they'd have to do more work themselves.)
QFT
Cats with thumbs

You're all lucky most of us are drunk off our butts down here in the Keys.

{looks around for caretaker} You, Hoo-man! Fetch me another mojito and then move my chaise longue back into the sun.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Yelling Bird wrote:
ENJOY YOUR F##~ING TURKEY!

Wait, wha?! Turkey is for eating, not f~~$ing.

Unless you've been invited to the Poodle Lords clubhouse, in which case, EWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!


I am sorry for freaking out when I see a mirror.

And for my inner monologue being in French.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Adorable Fuzzball wrote:
Nyan Cat wrote:
Aberzombie wrote:
A cat uses its whiskers to determine if a space is too small to squeeze through.
And then we flip a coin, and on Tails, we try to squeeze in anyways.

And 75% of the time, make it anyway.

I love being an Ooze.

[/linkified]

Hmmm, a sentient slime mold-ish critter that oozes under doors and through mouseholes, and has a Small animal alternate form. "Waitaminute! That's not fur! Ewwww!"


The War on Unicorns is a psyops misdirection by the Illuminati Anunnaki/Reptilians to keep the sheeple from investigating the truth behind !!!!111!1Eleventy-One Dimensions/Yarn Theory.


3 people marked this as a favorite.
zylphryx wrote:
thunderspirit wrote:
Erik Keith wrote:
Vic Wertz wrote:

From last night:

[redacted]: Customer Service has gone home. I'm going to go through their stuff.

Trying to press the advantage while Cosmo is on vacation? I doubt they got past our impregnible defenses. Cosmo trained us to be prepared.
ARRGH! Cardboard fort! We are vanquished!

What, you don't have a +3 adamantine boxcutter?

Works great to defeat the power of cardboard defenses.

Packing tape of the Warehousers works even better if you just want to lay siege ...

Bah, we are well prepared for such defenses!

General Anh'Purr, notify Commander Fuzzytoes to dispatch two squads of the 501st Laser Cat Troopers.

Also, be alert for the two-legger Schneider. If he has somehow trapped himself in the warehouse this year, we must be ready to implement psy-ops again... we will need his thumbs to open all the tuna cans that The Bulmahn has hidden in the vault.


Is there any truth to the rumor that you, Honey Badger, and Taig will be in a new summer action film filled with Baysplosions, John Woo-style gun ballet, and Drunken Badger kung-fu?


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Samnell wrote:
I used to plan for the zombie apocalypse, but lately I've found Kittenageddon more fun.

{purrs} When Gotham Iz Ashez, We Vill Nomz Ur Bwainz Last.


2 people marked this as a favorite.

(quoting a friend:) "Seals are just dog mermaids."


Kthulhu wrote:
Umbral Reaver wrote:

Oh, no. I'm not saying it's insignificant at all.

Just don't start expecting time travel and antigravity within your lifetime.

It's the 2nd half of 2012. Where the F+*+ is my flying car?

We don't even have hoverboards yet! But there are already several flying cars to choose from: the PAL-V, the Terrafugia Transition, and (maybe) the Moller SkyCar. Just beware the 501st NyanCat Airborne NecroBorg Troopers.


{mysteriously re-appears in Schrödinger's litter box} I'm sure one of the poodles can help you with the "rain" if you really want it.


Name him Spooky.


MoMojuice!


MoMojuice...


Hmmm...

{whispers:} MoMojuice...


{stops clapping} So, clapping means he lives? Curses! No wonder that b+*&+ Tinkerbell survived.


Wait, is this like Tinkerbell? Should we applaud? {claps paws}


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Moo? I iz a cow. There are no poodles or cats here. Er, I mean, moo. Moo, moo, MOO.


Cockapoo wrote:
It's ok, CDP. I don't think the kitten's French.

She might be. Is her name Penelope Pussycat?


Isn't there a St. Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh's in Cornwall?


AbsolutGrndZer0 wrote:
*Casts Enlarge Monster on the kitten... making it a normal sized cat* Sic em, Fluffy!

Hey, baby, how you doing? [/Joey]


{begins brainstorming "Yo Vegepygmy So Fat" jokes}


Rats. If you were polydactyl, you could stop by my homies in Key West for a couple free rounds of daiquiris.


{throws candy necklace at CDP} Isn't this Shrove Humpday?


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Ah, absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.


Darth Knight wrote:

~Kills Humpday Monster~

I shall take his remains and turn him into a bird bath.

It's ok, he'll rise from the dead in seven days, returning to hump his Chosen Canines.

Also, you have a lot of misdirected anger, you big Sithy. You should find a less stressful hobby and relax. Repeat after me: "Serenity now!"


That's it, show him who's Alpha WedMo!


{wakes up, scootches over into sunbeam, goes back to sleep}


1 person marked this as a favorite.

I was Friday'd once. {nibbles some of CDP's pills, takes swig of booze}


{staggers in, shakes off dirt} That musta been one helluva catnip bender... I just woke up buried in the neighbor's landscaping next to an empty Doritos bag.


"Memory
All alone in the moonlight
Hulk can smile at the old days
Hulk was beautiful then
Hulk remember
The time Hulk knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again"


Hey MoMo, Blockbuster called and said you are already a week late returning that Poodles Behaving Badly IX DVD.


The Monday Monster wrote:
Oh $&*^!!! I better get out of here before I'm next! *teleports out*

Giving up the fight so quickly, MoMo JoJo? Maybe you really are French? Or you play for the Miami Dolphins.

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