Malice Jack's page

Malice in teh hizzy!

PEASANT!

huh, Jacks are back! Schweet!

Hey who brought the lawn gnome?

Punts Spanky over the horizon

Woot! That was fun! Been a while!

BEER!

Malice laughs as he puts out his turntable rig by the bar.

"I don't care how it got here, I just care that it is here! And I wanna play some music!"

Malice spins a record.

"Here's an old favorite!"

A sound of synthesized horns fills the pool area

A large golem-like figure hauling a large box of old vinyl records and a large turntable set appears at the misty edge of the forest. He walks onto the grounds and heads for the pool

"HEY HEY! Did someone call for a DJ?"

Hey they moved a buch of our old threads to a new forum!

>FORUM GAMES<

*shakes angry fist*

You wants I should ruff da monkey up boss?

Patrick Curtin wrote:

And this is why it is never cool to mention individual posters' names when you get in beefs with them. Especially here on this thread. It's bad form. That's what we have FB for people!

That's my fault, I asked.

Say it aint so boss!

BUMP!

And I can remix the Internationale as a techno beat!

Yikes! There's an >actual< one!

Tofurkey and vodka?

I know! Perhaps we should throw a party and invite a bunch of peasants? That way we have them coming to us!

Straps the peasant in, then stands back

You may fire when ready Gridley!

Roars back clutching a ragged skinny man with wild staring eyes.

Got a peasant! Is the Jackapult ready?

Harley confirguration and pronto!

The robot transforms into a vintage Harley. MJ jumps aboard and roars off

Yeah we need Panama, and Frat Jack. I'll grab a peasant.. Be right back!

ACME!!

We need a party JRHM. This place is deader than disco!

Man, what is with my Jack bretheren! Represent !

. Your cult is filled with the dregs of the boards.

Hey now!

*hic*

Thas close to shand ..

*hic*

Sand ...

*hic*

Slander, buddy. I'll get that pony lawyer to sue yer ass, shee?

*hic*

Whazzat? Oh my aching rivets!

Anyone got some Alka-Seltzer and battery acid?

Dude! Go clean yer armor!

yanks finger

Huh? Whuzzat?

A TOAST!

May the protoplasm in his psuedopods never lose elasticity!

Drinks Dark & Stormy

Tosses JH a bronze tropy of a boot

I got this while in England at the Lesser Umpton-on-Filth Annual Peasant Punting Championships. I beat out Lord FitzJacques in the overall peasant distance per punting. You can have it!

Ambles in, several tourist stickers attached to his ceramic hide

Hey all, I just got back from my vacation punting European peasants! What's new?

Slurps a beer, checks tivo for bikini wrestling

More like a "paizonian request" but here it goes:

The Dark and Stormy Knights!

That's great Hugo! I look so real!

Yeah but these Slaad are hard to throw, they keep on coming back ..

Jack Hammer wrote:

Excuse me a sec. Reaches over an 'accidently' bumps the Jackapult launch button, sending the stoner dretchling flying.

Malice Jack wrote:

Malice stumbles by the Jackapult, nursing a Dark & Stormy. He leans against the launching mechanism, flinging Vinnie Grett over to the Slaad Thread.

OOPS! Sorry lil' dude!

{whizzing through the air} Whoa, that's some preemo ganga... it felt like I got launched twice. {faint contrail of pipeweed lingers behind him through the sky}

LOL

MJ shakes his head and looks distrustingly at his Dark & Stormy.

I think somebody slipped me a rufo!

{wanders aimlessly through thread, with a stupid grin and severly bloodshot eyes}

Dude, that totally looks like a b*tch*n spot for a break. {climbs onto launching arm of Jackapult}

Huh huh huh ha huh {retrieves pipe from under DretchEx cap} It's 4:20 somewhere.

Malice stumbles by the Jackapult, nursing a Dark & Stormy. He leans against the launching mechanism, flinging Vinnie Grett over to the Slaad Thread.

OOPS! Sorry lil' dude!

Malice smiles as he sees JH lugging out the good scotch. He spins another song to the feverish crowd

Offline for a bit, maybe back on, maybe not .. :/

Malice keeps the music going as the party swells in size

Malice spins another track for the crowd of excited naked fiendish nymphs and dryads.

MJ ports in with his DJ gear and sets up by the pool, Acme assisting. Soon he has the turntables fired up, and he spins up some trance to warm up the evening's energy

Yeah, lets take the posting to the Dark & Stormy thread. Better off that way

Hey, you can't leave Hungry, I need a good greasy hangover breakfast!

Awright we gots a party!

Fires up the turntables and belts out some techno

Rubs his eyes

Did I see what I think I saw or am I still working off those D&S shooters from last night?

Over to Unseen Servant

Yeah, I'll take an eye-opener. I need it.

Groans and rolls over

Man whatta party!

A turntable still skips a record, lending a weird counterbalance to Malice's snores from somewhere underneath the DJ booth

As the last song ends, Malice spins a new one

Arrives with Acme and turntables in tow

Man turn my back on you guys and you move over to the ...

Jaw drops at the bacchanal in progress

OK, time for some dancing ladies!

Rubs hands together and throws together his DJ rig

Time for a little more music!

Dude! 'Bout time you got here! We need some tunes!

I'm on it! YO ACME!

A retro-Fifties robot rolls in hauling DJ equipment and several boxes of vinyl albums

OK, the party is stahtin!

How about a little adrenaline enhancer?

Fiddles with the turntables and fires the rig up

If I was in WWII they'd call me SPITFIRE!

Electronic music bumps out from the massive speakers

Hey where's my Dark & Stormy Knights guys?

Just make sure after your Hungry Jack® meal there is plenty of TP in the bathroom.

Morning Jacks, nobody go into the bathroom for at least 15 minutes if you value your sense of smell.

...

Ooo banana pancakes!

Man, what's with all the non-golems? Sic 'em Poodle Jack!