|
|
||||||||||||||||||
| Paizo Pathfinder® GameMastery® Planet Stories® Paizo Games | |||||||||||||||||||
| About Paizo Messageboards News Paizo Blog Help/FAQ | |||||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||
|
 Recent Posts
"Boris, everyone knows that the Computer is too wise to assign a doubter to a troubleshooting team. "And as for grenades, they are tools of my trade. They help me to... spread the happiness around."
After polishing off his Cold Fun, Logan takes three RED barrels and attaches one to his grip. He then takes the medication and stows it in his satchel alongside the barrels. "Can I buy a grenade?" he asks. Logan is quite enjoying the new REAL happiness that comes with being the Happiness Officer. Everything he says or does is accentuated with cheer and a smirk. "Oh... and a spoon!" he adds.
"Horton," Logan says, "So it doesn't bother you to be the source of Tru's unhappiness?" "You didn't answer my question, Horton. It's a simple yes or no answer." Logan gives Horton the stink eye as he bites his Cold Fun.
"Horton," Logan pipes up, "Imagine the happiness that it would give Tru if you were to let him see your camera. As the Happiness Officer, it is my duty to make sure that everyone on this team is happy. That includes Tru. You wouldn't want to be the cause of Tru's unhappiness would you, Horton?" Logan looks Horton in the eye and licks his Cold Fun.
Spoiler:
Logan eyes the illegal, fake Yellow laser barrel.
"Why yes, of course I can explain that," he says happily to the interrogator. "The object before you only merely appears to be a Yellow laser barrel. But it's actually an experimental device assigned to me by R&D in my capacity as the Happiness Officer of my troubleshooters outfit. This object, in actuality, is a happiness device with the working title of Joy Toy. I've been having remarkable success with my team of troubleshooters. In fact, I'd wager that they are the happiest clones in the Complex! Here, let me demonstrate it for you." Logan takes the barrel and sticks his finger in one end. "Now normally," he continues with contagious enthusiasm, "I'd attach it to a grip and pretend that I was going to shoot an unhappy troubleshooter. But instead of getting jolted, the perp would receive a pleasant wave of happiness and the mission could continue on without any further complications. Follow me? But truth be told, you don't even need the grip. That's just a prop. Believe it or not, an uncooperative citizen is more willing to take a laser blast than a blast of joy. So this device is designed to fit a laser grip so as to catch an uncooperative citizen unaware." Logan eyes the interrogator's trucheon and then winks at him. "I think you'd appreciate THAT." "Okay, now for the demonstration! Just put your finger in the other end of the barrel there." Logan motions to the goons to come over. "You too! Come on over and get your dose of pure, unadulterated rapture!" Logan says, "Certainly LOYAL citizens wouldn't refuse to become more happy." Then he makes it obvious that he is looking at their name tags and making mental notes. "You don't want to be happy?" "Just place your fingers on the device near your commander's. Yeah, that's it! Okay, now are you gentlemen ready to exult in the sheer ecstasy of golden glee?" With that, Logan activates his mutant power, attempting to send high voltage through his finger and into the Yellow laser barrel, electrocuting the lot of them.
Logan emits a jolly chortle at Boris' joke. Logan is pleased to see that he is effective at his job of Happiness Officer. "Boris, as the Happiness Officer, I would like to extend to you an official commendation. Well done! And speaking of IntSec officers... Three IntSec officers walk into a bar.
Logan lets out a hearty laugh. He really is enjoying his new-found happiness. "Good one, Boris! Okay, okay, I got another one! A Happiness Officer walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve Happiness Officers here." And the Happiness Officer says, "But, dude, it's Happy Hour!"
Suddenly a light bulb goes off in Logans head. He stops chanting and rocking. "Wait," Logan says, "If I'M the Happiness Officer, than no one can force me to be happy now. And that makes me happy!" GM only: Spoiler:
Also: What better way to sabotage those loathsome happiness laws than by being the Happiness Officer? A gleam appears in Logan's eye. And he smiles. And for first time, his smile is not fake, but REAL. And for the first time, Logan appears genuinely happy. Logan stands up and, sporting his new REAL grin, he falls in line. "Logan-R-RUN-1 reporting for duty!"
"No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no." Spoiler for Boris Spoiler:
"No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no." Spoiler for Bob Spoiler:
"No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no." Spoiler for Tru Spoiler:
"No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no." Spoiler for Horton: Spoiler:
"No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no." Spoiler for Tim: Spoiler:
"No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no."
Happiness Officer. At those words, Logan's permanent smile finally drops and he sits in his chair in stunned disbelief. "H-happiness Officer? Me? Oh. No." He starts to rock back and forth. "Oh no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no." He stops rocking. "I-I must kill myself." He begins rocking again. "No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no."
Spoiler:
Logan bristles at the vile insult "Computer lover," but he manages to keep his big friendly smile intact. He looks like he's having a good time, but he really wants to kill everyone on board. If the fools think him a "Computer lover," then all the better to keep his association with the Frankenstein Destroyers a secret.
With a big plastic smile, Logan, contacts the Computer, "Oh majestic Computer, this is Logan-R-RUN-1 reporting an act of treason. Standing before me is Horton-R-TPK-1 with a piece of equipment that he does not have the proper clearance for. This is clearly an act of treason." Logan then snaps a picture of Horton for the Computer to see. He also takes a picture of the partial Secret Society symbol painted on the floor. "He is also cleary the perpetrator of the heinous act of vandalism done to the floor of this trans-bot. Insubordination!" "Also, if that symbol means he belongs to a certain group that I dare not mention, then he is clearly a member of said group. Treason!" "All hail the Computer!" Spoiler:
Logan curses at himself for giving the hated Computer honorifics, but a clone must do what he must to survive.
GM Spoiler:
In the darkness, Logan drops his plastic smile. In fact, he allows his face to register his true feelings. Anger. Frustration. Hate. Paranoia. And dare I say it? Unhappiness.
Logan decides that he hates Boris-R-LOF-1 for his pathetic dependence on happiness drugs. Weak. Realizing that Boris's admission of unhappiness is treason, Logan decides not to report it because the only thing Logan hates worse than Boris are the Happiness laws enforced by the Computer. Indeed, it's those very laws that made him hate Boris. One of them, Logan muses to himself, Is that Pro-Tech bastard and I'm going to find out who and fry him! But I must be patient. Yes, patient. Logan takes out his PDC and start taking pictures so he can see what's going on. He tries to get a look at the symbol that is painted on the floor. And then...
Spoiler:
Meaningless spoiler. After that, I'd like to...
Spoiler:
Meaningless spoiler. And shove it up his...
Spoiler:
Meaningless spoiler
Watching the monitors, Logan-R-RUN-1 says, "Oh, this must be that new reality series I've heard about... Acrobats of OID Sector!" His big smile never falters, but his eyes register worry. "Those people don't seem to be happy. Indeed, they seem to be causing each other pain! They must've fallen and gotten all tangled up. Hmmmph. I don't see what all the hype is about. They're really not all that good." Logan rummages through his pockets. "Fortunately, I always carry with me things that make me happy," he says with a chuckle. He pulls out a Teela-O Pocket mirror and admires his reflection. "Ah! Now there's someone that looks happy!" GM only: Spoiler:
Logan tilts the mirror slightly to spy on the others. He is looking for suspicious behavior. His smile never falters.
*Logan-R-RUN-1 steps up to the transbot platform just in time to take in the joke. He lets out a hearty, fake-sounding belly laugh.* "Greetings, fellow happy citizens!," he says with a plastic smile, "I am Logan-R-RUN-1. Words cannot express the joy I am feeling over coming into your aquaintances!" He looks and talks like a 1970's game show host in a red jumpsuit.
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
