Metalbeard has been listening quietly; the rapid and ungrammatical speech of their contact has been difficult for his machine mind to process. But slowly it begins to make sense.
So, with these keys we be hired to use... We really be trackin' the plant-creatures that you and your friends let loose? How do the parts of the ship be relatin' to these keys? And why do we all just be findin' out about this stuff now? Seems like it be better to be well-prepared than a clueless berk.
Sorry, been travelling with limited net access.
Metalbeard has been following Batty, and watches & listens carefully to the detailed story.
After the story, he looks around at his companions before speaking. This be quite an interestin' tale. But... the question we be askin' is, what this green war be about. How be this 'Lady of Joy' part of the Green War?
Diplomacy: 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (15) + 14 = 29
Metalbeard's gears start turning as he looks at the strange Mage. To create a distraction for any of his companions who want to study him, he recites his pie poem again, loudly drumming a hollow spot in his side for accompaniment.
Greetings, cutter. What kind of pies do you be likin' best hear? I be havin' trouble decidin' what to eat.
He tries to gauge the mage's reaction.
Sense motive: 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (11) + 14 = 25
Metalbeard chuckles at his new companion's ignorance of pie.
Perhaps this will explain it:
Georgie Porgie, Puddin' and Pie,
Now you be knowin' all about pie, right?
Perform (oratory): 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (1) + 14 = 15
As he recited the poem, however, Metalbeard was also stuffing a large slice of key lime into his mouth. About 50% of the slice is on Runt by the time the poem is over.
I guess if I'm going to get a nat 1, better now than in combat!
Sorry for the lack of posting, threw out back & sitting up at the computer has been hard.
Metalbeard has been out browsing the local bazaars, and apparently found some use for his 12000 gold, as he is now wearing a fancy new robe and eyepatch. I be lookin' for special stuff to ward of plants. The pickins' be pretty thin out there, but this gunk-- He holds up a jar with some kind of ointment-- this be 'defoliant polish', 800 gold a jar, and it be hurtin' any plant-monsters that be grapplin' a berk.
Char sheet with updated magic items is at http://irememberaram.pbworks.com/w/file/fetch/55186881/Metalbeard.pdf
Having reunited with his companions, Metalbeard looks around the strange pie shop, reciting his favorite pie poems and then chatting up the clerk to try to get clues about the strange disappearing store. So, mister Headhat be comin' in today?
Perform (Oratory): 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (19) + 14 = 33
Seems like your lucky day, newcomers, as we seem to be votin' to split the jink with you. Best be rememberin' it in our next battle... Metalbeard acquiesces to splitting the loot.
Metalbeard grows a little impatient at their host's vagueness about the Green War. We don't be askin' about the Green War for fun. My poems and words don't be doin' much to those plant-berks. If we be expectin' more in those lines, we need to be spendin' this jink you just gave us on the right supplies. Do you want us in the dead-book, or will you be levelin' with us about exactly what's goin' on with these druids and plants?
Metalbeard disagrees. Plants be among the weakest berks on the planes. Plenty of creatures be messin' us up worse.
He breaks into another beat poem.
On the plane of Earth you may be mashed into a pulp.
Apologies to Monty Python.
Perform (oratory): 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (2) + 14 = 16
Seeing the faces of his companions, he remarks, Perhaps that be enough poetry for now. Time for collectin' our jink.
Reflex save: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (7) + 3 = 10
Metalbeard stumbles a bit after stepping through the gate, but is able to maintain his footing enough to avoid falling. He tosses his folding boat into the water, then attempts to climb in.
Climb check: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (18) + 8 = 26
Finding ample handholds on the Knife, he doesn't have much trouble getting into the boat. Seeing Grune is in the water, he blows up his large inflatable duck and tosses it to him.
Yes, I actually have a 'flotation device' in my inventory.
To hit roll: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (10) + 1 = 11
Realizing he is out of the presence of royalty, he also takes a moment to switch his language dial back to Sigil mode. Grune, you berk, best be usin' the ducky and paddlin' this way! The big monster-thing still be livin' in these waters. He also takes out his portable battering ram, unfolding it and holding it in the water for Grune to grab.
Metalbeard heads up the stairs, trying to restrict his steps to floorboards that are likely to hold his weight.
Knowledge (engineering): 1d20 + 21 ⇒ (12) + 21 = 33
Once he reaches the top, he heads for the gate. No time to lose, friends, let's get out of here before they collapse the house. As soon has Batty has it open, he will step through.
Banging himself against a door frame, Metalbeard comes to his senses, and realizes he is actually inside the house. Better run a virus scan when I have some time, he mumbles to himself.
But looking around, he discovers that his new companion Jarun is still outside, and running in the wrong direction. From the nearest window, he yells out towards him in verse,
There once was a priest named Jarun
Using Inspire Courage, gives Jarun a +2 to saves vs Fear effects...
Metalbeard reviews in his mind a quick recap of recent events, trying to undestand the situation better. He must have banged his side against a tree stump, as he can clearly remember what everyone else just did, except for himself. And his legs must be stuck in a patch of mud: somehow despite having consistently attempted to run, he is in the same location as he was in when this battle started.
DM-- Metalbeard was somehow missing from the recap you posted! And somehow his attempts to run away didn't change his position?!? I thought I should be 30' away by now, but just in case, will roll the Will save...
1d20 + 2 ⇒ (15) + 2 = 17
Will refrain from posting further actions until DM clarifies the situation. :-)
Sorry, had to work until 11pm Thurs & then gone since last evening at a "sleep study".
Secure in the knowledge that his illusion will continue for the next 18 seconds regardless of his attention, Metalbeard continues running towards the portal. Sparks fly in several directions as his main gears grind at top speed. In case a root catches up and grabs him, he is ready to try out his new boots.
Major Image lasts Concentration + 3 rounds. The Boots of Escape will let him teleport 30' away if grappled. Also taking the DM's option to take 20 on initiative when running away.
As he runs, he yells to his companions. Come on, friends, let's get to that portal! I calculate less than a .002% probability that we can defeat every tree in this forest.
Metalbeard tries to dodge the roots coming his way.
Reflex save: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (17) + 3 = 20
He seems far more dextrous than any giant metal cube has a right to be, and skilfully dodges under one branch as he skips over the next. He continues at top speed towards the portal.
Perception check to spot Brehna (vs DC 60?!?): 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (10) + 1 = 11
I couldn't even see her if her stealth was only +1!
But suddenly he looks back for a moment. Where's Brehna? ##@!@#, did they get her? Grune, Batty, Jarun, Runt-- tell me if she's safe, or we need to turn around and rescue her quickly!
Metalbeard stays close to Runt as instructed, as he tries to direct his new companion towards the portal. Do you really think you can fight these things? Running may be our best move right now.
At the same time, he takes out his drumstick and beats his vision-projectors in an odd pattern, making it look as if a squadron of soldiers is approaching between his group and the tree-creatures. Perhaps this will distract some of them.
Casting Major Image.
The Modron bows to his new companion. Welcome to the group, Jarun. I'll look forward to having that flail between myself and the next Dark Druid we meet.
Diplomacy check: 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (9) + 14 = 23
He then turns to his other companions. I'm ready to move back to the Manor house and the gate to Sigil. His comment seems remarkably appropriate for some reason.
After a night of nonstop reading, Metalbeard had decided to take a break and visit the local bazaar. He comes back excited to show his companions what he has bought. Look, this vest can create magical tools on demand! And these boots let me teleport out of danger! These banners help us protect a campsite! This cap lets me disguise myself as a human! But the most amazing thing...
He can barely contain his excitement as he pulls a large sack out of his backpack. He overturns it, dumping a pile of aromatic dung at his feet. Then he shakes the bag a little, turns if over again, and there is yet more dung. Soon he is standing in a noticeably-sized mound of dung. No matter how much I take out, there is still more! It's the legendary Bag of Everlasting Dung! Looking around, he suddenly realizes that the assorted nobles are not quite as excited as he is to be able to produce infinite amounts of this substance, and sheepishly attempts to start gathering it back into the bag, as he apologizes to those who are offended.
Diplomacy check: 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (17) + 14 = 31
You can see all my new items on the updated char sheet at http://irememberaram.pbworks.com/w/file/fetch/55186881/Metalbeard.pdf .
After he has had some time to clean up, he returns for his audience with the princess. Greetings, Runt. If the princess has confidence in you, so do I. I will be honored to travel with you.
The modron's eyes light up with excitement. Literally, that is-- his eyes shine like spotlights, illuminating the book as he rapidly turns the pages, skimming for any relevant information that might relate to the ultimate fate of his race. Thank you, Your Highness, you have more than repaid any favors I have done! He rapidly analyzes what he is reading, in light of what he already knows.
Knowledge (planes): 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (18) + 11 = 29
Normally, he would be entertaining his various new acquiantances... but tonight, he is totally focused on the book.
WRT shopping before we leave: what was the total value of rewards we received again? Can we assume any items in the Pathfinder books are available at list price?
The Modron looks at him hopefully. Actually, your Highness, I have been searching for many years to find out the fate of my people. Can you send word to the various sages of your kingdom, to try to report any sightings of other Modrons, and gather the information here? I can then try to return in a year or so, and see if anything has been learned.
Diplomacy: 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (10) + 14 = 24
As they walk, Metalbeard answers the king's query by summarizing their adventures to this point, in a series of beat-poem chants of increasingly complexity, as he beats his side in a pleasant accompanying rhythm.
Perform- oratory: 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (14) + 13 = 27
Afterwards, he addresses the King directly, doing his best to hint at his desire for a cash reward, without asking directly. Sir, it was our pleasure to help your daughter. But as you see, we are poor adventurers from far away, and have a great distance to return, so will not be able to linger long in your domain.
Diplomacy: 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (18) + 13 = 31
Metalbeard calls out to the guards. Guards! Listen to this inspirational chant before shooting!
There once were some great guards with bows,
Perform (oratory): 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (11) + 13 = 24
I'll roll some troop volleys, not clear anyone has yet. Adding the +2 bardic courage bonus.
Metalbeard gets a little nervous as he realizes that he's the closest thing to a wizard that the party has... and his abilities aren't very well-suited to dealing with giant mutant plants. Since Batty doubts that Blindness will affect them, he readies himself to do more focused sonic damage as soon as the creatures get within range.
Readying Ear-Piercing Scream, I think he has 3 more left today. Will continue to cast again for following rounds. 3d6 sonic damage to single target, range 40', DC15 Fort for 1/2
@DM: You mean the site with my char sheet? (http://irememberaram.pbworks.com/w/file/fetch/55186881/Metalbeard.pdf). I just tested it, seems to be up now... tell me if you still have problems.
With a couple of rounds to prepare, Metalbeard yells to the kids, Don't forget the bag! As soon as one of them draws a fuzzball from the bag he loaned them earlier, it turns into a... 1d100 ⇒ 87... weasel. Well, at least it's an alternate target, he remarks, as the rather unthreatening animal starts to run around in circles.
Another flash of inspiration hits the modron. He retrieves his folding boat, turns it upside down, and presses the button to create a 15-person craft. Or, in this position, a 15-person shelter. If anyone needs a better hiding spot, get under here, he yells to his companions and the kids.
He also retrieves a magical flask from his pack & passes it to Grune.
Satisfied that he has done all the preparation he can think of, Metalbeard starts preparing his parabolic reflectors. Batty, do you know if these things are vulnerable to Blindness?
As he wipes off giant-horror-gore from his armor, Metalbeard squints and tries to figure out what is flying towards the group.
Bardic knowledge: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (2) + 7 = 9
Geez, another 2???
I think someone in the sky has cooked us breakfast, and those are giant pancakes being magically delivered. Does anyone have some maple syrup?
Perhaps the shock of the giant horror has still left Metalbeard's brain-gears a bit out of sync.
Metalbeard, heartened a bit by his allies' skill in toppling the horror, starts drumming his side again and begins another war chant.
There once was a big ugly horror
Inspiring courage again, +2 to attacks & damage for allies.
Perform (oratory): 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (9) + 13 = 22
Initiative: 1d20 - 2 ⇒ (2) - 2 = 0
One of the lesser-known talents of Modrons is the facility to tighten their vocal chords to arbitrary levels of tension, approximating the voice of a screaming young girl. Metalbeard makes ample use of this ability when he spots the green horror rising from the lake. Fortunately, he still has presence of mind to eventually focus his parabolic sound reflector, after a seemingly infinite pause.
Ear-Piercing Scream: 3d6 damage, Fort DC15 for half.
Metalbeard bows (well, as much as a big cube with legs can bow) to the Princess. Realizing that he is in the presence of nobility, he also takes the time to adjust his language dial to a more appropriate setting. I am honored to travel with you, Your Highness. I shall endeavor to continue to protect you to the best of my ability.
Now that the immediate threat is past, he is curious to better understand the current danger. Commander, I am known as Metalbeard. If it's not too presumptuous, I would ask: can you tell us more about who these Druids are, and why they are so hostile towards your people?
Diplomacy: 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (2) + 13 = 15
Unfortunately. as he was speaking a large fly had meandered into Metalbeard's throat, and he coughed it up on the Commander. But even when coughing up flies, the modron is fairly diplomatic.
Metalbeard is a bit surprised to discover that the lost child was actually of royal status. He tries to think if he has heard anything about a Princess Farina Lye, or a King/Queen Lye of some sort, which plane and nation they might belong to, and their general attitude and disposition.
Bardic Knowledge (Knowledge-local): 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (4) + 7 = 11
Unfortunately, knowledge of human nobles is not really his specialty.
We need be movin' fast? I be helpin' with that. Metalbeard begins banging his side rhythmically to set a brisk marching pace, motioning for the children to line up behind him.
Triple Time ability: speed +10 for 6 allies. He'll focus on the children first, since they are probably slowest
Seeing that the sonic attack has no effect on the plant-monster, Metalbeard realizes that his best option is to motivate his more combat-oriented companions through inspirational poetry.
There once was a scarred half-ogre,
Perform (Oratory): 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (11) + 13 = 24
Inspire Courage, allies get +2 to attacks & damage.
Initiative: 1d20 - 2 ⇒ (1) - 2 = -1
Metalbeard sees the evil plant arm heading for the children, and decides his top priority must be to stop it. He rushes to interpose himself between the arm and the children, then focuses his parabolic noise-reflector on it.
Ear-Piercing Scream, 3d6 damage + daze, Fort save DC15 for 1/2 damage.
Assuming the branch wasn't immune, he continues the scream for the next 2 rounds.
He also yells to the kids. Don't be forgettin' the bag!
Ok, sounds like we be havin' a plan then.
After a few moments of thought, Metalbeard takes a large bag out of a side compartment & hands it to the child he was speaking with
You be holdin' this for me. It be a magic bag. If anyone be attackin', you be throwin' a magic fuzz ball from the bag. And be careful, I be wantin' it back after we arrive.
Loaning the bag of tricks, so children can summon help if in danger.
Metalbeard answers the child. Most be callin' me Metabeard. And your name?
After listening to his companions, he replies. You really think escortin' them be the easiest way? I guess if that be our path, one of you be leadin' the way. I'm not much of a woods-bot.
He waits for his companions to identify a reasonable path, then gets ready to follow their lead. Littl'uns, remember, if there be trouble, you be hidin' until we deal with it.
The clicking of rotating gears can be heard as Metalbeard thinks for a few minutes while his companions speak. He normally doesn't pay much attention to humanoids outside his party, but the recent sharing of the poetry seems to have created a bond between him and the children.
Let's not be forgettin' an obvious option-- why not take the little ones back with us to Sigil? It not be an easy life there... but it be soundin' like they don't be havin' much of a chance here. He turns to the nun. Which god do you be worshippin'? He thinks about whether there might be a church of that god in Sigil who he could lead the group to.
Bardic Lore: Knowledge (local- Sigil): 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (6) + 7 = 13
He then turns to Revial. Revvy-- we both seem to be heavy on the engineerin' skills. Think maybe we can fortify a part of the buildin' to hold out for a day?
Knowledge (engineering): 1d20 + 20 ⇒ (14) + 20 = 34
Metalbeard continues his drumming and song, trying to stay out of the way of his more combat-oriented allies while he inspires them in battle. Seeing that the children are enjoying it, he smiles at them and, with his free hand, motions for them to join in the singing & pantomime the surrender-pokey dance.
Perform (oratory): 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (6) + 13 = 19
Distracting Cacaphony is still in effect, Concentration DC 15+spell level for anyone casting in the area. Also, on this round he is using his standard action to add the Inspire Courage quality to his song, giving all his allies +2 to attack and damage rolls, as well as +2 to save vs charm & fear effects.
Initiative: 1d20 - 2 ⇒ (2) - 2 = 0
Finally regaining his senses, Metalbeard stands up and assesses the situation. Clearly, this is a situation that calls out for an epic poem. He begins drumming discordantly on his head as he recites:
Put your plants in the ground,
Perform (Oratory): 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (13) + 13 = 26
Distracting Cacaphony spell: spellcasting in 20' radius requires concentration check DC 15+spell level. Hopefully that might disrupt the Druid's summoning.
So, druid-berks, you be surrenderin' now, or sufferin' the wrath of Metalbeard?
Intimidate: 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (15) + 14 = 29
Metalbeard steps up onto the nearest piece of broken furniture to get some starting momentum, then, as acrobatically as a modron is capable, jumps through the floor at the spot he identfied.
Acrobatics check: 1d20 - 8 ⇒ (12) - 8 = 4
He kind of lands on one of his corners, rolling like a giant 6-sided die in a cosmic role-playing game into the room below. After the horrible landing, he does his best to regain his senses and assess the situation, identifying his visible adversaries.
Knowledge (planes): 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (12) + 11 = 23
Metalbeard, having finished clanging from his window encounter, returns his attention to his companions. Revvy, you be talkin' sense. Checkin' out the floors may be to our advantage. You say the evil ones be one floor down? Maybe we be able to arrange a surprise.
Metalbeard cautiously walks over to a spot roughly above where the evil auras should be, trying not to squeak the floorboards too much on the way. Unfortunately, stealth is not his strong suit.
Stealth check: 1d20 - 8 ⇒ (16) - 8 = 8
Well, could be worse, he mumbles to himself. Assuming he made it roughly to the right spot without raising a general alarm, he looks at the floor and tries to identify a spot where a 600 lb modron might be able to jump straight through and crash to the floor below, preferably on top of an enemy (if he can hear any sign of them).
Perception: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (13) + 1 = 14
Metalbeard, being possibly the only non-flyer and non-swimmer in the group, had a bit of a difficult time getting up to the portal and through it. Be there any chance of a lift, mates? But weighing in at 600 lbs of solid metal, he didn't really expect much help from the humanoids. After grabbing onto a rocky outcropping, he collapsed his boat, and began working his way up.
Climb check: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (14) + 8 = 22
Anyway, somehow he made it through, so he now looks around. So, anybody be knowin' where we are? He stares out the window.
Knowledge (planes): 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (2) + 11 = 13
Wow, what crappy rolls.
Unfortunately, the window does not appear to be designed for broad modron heads, and he painfully pokes his cheek (or, more precisely, the side of his front panel) against a plant-holder or something. He utters numerous non-Modron-like words and backs away.
The modron calls out to his companion in the air. Thanks Revvy! Once at the Knife, he thinks upon various songs he has heard about planar gates, as he stares at the strange outcropping and tries to figure out where exactly the right spot might be. He shines his flash-beam at several places, lighting them up for a closer look.
Knowledge (Planes): 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (13) + 11 = 24
This stuff not be easy to see, he mutters, as he takes a flask out of his side-compartment and downs a quick slurp of sake. That be helpin' a little.
A bat be pullin' our boat? I be seein' a lot in my times, but that's a new one. Metalbeard chuckles with a metallic laugh at Batty's idea.
After flashing his beam at the beast's eyes and climbing into the boat (Reflex 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (16) + 3 = 19), Metalbeard calls to his companions. Come on, be you bashers or berks? What be you waitin' for? He helps them each in, kneeling down to form a kind of stair-step with his cubic body, then begins more poetic recitations as he starts pulling his oar.
Row, row, row, row,
Perform (Oratory): 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (14) + 13 = 27
Using Inspire Competence ability. First ally to attempt a relevant skill check that helps us across gets a +2.
"Of course," Metalbeard continues, "there be the little problem of the water-creature." Hearing Revial's legal analysis of the situation, he turns to him and asks, "So, if I be able to magically focus my flash-beams and blind the creature, it be OK with you? That probably be drivin' it away, or at least makin' it less of a threat to my boat."
If Revial answers in the affirmative, Metalbeard will attempt to cast Blindness on the monster from the dock, if it comes within range: range 160 feet, DC 16 Fort or blinded.
Metalbeard slaps his front panel. "D'oh! I be forgetting' bout that trinket I won playin' Go Fish with Leroy the Luckless..."
He opens a compartment in his top, and pulls out a folding boat.
Yes, that was one if the handful of items I bought with lv6 starting gold-- right on my char sheet. Thanks for reminding me. :-). http://irememberaram.pbworks.com/w/file/fetch/55186881/Metalbeard.pdf
Knowledge (Local) check: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (10) + 5 = 15
Based on a map he recalls seeing once, tattoed on the chest of a muscular half-ogre pirate who was pummeling him (that's a story for another time), Metalbeard comments to his companions. "The 'knife' be the name of a rocky structure in the middle of the 'ditch', this river, if I be recallin' right. Perhaps if we be helpin' these people, they might give us a lift in their boat?"
Metalbeard tries to estimate whether he and his new friends could take on the creature, or drive it off somehow at least.
Knowledge (Dangerous Beasts): 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (6) + 5 = 11