Lord Secretary of Nature's page

In the long ago time, the prophet IssacX came forth, and he made great lament and bitter denunciation against the Postmonster General, saying, "LO, the Forums art Way Too Long." And at the word of the prophet, there was a great assembly of the most puissant of the Paizonians. For the prophet had foresee that the chosen ones would gather not lest a great lament and bitter denunciation be made, and he did sacrifice himself on behalf of the people, that they might be gathered together from the lengths and breadths and depths of the board. And though IssacX, Servant of the Living Board, hath passed to the Great Beyond, wherein he has his soul hath reward in golden light even as his body rotteth in the ground, yet he hath an issue and an heritage here, as his seed, the FaWTLies (as they came to be known) do witness that, YEA, the Forums are Way Too Long, and they do yet labor together that they may be longer still.

Thus Endeth the Lesson.

I think Mairkurion has an alias to cover the first word of your second post, taig.

There's something I don't have an alias to cover?

If you ever think this occurs, fill out these forms {hands ream of paper} and file them with one of my office girls.

Moorluck wrote:

I think next year we should kidnap Lucas and freeze him in carbonite as a gift for Lisa. Not only would it get us all kinds of free swag, but it would put an end to the ruining of my childhood. A win/win.

I approve this idea. :)

I count that as a second. All in favor say...

AYE!

Am I obligated to post in every FaWtL thread, since I posted in the last one?

It all comes down to this: Do you want to keep your Awesome Status? Only you can answer that question.

I authorized this blitz and all the resources it consumed to celebrate the happy occasion of the honeymooners' return!

I move that Pathfinder RPG be declared the official RPG of the fictional realm of FAWtLand!

Your still free to play what you wish of course, but we will shoot you. With a Nerf gun. In the crotch. Repeatedly.

Has anybody heard from Taig as of late? He hasn't posted in forever it seems.

Seconded.

Lord Secretary of Nature wrote:

Mac Boyce wrote:

Studpuffin wrote:

Our car has a bee hive forming in it. We don't know if they made it to the trunk yet or not, but the busted rear tail light has a few combs. Any clue on what we should do?

Kill the bloody things. With fire if you have to.

BURN THEM ALIVE.

Seriously though, call an exterminator. Preferably Moorluck. ;)

Mac, bees are our friends. They're also a natural resource, and thus heavily regulated by my office.

Bees are a blight on the planet and can kill me in less than 3 minutes.

They MUST BURN.

Look at it this way: every super hero has to have a weakness. Just stay away from bees. (And of course, don't piss me off, now that you foolishly revealed your weakness to me.)

Studpuffin wrote:

Our car has a bee hive forming in it. We don't know if they made it to the trunk yet or not, but the busted rear tail light has a few combs. Any clue on what we should do?

Kill the bloody things. With fire if you have to.

BURN THEM ALIVE.

Seriously though, call an exterminator. Preferably Moorluck. ;)

Mac, bees are our friends. They're also a natural resource, and thus heavily regulated by my office.

Eat more children. Don't waste natural resources.

Lord President Moorluck wrote:

Studpuffin wrote:

Garydee wrote:

Studpuffin wrote:

Hey Moff, check this out.

New Madrid Fault Zone

My hometown of Kennett, Mo is almost directly on it.

We live just north of St. Louis and don't feel many of the effects, but we get to feel some of them. Article says the fault may be shutting down... huh.

You have to understand Lord Secretary of Nature Mairkurion has been forced to make some cut backs. It was either the fault or the Nymph belly dancers.... buh-bye faultline.

Our priorities are well in order, Lord President. Necklines and hemlines first, fault lines way second.

Also, chorus lines and congo lines were preserved.

Studpuffin wrote:

Garydee wrote:

Studpuffin wrote:

Hey Moff, check this out.

New Madrid Fault Zone

My hometown of Kennett, Mo is almost directly on it.

We live just north of St. Louis and don't feel many of the effects, but we get to feel some of them. Article says the fault may be shutting down... huh.

You have to understand Lord Secretary of Nature Mairkurion has been forced to make some cut backs. It was either the fault or the Nymph belly dancers.... buh-bye faultline.

Our priorities are well in order, Lord President. Necklines and hemlines first, fault lines way second.

Or should I have said, "certify"?

Where's my Girl Friday? Oh wait, it's Monday.

I didn't authorize the use of all these resources!

You wrote them, but I control them. By the way, you forgot to fill out the requisite forms and pay the attached fees for referring to the laws of nature®. Fines will be assessed, Algore.

Mairkurion {tm} wrote:

I went back and read from where I bookmarked. Oh Dear Lord. I think my brains are rotting in my skull. Heathy and the Jester took camping to an all new low. At least it enabled speed reading the four pages with almost nothing substantive.

<Throws spitting cobras at Mairkurion>

We'll have our tree yet!

I told you people last month: if you want a Xmas tree, you need to fill out the appropriate forms and submit them along with your application fee (cash only) to my office.

This thread kills trees.

Back off, pal...I'm in charge of Nature.

Embrace nature, people!!!

Citified sissies...

Who authorized the bombing of a part of Nature by weapons also made of Nature?

Heads are going to roll for this one!

The top of something, if it is a thing, is a thing of nature.

Official post

Under my authority you may do so at your leisure.

I HEREBY and EVER HENCEFORTH COMMAND the CONSUMPTION of MORE BACON. ALWAYS and EVERYWHERE, it must be a matter of MORE bacon.

Those don't exist in Mairkurion's world. How fortunate, eh? Must suck to exist in some industrial world that is bent on self-destruction. And of course, it'd just be crazy metaphysics to suggest that the existence of this world depends on the existence of some other one...

Remember: Posting is fun and it uses up NO NATURAL RESOURCES.
It's one of the few things you can do without applying to the Department of Nature. Enjoy your posting.

This message was brought to you by your Department of Nature and approved by Lord Secretary Mairkurion.

FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!!!!!!!!

Let God sort 'em out!

4

9

Try to miss the important parts of Nature, otherwise, if it's not irreplaceable, we'll just make more. Thank you for your support.

Lord Secretary War-Bucks wrote:

Sebastian wrote:

David Fryer wrote:

Is anyone else looking forward to the return of sub-races? In particular I can't wait for Pathfinder versions of disco elves and stripclub elves.

I am. I can finally make a party devoted to what is most important in life: hookers & blow.

thats all you need in life man hookers & blow, hookers & blow

by the way who is in charge of that department around here?

Houston Derek is in charge of that dept if I remember correctly!

Except in so far as they are natural resources that need to be appropriated...heh, heh, heh...

Is it possible for anything to be here and for it to be posted to the wrong thread?

Yes to Dune RPG. They're were a couple of support sites for it at one point, don't know if they are still around. And yes to singing. Could the two be worked together some how...?

EDIT: Woops, forgot to refresh.

I'm confused. Why is WotC giving Sebastian a bunch of daisies?

Yes. Yes, you are.

Sebastian, you may purchase as many daisies as you want from the Dept of Nature. Just fill out this <heave> stack of forms, and submit to our intrusive credit check. Also, we may request samples, in case there is a demand for any more ponies of your type. We've received none to date, but we like to keep Genetics fully stocked, just in case.

Plants new Administrative Grove in-between bottomless Ravine of Complaints and Lake of Staff Retreats.

Dammit! Where is that Tarrasque and why isn't it doing it's job!?

Comma. You don't even believe in God, you crazy-haired commie, so shut the hell up.

Stamps "Rejected by Nature" across his face with a big permanent ink stamp.

God, I hate that bastard.

Lord Secretary of Nature wrote:

Pyongyang?

No way. Kim Jong-Il is crazier than those poodles. I'd be afraid that he'd show up on the boards and threadcrap everything.

Ship the poodles there? Let two problems potentially take care of each other?

Pyongyang?

I just commissioned an initial study for Operation Mount Jamaica.
It will study the feasibility of raising the elevation of the rest of Jamaica to maximize the land that may be used for Blue Mountain coffee cultivation. After all, aside from beaches, what else is the land in Jamaica for?

and lest you think I overlooked the fact:

Coffee belongs to the Domain of Nature.

I'm a consensus builder...a common ground finder...

There ya go!

Lord Secretary of Nature wrote:

Gark the Goblin wrote:

On another note, I pledge the armies of hobgoblins, the spies of bugbears, and the shock troops of goblins to the cause of anti-poodledom.

I endorse the candidacy of Gark based on his commitment of the Goblins to put down the poodle menace. Further, I issue the Hobgoblins a perpetual license to brew ale. Just keep those bugbear freaks away from me, out of my woods, stalking and strangling poodles.

Aww, but they only kill animals when they have to. They're usually more busy killing humanoids.

May I remind the Hon. Goblin that humanoids are part of the Domain of Nature...as are yummy chicks...and boobies.

Why shouldn't our slogan include both? (Though, I am a leg man, m'self.)

On another note, I pledge the armies of hobgoblins, the spies of bugbears, and the shock troops of goblins to the cause of anti-poodledom.

I endorse the candidacy of Gark based on his commitment of the Goblins to put down the poodle menace. Further, I issue the Hobgoblins a perpetual license to brew ale. Just keep those bugbear freaks away from me, out of my woods, stalking and strangling poodles.

Then I presume I would advise the Lord President on this appointment.

My motto: "It it's in Nature, it's in my domain."

Are Goblins a part of Nature?

Don't give that aberrant pooch bonus points, you soft-hearted although mind-boggling wise greenman!

Lord President, Lord-Secretaries of the Cabinet, I have issued an official proclamation of the Domain of Nature, to wit:

Poodles, though having their origin in Nature, are an aberration of it, which no longer puts them under the umbrella of Nature, thus they have been divested of all rights and privileges appertaining to members of the same.