Logan-R-RUN's page

Logan-R-Run-4 wanders among the corpses picking up bags of chippies.

Recording Officer Logan-R-Run-4, retrieves a boot from the corpse of Logan-R-Run-3, along with his other possessions.

Was my recording equipment destroyed when I got squished?

"Logan-R-RUN-4 reporting for duty!" Logan says. Then he goes to the cafeteria to retrieve his gear.

Logan-R-Run-3's last words: "It itches. I just... can't... find... the... itch."

Logan-R-Run-3 regains consciousness. "I've always wanted to try mother's milk," he says dreamily. Obviously, Logan is delerious. "Oh... Man, it itches." He tries scratching his missing leg with his foot. "But I just can't find that itch!" His foot just keeps tapping the blood-pooled floor where his leg should be.

Logan faints from the trauma.

"AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHKELLLYCLAAARKSSSON!!!!!!" Logan screams in pain.

"Horton... Horton..." Logan-R-Run-3 barely manages to speak. "I c-can't get m-my arms up...T-too wounded...If you are my f-friend, p-put my hands be-behind my h-head for m-m-me...H-hurry, before they sh-shoot m-me for noncompliance! Oh, and wh-while you're at it...c-could you scratch my left elbow?"

"I regret that I have but six clones to give for my Alpha Complex!"

"Nnnngghh!" Logan-R-RUN-3 says, finding it difficult to breath. "K-kill them a-all. L-let the com-p-p-puter sort them out!"

Logan-R-RUN-3 steps on Wantru to get to the Vendobot's accessway. Once inside, where he hopes no one can see him, he cuts loose scratching where it itches. His left foot scratches the top of his right foot, while his left hand scratches his waistline, and his right hand goes for the gold in his buttcrack.

"Aaaah," Logan sighs with relief. He rubs his back against the vendobot, trying to reach that impossible spot between the shoulder blades.

Despite the chaos raging outside, Logan has found tranquility. Hmmm, he thinks, I'd bet that a commie spork would make a good back scratcher."

Logan-R-RUN-3 is having a difficult time holding his camera steady, due to a persistant itch between his shoulder blades. And on top of his feet. And underneath the band of his tighty-whiteys. And in the crack of his butt.

He is jerking and twitching in ways that cause him to look as if he is first jogging in place and then doing the robot dance very poorly.

[/Dr. Suess]
He itches here.
He itches there.
He twitches everywhere.

He jerks to the the left.
He jerks to the right.
His quirks are out of sight.
[/Dr. Suess]

"Sir," Logan yells over the chaos, "would you like me to go in place of Tru, sir? The savages have not yet ravaged my chippies."

"Recording Officer, you should keep that camera trained on these Reds and make sure that any treasonous behavior, like stealing chippies without paying, is documented. I'll get this check done as soon as I can."

"Already on top of it. I'm getting EVERYTHING recorded!" Logan-R-Run-3 says to Tim, and then he shouts at the mob. "You hear that you traitorous thieves? You're being filmed! The fact that you are taking chips without paying for them proves that you don't believe in capitalism! That means that you are communists and traitors! You're lucky that I don't have a grenade and a spoon!"

was there absolutely no reaction to this speech I had made?, I was trying to be so melodramatic too...

Sorry, Boris. I think that your post may have been delayed or something. Because I didn't even see it until now and I posted right after you did. *shrugs* Not sure what happened.

GM:

Logan holds up his recording device for the mob to see. "This is a recording device! If you don't want your treasonous behavior to be recorded for the sake of administering justice, then I suggest that you all get happy... NOW!" Logan scans the crowd with his camera.

Logan-R-RUN wrote:

2. Ha! Another trick question! Whoever killed us is not only dead, but blown to bits. There is nothing left to do to him.

"What if someone dropped a grenade through a hatch in the elevator and killed us all..." hmmm?

"If that is the case, then I would torture him until he tells us who he is working for. Then I'd blow his brains out. All while smiling happily, of course." Logan smiles happily.

pops a blue pill

"Now, if Logan will answer my final question, and Bob answers my questions, I think I will be able to file my report and administer happiness to all"

Logan smiles happily. "Everything I said was truth. Nothing was a lie or propaganda. Fact: There is nothing left of whoever killed our predecessors, so I can't do anything to him. Fact: Regardless of the circumstances, happiness is STILL mandatory."

1. "If you got to kill a commie, how would that make you feel?"

2. "If you found out who killed our team last mission what would you do to them?

3. "If you failed to execute a mission for the computer, how would that make you feel"

4. "Do robots make you happy?"

"In addition I need you to look at this" pulls out a Roa-R-SHK test kit...holds up a card "and tell me what you see"

"Oh boy! I love tests!" Logan beams. "I'm really good at tests.

1. Ha! A trick question! Everyone knows that Happiness is mandatory.

2. Ha! Another trick question! Whoever killed us is not only dead, but blown to bits. There is nothing left to do to him.

3. Ha! Another trick question! Everyone knows that Happiness is mandatory.

4. Ha! These are all trick questions! Everyone knows that Happiness is mandatory.

Logan films the Roa-R-SHK test. "Hmmm... I see... Success! WHOO!! Go team!"

Hygiene Roll: 1d20+9=19

"Hygiene inspection? Cool!" Logan says cheerily while scratching his ribcage. If I act like nothing is wrong, he thinks to himself, then no one will notice my stench.

"No doubt," he says perkily, "Pamela-B-Job will also get a hygiene inspection too." Logan picks up his recording equipment.

Logan scratches the back of his knee with his foot.

*sheepishly raises hand*

Everyone. I would like to sincerely apologize for derailing the game and all of your best laid evil plans. That was not my intention. I have learned my lesson. This game is about controlled chaos not utter chaos. I'm sure that Logan-R-RUN-3 will be a little more subtle.

So no retrieving equipment from our previous clones' corpses?

GM:

Another thing...

"I attack the darkness!"

GM:

OOC: A little confused here. We are still on the elevator, right? And our team is the only people inside, correct?

"Hey, Horton! Film me with my new spoon!" Logan beams as he holds his spoon out for the camera to catch.

I would also like to say that I've been enjoying this a lot. This is not only my first game of Paranoia, but also my first PBP.

"Well, I don't know...I was just trying to make a point. I don't know much about commies except that they're traitors and enemies of The Computer. My main point wasn't so much the utensils as it was the blowing up part. I mean, if you don't buy anything and you're just given things, you can have as much as you want, right? Or as much as they want?"

*twitch*

"This isn't a very fun conversation anymore." Tim pulls out his pack of smokes and sticks one in his mouth, then offers the pack to Logan.

"Cigarette?"

"No thanks, I just passed a hygiene inspection." Logan sighs, "Look, man, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring you down. Thing is... You like my spoon. So you're all right. And that blowing up part... that's good stuff."

Team Leader Boris-R-LOF-2 wrote:

"I wonder, you might be able to use your spoon to make your grenade fly farther..."

Boris then demonstrates with his imaginary spoon and an imaginary grenade, and then points at how much farther it went in his mind...

"See sound principle, you should try it with a grenade"

"Damn. I should've gotten grenades. I knew I was forgetting something!"

"Commies have 12-piece dining sets?" Logan eyes Tim warily. "That's hard to believe. It's so.. so capitalistic! Imagine all the money that could be made if everyone had to buy 12 pieces instead of just a fork and spoon."

"Nice spoon, Logan."

"Why thank you, Tim. I appreciate a man who appreciates a good spoon. You know why that is, Tim? It's because a man that loves a spoon is not a communist. Think about it. A capitalist wants you to buy more eating utensils, so they can make more money, right? So they split the spork in two so you have to buy both a fork and a spoon. Brilliant!

"But those commies don't give a damn about making money; they just want to spread it all around, see? So what do they do? That's right: Nothing! They leave the spork alone. It's easier to spread around that way. And that my friend, is how to find out who's a friend and who's a commie bastard."

Logan shows Bob the spoon. "Hey Bob, Check out my new spoon!"

GM:

"Hey, Boris. Nice uhh... sword." Logan says, eyeing him warily. Then perkily, "Look! I got nice spoon!"

GM

"I concur, sir. In fact, I'm sure you'll find my cavaties quite pleasant."

"Welcome, Logan-R-RUN-2. I'm sorry, but after your last clone's, cleanliness I can't take any chances.", Bob says with a vaguely welcoming smile.

"Understood. And I'm sure you'll find my anus so clean that you could use it as a tootbrush holder."

Hygiene Inspection (1d20+11+4=23)

"Yes, sir!" Logan says. He digs through his satchel and pulls out a single-serving cup of Cold Fun. "I believe this should do the trick." Handing the cup to Horton with a smile and a wink.

"Logan, good to have you on board! I'm sure you'll be an asset to the team!"Tim shakes Logan's hand.

"Thank you, Tim. It's good to be on board."

Tim:

"Logan-R-RUN-2 reporting for booty, I-I mean duty!"

Logan collects his gear from the body of the previous Logan. "What? No grenades?"

He then quickly falls in line. "Bob, as a clone fresh from the tank, I assure you that I couldn't be any cleaner. In fact, I have yet to have a bowel movement, as I have yet to eat. I assure you that I have the cleanest orifices in the entire sector. As the Happiness Officer, I must insist that I be exempt from the inspection as I'm sure that not having to worry about my cleanliness will make you feel happy."

The final words of Logan-R-Run-1 as the light fades from his eyes... er... sockets:

"Tell my clone I died bravely. And my hair was perfect."

The rest is silence.

OOC: nice!!! that's some great visuals Logan!

Thanks, Boris!

Oh, and don't take the above post personally. ;)

500th post for this thread!!

Writhing on the ground, Logan yells, "My face is melting! My face is melting!" He begins to sob like a child. "I-I used to be beautiful! I was g-gonna be famous. F-FAMOUS!" He feels inside his satchel and finds his Teela-O pocket mirror. He holds it up to his face, but he can't see anything. So he feels the surface of the mirror as if he were reading it like braille. "I was pretty. So pretty. Like Teela-O."

GM

"Gaaaaaahhhh!" Logan says, dropping to his knees and frantically wiping his face. "Get it off me! Get it off! Gaaaahhhh!!!"

"My name is Logaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan," Logan says as he's being thrown on top of the grenade.

If Logan gets to grenade on time:
Logan grabs the grenade and holds the switch down, preventing it from exploding. He stands up, holding the grenade up for all to see. "Look! I finally got one!" he says, his face is an expression of pure joy. "And," pointing at Tim, "he's Tim!"

"Hey," Logan says to the ORANGE traitor, "I've been looking to purchase me some grenades, so I was wondering if you have any more on you that you'd like sell before you blow us all up?"

"It's that reality show that everyone is talking about. It's about, y'know, acrobats doing acrobatics. That last transbot we rode on, with your previous clone, was showing an episode on the monitors. I'd heard that they were really good, but I was disappointed with what I saw. The acrobats had fallen on top of each other and were in a lot of pain, moaning and yelling each other's name. And they were naked. It was stupid. And now we get on this transbot and... well I'm not sure if it's the same show, but that music...

"Oh, and my name is Logan. He's Tim. How can you lead us, if you don't even know our names?"

Logan types on his PDC.

GM

Logan's head bobs a little with the music's groove. "Huh? Is Acrobats of OID Sector still on?" he says, looking at the monitor. "Why would acrobats pretend to be handymen?"

GM

Logan winks at the camera.

Logan presents a cocky smirk to everyone.