Malevolent Blob's page

Well, when you gotta go, you gotta go...

It should not be a no go area with romance to anyone serious about playing their role, I think. Then again, I know most people are not like me in this. Pity really.

Well, hellooooooo there...

for the moment I like gunslinger, it has something easy going to it. But I would loose my respect for the class if it got called boomslinger.

First off, it reminds me a lot of the boom tubes from DC-comics. Also Boomsticks sound dirty, like: "my boomstick is ten inch long".

"Honestly, officer, we just pulled into this layby, to clean it, when it went off."

Since tone is difficult to gauge over the internet, using an alias provides a useful barometer of the mood of the writer.

No-one should take anything too seriously, if it's posted by a comedic character.

Even when I still had XP, I had everyone on equal footing when it came to XP. I didn't do "roleplaying XP" or anything else to reward certain kinds of behaviour - you do this to have fun, so you do what is fun to you. If you don't like immersing yourself in a character, don't do it. I'm not giving out treats to dogs I'm training here.

Who's a good boy?

Can I have their treats?

I'll roll over and let you tickle my tummy.

I now must monitor every subscription with a microscope to make sure that you are not trying to sneak in computer software, novelty food items and paizo branded underwear.

Finally! Paizo-branded underwear! Where is the pre-order page?

Is it edible underwear?

Cos the Customs guys impound that, under 'quarantined foodstuff'.

If as a GM/Coordinator you do not want to run a 7 man table, say nope so sorry have a biscuit and go home.

If as a player you don't want to play a 7 man game, get up, grab a biscuit and go home.

Did someone say 'biscuits'?

I decided to make a list of the people on here I think I would enjoy playing with.

So in no order (and with all due apologies to any worthy omissions, this is basically top of head)

<Blah>

What am I?

Chopped liver?
....

Errrr....hmmm

<gets coat>

The one who tries to turn everything into a joke, and keeps trying to make it fit when it doesn't. And more often than not makes it sexual.

THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!

errr...mm. yeah.

i think the world would be a better place if we all had sweet robo hands.

If you pleasured yourself with your robo hand;

would it feel like someone else was doing it?

And I used the term Pokemon loosely to mean "generic bonded creature under your control", I might as well call them "Humanoid Eidolons".

Does that mean we can make them fight?

<drool>

Yum!

You need to be punished for that one.

Katy can punish me.

I've been a bad, bad boy.
I've been playing too long with my cherry chapstick, and now my hands are all sticky.

Hmm... so maybe I should ask for a partial refund?

Well, those sexy ladies made me leave a deposit.

WooT!! Ok, which one of you ordered the stripper?!

I'm coming, mistress!

Oh, I'm sorry, that's never happened before...

<goes to get a cloth>

Suffice it to say... we have more than one that has a name that's clearly not their real name, and need to be updated ASAP.

But...but...that IS my real name!

'Malachi E. Volentblob'.

I was named after your cat.

None of that changes the fundamental fact that it's not the wisest course to deliberately go against the grain and, say, design an item that is a child's toy that makes you vomit all the time but in so doing allows you to follow your trail of vomit back home so that you never get lost.

That sounds BLOODY AWESOME!

Now: back to work with the plan for global domination, and owing to the magnificent Ryder Cup victory for Europe today, I propose that the first meeting of the Global Organization of L33t Event Managers (G.O.L.E.M.) be held in Europe.

Mmmm...will there be..hrrrm...flesh golems, to be held?

Yum! s#@#e!

Are you wanting that? No?

Nom, nom, nom.

Let's say you're sleeping peacefully and your Significant Other asks if you're willing to do something. Would you consider being asleep to be tacit acknowledgment that you're willing? I wouldn't.

<whisper>"Excuse me, Dear, I've just invited all the boys round for drinks, and Jimbo's bringing six strippers. Is that all right with you?"

"SZZZNNNoOOOOORKK!"

[Mr Burns]"Eeeeeeexcellent!"[/Mr Burns]

Mmmmm, I can get on board that!

Oh, sorry, I thought you said 'slutty'.

Don't you just shrink when you find yourself clicking on blue fonted out-of-character writing in the hopes it's a depraved hyperlink?

As well as a 'sarcastic' font, we need a 'depraved' font.

Every now and then I have a wee issue and Sara is so on the ball.

You can get diapers in adult sizes.

So I heard.

They make good shagging.

How to make the players afraid?

Nude Gaming Night.

Doctor Zaius is Taylor's grandfather.

Not in light of their matriarchal society.

I'm not a big fan of the plastic prepainted sculpts. They all seem very textureless and flat. So until Reaper makes another otyugh, I'm just going to have to settle for something less.

You could always... <ahem>...'make'... one yourself....just be sure to eat plenty of fibre.

Sometimes I wish I had clones.

-Lisa

It's not THAT time of year again already, is it?

Nom, nom, nom...

Huh?
Oh, didn't see you there.

This stuff keeps for weeks.

I always want more, as you well know. I can drink faster, I promise. And I always lick up spillage.

Yum, nom, nom, schluorp!

Mmmmm....spillage....

You want us to ASK the artificial sausage?

What am I? The sausage whisperer?

You have to get closer,...yes...that's it.

Get close to the sausage...
Kneel down...lean forward...stay calm. Don't frighten it.
Breathe steadily.
In. Out. Aaand in again.
Now blow gently. Gently!
As if you're whispering sweet words of comfort to it.

Tell it it's a good sausage.
It's been a very good sausauge and you love it.

It may raise its head slightly, to look around, but that's normal.
Just keep doing what you're doing.

Oh yes.

Did I hear the dinner bell?

Yeah; RAR generally mean less to me than a bowl of warm spit.

Sooo...

Is no-one wanting this bowl, then?

No?

<laplaplaplap>

I was poking around people's profiles, and I realized that I don't do that nearly enough. I highly recommend it.

If there's any poking to be done, I'm all up for it.

MMMmm...Did someone say Spam?

This shakes me to my very core. I feel reality tearing around me as all I hold dear crumbles, taking with it the tatered remains of my sanity...

Tatered?

What is taters, precious? Mmmmnnn?

From the thread title, I thought this was going to be a totally different topic.

I was going to say..."Well Done! The feeling of self-loathing will go away, and it will only feel dirty the first dozen times.".

Slug-like entities for the win!!!!!

Whenever this topic comes up, I have to wonder... if you have sex with your clone is this masturbation or homosexuality?

:-k

Or necessity?

<sniff>

"Blobs Need Love Too!"

If she's pissed, she may be more amenable!
Chug it down!

<notes trans-Atlantic definition of the p-word>

Grrr.

Raaawr, back atcha, you magnificent beast.

So does this mean that you might be the father of Baby Squidbat? ;)

Only if Baby Squidbat looks like this...

Nom, Nom, Nom

Blob gives high five to other guests, and breathes sigh of relief.

How about, for those who love to deliberately set fire to themselves, the GM says,

"OK, you can have your fire resistance, but you're now a smoking stump of scar tissue. Minus 20 to all social skills and acrobatics."?

Hey don't knock it!

(Aagh, the pain...)

It was worth it!

(please make it stop...)

Pies are best, you can have sweet pies or savory pies, when was the last time anyone had a good chicken pot cake.

Mmmmmmuuuhhhhhh......chiiiicken.....<drool>

Save the beaks for me please.
I use them to grind up tough gristle in my third gizzard.

Well, I can divide in two, asexually (sigh), so the more the merrier!

I have only one problem with Birmingham... I have an Ex-girlfriend living there.. and if my wife knew that... even if I know noting would happen, she would not let me go..:-(

I'll take her off your hands for the day, keep her busy.

Just send me her measurements...I mean her address, and I'm good to go...

Now you've done it. Once the blob gets his fangs into a pun-run, he fancies himself as a master of fanfic, but he is actually nothing but a fanfaron and a fantasist.

I must make my own entertainment, ensconced as I am, in my fantasmagorical fane...