Lord of All Insects's page

Sorry yall. I'm goin' back to Louisiana. Gotta Saints game to watch.

Zeb! Get over here before the hillbillies do sumtin stoopid. Now git in the box so I cans take ya back to de lab.

It'd be great if Moorluck could come in here and fumigate these bugs. This place would be a great spot for the Jacks to build another clubhouse.

You can't kill all of us. We live in the wood and the pipes too. Besides we have beer.

Ah, 44 posts and rising. Breed my minions breed and will shall overrun the forum boards.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE LORD OF ALL INSECTS

Just a reminder that sharp objects and projectile weapons will not be tolerated within the cult. Any infraction of cult policy will result in a trip to the Black Widow. And you don't want to see her.

The Lord hath given! Thou shalt not take away!

Runs through thread, quickly stuffing flying snacks into his mouth.

The Lord of All Insects quickly summons to large bouncers and ejects St. John from the thread.

"...and stop eating my friends."

Don't know much about saints do ya, Lord of the Flies?

Continues feasting on clean insects.

Hey, anybody got any honey?

That's "All Insects", and I'm Baptist, if the truth must be said. St. John is escorted out the door for his crime against the insect kingdoms.

WOW! Another 24 hr All-You-Can-Eat!

NOM NOM NOM!

The maggots will get to your head and corpse soon sonny. Now where is Blood Sample?

You know us bugs and sugar.

SUGAR! I WANT COOKIES NOW!!!!!

D+ in Algebra!! Its completely transferable and a PASS!!! YAYYYY!!!

Beat ya, A got a C-

Oh yes, the Bug Cult thread is officially open. Come one, come all, come as a bug.

Awww, a bug cult!

::Scratches his thorax and preens his antennae.::

I was hoping you would show up. Remember, all bugs are equal on this thread. No acts of violence or comsumption are allowed.

Lord of All Insects wrote:

No. We're into eco-terrorism.

Can I join? {hops up and down excitedly} I'm 1/2 wolf spider and 1/2 chuul... does that make me sufficently bug-like?

You can climb aboard! Heck I'd take you if you wear a high priestess of Lolth. Today the corn fields of Nebraska, tomorrow we march and devour the Redwoods of California.

I just want everyone to know that the bug cult is open for memebership, but you need to be a bug avatar, or need a bug name to join.

Come one come all to the hive.

:leaves thread:

I just want everyone to know that the bug cult is open for memebership, but you need to be a bug avatar, or need a bug name to join.

Come one come all to the hive.

:leaves thread:

I just want everyone to know that the bug cult is open for memebership, but you need to be a bug avatar, or need a bug name to join.

Come one come all to the hive.

:leaves thread:

I just want everyone to know that the bug cult is open for memebership, but you need to be a bug avatar, or need a bug name to join.

Come one come all to the hive.

:leaves thread:

The fee will be High to match the danger of this Run. Any supplies you need can be gotten from us through your Fixer. I need an answer soon.

No. We're into eco-terrorism.

Insects of the world, you finally have a thread to call your own.

Come one, come all, bring the kids, discuss topics that concern bugs and insects alone.

No fumigation.

Driders allowed.

You are new here, aren't you? Or maybe confused by the whole metric to Jack Imperial Units thingie. You aren't phrasing your question correctly:

"A Jack drank three kegs from a six pack and had three more kegs left on the pallet. How many more should he get and how many more can he drink?"

Being a Jack, he can drink as many as he pleases. So your questions are pointless.

BTW, you know that Slaadi are distantly related to frogs, right? {licks lips at the talking snack}

That's it, we're leaving. Scoops up Noisy Cricket Let's get away from the Slaads and Jacks and Keggers.

Walks out the door

Noisy_Cricket wrote:

Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:

Obi-Jack wrote:

How many days between the bosses' birthday and the 17th? The celebration could last longer than a day. Fortnight? Nah, it's longer than that. Someone make math.

Jacks don't do math.

They should! ::Churp::

*lifts leg* *SQUISH!!!* Damn bugs are bad this time of year.

Oh, for the love of God, I wish you didn't do that. He was a friend of mine.

Lord of All Insects wrote:

Cyber Dragonborn wrote:

While no sign of what grabbed the missing dromite can be found, deep scratches in the floor can be discovered 100 yards away.

The two remaining dromites continue to survey the area. One touchs the floor and the interior of the Sanctum is alight brightly. The Lord of All Insects jumps back into spacial view. He motions a triangle shape gesture with his fingers to the dromites. The dromites nod and follow him approximately 100 yards.

Sensory link - visual, audio, and tactile and short-term memory enhancement

High above them, shrouded in darkness, a metal dragon moves silently from pillar to pillar. Padding and powerful suction cups on it's claws allow this to be possible. It begins to follow the dromites and Lord of All Insects...

Right now only Suuny could see it, and only if he thinks to look up. LoAI might hear it though, what with his increased senses.

Tapping the vast arsenal of weapons that is the insect kingdom, the Lord of All Insects grins. His senses magify to an astonishing degree, including scent and taste. His chitinous exterior thickens to that of a giant tick and turns crimson red. He motions the dromites to stand clear.

While no sign of what grabbed the missing dromite can be found, deep scratches in the floor can be discovered 100 yards away.

The two remaining dromites continue to survey the area. One touchs the floor and the interior of the Sanctum is alight brightly. The Lord of All Insects jumps back into spacial view. He motions a triangle shape gesture with his fingers to the dromites. The dromites nod and follow him approximately 100 yards.

Sensory link - visual, audio, and tactile and short-term memory enhancement

Lord of All Insects wrote:

The dromites begin to chitter amongst themselves. At first, it wasn't the nolise of scrapping metal, it was the vibration it produced that alerted them to potential danger. Silent as the grave, their eyes flash in union and a message is sent to someone else in the Sanctum. The other two prepare a make-shift defense.

Precognition

"Defend yourselves," utters the Lord of All Insects, his eyes flash brigthly.

As the dromites begin to make their defense, one turns away to grab something needed. When it(he/she?) turns back, the other dromite is gone.

The other Dromites squeal in unexpected terror and suddenly flare with a strong bright light. The Lord of All Insects grits his chitinous teeth in anticipation. Chitinous blades extract from his foreamrs. Then suddenly his body blurs out of existance slightly.

Ready when you are Lord of All Insects!

Slowly the clicking stops and silence falls in the halls of the Sanctum. The lack of sound begins to unnerve the dromites.

The dromites begin to chitter amongst themselves. At first, it wasn't the nolise of scrapping metal, it was the vibration it produced that alerted them to potential danger. Silent as the grave, their eyes flash in union and a message is sent to someone else in the Sanctum. The other two prepare a make-shift defense.

Prcognition

"Defend yourselves," utters the Lord of All Insects, his eyes flash brigthly.

Time to bring in some heavy metal...

From deep within the Sanctum's most secure.. er, sanctum, a dragon unfurls with the sound of metal sliding on metal. Slowly this metallic dragon moves toward the Sanctum's main area.

"Come on, I thought I heard a noise, like scrappng metal. LEt's check it out."

With three other dromites, the Lord of All Insect proceed cautiously to the source of the noise.

The dwarven lord of a mountain stronghold, with his retinue of half a dozen guards in mithral plate, wanders the tables of the casino, spending his gold and socialising with the various guests.

He approaches the Dwarven Lord and his retinue.

"Compliments of the House Sir. Four waiters each carrying serving trays topped with tankards and flagons of the house's strongest dwarven brew. If you need anything else, call me."

Mmmmm.......brainnnssss

"Sorry sir, we're fresh out of them. However I can rustle up from intestine from the pantry if you would like them."

Bars over there. Man I need some staff! Where's that cute Lord of all Insects?

Here I am! :::Waves:::

I left the wife and kids at the oasis. I think they buried the Dalesman up to his neck in sand. :::Grins:::

Got my health cards and cooking permits in order so I'm off to the kitchen. But you should check the upper floors. We have our own rooms with HD flat screen Televisions, satelite channels and radio, and internet access. There's even day care for the five grubs when the misses feels the need to get away from the kids.

Hey everybody. I was ushered to the Oasis by Sunny Godhead. He's taken me on his temple's new chef. With the way the economy is running, I need need a job and cash to feed my wives and children.

Hey everybody. :::waves:::

I heard about Club Callistra, Sorry to see it go but hey, mind if I drop in with the family?

Yes, I'm a father. My second wife just had five children. No I have a family of grubs to feed.

I possess a repertoire of psionics abilities if you need any help.

Morning everybody. Hey, Blood_Sample, you have a message for me?

The giant mosquito flutters his wings in excitement and darts towards the Lord of All Insects.

Ok, he says as he unstraps the scroll case.

He pets his cherished messenger on the head like a puppy and unfurfurals he the document.

What have we here?

Lord of All Insects wrote:

I'll go for two enchilladas, extra sauce, hold the onions, two beef soft tacos, extra cheese and lettuce and a pint of lager. Building up energy for tonight's dance as he loks at the Dalesman.

By the way, how faire the Realms lately. I heard the higher powers knocked-off Mystra again for the third time.

"I was on another world when it happened, thank the gods. Fortunately for me I tend to favor Tymora."

"The little I have heard doesn't sound like home anymore. So I've embraced my wanderlust a bit more than usual."

The things change the more they stay the same. Given low sales numbers and poor public response, they have Relams back to herself in no time. But for now, it's Golarion and its new splendor.

Bites into his enchillada

Wow! That's spicy.

Look at the tiefling waitress

Uh, do you have any bread rolls handy?

Acme Robot wrote:

Acme rolls up to the two regulars

*BEEP*

What provender would you two gentlemen like this evening?

"I'm up for some seafood, Acme, and a good wine to match please."

I'll go for two enchilladas, extra sauce, hold the onions, two beef soft tacos, extra cheese and lettuce and a pint of lager. Building up energy for tonight's dance as he loks at the Dalesman.

By the way, how faire the Realms lately. I heard the higher powers knocked-off Mystra again for the third time.

The Dalesman wrote:

Heading out of work, and to the dentist (yay). I'm not sure if I'll be able to log back in tonight, but I shall try!

Well that was a fun visit. It's just not my day... ;P

After cleaning up and getting dressed, the Dalesman comes back down and grabs a table, checking to see how crowded it is already.

Yo!

Lord of All Insects replies, giving his best hand insignia.

Lord of All Insects wrote:

Entering the establishment from the guest elevator, LoAI takes a set by himself.

"Waitress," he gestures, "I need something strong to commiserate a lamented love. And some food too."

Magdalena bops over to LoAI

No problem sir, what would you like?

Two shots of vodka and a menu?

Entering the establishment from the guest elevator, LoAI takes a set by himself.

"Waitress," he gestures, "I need something strong to commiserate a lamented love. And some food too."

The Insect Lord had retired early to his rented room. His yochlol dance partner had accompanied him, and they had spent a pleasant evening in dalliance. He now starts awake and discovers himself alone. His dance partner has vanished, leaving only the faintest traces of musky perfume in the room.

He winces as he realizes he never even got her name.

A large chittinous squeeal echoes from the clubs bedchambers

I didn't get her name. Oh well, at least she wasn't that praying mantis who wanted eat my head.....

The Lord of All Insects keeps his pace with the Yochlol, however his companions, Noisy Cricket and Blood Sample are nowhere to be seeen.

...Or are they?

The slender yochlol shimmies about, her short white hair surrounding her face in a glittery nimbus. She backs it up to the Insect Lord, grinding against his carapace provocatively. Sweat from the furious pace of dancing soon slickes her dusky skin.

Inticed, he matches her pace with his own.

Lord of All Insects wrote:

He approaches the hottest yochols and says, "wanna dance?"

A yochlol dressed a white cropped belly shirt with a smiley face sprouting eight arachnid legs looks up at the Insect Lord. Her plaid skirt is scandalously short, and crisscrossed with a silver chain belt in the shape of a web. Her white hair is cut in razored bob and she is sporting white stockings and some wicked stiletto heels. She is skinny, with a taut slender figure and large violet eyes. She smiles, revealing white white teeth against her ebony skin.

Hmm .. You have a lot of stones asking. I like that. Come into my parlor ...

The yochlol stands and allows the Insect Lord to lead her to the dance floor. A nearby male Drow frowns, flips his red-steaked white hair over one eye and fingers his sword. His companions mutter and rustle in their black leather pants and purple pirate shirts.

Lord of All Insects accepts the Yochlol's hand and escorts her to the dance floor. Soon their rhythms set the tempo and the Lord of All Insects allows the Drow maiden to take the lead. Endurance aside, the Lord of All Insects takes the lead and the Yochlol into the next song.

The house stereo plays on with some funky horn elcetronica as the party gathers steam.

A haughty contingent of yochlols from Demonweb Pits, currently configured as tartan plaid miniskirt-wearing Drow females, sit aloof from the main crowd, flanked by pouty androgynous Drow males bearing sharp slender swords.

He approaches the hottest yochols and says, "wanna dance?"

Alaina appears, flying down on Minerva. She alights and walks over to Lynora-Jill. Her body is smidged and dirty, her hair frizzy and ratted. Her whip buzzes like and angry wasp in a jar.

I have been trying to stem the Defectives from advancing, but my wasps are starting to feel the strain. What's going on over here?

Looks to Acme

Where's the Oracle?

Do you need help my lady? I can call a larger army of insects to aid your companions and allies.

ABout time I found this place.

Hello Lady Calistria and where are the beverages?

Priestess looks around

Huh. These Jacks talk a good game, but a little shy no?

Heads out on floor to dance with Lynora

The Lord of All Insects follows

You look splendid in that getup girl! You're going to have the golems doing a battle royale later!

Raises rocket launcher and fires*

Um...no.

*Raises hand and deflects the shell upwards and away from the inhabitants of the Kobold-free zone.*

You're weapons are puny and insignificant. I will destro....

Hey wait a minute.

*looks at priestess of Calistria*

Be still my clicking mandibles....

Blood_Sample wrote:

Thieving Wasp wrote:

Watch it, shrimp!

*Gets out bazooka and fires*

*side-steps*

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Seeing that TW has superior fire-power, Blood Sample meanders somewhere else for another meal.

Ha! I'm the best bug around these parts!

Oh really! Kneel before your master!