M. Balmer's page

System Syn

Straftanz - 'Mainstream! Sellout! Overground!'

I'm GMing this in my homebrew campaign. Bypassing the lengthy backstory, we have

Kingdom: Mournwood (a barony, by the kingdom building rules)

Capital: Tribehome (named for the gnolls who used to live there)

Locations of note: Hardscrabble Abbey (Tribehome's black market)
The Iron Harlot (a brothel and debtor's prison in one)
Bleak Mountain (caster's tower)
Smelton (industrial town)

'Black Symphony' by Within Temptation

I frakking love the Starship Troopers movie. It is an unfortunate casualty of the book vs. movie crowd, however, and created a schism because I have yet to run into someone who loved the book but hated the movie and was actually something approaching civil about their problems with the movie. If you want to watch a Starship Troopers that's closer to the book, there was an excellent(if old) anime put out about it.

I love both the book and the movie, and I realise the movie is meant to be unrealistic. Paul Verhoeven (sp?) is known for being over the top.

That's why I love it. Having served in the military and being shot at in anger, I know just how unrealistic it is (so does my dad, the Vietnam vet). The movie is corny, cheesy, and absolute, pure fun. I just sit back and watch the pretty explosions.

Another guilty pleasure: Under Siege.

I don't care for Steven Segal as a general rule, but I love the shots of U.S.S. Missouri. Sadly, the ship is better looking and a better actor than he is.

When I opened the Tome I found something missing - there were no creaking noises from the spine.

Hold on. Do you mean the book's spine, or the UPS guy's?

I'm using it for my homebrew. It has led to some interesting questions, though.

Do elves need to clear a forest hex in order to start building a settlement? What about 'farm' hexes?

Can dwarves convert mines directly into houses or other 'buildings'?

Thankfully, I'm good an improvisation and the players are willing to work with me. No major problems, just little tweaks here and there.

One thing I'm having problems with is coming up with Resources appropriate to an elven-themed kingdom. Mines and mineral deposits don't seem fit into forest terrain.

There's only so many times you can have a grove of trees that will be good for bows, fields of medicinal herbs, and the like. I have one idea:

Freddie, you are missed.

Meet the Feebles

Dead Alive

In all fairness Death Race (remake with Statham) was fun. But then again Jason Statham has become that guy, you know the one who's movie isn't going to be very good, but still fun to watch? Yea that's him now. Not like the Guy Richie days...

Acutally, I did enjoy the remake, but I don't think it qualifies for this sort of list. It's not one of those cheesy, awful movies that you just sit back and enjoy. Plus, in the remake, you don't get to see Frankenstein take on the French air force.

Oh, and I forgot:

Starship Troopers (or, the Hollywood School of Infantry). If the real army had been anything like this, I would have never left.

Surf Nazis Must Die

Death Race 2000 (not, I repeat, not the remake)

Deathsport

Cannonball (not, I repeat, not Cannonball Run)

The Gumball Rally

Oh, you want to make martial arts style? Let's see, one from the Kick category, one from the Mental category, one from the Strike category...

What about the Weapon vs. Armour Class chart, and the Dragon Magazine 'to hit' calculator?

Here's a thought:

Maybe the guy was right the first time, the world ended 6 Sep 1994, we're all dead, and this is Hell.

It would explain a great many things...

gbonehead wrote:

Dark_Mistress wrote:

I was kinda curious if anyone got my Bob reference from earlier.

Not I, but now I'm curious.

Its a quote from a movie. :)

Titan A.E.?

I have a coworker who does roller derby. I'm sending her the link, she'll love it.

Roller girls vs. zombies? Right on!

Quis costodiet ipsos costodes?

The meat of the future is us two legs...

Soylent Green is people! Soon they'll be raising us like cattle!

Yes, I knew about that one already (see my first post)

Since my PC is a half-elf, I may be very well go with that one...

Here's one from Privateer Press.

I think they also have a small unit of stag cavalry, if you're looking for a male figure.

Edit: Found this one

And the unit

Hope this helps, Purple Dragon Knight.

Limited Ed. Goblin Faction shirts would be awesome too.

+1!

For the symbol, either a burning torch, a salt shaker, or a dog silhouette with a red circle and slash superimposed on it?

57. A shed snake skin

58. A whetstone

59. Shards of broken pottery

60. Pottery jars containing dried paints in a variety of colours

61. A broken violin bow

62. A lute with a broken neck

63. An empty oil flask

64. A piece of coloured chalk

The Three Musketeers/The Four Musketeers

Swashbuckler

Plunkett & Macleane

It took place in a pioneer or frontier town. They used flintlocks and dueling rapiers against sabretoothed cats. There were domesticated mammoths. The town owner was a miser. The innkeeper seemed like a strict old retired femme-paladin. The BBEG was some kind of demon-possessed gargoyle.

'Thirteenth Child' by Patricia C. Wrede?

I saw some of the trailer. It was like having someone poop in my eyes until I changed the channel.

I just placed an order for the hardcover.

I want to thank you for making a print option available - I have the damndest time with PDFs, which makes buying from some of the independent publishers an exercise in frustration.

Here's a couple events I came up with:

Cattle rustlers (continuous): Thieves are stealing livestock from your farms. Make a Stability check; success means your kingdom’s marshal has broken up the ring, with no cost to the kingdom. A failed check reduces your kigdom’s Treasury by 1d4. Increase Unrest by 1 for each Event Phase that this event continues.

Cavalry Raid: A rival kingdom sends a small, mobile force across the border to disrupt your kingdom and inspire terror in your populace. A successful Stability check indicates your kingdom’s defenses have repulsed the attack without significant loss. Failing the Stability check costs your kingdom the reduction to Consumption from 1d4 farmland hexes until the next Event Phase, and your kingdom gains 1 Unrest for each hex affected by the raid.

EDIT: It occurrred to me that the Cavalry Raid is an event the PCs could visit on a rival kingdom, such as Pitax, once things heat up.

Have the General (or ruler, if the General is an NPC) make an opposed Profession (soldier) or Ride check against the rival kingdom's Stability. Success brings BP equal to 1/2 the other kingdom's Consumption loss. Alternately, the raid delays the arrival of an enemy army by 1d3 days as they have to deal with obstacles, ambuscades, refugees, and other disruptions as they march to battle.

Please pardon the threadjack, I just wanted to throw that out there.

Dan Abnett's 'Double Eagle' is worth a read. It's a WH40K telling of the Battle of Britan. I found it very enjoyable.

Richard Pett wrote:

... - blades or pistols sir - blades or pistols I say!

The fact that you'll do a fine job is irrelevant, to arms sir, come come!

Only *girls* fight with swords. Real men duel with cannons! Mnarrrrr!

Sod cannons. Real men duel with flamethowers!

I would recommend anything by Midnight Syndicate or Nox Arcana.

9. Afraid of possible interference with their war song, a goblin pursues a musician rabidly, throwing rocks and taking swings with his horsechopper. The hapless flutist is a commoner, not a bard, and is incapable of performing a countersong. The goblin can't tell the difference, unfortunately.

6. Two goblins fight over a barrel of salt pork.

7. A goblin discovers one of Sandpoint's taverns and proceeds to get rip roaring drunk.

8. After getting a cloak wrapped around his head, a goblin attacks in a random direction each round.

PS: I also think you're wrong about dwarves being ugly. Dwarven women are hot. =P

+1!

As for Imrijka, I think she's hot, too.

I've been wondering if the Kingdom building rules and Mass Combat Rules from Kingmaker AP will be reprinted in later book or should I run out and snatch up the Kingmaker AP before they disappear.

I'd grab then while you can, just in case.

Personally, I would like to see both articles expanded upon. I have players asking how the city building rules would work in a dwarven [underground] settlement, where 'buildings' might be excavated from rock.

The rules provided are great for Kingmaker, but limited in other applications. I'm sure this is due to space considerations, and why use valuable space in the AP to cover situations that will probably not arise in the course of that adventure?

If Paizo were to enhance and expand the kingdom building and city building rules to cover other kinds of terrain and sensibilities, I would be interested in such a product. Possible ideas: elven forest settlements, underwater [aboleth] cities, dwarven tunnel towns, or the cloud-top settlements of storm giants.

I'm not expecting Paizo to make any such product, but I can hope.

Umbra et Imago 'Momento Mori'

we have decided to open our own soap business.

What do you think?

The first rule of soap club is: You do not talk about soap club.

The second rule of soap club is: You do not talk about soap club.

Absolutely brilliant. Anyone consider opening up a butcher shop specializing in long pig?

145. The worst fears of several physicists are realized when the atomic bomb test in Alamogordo, NM ignites the planet's atmosphere.

All life on the surface of Earth is extinguished.

101) The Zimmerman telegram is sent to the White House in 1917, offering Canada to the US if President Wilson will ally with Germany against England and France

102) The US maintains strict neutrality in the second world war. Lend/lease is not enacted, and US warships are not used to patrol the Canadian coast. The resulting strain on resources causes England to capitulate in 1943, in order to prevent an invasion by Germany

99) Admiral Kimmel is warned to move the Pacific fleet out of Pearl Harbor on 5 Dec 1941. The Japanese air raid causes damage to facilities, but no major ships are lost. The battleship-focused US fleet is battered and loses the battle of Midway. This causes the war in the Pacific theatre to shift in favour of the Japanese until Col. Doolittle flies a B-25 from the deck of USS Hornet, dropping an atomic bomb on Tokyo in early 1946

94) Bowing to public outcry following the sinking of the Lusitania, President Woodrow Wilson leads the US into The Great War in 1915

95) Under pressure from the Irish immigrant population, President Woodrow Wilson intervenes in the Irish rebellion of 1916, bringing the US into the Great War on the side of the Triple Alliance.

96) While in Mexico, searching for Pancho Villa, 1st Lieutenant George S. Patton is killed by 5 banditos.

97) Deciding it will win more favour with England and France, Adolf Hilter focuses the Nazi party against communism, rather than Jews. In 1936, Germany, Finland, and Poland invade Russia, supported by France and England

98) King Edward VII refuses to abdicate. His Nazi sympathies cause England to ally with Germany against France in May 1940.

Nice approach, it would be beneficial to add in other skills to the pool, or to the roll, so if you are an expert in an area like knowledge(arcana), streetwise, etc. that it would benefit the character as a resource.

Thanks, I had considered that but I think the easiest way to approach the other skills is pre-Duel of Wits. For example, if the PCs are gathering information about a certain NPC before confronting him the GM might have them roll up checks pertaining to the situation, whatever they may be: streetwise, knowledge, sense motive, etc. Depending on how well they make the checks, the GM can add points to their disposition before engaging in a Duel of Wits.

This makes more sense to me because having more information won't make the PCs any more or less eloquent, it just might help them and give them a leg to stand on in their body of argument. It also works better so that I can keep the system nice and simple

Perhaps you might treat it as a synergy bonus?

For example: a spellcaster is engaging in a Duel of Wits on the subject of magic. The character's skill level in Knowledge (arcana) or Spellcraft is 5 or more, granting a +2 synergy bonus to his Diplomacy, Intimidate, or Bluff checks. Since he knows something about the subject, the relevant skill should provide some sort of bonus.

Perhaps a pre-duel Bluff check for characters who don't know anything about the subject but are going to try to engage in a Duel of Wits anyway. Make a Bluff check against the opponent's Perception check. If the check succeeds he gets a +1 situational modifier to Duel of Wits rolls for every 5 full points over his opponent's roll. If he fails the Bluff check, he suffers -1 to all rolls in the Duel for every 3 points the opponent beats his Bluff roll.

I really like your idea. I'm already thinking of ways to incorporate this into my games. Thanks!

Pteradactyls = Win :D

Why stop at pteradactyls? Wyverns!

If battle takes place in a strait known for its rookeries of highly-territorial wyverns, the halfling air corps will have someone to play with.

This choice of battleground could be intentional on th part of the sahaugin. Wyverns would be difficult to recruit as allies, but that part would be up to you. They might be convinced to ally with the sahaugin to counter the eagles and griffons (bribes and an appropriate show of force required, of course). They are intelligent and they're dragons.

If the wyverns are not allied with the sahaugin, they might go after everyone. Why have a 2-way battle if you can handle a 3-way fight?

I don't know if these have been posted yet, but I have a few.

'Disrespect' used as a verb. You can show disrespect, you can be disrespectful, but you cannot disrespect anything. It is not a verb!

I have heard newscasters use this term, and I do not mean as a quote of some other idiot. No, the idiocy is theirs.

Split infinitives. Thank you, Bill Shatner. '...to boldly go...' Bite me, space boy, it's '...to go boldly...' Nothing gets between the 'to' and the verb in an infinitive.

The appending of the suffix '-ery' in the restaurant business. 'Bakery' is fine, but there are no such words as 'carvery,' 'eatery,' or 'steakery'.

The suffix '-age' to make a word sound more important. 'Signage,' for example. What's wrong with 'signs'? 'Coinage' for 'coins'. The US Army even uses the term 'tentage'. It sounds more impressive than 'tents', I guess. Shall we now refer to basketball as 'hoopage', hockey as 'puckage', etc., ad nauseum?

A trend that I blame the Food Network for: the word 'reduction' as applied to making a liquid-based condiment. We used to call it 'sauce' or 'gravy'. Now, in order to sound properly pretentious, the meat popscicles on Food Network use that other term.

I have a question for you, Rick.

If I make a pledge to the project, and it fails to reach the $5K goal by the stated date, will the pledged amount be returned?

BryonD wrote:

Will there be another poster map in this update?

(maybe with Region instead of "Reigon") :P

To be honest... fixing that hideous typo is priority #1. We came VERY CLOSE to canceling the book's initial release and missing a Gen Con launch to reprint the posters and replace them all in the entire print run... but that would have cost so much AND would have made us miss Gen Con that we had to basically just swallow our pride and release the book with a super embarrassing typo. Not my proudest moment, I can tell you that.

It's not a typo, it's artistic licence to provide flavour for the campaign setting.

Why swallow your pride when you can maintain plausible deniability?

Join the Mobile Infantry!

Fight the bug menace!

Aren't heavy flails 2-handed weapons?

So you'd have to use paired light flails in order to do the two-weapon build with flails. Or the dire flail, as some have suggested.

I've got a flail wielding fighter. I'm thinking of taking the Monkey Grip feat and using a large heavy flail. Definitely inspired by the Witch King of Angmar in Return of the King.

Maybe your GM wouldn't be opposed to the use of that feat to allow a heavy flail to be wielded in one hand? Bending the rules a bit, certainly, but it might be worth discussing.

I don't think cheesecake art is necessary.

Look at the picture of Queen Ileosa on pg. 56 of 'Edge of Anarchy' or Lady Andaisin on pg. 55 of 'Seven Days to the Grave'. Both are fully clothed, yet beautiful.

When it's better to make friends with the kobolds than to kill the twisted little runts, I say D&D has lost it's way!

My players had better kill those kobolds..or they'll sneak into villages and eat the children! Just think of the children!

;-)

Ken

I am thinking of the children...and getting hungry!

Baby: the other other white meat.

There was a time when I wanted a facial piercing, but I am such a coward when it comes to pain I couldn't do it. Even that little bit of pain made me too nervous. Same with getting a tattoo.

Yeah, I know, its pretty sad but at least I admit it. :)

It's not for everyone. I must have a high pain tolerence, I would only consider one of my piercings to have been truly painful. The rest stung or were uncomfortable or I didn't even feel.

I have one, really twisted player.

Speaking about stereotypes, I would like to think I don't fit those. I am a bit chunky (though I am losing the weight finally)

Congrats on losing the weight.

I have facial piercings, my septum and eyebrow x2. The septum's a 6ga, so it's pretty hefty.

Little old ladies freak when I do things like open doors for them. Their reactions were even better when I had a mohawk.

I suppose they were expecting me to steal their social securty cheques and give them Satanic head bitey...