Malevolent Blob's page

I have only one problem with Birmingham... I have an Ex-girlfriend living there.. and if my wife knew that... even if I know noting would happen, she would not let me go..:-(

I'll take her off your hands for the day, keep her busy.

Just send me her measurements...I mean her address, and I'm good to go...

Now you've done it. Once the blob gets his fangs into a pun-run, he fancies himself as a master of fanfic, but he is actually nothing but a fanfaron and a fantasist.

I must make my own entertainment, ensconced as I am, in my fantasmagorical fane...

Oops! Sorry! I sometimes forget that paizo adventure path != pathfinder

How about this?

Now THAT's 'fan-service'!

<slobber>

How about we keep PAIZO and send you Miley Cyrus??

:P

(just remember to drill some airholes in the crate,...we don't want that whole Mary Kate & Ashley business again...)

I can't believe you're the only person to get flagged!

(\/)
(. .)
c(")(")

Well I suppose RED SONJA would have sold to a whole different crowd if she had been an fat ugly chick with teeth sharpened to points on account of how her barbarian tribe lives good on human flesh and stained her matted dreadlocks with the blood of babies.

Stop it, dingo, you're getting me all hot!

Santa Claus is a real PrC, which Seoni has 5 levels of. She's looking forward to the next level, when she can teleport down multiple chimneys simultaneously.

<insert NSFW gag about opening stockings and emptying his sack>

<takes a bow>

No problem. I don't see where you've earned such rough handling.

Have I done anything to deserve rough handling?

<crosses fingers>

Does this Erik Mona come with 'Real-Feel Skin'(TM)?

I finally saw it. Now, I cannot unsee. I don't know what I did right, but I do know this game(and its' expansions) are my reward for a life well lived. Thank you, God.

I'm expanding as I read this thread.

Jade,

Come on, you can always find another girl willing to have sex in a car ;>

<grabs pad, licks pencil>

Hmm?

Go on...

"I'll just go take the dog for walk, dear."

<note to self; buy dog>

I want to playtest with my meat...

Mmm Hmm.

Meat.

I can vouch for that!

<slither>

Oh, sorry; I thought this was a BDSM thread...

So, err...
<shuffles off>

A chaos beast is chaotic, maybe every temple of Calistra holds their Festival of the Chaos Orgy on a different day at a different time. And after each orgy the chaos beast just gets zapped to a different temple for their festival. Pass the beast for the Orgy Eternal.

Ooh, Ooh!

Dibs on the sloppy seconds!

A great day indeed, unless you're a turkey.

The only day of the year (apart from Christmas) I can use the words 'Fancy a Gobbler?' without fear of a restraining order!

I don't have the deepest voice in the world, but when I'm on the phone or recorded it sounds like a damn girls! =(

I'm really unhappy about it... it just sounds sh!t.

You mean you're not a girl?!?

But..but...

If you're not a girl, then what about Artemis Grayson, and...Coralee Starscryer, and errm, Samantha Bastian,... Sabriel Angelfire, poor Elizabeth Danflor, Vesper, the wonderful Caliope Breezekeeper, Joleesa Morvais....

<crosses out several lines on his 'Things to See and People to Do' list...>

<weep>

I love the goat's milk. Especially from the kind of goat's with only one teet. What do you call those goats?

Errr...that ain't no goat...

Hmmm, I could probably do the tightrope. Nothing draws a crowd like watching someone fall to their death from a great height. But a repeat performance might be tricky ; )

I can stand underneath, looking up.

In the interests of health and safety, I mean...err, yeah. Not to see your pants. Oh no. Health and safety. That's the one.

@ Blob -- Considering Lidda weighs in at all of 25 lbs it would be interesting to see exactly what you would do with her.

I know; I'd have to stand on a box!

I can't help myself, I've always had a thing for taller ladies.

:P

I have long been a proponent of making monk a favored class for halflings. Join the Halfling Monk Liberation Front! (But not the Halfling Front for the Liberation of Monks...)

If they still look like Lidda, then I volunteer to 'liberate' her front!

Bottomfeeder: Anyone who has made it past the playtest boards to discover the wonders of the Off-Topic Boards; i.e Anyone reading this is a bottomfeeder.

Nom, nom, nom...

Please, take a seat...

Lookintomyeyesnotaroundtheeyeslookintomyeyestheeyestheeyes...aaaand...you'r eunder!whenIclickmyfingersyouwillwakeyouwillheadforthevotingboothandpledgey ourallegiancetomebutyouwillnotrememberthisconversationyouwillsimplyremember apleasantdream....

aaaand...
CLICK!

Do either of your cards say you'll be lucky in love?

Only, I'm feeling a bit frisky tonight.

Gotcha.

seals magical Gladlock bag of holding with a magical escape-proof/spill-proof/blob-proof twist tie

opens planar gate and throws bag into the para-elemental plane of garbage.

You just had to climb in my bag? Didn't you?

Finds weapons stash in bag, unsheathes dagger, pierces bag. All BluePigeon's gear pours forth in a torrent in front of Gate.

Blob slinks away in the confusion, with choicest valuables.

Let the spell casting begin. Multiple spellcasting feat activated.

-Opens a pit beneath the Malevolent Blob-

-shoves popsickle stick into the jelly mass via fabrication-

-Casts freezing Sphere-

Mmmmm, blob sickle for those hot Vegas days. Mmmmmm.

You forgot that Blobs have a lower freezing point than water.

creeps out of hole when BluePigeon's back is turned

climbs in his Bag of Holding

finds tasty rations and equipment

"NOM, NOM, NOM"

I had done such a good job avoiding this thread in general but I guess I must have had something "up my rear".

<backs away slowly...>

I thought that was the dinner bell.

Hey, this looks like a fun thread.

What's happening?

The llama 3 posts above you was showing me his ass.

Keep in mind that those who are attacking Paizo are actually a good thing. Negative/shocking publicity gets the word out. (Celebrities use it all the time.) The more people are talking about Pathfinder, the more that weren't even aware of it will meander over here and check it out.

All we need now is a sex scandal!

I'm free!

:::SHUDDERS:::

Oh sweet Bahamut, there's an image I'll never get out of my head. Sir, by codes of conduct of dragonkind, I am authorized to destroy you.

Kobold servants! Attack!

ENGULF

Ohh, that tickles!

<giggle>

And I'm talking REAL females - not those kind Eddie Murphy is fond of.

What; Scary Spice?

She always looked all woman to me.

Do you know something we don't?

C'mon, guys. What we really need are more scantily clad MALES! I mean Sajan the Monk iconic is a step in the right direction, but where are the cod-piece wearing Gladiators, the half-Orc Barbarians in wolf-skin loin-cloths, the leather-fetish Executioners, the Mwangi Halfling warriors in vine-leaf skirts? You're all with me on this, aren't you, guys? ... guys???

I'm a scantily clad male.

And self-lubricating.

sits by phone, waiting for DarkWhite's call...

Drazmorg will happily accept one or more Olsen twins in the meantime, however.

Blob will only accept both Olsen twins.

There is not enough meat on a single one to constitute a proper nourishing repast.

Mmmmm...

Pig intestines...

rubs belly

Blobby women would not be turned down though.

Blobs need love too!

Soon, there won't be any classes and there will just be one feat: "I choose Blob as a class. Blobs can do anything they want, especially if they take the Blob feat."

BLOB [GENERAL]
Prerequisite: Having a PC
Benefit: You can do anything you want.

BWA-HA-HA-HAAH!

BOW DOWN BEFORE MY JIGGLY OMNIPOTENT MIGHT!