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Kelim Esteban

Lord Dice's page

125 posts. Alias of Hitdice.


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I've been drinking too, but can't say I'm with you 100% on the equality thing. (Well, I've got strong feelings on it, just not in that direction.)


3 people marked this as a favorite.

Sometimes when I'm bored, I abuse members of the lower classes to entertain myself, but never their women--I'm not uncivilized!


1 person marked this as a favorite.

So that's what the caterwauling from the goblin kennels has been! I told Dicey it was the ghosts of lazy goblins, cursed to walk the earth, but a cappella goblin "music" makes more sense.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Comrade Anklebiter wrote:

Well, I'm glad to see Mlle. Deneuve never got typecast.

In other news, Downton Abbey, Season Three got me searching the web:

Branson burned down the manor home of our Lord Dunsany!!!

Take that, Elfland!

Vive le Galt!

Actually, I've come to the conclusion that Branson is a Stooge of the Plutocracy, and I am desperately awaiting someone to set Downton on fire.

Vive le Galt!

Oh, pish, it's been obvious from season one that Branson was a limousine liberal, he just happened to be driving the thing.

Also:

"Hey, yo, Lord Grantham, don't let the staff read books from your library! It gives them ideas!" I swear, to hear *ahem* the Lineal Sovereign Lady Dice (look, whatever) talk about it, and to watch Downton Abbey you'd think that the Lady Dowager and I are the only ones who even understand why society should be stratified to begin with. Well, Carson's alright; y'know, for a servant.


I thought they wore jumpsuits in prison these days.

Anyhow, here on the Dice Estate, men frequently wear make-up and high heels, and the women wear their hair braided into bird cages, with song birds inside. I mean, okay, I try to color coordinate my eyeshadow with the piping on my high heels, but you'll never catch me wearing a guano-catch cap, cause I'm a dude, and that's female fashion.

My point? Looking for a reasonable explanation for fashion trends is a fool's errand.

Speaking seriously to GreatKhanArtist, the places I've worked have had that policy for kitchen staff, but floor staff is allowed tasteful/reasonable jewelry. I've never worked anyplace that has required anyone (kitchen or floor staff) to remove their wedding ring, but that's a special case, and most kitchen staff usually chooses to before they start shoving organ meats into the sausage grinder or whatever.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

This sort of thing makes me sick! Granted, Lady Dice, who's half-elven, is a softer touch with the estate's goblins than I am, but ye gods! So what, we're all just supposed ignore industrial progress in favor of pastoral pipe dream? This is exactly the sort of "historic victory" I'd expect to hear bandied about in the goblin kennels.


BigDTBone wrote:
Hitdice wrote:
I'm specifically asking about how you equate tattoos and piercings with "serious lack of personal hygiene."
It's a conscious choice made by an individual which has the likely and foreseeable consequence of causing others to be uncomfortable around that individual.

You really think lack of personal hygiene is some sort of conscious choice people make, rather than some indigent situation they end up in?

'Cause I don't let Dicey wash in clean water (sorry, it's a commodity) and then I make fun of how bad he smells in front of other people; no, seriously, you should attend one of my cocktail parties, it's hilarious!


Comrade Anklebiter wrote:
Guy Humual wrote:
What Mandela's deal did was give people a chance that they wouldn't have had before.

Discussion Piece #2

Just so I'm clear: Life still sucks in Angola, therefore armed struggle is futile; life still sucks for the black masses in South Africa, yay Mandela?

But, Doodles (and yes, I'm speaking in the voice of Lord Dice) however badly life may suck for the black masses in South Africa at present, you aren't honestly trying to say that we shouldn't appreciate Nelson Mandala as a political figure on the occasion of his death, right? 'Cause that's exactly the sort of the that black masses in South Africa totally appreciate.


Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:

My English ancestor was forced to expatriate from Old Hampshire after he was found in a compromising position with a Jersey cow, a common garden implement and the son of a respected Nonconformist preacher.

Which was much more exciting than my Italian ancestor, who was forced to expatriate after being fingered by his neighbors as a smuggler.

The reasons my Scots and German ancestors were forced to expatriate remains shrouded in mystery and scandal to this day.

Give me your tired, your poor
Your huddled goblins yearning to be free
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore

and, boy, were they wretched.

Y'see, it's s**t like this that makes me glad Demesne Dice wasn't a signatory to the the Statutes of Liberty.


Oh, I disagree Comte, and Dicey has it all wrong. As a sovereign noble, I'm a bit of a socialist myself. Within the borders of Demesne Dice, I collect my subject's surplus income (everything) in the form of taxes, and provide whatever services I deem essential (beer) for the good of my demesne.

I love socialism; I'm happy to "collect" every spare cent my subjects manage to scrape from their subsistence farming, and they're happen to drink the beer they make from the grain that's too rotten to sell. It really is a win-win situation!


Welcome to the twenty-first century, Doodlebug; I like like books because because I heat my house with a wood stove, and books are good for burning. :P


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Well, sure, they were both kings; toss in Tywin Lannister and that's a crowd I'd gladly hobnob with!

Now that I think of it, it might of been when I described Cija as "the ideal of female aristocracy" that Lady Dice and I started sleeping seperate bedrooms. No, wait, I tell a lie; it was after the whole "It's not cheating if you're with a goblin" argument.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

But you're okay with the useless aristocracy, right? *bats eyelashes*


Comte de Malodor wrote:

Au secours! Au secours! Les lutins se révoltent!

An abbey, full of nuns - FULL. OF. NUNS. - and what does he do? Set fire to it. You see, this is what happens when you abolish serfdom.

What?

No nuns?

Oh, fine. Carry on. Have some turps.

I also notice that my effete, tea-drinking and dentist-shunning Elven steward is reading My Apprenticeship, by Gorky, for which he will be PUNISHED.

Comte, mon ami, if you can even afford an elven steward, you must doing something right. I'm stuck with all these goblin house servants who keep humping the cushions and shouting "Vive le Galt!!" at their moment of climax.

(Yes, Diceton Abbey could use a good going over with a bucket of bleach or two.)


I'm not saying you're an inattentive viewer, Doodlebug, but when something's revealed in the first episode, a claim of miles away sounds like a bit of an exaggeration.

Man, I liked that Duke, though; there's a member of the Peerage who had his priorities sorted out!


Kittyburger wrote:
Basically, he just stumbled onto why elite-class horse racing only uses the smallest and lightest jockeys it can find.

Is there any other kind?


Orfamay Quest wrote:
Adamantine Dragon wrote:


Living in a well-built "smial" was indeed a sign of status for hobbits. But I would peg Bilbo's lifestyle as more or less corresponding to what we in the West now describe as "upper middle class," not "wealthy."

Except that he didn't work to support himself. He didn't even take in lodgers, the traditional way to eke out a living from a house that's too grand for your income. That's a "wealthy" lifestyle, not upper-middle class. He lived purely off income from rents and investments.

OMFG, lodgers! Here's to paying guests!

Now, if I can just get the guest suites full before Lady Dice sees her attorney . . .


Comte, you're a man after my own heart; the guest wing is always available at the Dice Estate. We have had a small problem with goblin infestation, but what old manor house doesn't have a little vermin scurrying around behind the walls?

If you're taking Zelazny for a test drive, I'd recommend one of his stand alone books like Lord of Light; the Amber stuff is good, but there are oodles of books in the series.


I don't allow Scrabble at the Dice Estate; it can be used to teach the illiterate lower classes how to read, and that's where things go awry . . .


Comrade Anklebiter wrote:
Comrade Anklebiter in no way advocates spelling "America" "Amerika," nor even "AmeriKKKa" (except for on picket signs, where it looks great). Nor, in fact, does Comrade Anklebiter necessarily endorse anything in that above post. Louis Proyect, for example, hates Wes Anderson and wrote that Moonrise Kingdom made him want to throw up.

I liked that part where the tween-aged kids made out on the beach, though, that bit was pretty good . . . what?


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Doodlebug, once you start spelling America with a K, you're just going to alienate the people who would benefit the most from your message. (Seriously, when I want to whip up anti-goblin fervor, I just explain to everyone how goblins spell "Amerika.")


I've mentioned it before Limey: I hired a eugenist, to breed a race of docile, hard word-working goblins for the Dice Estate, but the result was worse than the killer bee experiment. I ended up with with a kennel full of tireless, mouthy, politically active goblins. Take it from me, eugenics is a bad idea . . . plus, sometimes they they fly!


I just said the Xenogenesis Trilogy was worth reading was all.

Also, most of the books in my estate's library are those fancy leather bound volumes of blank pages we nouveau riche types keep to look like we're well read.

(I sold off all the first editions that came with with the estate a long time ago; Lady Dice called me a philistine, but I was all, "Hey baby, you may be of noble birth, but you married me for my financial 'acumen'." She didn't criticize my decisions after that, but she did spend all afternoon talking to her lawyer.)


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Comrade Anklebiter wrote:
Turin the Mad wrote:
Comrade Anklebiter wrote:

And what bearing does that have on the contradiction between the United States of America being founded on Government Of, By and For the People and it taking half a century to establish even universal white male suffrage?

But, to address your points: I'm no fan of Stalin, Molotov or Mao; and although, no, Lenin and Trotsky weren't exemplars of kindness, they never raped their slaves.

My response is to the slamming of the character of the US Founding Fathers. It struck me as "pot meet kettle". Very few 'great people' are exemplars of humanity - most are very much people of their time. To expect both is naive.

Well, don't get me wrong, the Founding Fathers, as far as slave-raping 18th-century plutocrats go, were pretty cool. I even actually kind of like a couple of them, although my favorite, as you can probably guess, was Tom Paine. Vive le Galt!

However, my "slamming" of the FFs was more than a petulant outburst brought on by Citizen X's affectation that I don't exist and that I was arguing for corporate control of the country.

To counterpose America was founded on the idea of "Government Of, By and For" etc., to the idea that America was founded on the idea of "Don't trust the government" is stupid. Federalists didn't trust the Democrats; Democrats didn't trust the Federalists; neither trusted "the people", and a wide range of "the people" didn't trust them.

Not the coolest in your opinion, though, right? /ingratiatingsmile


. . . Not to mention effete plutocrats.

Taldor will rise again!


As long as I agree with what they're teaching, there's no agenda to it. :P


1 person marked this as a favorite.

OMG, at least the Choose Your Own Adventure series was interactive!

Edit: Also,it's Samuel R. Delany, with no second "E." (This is one of those rare moments when spelling really matters).


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Didn't mean to put you on the spot, thanks for the answer.

Here on the Dice Estate only the noble classes are allowed to carry; I'm glad to see you comply with that. I've heard that White Knight Doodlebug lets the lower classes arm themselves within his holdfast, but that place is a figurative and literal mess.


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White Knight Doodlebug wrote:
Beckett wrote:

You have the absolutely most interesting understanding of what it is to ignore someone that I have ever witness. I'm particularly intrigued how my personal opinion can be of such an offending "shiznit" about an individual that would likely goblin-astrate you for forcing her to be the damsel in distress, part 3, I believe.

Also, just curious, how does it feel to G-slap a guy earing a full helmet and is immune to non-lethal?

If you read back in the thread, knave, you will see that I have already unignored you, as ignoring one's inferiors is against the Noble Anklebiter Code of Chivalry.

My second will be in touch, sirrah.

*Immediately enters White Knight Doodlebug into the rolls of the Knights of Dice.*


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Well, if he was an elf, how masculine could that shoulder possibly be?

Although, if "She takes you to the back room and whips the shiznit out of you" is an example of what you've learned on Paizo.com, you haven't been paying attention. :P


Oops, missed this one over the weekend.

Clears throat.

Sacred prostitute? What, you don't think I'm down to earth enough to play a common streetwalker? Though maybe one who has managed to claw her way up the social ladder slave ("I prefer handmaiden.") to Matron of the house, that sounds a bit more awesome.

You know what, never mind the pbp, I think I just met the newest resident of Manse Dice.

I've been reading David Sedaris' new book, Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls, and a french language comic book (graphic novel to all you snobs out there) called L'Imperatrice Rouge.

You'd like it, Doodlebug. It's set in the near future, in a world where the October Revolution failed and the Czars conquered Europe (or, as people of my station call it, Heaven). At least, I think that's what is about; my french is fairly terrible, so I'm reduced to exclaiming, "That character just introduced herself, and her names Adja!" or, "Someone just said something about a library!"

I'm not saying you can become fluent by reading (or whatever) foreign language comic books, but it broadens your mind. Look, whatever, the pictures are pretty.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Comrade Anklebiter wrote:
Charles Scholz wrote:

Goblinproofing Your Chicken Coop

Just saw this book. Thought I would share.

[Adds Citizens Scholz, Bakeley and Marsh to the List of Enemies of the Revolution to be dealt with on the Night of the Stinking Buzzards, which, of course, is headed by Paizo.}

[Adds Sirs Scholz, Bakaley, and Marsh to list of the Knights of Dice, in honor of their service to the Dice Estate.]

Look, Doodlebug, I know you've got a soft spot for goblins--hell, I know you are a goblin--but every single one of my tenant farmers complains about the loss of chickens to indigent, thieving goblins.

...Excuse me? How much rent I charge my tenant farmers, and the quality of my rental properties, is immaterial to this conversation!

Edit: And yeah, the whole reason I came to the books thread to start with was to commiserate about the death of Chinua Achebe. Sucks.


thejeff wrote:
Comrade Anklebiter wrote:
Anyway, I just don't understand how the tax increases on half-millionaires or whatever it was, alongside increased taxes on the rest of the population constitutes "punishing the rich" is all.

The poor rich are already working so hard creating jobs for the rest of us out of the pure goodness of their hearts that insulting them by taking a few more of the precious dollars that haven't already been taxed away hurts them so badly. We're like ungrateful children, snapping at the hand that feeds us.

(I have no idea where that metaphor went wrong. It got away from me somewhere in the middle. Try this:)

The rich are like angry gods. Only the continuous sacrifice of more and more tax cuts will cause them to use their magical job creating powers to save us.

Tax cuts are least of what we deserve, you Commies!

Taldor will rise again!


DarkLightHitomi wrote:
Second, I would allow duels, but only when properly administered by an appointed official. And could be to first blood, or death.

I'm not saying you're wrong, but at this point, we've left a democratic government well behind us, right?

Taldor will rise again!


Dicemeister?

My title is Lord Dice.

(Snooty inflection.)


Oh, what am I reading? Well, I've been reading by candlelight, lately. :P


Comrade Anklebiter wrote:
Vive le Galt!

Taldor will rise again!


1 person marked this as a favorite.

There's plenty of overlap between the two; I give discounts on DiceCo{tm} products to those who pledge me their fealty.


I'm just hoping Indulgences make a comeback in this breve new world. *wink*


Freehold DM wrote:
Don Juan de Doodlebug wrote:

Some non-communist news for y'all

I myself have often wondered about this.

an interesting one.

I always assumed it because people aren't that articulate when having a visceral emotional reaction to something; Like panicking, but from cuteness, for less then a second.

And, of course, cute little puppies are delicious.


Sissyl wrote:
Gobbo, tell me something... Why isn't the right calling it Cultural Stalinism?

Honestly? Because by doing that you ignore China. The whole point of Cultural Marxism is that you look at a diverse society and say, "This is just as bad as the Cultural Revolution!"

Don't you remember how awesome everything was up until the sixties? No? Well, speaking for the plutocracy, I do.

Taldor shall rise again!


Comrade Anklebiter wrote:

Racists and plutocrats, you will all pay!!!

Except for Comrade Gnomunist who is quite correct that there are no copyright laws on the collective but here in the belly of the beast, in the words of Tracy Marrow,

I gotta get paid tonight, you're motherf@&@ing right
think of my grip, check my biznitch, keep my game tight.

Vive le Galt!

I pay all the time; having the means to pay for goods and services is what puts me above the unwashed masses.

I swear, the things you have to explain to goblins . . .


See, this is my problem right here:

bugleyman wrote:

I would say not very sustainable.

Thought I don't mean that in a "the sky is falling" way. Just that, given current technology, the planet couldn't support a U.S. lifestyle for seven billion people.

Our current model is very sustainable so long as we only give nice things like electrical power to the upper echelons of society. First world lifestyle for the third world has never been a big part of our civilization.

...What?


It wasn't a paladin...


While I, as a member of the higher classes, must side with Her Royal Majesty, Lady Dice and Dicey both demand that I tell you they think your great uncle to be "Totally f!$+ing awesome!" (Dicey's words, not mine.)


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Robert Hawkshaw wrote:
She might not have mentioned it, but there was queer theory stuff happening in the 70s and 80s. There can be / is a deep divide between LGBT folks and feminists, depending on your flavour of feminist. Pornography/eroticism/BDSM are issues that separates a lot for instance, mainstream feminism rejects them as oppressive, queer theory can embrace them.

On the other hand, I, as a scion of the Patriarchy, spend a good deal of my time listening to Patti Smith while perusing Robert Mapplethorpe photos.* I'm not saying you're wrong, but the smartest of my gay friends had to take Women's Studies in college, because they hadn't even renamed it Gender Studies at that point. (Late eighties, early nineties.)

*Yes, the garden parties at the Dice Estate are totally rockin', but not for the timid of any persuasion.


Robert Hawkshaw wrote:

Our culturally marxist hockey training has crushed you capitalist pig dogs at world juniors. Is glorious.

http://sports.nationalpost.com/2012/12/30/goaltenders-steal-show-in-canadas -win-over-u-s-at-world-juniors/

Keeps talking like that, and we capitalist pig dogs will avail ourselves of youth swordplay. :P


Andrée La Galtoise wrote:
Fouquier-Tinville wrote:

I hope you don't mean Ms. Corday. Although, she did have quite a charming head...

Srly, though, yay!! When you get a chance we demand baby pix!!

Apparently, I have been missing on some of the fun.

Congrats on your knowledge of the subject, though.

I can't say I approve of your life choices, Andrée, but welcome to the party. (Yes, it's invite-only.)


Freehold DM wrote:
This does raise an interesting question re: what PCs do with the money they earn. Do they become merchant lords or blow it all on coke and whores? This thread is going in interesting directions.

Speaking as a scion of parvenus, isn't the point to become such as successful merchant lord that you can fund business ventures and still have a fortune left over to blow on coke and hookers? The two are hardly mutually exclusive.

Speaking seriously, I've played in campaigns where becoming a merchant lord was a better use of gold than upgrading gear. Blowing it all on coke and hookers seems more an RP choice, regardless of the campaign goals. Don't get me wrong, I like RP, I just think the PC are bound to put the majority of time/effort/loot into campaign goals.


Haladir wrote:
Lord Dice wrote:
Wait, Lem's a halfling? I coulda sworn that dude was a gnome. *shrugs*
I think you may be confusing Lem with this guy, who is a gnome from a similar-but-not-the-same alternate universe. I think that guy's name was "Gimble."

I think you may be taking a joke seriously, and providing an answer I was well aware of, but no harm, no foul.

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